All I Want (Three Holiday Romances)

by Kaylee Baldwin

“You were always busy. Janessa’s been telling me about your internship. It sounds pretty amazing.”

  “It is. I love it. I love the people, the job, the accounts, coming up with new ideas, all of it. I may complain sometimes, but I want to do this so bad.”

  “You will then. I don’t remember you letting anything stand in your way.”

  She didn’t know how true that was, but it still felt good to hear. “Thanks. What about you? You must have been pretty serious with your girlfriend if you were driving sixteen hours just to meet her family.”

  Jimmy shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah. I mean, we’d been dating for about six months. I don’t know. Her family wanted to meet me, and it just seemed like a good idea to go home with her for Christmas. Turned out to be a bad idea.”

  “Hey, at least you guys found out you weren’t right for each other before you spent another six months together.”

  He shrugged.

  “And work? Janessa mentioned that you got your degree in architecture.”

  Jimmy wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Work is work.” He stepped back and pushed the door all the way open. “C’mon, let’s go get some food.”

  “Wait, what’s going on?” Natalie snagged his arm before he could leave the room. “‘Work is work?’ Janessa told me you love your job.”

  “I did.”

  “Did?”

  “Yeah. Before I got laid off, it was the best job I’d ever had.”

  “Why’d you get laid off?”

  “Budget cuts. I was one of last people hired, which meant I was one of the first to go.”

  Natalie squeezed Jimmy’s arm. “That sucks. Seriously. Does anyone else know?”

  “Nope, so don’t say anything. Not even to Janessa.”

  “I won’t,” Natalie said, offended. She’d never been a gossip and hated that he felt like he had to tell her to keep it to herself. Yet, she could see why it would be an easy assumption that she’d tell Janessa. It seemed like Janessa and Jimmy talked about her all the time. In a softer voice, she said, “I’ll keep it to myself. But you need to tell them sometime.”

  Jimmy gave a noncommittal shrug. “We’ll see.”

  Natalie couldn’t force him to tell his family about his job if he didn’t want to. It wasn’t like she’d want to start Facebooking her own failure to get the internship if it happened. She could only imagine how much worse it would be to actually have the dream job then lose it.

  “Okay,” he whispered, after they left the bedroom, sounding like the Jimmy she remembered. “Stan’s kids are actually pretty decent. They’re all married, two of them have kids. Janessa is in love with the baby, so you probably won’t hear her talk in a normal, adult voice for the rest of the time they’re here. The ones with the kids are all staying here until after Christmas, so it’s going to be a full house.”

  Natalie heard the kids—there had to be more than four in there—the second they reached the stairs. Something thumped against the wall, followed by wailing and laughter. Suddenly working on the project a little more didn’t feel quite so bad. Except—whatever Stan made for dinner did smell amazing. Maybe food was worth any risk she was about to take by going into that room.

  Jimmy opened the door that led into the family room. “Oh, and they’re all going to be really offended if you don’t remember their names first chance. They’re weird like that.”

  Natalie whipped her head up. She’d always had a difficult time remembering names. “Wait, Jimmy . . .”

  “Hey, everyone! This is Natalie. You will not believe how awesome this girl’s memory is. Seriously, introduce yourself once, and she’ll remember you.” The devil smiled, sat on the couch, and stretched his legs out with his hands behind his head like he didn’t have a care in the world.

  “I don’t really—”

  “That’s so cool!” A red-head lady with a toddler hanging off her leg said. “I’m Angie, this is Ben. That over there is my husband Carl and Janessa is holding baby Kennedy. In the recliners are Pete and Jenny and their two kids—Brody and Kendall—are in the kitchen helping Grandpa. The newlyweds on the fireplace ledge are Kristine and David. Okay, go!”

  “Um,” Natalie wracked her brain to remember everyone’s names. “You’re name is Angie and your son’s name is Brody?”

  “No, Ben.”

  “Oh, right. And the baby’s name is, uh . . .” Everyone looked at her expectantly. I am going to seriously maim Jimmy.

