by Amy Field
When she reached home, Jaime was waiting for her and she saw that Maria was smiling for the first time after the wedding. As Jaime continued to watch, she burst out laughing.
“What happened?” Jaime asked awed.
“Nothing,” Maria grinned.
It hadn’t been so bad after all.
“It was as I suspected,” the doctor put down his glasses and looked at Maria.
Maria waited for him to continue. It was three days after her checkup and her blood tests had been processed. She had come to hear the consensus from the doctor and she wasn’t liking the look in his eyes.
“Miss Adams, you are pregnant.”
“I am sorry?” Maria did a double take.
“It’s been almost nine weeks by the looks of it. Haven’t you noticed any symptoms?”
Maria was going to say she hadn’t when she thought back to all the weeks. She should have seen it earlier, she had been so busy with wedding preparations that she had forgotten all about her monthly cycle. Everything fit now but the thing that horrified her the most was that she was pregnant by the man who had broken off their wedding.
“I can see from the look on your face that this isn’t great news,” the doctor said sympathetically. “Is there anything you would like me to do?”
He was talking about an abortion, Maria was sure of it but she was also sure that she wasn’t the type of person to consent to killing a baby. Regardless of the circumstance, this was her baby as much as Matt’s. She was going to keep it and raise it with all the love that Matt had forgotten to give her. She wouldn’t shirk her responsibilities.
Even then, she couldn’t help but think of the uncertainty of her future. Exactly what else did the future hold for her?
Chapter Three
“You are going to be alright?” Jaime asked worriedly.
Maria nodded and wiped her forehead. She looked around the apartment with a sense of satisfaction. It wasn’t as great as her old apartment but it was decent, it had two bedrooms and one fully furnished kitchen. All the things she had bought were littered around the ground, still in their boxes. She and Jaime had been clearing everything out from the boxes from the last hour and she was tired.
Maria sat down on the ground and leaned against the counter. Jaime sat down beside her and held her hand.
“How’s the kid doing?”
Maria rubbed her bump.
“I think the baby’s doing good.”
It had been more than 12 weeks. Maria had to take some time so that she could get everything in order before she left Jaime’s apartment. She had gone back to work but she hadn’t told them that she was pregnant yet. The bump was so small that it was easy to hide. Her morning sickness had lessened and she had started eating again, gaining back some much needed weight. Her cheeks glowed with health and she knew it was because of the baby.
During the last few weeks, the sadness inside her had lessened and she felt that she was breaking through it. The dark clouds had moved away and a thin stream of sunlight had broken through. Life mattered and it was all because of the baby. Raising the baby was her priority.
“What about you? You still…?” Jaime left her words trailing and Maria took a while before she answered.
“I am fine. I don’t worry about him anymore.” Maria said carefully.
“I am glad to hear that,” Jaime said relieved.
“I don’t want to work anymore.” Maria laughed.
“Neither do I.”
“I think I’ll survive for a few days. You could go back home.”
Jaime had been staying over with her for the last week as she moved into the apartment. Maria knew that Jaime was still worried about her, which was natural but Maria also knew that she had to learn how to take care of herself and she couldn’t do that with Jaime molly coddling her. It was time to accept her new life as a single mother.
“Are you hungry?” Jaime asked.
It was lunch time by then but Maria shook her head. She didn’t feel like eating anything at the moment.
“I’ll eat something later,” Maria said.
“You have your appointment tomorrow right?” Jaime asked.
Maria nodded. It was the time to get her annual 12 week checkup done. Since she had learned she was pregnant, she had gone for ultra-sonograms every two weeks. The doctor had told her that she didn’t need to do that but she wanted to be sure that her baby was going to be alright. She didn’t want to be unprepared for anything.
“Are you going to learn the sex of the child?”
Maria shook her head. She was adamant that it remain a surprise but secretly she was scared that if it was a boy, she would resent him. A fear she harbored was that he would look exactly like Matt and she would take out her anger on the child and she didn’t want to do that. It was the last thing she would do.
There was something else bothering her. The dilemma had plagued her for a few days and she wondered if she should tell Matt about the baby. It was his as much as it was hers but she couldn’t make herself do it. How could she? What if he wanted to take care of the baby? What if he wanted to take her baby away? How could she let that happen? Her baby in the hands of her sister and her ex fiancé, no she wouldn’t bear it.
She shook away the thoughts and she stood up.
“I’ll cook today.”
She went into the kitchen and started to take out the things she would need to make something simple. Jaime followed her but sat down on the counter, watching her work. Maria began to feel self-conscious after a while so she turned and said,
“You are kind of creeping me out,”
“I am sorry but I was thinking about something,” Jaime said evasively.
“Is something wrong?”
Jaime shook her head and then opened her mouth. She struggled with herself for a few minutes before saying,
“Have you told your parents?”
