All I Want (Three Holiday Romances)

by Kaylee Baldwin

  “Hey, Grant.” She set the box in her lap and leaned back on her free hand. “How’re things coming with your new client?”

  “Really good, Nat. I’ve been working close with Abe Tolberson—that partner I was telling you about a few weeks ago—and he mentioned that he’s been impressed with how many hours I’ve put in with this client.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “I’ve missed you, though.”

  All feelings of annoyance for how distracted he’d been melted away. “I miss you, too.”

  “I hate that you’re at Janessa’s house, but it’s probably good that you didn’t hang around here with me. I’m going to be lucky to make it down to see you Christmas day.”

  “You have to take Christmas off!”

  Grant sighed. “I have so many things I need to read through still. This is huge, Nat. This could mean big things for me moving up in my firm.”

  “I know. But you can take one day off.”

  “We’ll see,” he said, noncommittally. “How’s your project coming—or is Janessa keeping you from concentrating?”

  Natalie ignored the dig at Janessa. “I’m having a hard time cementing an idea for the ad.”

  “What about that towers ideas. I liked that one.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t like it very much anymore.”

  “You’re over-thinking this, Nat. Hang on a sec.”

  Natalie heard shuffling and then male voices in the background.

  Grant came back on the phone a minute later. “Hey, I’m going to go grab some dinner with a few guys from work since it’s going to be another late night. I’m glad to hear that your project is going good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hung up before she could even say goodbye.

  “Was that someone from work?” Jimmy asked.

  Natalie grabbed the fireworks box and cracked it open. “Uh, no. That was my boyfriend, Grant. Janessa hasn’t mentioned him?”

  “No, no she didn’t.” Jimmy snagged the fireworks from her and set them on the ground. “That was really your boyfriend? You’re not messing with me?”

  “Why would I be messing with you about that? I’ve been with Grant for about six months.”

  “Huh.”

  “Don’t ‘huh’ me. What?”

  “Well, it’s just that you talk to him like he’s a co-worker instead of a boyfriend.”

  “I do not! We said we missed each other.”

  “Oh, well. Never mind. I stand corrected.”

  Natalie covered her face in frustration. “You’re so annoying.”

  “Annoyingly lovable?” Jimmy spread her hands so he could look at her face.

  “No.” Natalie laughed in spite of herself. “Just annoying.”

  “Well, while you were getting turned on by a progress report to your alleged boyfriend, I was over here figuring out how to set off these fireworks. Watch.” He lit up the end of one and sent it shooting up to the sky. It cracked and an explosion of red glittered in the air above them.

  “That was awesome. Do another one.” Natalie’s neck stretched as she stared up to the sky while Jimmy lit off one more. “This Christmas Around the World is starting to grow on me.”

  Jimmy stood beside Natalie, and she heard the kids starting to come outside as a green firework went off above them. His arm brushed hers and he said, “I think it’s only going to get better.”

  CHILDREN RAN AROUND EVERYWHERE. When she tried to go to the bathroom, a child was already in there—and a valuable life lesson she’d learned: don’t be the first person in the bathroom after one of the kids had used it. She needed to purchase a gallon of disinfectant if she was going to survive this place.

  There were children in the kitchen. In the backyard. The living room. Beside the tree. And now, in Janessa’s bedroom, lying on Natalie’s pillow. Intellectually, she knew there were only four kids. But somehow, they were multiplying and she couldn’t escape.

  “Why is Ben sleeping on my pillow?” Natalie whispered to Janessa, who had stretched out on the bed beside the two-year old.

  “Sorry.” Janessa had the decency to look repentant. “I was reading him a Christmas story and he fell asleep, so I just slid him onto your side so I wouldn’t accidentally wake him up. Do you want me to move him?”

  Kind of, but Natalie knew it would be awful for her to actually say that. That kid was the worst one to go into the bathroom after, and now he was on her pillow. Hopefully he’d washed his hands—or had an intense hose-down or something. She forced a smile. “No, it’s okay.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” He looked way too peaceful to move. In fact, in a deep sleep like that, she could actually appreciate how cute Ben was, germs aside. She did wish she could find a place to rest, though. She’d had a hard time falling asleep last night, still thinking about Jimmy’s assumption that she and Grant were coworkers. She kept trying to convince herself that Jimmy was just giving her a hard time. Couples talked about work. Not every conversation had to be declarations of love and sickeningly-sweet pillow talk.

  Jimmy didn’t know how real couples communicated, obviously. His most serious relationship had ended because they couldn’t stand to be in a closed space with each other for longer than a few hours. So, how was he supposed to know what grown up, mature couples talked about?

  “Do you want to take my spot? I can go find Kennedy.”

  Natalie had to smile. She’d never seen Janessa so enamored with a baby. Natalie knew Janessa loved children—she only had one semester left until she had her degree in elementary education—but this was a new level of obsession. “No, it’s fine. Stan’s getting dinner ready and I think we’re just going to have a quiet night around the fireplace.”