  “Wittle Miss Kennedy,” Janessa piped in with a high-pitched baby voice while waving the baby’s chubby hand.

  Natalie shook her head. Wow. “Okay. And your husband’s name is Charles.”

  “Carl.”

  “Oh, yeah.” She looked apologetically at Carl. “Sorry.”

  “Actually, I’m Pete.”

  Gah. Forget maim. She was going straight to kill.

  Angie stepped closer to Jimmy and lowered her voice. “I don’t know if her memory’s as great as you seem to think it is.”

  “Dinner’s ready!” One of the older grandkids came in to announce, saving Natalie from further humiliation.

  “Mmmm. I am so, so hungry. That sounds great.” Natalie was the first in line to follow the kid into the dining room. When she saw the spread and took a deep breath, she realized how truly hungry she was. Everyone sat down at the table, and after a prayer over the food, they began to eat.

  Stan stood while everyone dished themselves up. “What we’ve got here is oxtail soup and chili with tortillas, which is what a lot of Mexicans eat for Christmas Dinner.”

  Natalie ate the food quickly, surprised by how much she liked it. Oxtails looked really weird, but were surprisingly good. After everyone finished their dinner, Stan handed out a plate filled with some kind of roll and told everyone to take one.

  “In Mexico they generally do this in January, but since it’s still a part of the Christmas tradition, we’re going to do it now. To represent the day that the wise men arrived to see Jesus, they bake a baby Jesus into one roll. Whoever gets the roll with the Jesus in it gets to host a tamale party in February for all of us!”

  Natalie sat back and watched as everyone ripped into their rolls quickly. The kids were all disappointed when theirs didn’t have the baby Jesus inside.

  “Anyone find it yet?” Stan asked a few minutes later. They all answered negative. “I know the baby has to be in someone’s roll. Check carefully.”

  “Natalie hasn’t even touched hers,” Angie said. “C’mon. Open it up.”

  Natalie picked up the light roll and turned it around in her hands with a feeling of dread. Slowly splitting it open, she felt her thumb hit something hard. She closed her eyes. Of course she got baby Jesus.

  “Here it is,” she said with false cheer. The kids were really excited and wanted her to pass it along to them so they could see it.

  “You are so lucky,” Kendall—she’d finally figured out the names during dinner—said.

  “You can have him, if you want,” Natalie offered.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Steve said. “I bought several extra to give to the grandkids.”

  “Oh. Great.”

  Jimmy slung an arm around the back of Natalie’s chair. “So, I’m finally going to get to see your apartment, Natty.”

  Natalie took the baby Jesus from Kendall before turning to Jimmy. “When?”

  “For the great tamale party you’re going to throw.”

  “I’m not actually going to throw a party.”

  “It’s tradition,” Jimmy said.

  The kids piped in, “You have to! You got the Jesus!”

  Natalie’s smile was feeling more forced by the second. The last thing she wanted was to drag this Christmas celebration out for another month. Plus, there was the tiny fact that she’d never cooked anything more complicated that spaghetti and frozen meatballs before. With it being the last semester of grad school—and she still didn’t know where she’d be jobwise yet—there was no way she’d be throwing a party.


  But with the excited faces of the kids staring back at her, she popped the mini statue into her pocket and gave a non-committal, “We’ll see,” as an answer.

  “Thanks, Natty.” Jimmy’s hand squeezed her shoulder lightly. “It’s going to be great.”

  No, what was going to be great was thinking of a plan to get Jimmy back for teasing her. She didn’t have any ideas yet, but she’d think of something.

  JIMMY SAT BESIDE NATALIE ON THE FLOOR and offered her a bowl of spicy popcorn.

  Natalie had been upstairs working on her ad for about an hour when the sounds of everyone talking and having fun lulled her out of her room. A Christmas movie played in the background and the floor was strewed with bright papers, scissors, markers, glue, glitter, beads, pipe cleaners, feathers, foam, felt, paper punches, and yarn when she came downstairs. They were making decorations to place around the house—the adults trying to make lanterns and flowers, while the kids worked on paper chains.

