Skeletons

by McFadden, Shimeka

  When Pandia saw me standing there watching them she said, “Asteria, Keith came to take me to lunch, so I’ll be back in a few?”

  Trying to ignore the fire that was building up in the pit of my stomach I responded, “Are you finished?”

  Looking at me sideways Pandia retorted, “I wouldn’t be leaving if I weren’t, now would I?”

  Forcing a smile on my face I walked back to the office making sure I didn’t slam the door behind me. How Keith could come down here and take that bitch for lunch? He never took me to lunch, he never takes me anywhere. Grabbing my cell phone off of the desk I sent Keith a text message:

  How cute, taking the wife to lunch lol you two are meant for one another.

  Keith hated when I talked about his relationship with my sister, but that is all that I could do to keep myself from crying. Instead of sitting in the office feeling sorry for myself I called Santana and Jovanna to meet me for lunch at Pi which was right down the street from the salon.

  Santana looked like the professional that she was dressed in a tweed, chocolate, wide-legged business suit with her golden bob hair style softly framing her round face. In college Santana was called freckles because she had a trail of freckles that ran across the bridge of her nose which gave her honey colored skin a youthful appearance. Jovanna, on the other hand, has always been more of the Bohemian type with a pair of wide-legged trouser jeans, a thick chocolate sweater with a black belt and brown cap pulled over her long jet-black hair.

  Choosing a booth close to a window we sat down and ordered our drinks, I made sure that I could see out of the window so that I could see Keith and his wife ride by.

  “So what is so important that I had to drive all of the way to U-City to eat lunch with you Asteria?” Santana fussed, “You are lucky that I’m not busy today.”

  I sighed heavily, “Men issues.”

  “Girl that is the story of our lives.” Jovanna said.

  “What in the hell are you talking about Jovanna, Justin is too good to you. Hell he has forsaken his own damn family for your black ass where most men can’t even forsake their video games for their women.

  “No one is perfect; Justin and I have our share of issues too. Don’t get it twisted.”

  “Seriously, Asteria what is going on with you and this unidentified man?” Jovanna asked. “Didn’t we just have this conversation the other night?”

  “Sometimes I feel as if I’m being played for a fool.” I answered.

  “If you feel like a nut then you are probably a nut honey.” Santana said bluntly as she took a bite of her chicken sandwich.

  “There is nothing stronger than the female intuition, listen to your gut.” Jovanna said.

  If I had listened to my gut I would not be in the situation because my gut told me not to start sleeping with my twin sister’s husband in the first place. Now my gut was telling me to walk away, but my heart doesn’t want to listen.

  “I love this man, yet I feel so empty inside.” I said. “When we are together it feels so right, but when he leaves I just want to tear my heart out and throw it out of my window and hit him in the head with it like HERE IT IS TAKE IT!” I exclaimed. “Knowing him, he’d probably just step over it and keep on walking.”

  “Love is supposed to fill you up not make you feel empty.” Jovanna put. “If you are walking away drained then you are not getting what you need.”

  “After putting in all of the work.” Santana added. “You have too many other things going on in your life to let this man dictate your emotions like that. You have the salon and your son to worry about.”

  Sighing I picked at the salad that the waitress sat in front of me, “But I don’t want to be alone. The salon can’t hold me at night and my son can’t make love to me; I want to be a part of a family.”

  They listened to me go on and on about the love that I sought from a man that was unavailable to me.

  “I feel as if I could spend the rest of my life with him, but then I also feel that I am living in some sort of fantasy land and he is just using me to get what he wants.”

  “Is this man married?” Santana questioned, “I’m asking because he has all of the signs of a man that is unobtainable.”

  Catching me off guard with her question, I knocked over a glass of water, spilling it on my jeans, “No, he isn’t married, he is just a busy man.”

  My girls looked knowingly at one another, but didn’t say another word. “He seems as if he has some other things going on in his life and that is why he can’t fully give you what you need.”

  “He works a lot.” I lied.

  “Why haven’t we met him yet?” Jovanna asked.

  “Because I don’t want to keep running men in and out of my friend’s lives. When the time is right you all will meet.” I lied again, I never intended for Santana and Jovanna to know about Keith and I. They would never understand and it would most likely end our friendship. There are certain rules that as a woman could not be broken, the number one unspoken rule is that you do not sleep with the man of your best friends or sister. While I did sleep with Keith, I never intended to let them in on my secret affair with Keith, instead he and I will move away after he leaves Pandia. I would just have to wait until the time was right and I am more than willing to do so.

  “How are you and Mike doing Santana?” I asked changing the subject as a way to divert their prying eyes.

  “Married life is just that; married life.” She said dryly and bit down into her ham and cheese sandwich leaving a bit of honey Dijon mustard on her lips.

  “Wow.” Jovanna said, “Is that what I have to look forward to?”

  “When Mike and I first got married, he couldn’t keep his hands off of me, but now after twelve years of marriage I almost have to beg him for sex.”

  “You no longer have a sex life?” I asked.

  “Unless you call five minutes once or twice a month a sex life.” She cut her brown eyes.

  “Do you think that he is seeing someone else?” I questioned.

