Pure Hearts

by Jeannine Allison

  “They showed me that love could also be subtle and private. Where my birth parents’ love was loud, passionate, and heartbreakingly real, my adoptive parents’ was soft, compassionate, and just as real. Both couples loved the only way they knew how. They made me see that there are all different kinds of love in this world.”

  Iris’s face dipped back down, her fingers softly swirling over my chest. “Sometimes I think my birth parents had to love that way. Like maybe, somehow, they knew their forever would be shorter than others, and they wanted to fit as much love in as they could.”

  We were both quiet for a minute, letting her words digest. When I looked down I saw her drawing hearts now. Iris chuckled, stopping her fingers and laying her palm over my heart.

  “I’m sorry, I’ll just get to the point. We’re both exhausted and I’m rambling—”

  “Hey, I’ll listen to your rambles any time you want.” I felt her smile as she kissed my chest.

  “Thank you. But I think I’m about to pass out from my rambles.”

  Squeezing her hip, I waited for her to continue. “So my point… my father did a horrible thing. He did it for the right reason, but it was still horrible. And he had one of the purest hearts I know. Colleen…” Iris hesitated when I froze. “She did a horrible thing for a selfish reason. I can’t say much because I didn’t know her. But maybe she did love you, just not in the way you needed.”

  My breathing regulated as she started ghosting her fingers along my skin again. “There are so many different ways to have a pure heart, Nick, just like there are vastly different ways to love a person. Maybe they don’t always line up with what we need, but I’d like to think that, deep down, most people are good.

  “And maybe if we stop searching for all the ways we’re different from other people, and start seeking out all the ways we’re the same, we’ll finally be able to see that.”

  My head rolled on the leather seat, a lazy grin on my face as I slowly woke up and looked toward Nick. He briefly glanced over at me, flashing me a smile—complete with dimples—before his gaze moved back to the road. My lips tipped up even more when he grabbed my hand and brought it to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

  The weekend of Kevin and Lindsay’s wedding was finally here. Nick told me it was going to be small, only their family and closest friends. Right now it was early Friday morning, and he was driving us up to the White Mountains of New Hampshire, where the wedding was taking place.

  I checked the time. We’d already been on the road for almost two of the three-hour drive from Boston.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled around a yawn. “I didn’t mean to leave you hanging with no one to talk to.”

  “No worries,” he responded easily, still holding my hand on his thigh. “Besides, you should be resting now. You’ll get absolutely none this weekend.” I laughed when his hand tightened around mine and he winked.

  Now fully awake, I leaned over the console and placed a kiss on his bearded cheek before whispering in his ear, “I’m looking forward to it.”

  I swore I heard him growl as I pulled away. And when he released my hand and gripped the steering wheel with both of his, I knew I’d succeeded in riling him up.

  “That was not cool.”

  Chuckling, I grabbed a blanket from the backseat before wrapping it around me. I shifted my body his way. “Why’d they pick a winter wedding?” I asked.

  Nick let out a breath. “Lindsay loves the snow. She grew up in the Southwest. Never had a white Christmas until she moved to Boston at the start of high school.” He shrugged. “But as a kid, since it was so foreign to her, she kind of associated snow with magic. When she got engaged it was kind of a no-brainer for her.”

  “Kevin didn’t mind?”

  Nick smirked, his eyes flicking to mine. “Lindsay could tell him to dress up as an elf, and he’d do it. That guy is stupid in love with her.”

  I smiled, thinking about my parents. “But that’s what it’s about, isn’t it?”

  “What?”

  “Love,” I said simply. “It isn’t the anniversaries or the flowers. It’s not about sex or kissing. It’s all the little things. It’s bringing him lunch when you know he’s too busy to go out and get something. Or holding her hand when she’s nervous about meeting his family. Love isn’t in big fancy weddings or huge romantic gestures. It’s in the simple things, like knowing how your boyfriend takes his coffee or what your girlfriend’s favorite movie is. It’s all the stuff no one else really thinks about.”

