Skeletons

by McFadden, Shimeka

  I was glad that things between she and Asteria have died down because that was one less thing that I had to deal with.

  “Who goes first?” I asked.

  “You called us here, so you go ahead.” Asteria said.

  “We always said that we were like sisters and that we were so close that we didn’t keep secrets form one another. Well, I have been hiding a skeleton in my closet, but now it is time for it to come out.” I began, “I have been to hell and back trying to keep this hidden, but look at where it has gotten me, I was shot and my fiancé was stabbed.” I cried, “I just can’t hide this any longer.”

  “My name isn’t Jovanna and I am not from New York. My name is Marquita and I am from Memphis. I’ve been running from my past because I didn’t want you guys to think any less of me.”

  “Why would we think less of you? We love you Jovanna.” Santana said as she held my hand.

  “Or should we call you Marquita.” Asteria joked.

  “The guy who shot me and stabbed Justin, his name was Chad and he was my pimp. My parents were addicted more to crack than they were to me so I ran away at the age of sixteen. I began working at a strip club until I met Chad. He treated me better than my parents ever did and I fell in love with him. Soon I began turning tricks for him.”

  “Ten years ago I stole over ten-thousand dollars from him and he was back to collect his money and to take my life.” The tears were flowing so fast that I couldn’t blink them away they hit the table forming a small puddle. “I didn’t lose my engagement ring; I pawned it and maxed out my credit cards in order to pay him back. But for Chad it was never about the money, he wanted revenge because I ruined his life and now he ruined mine. I thought that I could run and hide from my past, but you can’t run from who you truly are. I was, am and will always be a prostitute named Marquita.”

  “Wow.” Asteria breathed, “And I thought that I was having a bad week.”

  Santana rolled her eyes, “Honey I know who you are, you are a sweet, caring, loving and giving person who never harmed anyone. You are my friend and I only know you as Jovanna so that is who you will always be in my eyes.”

  “I love you Jovanna; I don’t know that Marquita girl.” Asteria said.

  “I know that I may seem to be making light of this, but I am glad that you told us because we didn’t know what was going on with you. Hell, I thought you have some mob ties or something. I accept you for who you are, you are like my sister and I will never judge you based off of what you did in the past.”

  “Does Justin know?” Santana asked.

  “No, I don’t know how to tell him.”

  “Just like you told us, just do it.”

  “What if he leaves?” I cried, “I love him so much that I couldn’t take it if he left me.”

  “And if he leaves you will know that he was not in it for better or for worse honey.” She answered.

  “If he leaves then we will be right here with you, wiping another puddle of tears off of the table. That is what friends are for.” Asteria said as she wiped away the puddle of tears.

  “Thank you for understanding and being here for me.” I smiled as I wiped my eyes.

  “No problem, we love you girl.” Asteria said as they reached over and hugged me.

  The waitress came over and took our orders, strangely none of us felt like eating much. Sitting in silence for a moment, Santana let out a deep sigh.

  “I guess I will go next.” She said, “I have been keeping a secret as well. Mike and I have been together since we were in high school but lately things between us have been very strained. I’ve been feeling trapped and I was looking for a way out. Mike and the kids were suffocating me and I know that you guys have been wondering about my relationship with Tabitha, being with her breathed new life inside of me. I was having an affair with Tabitha and that affair cost me not only my relationship with my husband, but it also cost me my job.”

  My jaw hit my plate, “You have been sleeping with your assistant Santana?”

  “I never intended for it to go this far, but I guess that the excitement of it got me in over my head.”

  “I told you that there was something that I didn’t like about that heifer!” Asteria shot. “Does Mike know?”

  Tears formed in Santana’s already swollen eyes, “He found out as he was moving back in. Mike said that he wants a divorce as soon as possible.”

  I held my friend as she balled into her pancake breakfast. “I am sorry to hear that.”

  “He isn’t willing to try to work it out for the sake of the children?” Asteria asked.

  She cried harder, “No, he hates homosexuality and once he makes up his mind about something that is generally the end of it.” She blew her nose on a napkin, “I can’t believe that I got myself into this mess at my age.”

  Asteria said, “You may not have Mike, but you will always have us Santana. If you need anything or just a shoulder to cry on, we are here. I know that you and I don’t always see eye-to-eye on things, but I love you like a sister and I will never turn my back on you.”

  “Thank you Asteria that means a lot.”

  Asteria broke down and cried, “It is funny how I talk about friendship and sisterhood, when in fact I am not much of a friend or a good sister.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “For the last three years I have been having an affair with a married man, an affair resulted in Latif.” Asteria took a gulp of her orange juice, “I have been sleeping with Keith.”

  I dropped my fork in the sticky syrup, “Pandia’s husband Keith?”

  Santana shook her head, “No, please tell me that you haven’t been sleeping with your sister’s husband Asteria.”

  “I never meant for it to happen, it just came about and I couldn’t stop it. Keith had a hold on me and I was in love with him. He kept promising me that he was going to leave my sister and that we were going to move to Seattle to begin a new life; and I was foolish enough to believe the bastard. I ended things with him after I met Eric and I was prepared to keep my secret hidden, but it was too late.”