  “No, Mike isn’t the type that will cheat on me. Honestly I just think that we have just gotten bored with one another.”

  Jovanna asked, “How do you get bored with your husband? I can’t imagine ever getting bored with Justin.”

  “You have to understand that Mike and I have been together since we were in high school, throughout college and now we have settled into this married life slump. I am a different person than I was in high school and throughout college as is he.”

  “Are you okay with that?” I asked.

  Sighing Santana answered, “I don’t know.”

  “You guys have just lost your spark, there are books, workshops and even retreats that couples can go on in order to ignite that fire that they once had.” Jovanna added.

  “I don’t know if I even want to invest that amount of time into anything like that.” She sighed. “Besides Mike believes the only help that we need is the help of prayer and God.”

  “That is a Preacher’s son for you.” Asteria smiled.

  Looking at her in disbelief I said, “Marriage is an investment Santana, and like any other investment you have to invest in it. You and Mike have been together since high school that is a long time to just throw away. Lasting marriages are so rare these days, I just don’t want to see your marriage fail.”

  “Who said that we were failing?” Santana shot, “All I said that was we have fallen into a slump and this is common for couples who have been together for some time. Don’t worry we will be alright.”

  “What are you ladies up to for the weekend?” I asked changing the subject as it was clear that Santana didn’t want to talk about her marriage any further.

  “I have a full plate dealing with wedding stuff and I have that to meet with a client to go over her party plans.” Jovanna said, “I’m going to be pretty busy.”

  “As usual.” I said, “You never sit still.”

  “Well, I was invited to a party.” Santana announced with exc
itement.

  With a raised eyebrow I asked, “Who invited you to a party?”

  “My assistant, Tabitha.” She answered. “Damn have I gotten so lame that it is impossible for me to be invited to parties?” Santana laughed.

  “Isn’t she the dark skinned girl with the long extensions?” Jovanna asked.

  “Yes, she is a great assistant.”

  “She is a brick house.” Jovanna exclaimed, “She is a cute girl, thank God you are a female and not one of those horny men or else she would have a hard time getting her work done.”

  “Remember our twenties?” I asked.

  We all laughed.

  Santana spoke, “I remember them and I’m so glad that they are over. I love my thirties; I know who I am, and where I want to be.”

  I agreed, “Your twenties are all about exploration, but they are filled with so many uncertainties and insecurities.”

  “If I could have my twenty-something body with my thirty-something mind I would be one bad bitch!” Jovanna joked.

  We laughed so loud that people were looking our way and that is how it was when I got together with my two best friends; they always made me feel better no matter how large the storm cloud was that chased me.

  When I got back to the salon, Pandia was styling a client; whatever she and Keith did on her lunch break must’ve been good because she was wearing a smile from ear to ear. She could smile all that she wanted, because he would be at my house tonight and by tomorrow that stupid smile would be replaced by tears.

  12

  Santana

  The sounds of hip hop rang through my ears as I made my way through The Loft for Tabitha’s birthday party. I had second thoughts about coming, but after the argument that Mike and I got into I quickly changed my mind and couldn’t wait to get out of the house. I managed to squeeze my way through the crowd and find a seat at the bar next to a model thin woman in an electric blue jumpsuit with micro-braids that reached the middle her her exposed back.

  She ran her dark eyes all over my body and smirked at my decision to wear a Diane Vonfurstenberg dress and boots. I was dressed more for a dinner meeting than a club.

  “Hi, I’m Lashonda” she introduced. “Good luck getting a drink.”

  “Hello Lashonda, I’m Santana.” I smiled.

  “I love your dress; where did you get it from?” She asked

  “I don’t remember I’ve had this for a while.”

  She smiled as if she knew that I’d pulled the vintage dress out of the back of my closet.

  Tabitha would often tell me about different people that she met, but I wouldn’t have imagined that her birthday party would have been so packed. It was practically standing room only in the VIP section of the club.

  “How do you know Tab?” She asked.

  “I work with her.”

  “That is how we met too.” she half-smiled as her eyes danced arouond my body a second time.

  Uncomfortable with the way her almond-shaped eyes roamed my body I began watching the crowd.

  “Is it usually this busy here?”

  Lashonda laughed, “You don’t get out much do you Santana?”

  “How could you tell?” I smiled.

  “It is always this busy in any club in this city. It seems that there is nothing else to do besides go to work Monday through Friday, go to the club on Saturday then go to church on Sunday.”

  “Are you from around here?”

  She shook her head, “No I’m from L.A. I only flew to St. Louis because Tab insisted that I come to her birthday party.”

  “You are here for one night?”

  “Yes and I can’t wait to leave.” She tossed her braids over her shoulder.

  “You and Tabitha must be good friends for you to have flew all of the way up here just to celebrate her bithday.”

  Winking at me, she whistled loudly catching the bartender’s attention “Hey can we get some service?” she yelled.

  The bartender finished his last order and made his way towards us.

  I raised an eyebrow, impressed with how bold she was.

  I ordered a glass of Moscato and she ordered a long island ice tea which she quickly guzzled half-way down.