  “That sounds heavenly.” Janessa sighed. “Those pantomimes were so cute this morning.”

  Natalie smiled, remembering the plays that the families had put on. Stan had explained that in England, pantomimes were not the silent affairs that Americans thought they were. Instead, they were retellings of classic children’s stories that had slapstick, innuendo—that hopefully went above the kids’ heads—and lots of silly singing. Natalie had decided to take a break from work to watch them, and they had been hilarious. She’d forgotten how funny Jimmy could be when his target wasn’t her.

  “Yeah, those were a lot of fun.”

  Janessa slid away from Ben and slipped her shoes on. “Are you going to work for a little while?”

  “Yes.” Natalie sighed. She was nowhere near where she needed to be. She’d decided to go with: Magneto Blocks: Tough and Tall Towers. She’d sketched out some ads that could go in parenting magazines and did a rough outline for a commercial. Still, she was having a hard time with it because—even more than not being able to get excited about the product—she couldn’t get excited about her idea. She had no confidence that she’d win.

  “Would you mind keeping an eye on Ben for me? I never got Jimmy a Christmas present because I didn’t think he was going to be home and this might be the perfect time to go pick something up for him.”

  “I don’t know. I really need to work.” Natalie’s hesitation really had less to do with working and more to do with feeling completely inadequate when it came to taking care of children.

  “It’ll be fine. He’ll probably sleep for another thirty minutes or so, and when he wakes up, just take him downstairs to his mom. I’ll let her know that you’re up here with him.”

  “I guess.”

  “Awesome. I’ll be back before dinner.”

  Janessa was out the door before Natalie could change her mind. She stared at Ben’s small form on the bed. A soggy thumb hung from his open mouth and a puddle of drool had slipped from his cheek to her pillow. Yes, awesome.

  She tip-toed toward the closet and pulled out her blocks and sketch pad. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, she set the blocks out and started to sketch some of her ideas for an ad. She got lost in her thoughts, so she didn’t know how much time had passed when she hear
d clinking. Ben was crouched down beside her, stacking the blocks.

  He grabbed them with his whole hand and stacked one on top of the other, with seemingly no thought for making his tower steady before pulling his hand away. More than once the tower teetered but stayed upright, until he put the fifth block on. Ben giggled when the tower fell and the blocks scattered around. Apparently, the magnets weren’t all that great for keeping the tower together once it fell. It seemed to be more about helping them all stay together while he was still building.

  “Again!” he said, and he began to stack the blocks once more. She watched as he repeated this process: building the blocks until they got too high or unstable to hold, then laughing as it fell down and blocks scattered everywhere.

  “Why is this fun?” she murmured, jotting her observations on her notepad.

  “For the same reason it’s fun to knock down dominos or pop a balloon.”

  Natalie looked up, startled. Jimmy moved from where he’d been leaning in the doorway and walked over to her and Ben. He reached down and picked Ben up, holding him upside down by his ankles while Ben laughed and squealed.

  “Kids are destructive?” she answered.

  Jimmy laughed. “Well, yeah. Some of them. But they like the result. Sometimes it’s the noise. Sometimes it’s the reaction they get from other people. And sometimes, I think they feel powerful that they made something change.”

  “That’s kind of a well-thought out analysis of children’s toy habits.”

  “I just remember. I was a kid once, you know.”

  “Yeah, not too long ago.” Natalie smirked.

  “You’re not that much older than me, Natty.”

  “Two years.”

  “Fourteen months.”

  “No way.”

  “You were born in August, I was born the next year in October.” Jimmy put Ben upright and held him while he caught his breath from laughing.

  Natalie went through the math in her head. He was right. She was just barely a year older than him. Huh. “Well, I’ve always been years older in maturity.”

  Jimmy shrugged. “Probably. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve grown up.” His muscles flexed as he flipped Ben up onto his shoulders.

  “Oh, I noticed,” Natalie said. Jimmy caught her staring at his arms and a huge smile spread across his face. A huge, arrogant smile. He flexed his arms on purpose this time and her face burned all the way down to her neck. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Like what?” Jimmy asked, walking from the room.

  “You know what like. Jimmy. Stop flexing your arms.”

  “What? I’m just carrying Ben. If my muscular arms are flexing, it’s only because I’m using them.”

  “Just take Ben to his mom, will you?”

  “Ah, a nice subject change. Sure. Stan sent me up here to tell you that dinner’s ready, by the way.”

  “Okay, I’ll be down in a sec.” Natalie put everything away, taking her time to give her a chance for her embarrassment to cool off. So she’d admired Jimmy’s arms. Was it a crime to appreciate the body of someone who obviously worked out? She was in advertising. Observing was something she did. She’d observed Jimmy in a completely objective way. Yup. She put the last of the blocks in the bag and threw them on the bed. Didn’t mean anything.

  Natalie grabbed Janessa’s leg under the table and hissed, “Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is.”