  I saw Nick swallow as my palms grew damp. I hadn’t meant to take the conversation in such a serious direction.

  “Have you ever felt that way?” he whispered.

  I’m feeling it now.

  “Not completely,” I hedged. I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to start this weekend by freaking him out. Aster never invited women to weddings because he said it gave them all sorts of fantastical ideas.

  Does Nick think that’s what I’m doing?

  “Iris?” he asked, breaking me out of my paranoid thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “Three months ago I wouldn’t have had a clue what you’re talking about. But now… it makes a lot of sense.”

  Our eyes met for the briefest of seconds as he looked away from the road. It was quick, but I saw everything I needed to. We both knew how the other felt; we didn’t need to say it. There were no freak-outs. Just contentment.

  I relaxed against my seat and brought my hand back to his thigh, gently massaging it as we continued in silence.

  An hour later we arrived, and my breath caught as we pulled up to a giant lodge covered in snow. It looked like it could’ve been splashed across a postcard—I sincerely hoped it was somewhere.

  “Wow.” My feet were firmly planted on the bed of the car as I leaned forward and looked up to the top of the building, basking in the fairy lights lining the roof.

  Nick parked the car and I heard him unbuckle his seat belt before his hand gently wrapped around my upper arm. I’d just fully turned my head when his mouth met mine and his other hand cupped the side of my face, holding me to him. His lips made gentle sweeps across mine before he traced the seam of my lips with his tongue. I immediately opened for him, and what started out sweet quickly turned hungry as he pulled me closer. My stomach was digging into the center console as his hands began wandering.

  One of mine sneaked toward him, settling on his lap. He groaned when I palmed him through his jeans. A moan of my own echoed through the car as I felt him grow hard.

  “BOO!”

  I jumped back, hitting my head on the roof as I looked out the windshield. Kevin was cackling with a few men I didn’t recognize. Nick rolled the window down.

  “What’s wrong with you, asshole?”

  Kevin smirked as he leaned in. “I’m pretty sure I paid for a fancy room for this kind of thing.” His wiggling eyebrows dropped when he saw me rubbing my head.

  “Shit. Are you okay, Iris?” he asked with a wince.

  I waved him away and leaned back over the console. “I’ll live. So how does it feel? Last night of freedom?”

  “Terrible. Lindsay’s mom and sisters are adamant I can’t see her. I thought the point of this shit was so I could see her all the time.” Nick rolled his eyes as Kevin’s other friends called for him at the front of the lodge.

  “I’d ask if you’re coming out with us tonight, but…” Kevin trailed off, snickering at the expression on my boyfriend’s face. Kevin and Lindsay already had combined bachelor and bachelorette parties in Boston last weekend.

  “Right. Well I’ll see you for all the fun and games tomorrow, Nick.” He dipped his head in my direction. “Iris. Sorry about the head. I’m sure Nick here will kiss… something and make it all better.”

  He was sprinting away—cackling—before Nick could react. But Nick was chuckling himself as he rolled up the window and turned my way. Then he frowned as he reached forward and gently rubbed the back of my hea
d.

  I sighed as he guided me forward and rested our foreheads against one another. “Sorry,” he whispered, still massaging my head. “It’d been nearly four hours since I was allowed to kiss you. And that’s way too long to be in your presence and not kiss you like you deserve.”

  I grinned, not bothering to point out that he kissed me at the gas station two hours ago, and gave me a quick peck at a stoplight thirty minutes before we arrived.

  “Kevin was right though.”

  “About what?” he murmured, eyes closed.

  “I think I am gonna need a kiss… somewhere.”

  I was smirking when Nick’s eyes flew open.

  “I’ll go check us in,” he said, scrambling for the handle. I laughed, clutching my stomach when he almost slipped on a patch of ice in his hurry to get to the lodge.

  This weekend felt like a huge deal, and not just for Kevin and Lindsay.