  “The paper chains represent happiness,” Jimmy said. He took one of the colorful chains at their feet and stretched it out between his hands. “Stan told us this morning that after his wife died, the first Christmas from around the world that they celebrated was China. He made a paper chain with his kids—and instead of taking it down at Christmas, the kids added a link to it every time they were feeling sad about their mom—to remember that she’d want them to be happy. He said that they finally took it down the next year, but by that time it was so long, it circled the room several times.”

  Natalie leaned her back against the couch and set down the complicated flower she was trying to cut out so that she could take a handful of popcorn. “That’s a really cool story. What did she die from?”

  “Breast cancer. She’d gone through treatments for about a year before she died.”

  “Sad.”

  “Yeah.” Jimmy grew silent as he looked at his mom and Stan, both laughing at something one of the grandkids had done. “I haven’t seen my mom this happy in a long time. I mean, she’s always been happy, but not like this.”

  “I can see it, too.”

  Jimmy munched on his popcorn and Natalie picked up her flower to finish cutting it. She could feel him watching her as she tried to figure out how to make the petals look less tortured.

  “Don’t you have something you can be doing?” she asked him.

  “Nope. Not a thing.”

  “Well, can you stop staring at me, please?”

  “Why? Am I making you nervous?”

  Natalie sighed. “No.” Yes. “I just need some space to do this.”

  “Oh, I’m crowding your space from all the way over here, am I?” He scooted closer, pressing his arm against hers and lowering his chin to her shoulder. She willed away the goosebumps his breath on her neck caused. “Does this help?”

  “Help what?” Her words were ridiculously breathy.

  “Your concentration.” He laughed, tickling her side while he pulled away.

  Natalie pushed his hands from her ticklish spot. “Why do you pester me so much?”

  “Because I like you.”

  “Huh. And I’d like you so much better if you’d stop messing with me all the time.”

  Jimmy shook his head. “Sorry, Natty. I only have so many pure pleasures in life, and I’d forgotten that teasing you was one of them. I’m so glad I came home this year.”

  Natalie finished the last cut on her paper and snagged some white glue to spread on all of the petals. “So, besides getting under my skin, what kinds of things do you like to do? Do you still find time to swim?” She sprinkled glitter on her flower until it shimmered a pretty gold on the red paper. Perfect.

  “Not as much,” Jimmy admitted. “Up until a few weeks ago, I’ve been really busy with work.”

  “When did you graduate?”

  “Last year.”

  “I can’t believe you’ve already graduated from college. Whenever I think of you, I remember a sixteen year old kid. It’s crazy to think of you with a career now.”

  Jimmy nodded slowly. “So you still think of me as a sixteen year old. That’s awesome.” Except the way he said it made Natalie think that it wasn’t really awesome at all.

  “Sorry? I can’t help what I think.”

  “Natalie!” Janessa came over with Kennedy still snuggled tight in her arms. “Hold her for a minute while I go to the bathroom.” She dumped the baby into Natalie’s lap before she could protest. “Thanks a bunch. I’ll only be a minute!”

  Natalie stared at the two month old baby squirming in her lap. “Jimmy?” She reached out and locked her hand on his leg when he stood. “Don’t you dare leave me with this baby.”

  Jimmy laughed. “Are you serious?”

  “Totally serious.” Panic welled up inside of Natalie when the baby let out a huge wail. “Just take her, please.”

  “No way.” Jimmy sat beside her again. “Pick Kennedy up and hold her tight to your chest.”

  Natalie stuck her hands under the baby’s back then pulled them away. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “Have you ever held a baby before?”

  Natalie shook her head.

  “That’s actually unbelievable. Even with all of those humanitarian trips?”

  “I was mostly helping build schools and churches and teaching English. Mom was the one who visited the orphanages.” Natalie’s voice rose with her panic.

  “Okay. Here we go.”

  Natalie breathed a huge sigh of relief when Jimmy reached into her lap and took Kennedy. Almost like a switch being turned off, the baby stopped crying.

  “Thank you. You know, I think I need a drink.”