Maria’s face darkened. She hadn’t renewed contact with her parents and she didn’t want to do so. Her parents would bring about another set of problems that she didn’t want to deal with. She knew at some point she would have to contact them but until then, she was content to not do anything. Clearly Jaime didn’t feel the same way.
“I think you have kept them in the dark long enough,” Jaime said.
“I don’t know how I would start that conversation.”
“Tell them the truth.”
“Yes, I should tell them that my sister ran off with my fiancé. That would be great,” Maria said sourly.
“I am sorry Maria but this is their grandkid, don’t you think they deserve to know?”
“I’ll tell them. At some point. Don’t worry about it.”
Jaime didn’t say anything after that and Maria was glad of it. She had enough problems on her plate already. She didn’t need anything extra.
The waiting room was almost empty today.
Maria had a cup of juice beside her and a few of her files from office. She had come directly after work so she had her bag with her. For some reason, it was taking a long time for the doctor to call her in. It was about seven then and she knew that it was late but it wouldn’t take this long just to see the doctor. She was getting impatient.
She drained the last of her juice and crushed the cup. Her body ached and she wished she could go home but she had to get the checkup done. For the third time, she went up to the nurse’s station but there was no one there. She was almost fuming when she went back to her seat. This was enough, maybe it was time to go home.
She picked up her things and went towards the exit when she heard a familiar voice.
“You! Wait!”
Maria turned around and saw the last persons he expected to see. The doctor that she had seen on that day, three weeks ago. He looked disheveled, seeming more human and he was running towards her. He stopped in front of her and she stared at him, suddenly feeling self-conscious. She was in her work clothes, a black suit pant and white shirt. The shirt was loose so her bump wasn�
��t noticeable and for some reason, she found herself hiding the bump from him.
“Can I help you?” Maria asked bewildered.
“I met you that day!” he stated.
Maria was taken aback, she hadn’t thought he would remember that day. She had put it out of her mind and when she found herself thinking of it, she always smiled. It had been kind of funny but she had never thought that she would see him again. Though he was in front of her right now and she didn’t know what to say.
“I guess,” Maria finally managed to say.
“I never got the chance to say this, I am really sorry about that day!”
“It’s fine,” Maria said.
He seemed very overactive to her. Maria didn’t know how to handle it.
“It really was my fault, I should have asked your name instead of asking you to…” his cheeks reddened slightly and she found herself thinking about how endearing it was. She shook away the thoughts and waited for him to go on.
“Are you having another check-up?” he asked her.
“I am actually going home.” Maria said quickly.
“Please let me buy you something as an apology.”
“You don’t need to…” she said helplessly.
“I insist.” His eyes bore into hers and she found herself unable to say no.
She didn’t say anything and quietly followed him to the cafeteria. He didn’t say anything until they were in the elevator.
“I didn’t introduce myself did I?” he said. “My name is Ryan, Ryan Stressor.”
“I am Maria Adams.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” he said pleasantly.
Maria decided that she liked his smile. It was soothing and it made her want to smile. They exited the elevator and headed for a table. The cafeteria was empty and she found the silence disconcerting. He waited until she had sat down before heading for the counter. He came back a few minutes later with a tray full of food.
“You shouldn’t have,” she said.
“It’s the least I could do.”
Maria looked at the items on the tray, she was feeling hungry all of a sudden and so she picked up the pizza and took a bite. It didn’t repel her and she took a larger bite. Ryan smiled as he watched her eat and helped himself to a piece of the pizza himself. There was silence between them but Maria didn’t think it was awkward.
“Did you get your check up done that day?” Ryan asked.
Maria swallowed.
“I did, it was nothing, just a normal checkup,” she lied.
Ryan nodded, not suspecting a thing. She wasn’t feeling very happy about lying to him but she wasn’t going to tell a stranger that she was pregnant. That would be weird.
“I didn’t mean to be so rough on you. I had a busy day and I should have checked the file and the picture in it better.”
“You have to stop apologizing, it’s strange.”
“I can’t help it, I have always been like that.”
“What’s your specialty?” she asked curious.
“I am in the orthopedics division,” he said. “Bone division,” he added when he saw the blank look on her face.
“Ah, is that exciting?”
“It’s something. Exciting isn’t the word I would use to describe it.” Ryan said laughing. “Did you come from work?”
Maria nodded and she talked about her work. He seemed interested and after a few seconds, she was completely at ease with him. He was nice and handsome and something about him made her feel different. She couldn’t quite put her finger to it but she liked it. She didn’t realize how quickly time had passed until she saw that the tray was empty and that it was close to nine.
“It’s getting late,” Maria said.
“Oh, I didn’t notice. Sorry, I was getting off work too when I saw you,” Ryan explained.
“Well, I should go home. I am a bit tired,” Maria said.
“I’ll see you out.”
“You don’t have to.”