  “Pandia found out?”

  “Yes; when she confronted me at the salon I couldn’t even defend myself. That is my sister and I love her more than anything, but I am such a bad person that I allowed a man to come in between us like that.”

  “Damn I knew that Keith was a dog, but I didn’t know that he was that foul.” Santana said, “I am quite sure that Pandia will forgive you eventually.”

  “Would you forgive me?” I asked my freckle-faced friend, “Would you forgive your twin sister if she not only fucked your man, but also had a child by him? I know that I wouldn’t.” Asteria questioned, “All of the while I’m sitting there listening to her cry about how he didn’t come home until five in the morning or how he smelled of perfume when all of the while he was with me.” She reflected, “How forgivable is that?”

  “Don’t beat yourself up about this; Keith is also to blame.” I tried to console my friend.

  “Keith is not Pandia’s sister, I am!” she emitted, “And now I have to live with this for the rest of my life.” She cried.

  “Talk to her.” Santana suggested, “I am sure that you can work this out.”

  “There is no talking to her right now.” Asteria looked through her purse taking out a wad of money then tossing it on the table in front of us, “I am going to sell my half of the salon and move.”

  “Running away is not going to solve the problem.”

  “No, but at least I won’t have to look in the face of the person whom I betrayed every day.” She put on her coat, “I have to go, but thanks for listening.”

  Santana and I sat and watched in awe as Asteria made a quick exit from the restaurant and we didn’t utter a word.

  44

  Asteria

  Pandia didn’t answer any of the fifty plus calls and text messages that I sent to her; I even tried calling Keith’s phone, but he just hit the ignore button. I waited
until the salon was empty and I moved all of my belongings out of the salon. I hated leaving Gods and Goddesses, but after what I did I couldn’t imagine staying. I had not told Eric about my plans to move back to Phoenix and as much as I hated to play him like this I didn’t deserve a good man like him.

  “It looks like it is just going to be you and me little guy.” I told Latif as we played with his toys on the floor of his bedroom. “I promise that I will never hurt you.”

  There was a knock at the door, and to my surprise it was Pandia and little Keith.

  “Are you going to invite me in?” she hissed as she held her son on one hip.

  Moving out of her way I let her into the warm house.

  “We are not going to stay long, I just wanted little Keith to come by and play with his brother.” I could tell that it hurt her to acknowledge my son as her son’s brother.

  “That is fine.” I said without looking her in the eyes. “Would you like something to eat or drink?” I asked.

  She shook her head no while looking around my house as if she were looking for something, “It is hard for me to even be here, wondering which couch, chair or floor that you fucked my husband on.” She said. “How could you?”

  “I don’t know it just happened.”

  “NO! You don’t get off that easily Asteria!” she yelled. “All of your life you have been taking the easy way out to everything, but not this time. This time you are going to explain to me how it is that you could work with me every day, how you could sit there and listen to me cry my eyes out about my husband and yet know that you were the one fucking him! How could you?”

  “I loved him Pandia! I fell in love with Keith. He made so many promises…”

  Throwing her hands up she said, “He is always making promises Asteria! That is how he operates. Keith is a man who will tell you anything that you want to hear just to get what he wants from you. Did you really think that he would leave me?”

  “He said that he would and that we were moving to Seattle to start over. I believed him.”

  “So you would be willing to take my son’s father away from him? You loved this man so much that you would do this to me?”

  “At the time yes, but then I began to feel bad about it and I didn’t want to be with him any longer.”

  “When did that happen; after you finally met someone of your own? Or was it after I stopped crying over him and started paying attention to shit? It is hard for me to believe that after three years you grew a damn conscious?”

  “I saw all of the hurt in your eyes and then when he started sleeping with Keisha I knew that Keith would never leave and that he was just playing games. I tried breaking things off with him Pandia, but he kept coming at me.”

  “You shouldn’t have ever slept with my husband to begin with.” She muffed me in my face sending my head snapping back. “I hate you so much right now. You or your bastard son will never be welcome in my house again.” She spat. “Don’t ever call me again; as far as I’m concerned you do not exist.”

  Tears stung my eyes as I tried to control my emotions, “I am your sister Pandia. I never meant to hurt you or little Keith.”

  “You hurt me and you saw that hurt almost every day! You and that trifling husband of mine sat up laughing in my face knowing all of the while the secret that the two of you shared. It was one thing finding out that Keith was sleeping with Keisha, but to find out that he was sleeping with my own damn sister was something totally different.” She said, “I trusted you more than I trusted him and I loved you more than I loved him. If I ever see you in the salon, I might stab you with a pair of shears.” She seethed through clinched teeth, “That is a promise sister.”

  “I feel as if you are putting all of the blame on me; what about Keith?” I cried. “He is the one that you married; he is the one that made a vow to be loyal to you.”

