J.O.Y

by Yalu Taylors

  “So, what else can you do Babe?” Zayne asks softly.

  “I only have visions. Why do you guys all have more abilities?” I ask the room curiously.

  “Maybe they only messed with your brain a little bit. Oh, or maybe you will get more later on.” Zack smiles reassuringly at me.

  “Maybe you just haven’t had to use whatever powers you have yet.” Hunter says. My stomach grumbles loudly and all the guys laugh except for Hunter.

  “When was the last time you ate Tessandra?” he sounds angry, so I just shrug my shoulders, not wanting to admit I haven’t eaten since lunch at school yesterday.

  “Zack, order some pizza’s. There’s some money in my bag in T’s car.” Hunter scoops me up from between the twins and sits down with me on his lap. Holding me tightly he whispers in my ear.

  “You can’t do that T. You have to eat. Just ask us next time and we’ll help you.” I toss my keys to Zack and snuggle into Hunter.

  After the pizza arrives the guys all gather in a circle on the floor. The pizza boxes open in the middle. Braydon pulls me down between him and Zayne. He passes me a slice and I devour it in seconds. Before I even finish swallowing the last bite, another piece is placed into my hands. After four slices, I decline any more. Hunter smiles at me, a piece of pineapple stuck between his front teeth has me laughing at him. Braydon notices and falls backwards laughing as well. Between out bursts of laughter, I tell Hunter what is so funny, and his cheeks turn the cutest shade of pink.

  “Awe Hunter you’re so beautiful when you blush.” He grunts at me as he goes into the bathroom after a few seconds of silence we hear him mumble.

  “Guys aren’t beautiful.” His words have us all rolling on the floor in laughter. He comes rushing out of the bathroom, no more pineapple in his teeth and begins tickling me again. Soon I’m begging him to stop and we all sober up.

  After we clean up, Hunter grabs my hand and asks, “Will you come back to our place with us? Please?” I begin shaking my head and he continues begging, “I’ll let you call me beautiful twice a day without repercussions.” I laugh at his attempt at bribery.

  “No. I can’t keep imposing on you guys.” I hang my head suddenly feeling very ashamed of all I have put them through without meaning to.

  “Please Babe. I don’t think I could sleep, knowing you are all the way out here by yourself.” The other three guys all agree with Zayne’s words and I feel myself caving.

  “All right but I’m not sleeping on that horrible sofa again.” I look up through my lashes shyly. I want to stay with one of them, but I don’t really know how to ask.

  “You can stay in my room with me.” Hunter pipes up excitedly.

  “No! She can stay in my room with us. We’ll keep you safe.” Zack states. Braydon shakes his head in exasperation.

  “You, young lady are really good at causing trouble.” Braydon's mock bossy tone has a laugh bubbling up from me.

  “Come on, I’ll ride with you in your car while these three argue some more over a choice that’s yours to make.” He grabs my hand and my overnight bag before exiting the room. After putting the bag in the boot of my Shelby he leads me over to the reception office.

  “We’ll get you a refund, so you haven’t wasted all your money on a place you won’t be staying at.” After a few minutes of arguing with the receptionist he manages to get all the money except one night’s stay. We jump in my car and head to the guys place.

  As we pull up in front of the garage, I see Hunter parking Braydon’s Escalade in the carport. Braydon rushes around to open my door and I look up at him.

  “Can I just sleep with you tonight?” I go scarlet when I realize how wrong that sounded. “I mean, can I sleep in your room, with you. Ugh that didn’t come out any better.”

  Braydon laughs and after a moment he says, “I knew what you meant Tessie. Don’t worry, I’ll be a perfect gentleman. I promise.” He smiles down at me as he holds his hand out to help me from the car. His eyes twinkling with mischief as he says, “I’m going to tell them you asked to sleep with me.” He drops my hand and runs over to the guys.

  “No! Don’t you dare.” I shout as I run after him.

  Hunter spins around as we run up to them, “She wants to sleep with me tonight.” The way Braydon says it has my face burning again.