  I gasped, my hands burrowing further into Nick’s hair, pulling at the strands until I was convinced I was going to yank them straight out of his head.

  He didn’t seem to mind. If anything, it encouraged him. He growled against my clit, sending delicious tingles radiating through me.

  “N-Nick…” My head turned to the side, and though the curtains were shut, I could see the lights dangling outside and the gentle snowfall.

  His hands came up and palmed my boobs, roughly squeezing while his tongue continued to work me over until I exploded, seeing stars. When the pressure become too much, I tried to push him away. He held me close and continued eating me out like he was never going to stop. I felt it building again, but…

  “N-Nick… I c-can’t… I… oh… God…”

  He mumbled something against my core, but I was too busy writhing in pleasure to make it out. I couldn’t believe I was coming for a fourth time. And I couldn’t even berate his smug smile because he earned it. I was wiped out.

  After he gave me one orgasm with his fingers against the hotel room door, he took me on the bed two more times—once missionary and then with me riding him—before he moved down my body and coaxed one final orgasm out of me.

  “I’d return the favor,” I managed to get out, still gasping for air. “But I think you’ve killed me. Is death by orgasm a thing?”

  I heard his chuckle and felt his warm breath ghost over my stomach as he kissed his way up my body.

  “If so, we’d better stop. I’m actually pretty fond of you.”

  “Oh yeah?” I teased, my eyes shut as my brain tried to regain function. When he didn’t say anything, I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me with a serious expression on his face.

  “Yeah,” he whispered right before he brought his lips to mine, offering me a sweet kiss that stole my breath all over again. Nick pulled back and brushed the hair from my face, like he couldn’t stand for any part of me to be hidden from him.

  “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  I groaned. “Nick, I can’t stand, walk, lift my arms above my head—AHH!” I finished with a shriek as he picked me up, forcing my tired arms to wrap around his shoulders.

  “What are you doing? I just told you—”

  “I’ll take care of you.”

  He slowly moved us into the bathroom. The porcelain was cool on my skin as he gently set me on the countertop and turned toward the bath. Nick’s hand hovered under the stream as he adjusted the temperature until he was satisfied. Once he was he quickly jogged back to the bedroom.

  Apparently my sex-coma was no match for his butt, because my eyes tracked him all the way to his suitcase. When he returned he dumped some liquid in that immediately foamed up in the water and released a lemony scent. After testing the temperature again, he turned off the faucet before picking me up and carefully lowering us both into the steamy and bubbly bathwater.

  I moaned. It felt like heaven on my sore muscles.

  “Does it feel nice?” he murmured as his hands lightly stroked my arms. I nodded against his shoulder. Ever since we left the bedroom, his looks held affection and his touches were no longer demanding. Nick became tender and attentive, solely concerned with my well-being.

  I knew he meant the bath, but my thoughts were somewhere else. I wished I had the courage to tell him that nothing in this universe was a match for how he made me feel, for how I was starting to feel about him.

  When he started massaging shampoo into my scalp I was an absolute goner.

  “I’m seriously going to fall asleep in here.”

  He kissed the shell of my ear before running his fingers through my hair until he reached the tips. Gently tilting my head back, he grabbed a cup, turned on the faucet to fill it, and rinsed the shampoo from my hair. He did this three or four times until my hair was free of suds. Then he picked up the conditioner and slowly worked it into my ends, doing it exactly how I did.

  My words from earlier floated back to me…

  Love isn’t in big fancy weddings or huge romantic gestures. It’s in the simple things… in all the stuff no one else really thinks about.

  Like how I washed my hair.

  As my eyes fluttered closed, tired and overwhelmed with the surety that I was in love with Nick, I leaned my head to the side. Nick read me so well, I was hardly waiting a second before his lips sealed over mine.

  And he may not have known it, but for me, the kiss sealed something far more precious.

  We’d gotten in around two o’clock, and after the quick sex coma, bath, and nap, it was a little after seven o’clock.