  “Not so fast. You’re holding this baby.”

  “But you’re doing such a good job.” The baby had curled into Jimmy’s muscular arms and rested her head on his firm chest. Lucky baby. Natalie banished the thought from her head, but couldn’t stop the blush that heated her cheeks. Thankfully, Jimmy didn’t seem to notice.

  “Here, hold out your arms like this, and I’ll gently hand you the baby. Relax, Natty. Kennedy doesn’t want to snuggle with a board.”

  “I’m trying,” Natalie said through gritted teeth.

  Jimmy cocked an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her neck and tried to loosen her shoulders. She could do this. It was just a baby. A little person. A ten pound mini-person, not unlike a doll or baby Santa. This was doable as long as Jimmy stayed close.

  Jimmy slid Kennedy into her arms and helped her position the baby, snuggled close to her chest. Kennedy nestled in and something unrecognizable stirred in Natalie. It was a feeling closely related to longing, but that was impossible. Sure, she’d thought about having children in that abstract way one uses when it seems so far off it’s not even worth thinking about. She’d also thought about buying an island and building her own multi-million dollar private resort on it. Thinking about it didn’t mean it was ever going to be a reality.

  Kennedy’s tiny thumb slid into her mouth. Natalie studied her little nails, amazed at how small they could be. Everything was miniature from the tiny bow lips to the way her eyelashes swept her rounded cheeks.

  “You have the baby bug now, don’t you?” Jimmy said.

  Natalie looked up at where he hunkered down in front of them, a protest ready on her lips, when she caught his expression. He looked at Kennedy with a half-smile, and he had some of that “unrecognizable feeling” all over his face. Did Jimmy want a family someday? Probably. He was so close to his mom and sister that she should have guessed he’d want something like that of his own.

  “Thank you! Come to Auntie Janessa.” Janessa appeared suddenly and snagged the baby from Natalie before she could protest. Not that she would have. She was relieved to have the baby gone. She had important crafting to continue with. Or, she should forget the crafting and work on her ad. She’d had a nice break, but really needed to focus.

  “I’d better get back to work.”

  Jimmy stood and took Natalie’
s hand to help her up. “Or you could help me figure out the fireworks. Stan wants me to be in charge of them, so I think I should probably look at it before it gets any darker.”

  “Stan put you in charge of something that explodes? Does the man know you at all?”

  “Of course. He knows that I’m extremely responsible—especially when it comes to exploding devices.” Jimmy rubbed his hands together.

  “Really. What about when you got the cops called on us for setting off those dry-ice bombs in the street and shattering the windshield of your neighbor’s car?” Natalie walked with him past all of the crafters and toward the back door, grabbed her coat from the hall closet, and wound a gray knit scarf around her neck. She could work on her project later but right then, someone needed to keep an eye on Jimmy.

  Jimmy slid into a jacket and pulled on a forest green beanie. “We’re doing these in the backyard. Won’t happen again.”

  “Always so confident.”

  Natalie took a deep breath of the brisk air when they stepped outside. Christmas in Phoenix wasn’t too bad. There wasn’t any snow or rain, and the sun was shining bright, but there was still enough nip in the air that she was glad she wore a coat. Jimmy led her to the back corner of the yard where he’d already set out the fireworks on a blue tarp.

  “Where did Stan find fireworks in the middle of winter?” The tarp crinkled when Natalie sat, and she flipped one of the boxes around to read the instructions.

  “I think he’s been saving these ones since July 4th. Can you read about the smaller ones? I’ll work on the big ones.”

  “Sure. Is this legal?”

  Jimmy shrugged. “Let’s not ask too many questions.”

  “I don’t want to get the cops called on me again.” She shook her head, remembering last time. Her parents had not been happy, but they’d never been much for punishment, so it hadn’t been too big of a deal—other than her freaking out that the warning the police officer had issued was going to go onto her permanent record.

  While opening the box to check out the first set of small fireworks, Natalie’s cell phone rang. She answered, glad to see Grant’s name on the screen. He’d been really distracted the last couple of times they’d talked.