  Crossing her trembling arms across her chest my sister confessed, “I allow Keith to sleep around on me. After we got married my husband’s sexual appetite was more than I could handle so I told him that he could have sex with other women as long as it didn’t interfere with our relationship. At first it didn’t hurt as bad because he kept his affairs under control, only fucking other women every once in a while and not allowing them to affect our home. However, after I had little Keith his daddy began getting out of control and disrespectful towards me by not making it home and taking phone calls while we were together.”

  “Why would you allow him to cheat on you Pandia?”

  “I thought that it would help!” she said with tears bucketing down her face, “I thought that if I allowed him to be a man and sow his oats every once in a while that it would bring us closer and that he would love me, but I was wrong. I thought that I would be able to handle the fact that my husband slept with other women, but I was wrong. It hurt Asteria.”

  My natural reaction was to reach out and hold my crying sister, but I knew better.

  “It hurts when your husband doesn’t understand why you don’t want to have sex with him. It hurts when your husband puts his needs above your own. It hurts when your husband comes home with the stench of another woman’s foul pussy on his face because he doesn’t have the respect enough to wash himself after he fucks someone else! And it hurts to know that this was all my fault; had I’d never told Keith that he could have sex with other women this would not have happened.”

  I never felt sorrier for my sister than I did at that moment, but as much pain that she felt and as much as Keith has hurt her, I knew that she wouldn’t leave him. “Pandia, maybe you and Keith should look into marital counseling to discuss the things that are going on in your relationship.”

  “Don’t worry about my marriage; you need to worry about getting and keeping Latif a father in his life because Keith will never acknowledge him again.” She fumed as she put her son’s coat back on him.

  “I am sorry for the pain that I caused you, I love you and I never meant to hurt you. This was not about you, it was about me. I was being selfish and I wanted to all, but the price that I paid was the cost of a relationship with my sister and for that I regret what I did. But remember Pandia, while you have every right to be pissed off at me, but keeping me and my son out of your life will not solve our marital problems. Keith is the issue and until he respects you and remains loyal to his marriage vows you will continue to have this problem. I was not the first one that Keith fucked and I guarantee that I won’t be the last one.”

  “Have a nice, lonely life Asteria.” Pandia said as she and her legitimate son walked out of my house.

  45

  Santana

  I never knew the meaning to all cried out until the day Mike left me for good. Tabitha knew what she was doing all along; she got Keith’s cell phone number out of my phone one night while I was sleeping. She went to Mr. Gold about our affair and told him that I was mistreating her after she ended things between the two of us to focus on her career with Gold’s Medical Supply. After I demanded my credit card back she simultaneously sent the video to both Keith and I. I begged him to stay telling him that we could make our marriage work, but he wouldn’t hear any of it. I kept replaying our last conversation in my head over and over again.

  “We have built a life together let’s not allow this one thing tear it all apart.” I begged as he tossed his items in a packing box.

  “I can’t continue to sleep next to a wife who prefers the sexual gratification from another woman.”

  “I am sorry; I don’t know why I did it…”

  “If you can’t figure out why you did it then how can you promise me that it is still not in you? How can you promise me that this will never happen again? How can you make the promise to me that every time a pretty woman walks by us you won’t feel something deep down inside of you? PROMISE ME THAT!” Mike yelled in my face. Mike had never raised his voice at me, he was not raised that way, but this was something different.

  “You don’t understand,” I cried, “I was lonely
and confused. You would come home and ignore me night after night!”

  “Why didn’t you ever say anything to me about it?”

  “I did Mike, but you don’t listen.”

  “Then as my wife it is your job to make me listen not to start sleeping with a woman!” He turned his back to me so I wouldn’t see the tears forming in his eyes.

  “I tried.”

  “You didn’t try, you ran.” He sniffed “I love you with everything that God has given me to love with, but you betrayed me Santana. We have been together for so long, you have given me two beautiful children and I was a happy man. I didn’t know how you were feeling, I guess that I didn’t pay enough attention to you, but I never ran to the arms of another woman. I wouldn’t have done you like that. I cannot lie next to you and pretend that this didn’t happen because the pain is too much. I am sorry, but I am filing for a divorce in the morning.” He put then he walked out of our bedroom wiping the tears from his eyes.

  There was no more talking that I could do because Mike would never change his mind. I cannot believe that I allowed myself to be drawn into this world by Tabitha, but I cannot even blame her, it was my own fault.

  46

  Jovanna

  Justin’s mother was gone by the time I’d made it back home that afternoon. He was lying on the couch trying to watch television, but his wound made lying down on the stiff couch impossible.

  “Hey.” I smiled.

  “Hey.” He winced.

  Walking over to him I knew what I had to do. “Come on let’s get to bed honey, you will be more comfortable in there and you can watch a movie on my laptop.” I offered as I helped my helpless fiancé off of the couch.

  “Baby I am sorry about my mother, but you know how she can be.” He said when I got him into bed.

  “When was the last time that you had something for pain?” I asked him ignoring his last statement.

  “This morning, mom gave me some Percocet.”