  “Hey, no going against the deal remember.” Hunter sounds serious and I frown. Braydon takes off to get the bags out of my car without a word. I’m standing there staring after him for a few moments trying to figure out what deal they were talking about? “Come on T, let’s get you inside out of this freezing wind.” With his warm arm across my shoulders he leads me into the house. After a quick shower and several goodnight hugs from the others I find myself sitting in the dark, on the edge of the bed with Braydon. I'm nervously twisting my hands together when he speaks into the silence. “Come on Tessie. Let’s get some sleep.” He pulls me down until I'm lying cradled in his arms, on my side facing the closed door. His breath tickles the back of my neck as he whispers into the darkness.

  “Sweet dreams my gorgeous Tessie.” My heart flutters at his sweet words, snuggling in closer, I wriggle until our bodies are pressed so close together that there’s no space between us.

  “Tessie.” He growls into my hair, a warning evident in his voice. My breath hitches in my throat as I feel Braydon rock his hips against my backside. Holy fuck! My whole body goes stiff and he pulls away from me. “Sorry.” I mumble as he rolls onto his back behind me. He pulls me back, so I’m pressed against his side. With thoughts of his reaction running through my mind I struggle to fall asleep but after a little while my eyes grow heavy and I close them.

  I wake up facing Braydon, his eyes are still closed, his expression relaxed and peaceful. I notice a faint stubble on his cheeks, lifting my hand I gently trace it along the rough hair. He smiles in his sleep and I trail my fingers along his plump lips. They are so soft I’m tempted to see what they would feel like pressed against my own. “That tickles.” I jerk my hand away, blushing a deep red.

  Braydon lifts his hand to my face and mimics my movements, outlining the shape of my mouth. Shivers run through my entire body and a soft moan escapes me. He props himself up on his elbow and leans towards me, my eyes remain on his lips. My whole being is aching with anticipation for his kiss. I reach my hand up to the back of his neck and gently pull him closer. His breath ghosting over my lips as he hovers just out of reach. Braydon groans softly, low in his throat. All that exists in this moment is Braydon, I can feel his chest heaving against my own. He closes the last of the distance, his lips barely grazing mine when the door slams open. “Rise and shine, sleeping beaut…” hunter’s voice trails off as Braydon and I jerk apart.

  Hunter’s jaw clenches as he looks at Braydon, His hand lifts to his hair in a jerking motion, he flicks his fringe back before turning around and slamming the door shut as he leaves. I jump from the bed and run into the bathroom. Shaking from head to toe, I lean against the wash basin. After splashing cold water on my face, I return to find the room now empty and shouting coming from down stairs. I race down the stairs worried at what I’ll find. Braydon is leaning against the breakfast bar while the twins yell at him about not crossing the line.

  I hear the front door open and close and assume it’s Hunter, so I change my direction and head out the door after Hunter. I find him leaning against the railing of the veranda, just like in my drawing, he’s holding something in his hands. I take a step closer and he looks right at me. His face is blank as he watches me get closer. Stepping up beside him, I turn so my back is against the railing. “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah, sorry I barged in like that, it won’t happen again.” His voice is flat, almost emotionless. He pushes off from the railing and walks back towards the front door. “I guess you made your choice, huh?” I stand there for a while trying to figure out if I really did make a choice. I like Braydon, but I also like Hunter and the twins. I don’t think I could choose between
them even if I wanted to. I shake my head and slowly walk back inside.

  I peek in the lounge room and see Hunter sitting alone on the couch, watching a zombie movie. I cross over to the kitchen and find Braydon cooking at the stove. I walk up the stairs and spot the twins quietly talking, inside a bedroom with the door open, I peek inside and notice a twin bed with black sheets and comforter, the curtains are blood-red, and the furniture is minimal. I keep walking until I’m at Braydon’s room. I grab my clothes and get dressed for school. As I’m walking into the hallway I hear Braydon call out that breakfast is ready. Walking into the kitchen takes more effort than it should but I’m ashamed of my actions this morning. I avoid all eye contact as I sit down between the twins. Braydon places a plate of pancakes in front of me and I pick at the food until everyone else is finished.