  Iris stretched on the bed next to me. I grabbed her hips and quickly lifted her onto my lap. She let out a squeak as her hands found my chest.

  “I wanna explore.”

  Grinning, I pushed some of her fallen hair back from her face. “What happened to your death by orgasm?”

  “I’ve resurrected.” She kissed my chest. “Pretty please?”

  “Of course. Just give me a minute.” I gave her a pat on the ass and watched her flop onto the bed next to me. Unable to stop myself, I gave her one last kiss before getting out of bed and padding toward the bathroom.

  After using the toilet and brushing my teeth, I walked out to find Iris leaning against the wall next to the window. Her hand was holding the curtain back as she stared at the falling snow, a soft smile on her lips. She had changed into jeans, a long-sleeved burgundy shirt, and thermal socks. Her jacket, scarf, and boots were waiting on the chair behind her.

  As if she felt my gaze, she turned her head and our stares collided.

  “Are you almost ready?” she asked quietly. Without a word, I nodded and walked toward my clothes in the corner. We were both living out of our suitcases for the couple days we were here.

  I quickly pulled on my clothes from earlier—they smelled clean enough—before walking over to where Iris was about to put on her coat. Molding my front to her back, my hands landed on her hips and squeezed.

  “Let me,” I whispered against the back of her neck before placing a gentle kiss there. She nodded, letting go of the coat when I wound my arm around her and took it. I shook it out before tapping her left shoulder.

  Iris looked to her side, catching me in her periphery, as she slid one arm in and then the other. When I finished, I gently massaged her shoulders for a few seconds before smoothing out the material. Then I turned her around, cupped her face, and gently kissed her.

  When I broke away, we were both winded. I focused on her lips, all my thoughts and feelings whirling around me, almost too great for me to comprehend.

  Always kiss like it’s the first time and the last time.

  I remembered hearing that advice before, but I’d never really understood it. But I was finally starting to get it. It wasn’t even a choice I had to make. I kissed her and I felt everything.

  I felt nervous and unsure, like I still couldn’t believe it was happening. And whenever we were about to stop, I panicked a little. Each time I kissed her a little stronger, to make sure she knew how much it meant to me that s
he let me kiss her, hoping I left as big an impact as she was leaving on me.

  Both of us had been looking down, at the other’s lips, but like magnets, our heads came up at the same time, our eyes connecting once again.

  “C’mon.” I reached down and laced my fingers through hers. “Let’s go explore.”

  She beamed up at me as I grinned down at her.

  It was perfect. Or was there a word greater than perfect? Because if there was, that was what this was. I didn’t know it could be like this; even before I became jaded, I just didn’t know. And I knew I’d never be able to go back.

  The hotel was surprisingly quiet. We nodded at a few other couples before heading toward the back doors. The temperature was hovering in the high thirties, but the back deck had a few heaters so it wasn’t completely unbearable. Besides, it gave me the perfect excuse to wrap my arms around Iris and pull her into my chest.

  We were right in front of the fence, overlooking the back section of the hotel where the reception would take place. Both of us sucked in a breath at the sight before us.

  “It’s gorgeous,” Iris whispered. I couldn’t speak; I just nodded dumbly even though she couldn’t see my agreement.

  It was dark out, but the trees were lined with lights that casted a subtle glow over everything. It would undoubtedly look like the fairy tale Lindsay wanted tomorrow at twilight.

  I’d been to a couple weddings over the years, all for distant relatives of Colleen’s. There were always so many people, and apart from Colleen’s parents, we knew no one there. But this had a completely different vibe. Instead of large round tables that held nearly a dozen people, the tables were small, seating only four people. To the left there was a decent-sized pool with several waterfalls providing a soothing background in the far corners.

  Iris looked back at me. “I know a lot of people get lost in planning their wedding. It’s nice to see something so reminiscent of the actual couple.”

  “Yeah,” I murmured. She grinned as I shoved my hands into the pockets of her coat. Her eyes fluttered shut as her head rested against my shoulder.