  “That hit the spot.” She smiled. “Now I’m ready to dance! Do you want to join me?”

  “No thanks, I think that I’m going to park it right here for a while.”

  “I know that you didn’t come to this club just to sit at the bar Santana, come on dance with me I promise that I don’t bite.” she winked her long eyelashes.

  I laughed, “Maybe later.”

  “I am going to hold you to that sexy.” She said before walking on to the dance floor.

  As I watched Lashonda walk through the crowd I noticed Tabitha in the corner having what seemed like a heated conversation with an older woman who seemed out of place in the club. Wearing a black blazer over a crisp white shirt, khaki pants and black flats the salt and pepper haired woman seemed angry at Tabitha. I watched as Tabitha turned to walk away only for the woman to grab Tabitha by the arm. Yanking away Tabitha pointed a finger in the woman’s face, snaked her neck as she said a few words then walked away, leaving the woman standing with tears in her eyes. Noticing that I was watching the exchange Tabitha walked my way.

  She looked stunning in a fire engine red corset that barely contained her double D breast; the pair of skinny jeans that looked airbrushed on her curvacous body and a pair of stiletto Louboutin peep-toed heels that gave her short stature four additional inches.

  “Santana, I’m glad that you made it!” her embrace took me by surprise.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked with a concerned look on my face.

  “I’m cool; are you having fun?” she smiled.

  “Yes, you have a nice turn out. Unfortunately I have to leave, I have to get home to the family.” I said.

  “No don’t leave!” she pouted, “The party is just getting started.”

  “It’s getting late and I have to go to church in the morning.”

  “Church?” she mused, “I never would have thought of you to be a Bible thumping Christian woman Santana.”

  I laughed, “I’m not a Bible thumping Christian woman; my husband’s parents are the Pastor and First Lady of the church so I’m kind of obligated to go.”

  “Oh so you married the son of a Preacher man,” she giggled, “How sexy.”

  “If that is what you want to call it.” I said seemingly less than enthused.

  “Come on live a little and do a shot with me before you go.” She grabbed my hand and led me back to the bar. Looking back I saw the look of scorned written on the face of the woman who Tabitha had words with.

  Ignoring my protests, Tabitha proceeded to order two shots of Patron. Holding up her glass to mine she winked and said, “Happy birthday to me!” and threw the warm, bitter tasting liquor to the back of her throat swallowing hard.

  “Come on dance with me.” She urged, “It’s my birthday.”

  Of all of the men in the room, it was shocking that she wanted me to dance with her. As Tabitha ignored my many protest leading me to the dance floor by my hand, we stepped onto the crowded dance floor; when I looked back the woman scorned was gone.

  “You need to loosen up a bit.” She said, “You act like you are an old lady.”

  “That is what I feel like sometimes.” I yelled over the quick tempo of Lil Wayne.

  “You are far too attractive to feel like that.” Tabitha winked as she dropped to the floor, making her body snake as she came back up; she was so close to me that I could smell her Perry Ellis perfume. “The son of a Preacher man is a very lucky man.” She breathed as she gyrated on my body; I watched the sweat run from the back of her neck down her bare back to no man’s land.

  I swallowed hard trying to ignore that familiar feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time, “Tell him that.”

  “Maybe I will or maybe it will be our little secret.” Tabitha ran the tips of her fingers along my alre
ady sweaty face, “It’s getting hot in here.”

  Confused by her last gesture I continued to dance with her, Tabitha was too close for comfort, but I didn’t want her to go. I tried to ignore the fact that I enjoyed the uncomfortable coziness that Tabitha’s hot, sweaty body offered as we swayed together to the sounds of the music. I don’t know if it was the Patron, but for a moment it felt as if my dance partner and I were the only two people in the room. Feeling the softness of her hand on my thigh as she pulled me closer made me want to hold it there forever. Confused and soaked with the smell of our sweat mixed with that of our perfumes, I walked off of the dance floor leaving Tabitha behind.

  Making my way into the bathroom I tried to regain my composure, wiping sweat from my forehead and neck. Soon Tabitha was standing beside me with another drink in her hand.

  “Tabitha I really have to go.” I protested, but she handed me the drink and smiled.

  “Santana, you are a gorgeous woman, but sometimes I feel as if you underestimate yourself. Have you gotten so use to being a wife and a mother that you have forgotten how to be a woman and a lover?”

  Shocked by her audacious question I asked, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I don’t think that Mike is doing his job.” She put bluntly.

  Exposed by what Tabitha said I downed the drink. Tabitha said, “Sexually.”

  “Tabitha, I assure you, Mike and I are doing fine.”

  “Please, is that why your eyes roll whenever he calls or texts you? Is that why you always come to work in a huff? Is that why you look so horny right now, that you could fuck anyone in the other room like a dog in heat?” She whispered in my ear. “You want something Santana, but you won’t allow yourself to fuel the fire that is slowly dying inside of you.”

  “I’m not like that Tabitha, Mike and I just hit a bump, but it will get better.”

  “When will it get better? When Mike finally decides to pay attention to you? Why does Mike get to decide when it will get better? You need to take matters into your own hands and take care of yourself.”