  We all walk to the door in silence, our school bags slung over our shoulders. After unlocking my car, I get in and shut the door. I don’t bother waiting for anyone to join me today, instead I start the engine and pull out of the driveway. As I look in the rear-view mirror I see them all watching my car drive away. I get to school and park in the same parking spot behind the big oak. I know I should wait for them, but I really don’t want to talk to anyone until I figure out my own feelings.

  I wander around the hallways of the school, losing myself in the crowd while waiting for the bell to ring. Someone bumps into my shoulder but for once I have no snappy comment, I just keep walking. I reach my art class and turn back around. I really don’t want to be here today. My grades are good enough that missing a day won’t matter much. I walk quickly to the rear exit near the gym and circle around to my car. As I get there I see the guys walking towards the front doors. I wait until they disappear inside and run to my car.

  I drive around for a while and find myself parking next to a trail in the national park. A walk to clear my head is a great idea, I think to myself as I get out of the car. I lean back into the car and grab my water bottle from the center consol. After locking the doors, I tuck my phone and keys into my pockets. The trail is beautiful, wild flowers are in bloom and the trees are swaying gently in the light breeze, causing a soft whooshing sound. I make good time getting from the car to the bench seat at the top of the lookout. Sitting down I stare off into the distance.

  Maybe I should be drawing a line on their affections. Or maybe I should just stay the hell away from them. I know they were close before I came along and ruined things. The horizon blurs as I blink away my tears, I swipe my hands across my cheeks, willing them to stop. They don’t stop though; my breathing becomes erratic and I struggle to draw a full breath. A harsh sound chokes in my throat, leaving me gasping for air. I bend at the waist, as my heart breaks so too does my reality. All I feel is the pain and all I see is the darkness behind my eyelids. I’ve made so many mistakes in my past, but this is the first one I’ve truly regretted. The guys have become so much more to me than just friends. In the brief time I’ve known them, they became my family. I truly feel I cannot live without them.

  I’m so lost within my misery I don’t hear him at first. Hunter lifts me into his arms, I know it’s him because his woodsy cologne brings me to my senses. “I’m sorry T. I should never have talked to you like that.” He holds me tight against his chest, I can’t bring myself to push him away, being without them all hurts too much. I wrap my arms around his neck and burrow my head into his neck. “Let’s get you home, Tessa.” Hunter’s deep voice is soothing to my aching heart, I mumble the words I want him to hear.

  “I didn’t choose. I can’t choose.”

  “I know Tessa, I know.”

  I must have fallen asleep somewhere between Hunter carrying me and the car because I don’t even remember getting into the car. I woke up in Hunter’s bed, so I must have been really out of it. The sun is sinking below the trees as I look out the window. I’m curious where the guys are but I’m embarrassed that they saw me at my lowest. After a few more moments indulging in my self-pity, I put on my take on the world face and march downstairs.

  The guys are all gathered in the lounge room talking quietly. I hesitate before taking that last step across the threshold. They haven't noticed my presence yet, so I pause to admire what could be my last view of them all together. Hunter's posture shows his somber mood. Braydon's monotone voice speaks volumes. I'm not listening to what they are saying, just observing. Zayne and Zack mirror each other's stance as they lean against the back of the couch facing Braydon. I can see the tension in the room, not one of them is looking another in the eye. I'm really not sure how to fix this but I have to at least try. I take the step across the threshold, the loose floorboard alerting the guys to my presence.

  “I.” The words stick in my throat, so I clear it then try again. “I didn't choose. Not because I don't want to, it's because I can't. I like you all, maybe a little more than I should but if you all agree then I think we should set some ground rules, to prevent anything like this from happening again.”

  My legs shake as I move further into the room, positioning myself so I can see them all clearly. Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I continue. “No romantic overtures of any kind.” They all begin to protest but I hold my hand up and wait for them to calm down. “I'm sorry, but we need to just be friends. I love our hugs and even when you hold my hands, but it can't go any further than that. Please, if you all want me to stick around, you'll agree to my terms.”