“It’s the least I could do. I feel lighter now, after having apologized to you. I kept thinking about it for a few days.”
“Me too but I found it funny afterwards,” she said giggling.
“At least I made you smile.”
They joked until they arrived at the hospital entrance. Maria was suddenly reluctant to go but she knew that she had to. She had work the next day and while it was nice taking some time off to talk to someone else, reality was waiting for her. It was unlikely that she would ever see him again and the baby was waiting for her.
“I’ll see you around,” Ryan said as goodbye.
She nodded and waved as she began to head for the bus station. She doubted it but somehow she wished that she would meet him again. Ryan was someone different.
Chapter Four
Five months later…
Maria walked slowly, careful to balance the files that she held on her hands. It was hard navigating her way through the office with the files on her hand but she was getting through it. The thing that made it tough was the heaviness weighing her down, especially around her midriff. She stumbled and a file slipped from the pile.
She cursed and was about to bent down when a co-worker picked it up for her and then took all the files.
“I’ll deliver them, you go to your office,” he said smiling.
Maria looked at him gratefully and she waddled back to her office, collapsing on her chair. Her feet hurt and her hips ached from the weight of the baby. She was just past six months but her stomach had swelled up quickly. She couldn’t figure out how the time had gone by.
She rested her head against the headrest and almost fell asleep. It was a good thing no one judged her around the office. She had been scared of that, when she had first come back to the office but they hadn’t batted an eye. They had gone out of their way to help her and even offered her three months maternity leave. Of course, there were whispers sometimes but she found it easy to ignore them when she had so many supporters with her.
Her biggest supporter was still Jaime, who went out of her way to help her out. Just the day before, Jaime had bought a crib for her child which had warmed Maria’s heart. She couldn’t believe that she had such a good best friend.
Still, Jaime couldn’t completely assuage the sadness in Maria’s heart. Sometimes at night, Maria would lie down and think about Matt. The pain was still the same as ever but she fancied that it had lessened somehow. The baby was helping her stay afloat.
She felt a sudden pressure around and her stomach and rubbed it gently. It happened sometimes and she wasn’t worried. The baby was probably moving around so it wasn’t that big of a deal. She looked at the clock on her table and saw that it was six, it was time for her to go home.
She packed up her things, said goodbye to her colleagues and went on her way. It was a long walk from her office to the bus station and Maria had to bear through it. She had save money for her child and she was ready to bear any consequences that came with it. Today, she was especially tired, her feet were dragging but she somehow managed to make it to the station and to her apartment.
The apartment had come together during the months, it now had a furnished living room and kitchen. Her bedroom was complete but the other bedroom was bare. Maria was planning on letting her baby be in the crib in her bedroom. She set down her bag on the couch and sat down for a moment, relieving the tension from her body. She had a hard day and she was looking forward to sleeping but she had to eat first.
From the time that she learned she was pregnant, Maria had taken the effort to eat properly. Before, she had been the type of person to snatch something on the go and leave but she was taking care of someone else now and she wasn’t going to let her bad habits affect her baby. She had taken to drinking a glass of milk every day and keep lean meat in her diet.
Tonight, she had a salad prepared for herself and she ate it slowly, her tired limbs taking a while to work. Maria didn’t know why she was so tired but she figured a good night’s sleep woul
d help her. After she was done, she went to bed. She lay down and her eyes closed, tomorrow was going to be a good day.
Matt was with Celia and they were enjoying themselves. They were in Naples where the two of them were supposed to go and they had the widest smile on their face.
“I am so much better than Maria,” Celia said.
“Of course you are.”
She didn’t want to see this and Maria broke out of her dream, breathing rapidly. It had been the worst possible thing to see and in her state too. She didn’t want Matt back but the pain of him leaving her still lingered in her. She wished that it would go away so that she didn’t have to suffer anymore but it wouldn’t leave her. She hated that.
Maria wiped the sweat from her forehead and was going to go back to sleep when she felt the sheets stick to her legs. She hadn’t sweated too much and there was pain in her back that suddenly flared up. For a second, Maria was scared that her water had broken, she wasn’t ready! But when she drew back the sheets, she was horrified.
Bright red stains had spread on her bed sheet and the sight of them made her dry heave. She was suddenly faint. She was bleeding. She had to do something. Her baby was in trouble!
Maria reached for her cell and her fingers moved rapidly, calling emergency.
“Hello? Yes please send an ambulance! My baby is dying!”
The ambulance arrived in ten minutes by which time Maria had stopped bleeding but her legs were shaking. She somehow managed to open the door before collapsing in the arms of the paramedic who helped her into a stretched. Pain had spread around her midriff by then and Maria was praying that her baby would be alright.
She didn’t realize when they had reached the hospital, only that there were suddenly bright lights and she was being wheeled to the emergency room. She didn’t see anything, she only heard random voices around her.