  Hunter jumps to his feet, annoyance written all over his face. “What do you mean, if we want you to stick around? You can't leave us. Not after all we went through to find you.” His voice breaks as he says the last words, he turns from me, trying to hide his tears.

  “If you all agree to my terms then I promise I'll stay but I can't be the person who tears your family apart.”

  Zack and Zayne step around the couch and come closer to me, their expressions identical. “We would rather have you in our lives as a friend that not at all.” Their complimenting voices make their words sound like a song, one that may one day break my heart.

  “I agree with the twins, I’ll follow your rules, so long as we talk about things openly, no more secrets between us all.” Braydon tries to smile but I can hear in his voice that he’s not happy with the way things are. I turn to Hunter but he refuses to meet my eyes.

  “You could just date us all, it would solve the whole problem, we’ll just work on not being jealous of each other.” Hunter’s idea has merit, but I just can’t be that selfish. It wouldn’t be fair to them and it would be hard to split my time between them all.

  “You know I can’t be with all of you and I can’t choose just one because it would hurt everyone else. It’s one thing to joke about dating multiple people but being in a relationship with you all wouldn’t be fair to everyone. I’m sorry, I just can’t see how it would work.” I take a moment to let that sink in before I ask one last time. “Can you agree to my terms Hunter?” He starts to shake his head and my chest tightens, I was afraid this might happen. Hunter may be a big rough looking guy but inside he’s a soft-hearted teddy bear, he feels things deeper than most people. I understand him more than I do the others but if he can’t agree then I have to let them all go. I won’t be the reason they fight, and I won’t be forced to choose between them, I’d rather have none of them in my life than hurt them all.

  “No. I don’t want to be your friend.” His face is expressionless as he delivers the words that break my heart. Tears gather in the corner of my eyes as his words sink in. Slowly I nod my head, holding my breath, I turn and leave the room while Braydon and the twins begin once again arguing with Hunter. My chest feels like someone has squeezed it so tightly, I release my breath and feel the tears begin to fall. I had expected an argument or two, but I wasn’t expecting Hunter to say that.

  After quickly packing my belongings I carry them to the front door. I double back and see the empty lounge room. I wanted to say goodbye, but I guess I’ll just have to send a text later. Trudging to
my car I dare a glance back and sigh at what could have been. Friendships are harder with boys. I start the engine and put my seatbelt on, pulling the car out of the drive I stop at the road. Still none of the guys come out, I look up at the second story windows and see Hunter’s silhouette. He turns away and disappears, as he does, so too does my hope and happiness. “Goodbye.” I whisper.

  Chapter 7

  I don’t really have anywhere else to go so I drive to my adopted mother’s house. Shaking with fear as I open the door, I expected her to start screaming but she just looks up from her computer and says, “You’re home early. Free periods?” I nod my head at Tori's lack of maternal care and walk upstairs to my old room. Staring at the bare mattress, my tears fall again. A soft knock sounds on my door and I wipe my face quickly before opening the door. I look up and down the hall but there’s no one there. Turning to close the door again I look down and notice a bunch of flowers lying on the ground in front of my door. Frowning I pick them up and look for a note.

  I’m sorry for hurting you. Forgive me?

  I’m fairly certain the flowers are from Peter, so I toss them in the trash and lock my bedroom door.

  The doorbell rings and I jump as Tori yells that it's for me. With hope in my heart I race down the stairs expecting the guys to be waiting for me. I'm more than a little disappointed when my eyes fall on Shaun. “Hi.” I say the word more like a question, but he doesn't seem to notice.

  “Hey Tessa.” He looks nervously around at the closed kitchen door. Why is he here? I want to ask but I'm so emotionally drained I can't bring myself to be snarky. “I was um, in the neighborhood, thought you'd like to um, would you um.” What the fuck? His usually confident demeanor is gone. He hangs his head and fidgets with the hem of his shirt.