  “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

  “I am never coming to your house again if I have to eat that. I’m not kidding. Stop laughing.” Natalie folded her arms and tried to keep from laughing as well. She should have realized by now that Stan was a “go big or go home” kind of guy. And what was an authentic English Christmas without . . .

  “Goose!” Stan walked into the dining room, brandishing carving knives. “I hope you’re hungry, because this was a big one.”

  “Oh, I’m hungry,” Jimmy said in her ear before sitting beside her. “But not for goose.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  “Don’t make me elbow you,” Natalie whispered back.

  “Let’s pray and then start passing your plates to the right and I’ll put some goose on for you. Everyone needs to try a little. Be adventurous!”

  Natalie managed to eat a portion of the goose that Stan had put on her plate. It actually didn’t taste too bad once she got past the fact that it was goose. It was better than some other things Stan had made his kids eat in the past. They mentioned a grasshopper stir fry they’d had one year. Natalie was just going to eat her goose in silence and count her blessings.

  “After everyone’s done, let’s gather in the family room and we’re going to watch A Christmas Carol.”

  Natalie took her plate to the sink and went into the living room. The kids and Janessa were already sprawled across the floor and the adults took up most of the couch and chair space. Anne threw another log on the fire that burned in the fireplace, giving the room a warm, welcoming glow. While couples began to cuddle, Natalie stood just inside the doorway. Maybe she should skip the movie and go call Grant. She’d seen this movie before—grumpy guy hates Christmas, gets visited by the ghost of his friend, spends the night with three other ghosts, has a change of heart and learns to love Christmas. Message received. Time for a phone call.

  She backed into a solid body.

  “Where are you going?” Jimmy’s warm hands encircled her upper arms.

  Natalie turned into him, but stepped back when she realized how close they were. “I’m going to skip out on the movie tonight.”

  “Tired?”

  “A little. I want to call Grant before it gets too late.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  He brushed past Natalie to walk into the room. She waited for a flirty comment, teasing, something from him, and was surprised when he sat next to Janessa and tickled the baby’s stomach without a backward glance.

  She shook off her weird sense of disappointment and took the stairs two at a time to go upstairs to Janessa’s room and call Grant. He answered just before it went to voice mail but sounded distracted for their whole conversation.

  “Grant, are you listening to me?” she asked after telling him about kid drool on her pillow. She’d expected at least a sympathy chuckle.

  “Hmmm, what?”

  “You haven’t listened to me this entire conversation.” Natalie blinked back tears, angry at herself for getting emotional. She wasn’t that girl. But was it too much to ask that he listen to her? She understood more than most what it meant to be driven, but he didn’t need to be driven every waking hour of the day. She needed to know that she was important to him too.

  “I’m sorry, Nat. I was right in the middle of this email when you called, but I can step away for a minute.” She could picture him shaking his head, trying to clear his mind from whatever he’d been working on. “Are you having a good time?”

  “Yeah, I actually am.”

  “Good. Good,” his voice drifted off and she knew she’d lost him again.

  She sighed, not wanting to compete with his work tonight. “I’ll just talk to you later.”

  “Wait! I’m missing one of the contracts that my client already signed. I went by your house this morning, but couldn’t find it anywhere? Have you seen it?”

  Natalie thought back to the night before she left. She and Grant both had their work papers spread out on the kitchen table. There was a chance she’d gathered his contract into her papers. “Let me see if I have it here.” It only took a few minutes of rifling through some of her work papers to find it. “Yup, I’ve got it right here.”

  “Nat, I really need that for my meeting in a couple of days.”

  It was almost nine. Any place that would overnight it would already be closed. “I’ll send it off tomorrow and make sure that they get it to you before your meeting.”

  “Can you just drive it to me?”

  “I could, but then I’d lose a whole day of work. You could drive here.”
>
  “I’ve got to get things ready for the meeting.” Grant sighed. “Just mail it. Spend whatever you need to so I get it in time. This will make me look really bad if I don’t have it. Oh, getting another phone call. I have to take this.”

  Grant switched over before Natalie could say goodbye. She hung up the phone and sat in the silence. Although she knew she should probably work, it was the last thing she wanted to do. Going to bed didn’t sound so great anymore, either. She decided to jump in the shower and get into her pajamas, hoping it would help her to feel tired again.

  It didn’t.

  Natalie combed out her wet hair and brushed her teeth. She found a spare pillowcase in the hall linen closet and changed her pillowcase. But everything was too quiet. Too lonely.

  Snagging her pillow from the bed, she snuck back downstairs to where everyone was still watching the movie. She poked her head into the room. A couple of Stan’s kids were asleep, but the younger ones were all awake and totally into the movie. She scanned the room for a place to sit, but it was pretty full. Probably for the best.

  “Natty.” Jimmy waved her over to where he was sitting in the recliner. She walked behind the couches toward him. “You can sit here.”

  “I don’t want to take your seat,” she whispered.

  “Just give me your pillow. I’ll be fine.”

  He stood, and she slid into the warm recliner. She grabbed the thick afghan off the back of the chair and laid it across her lap. Jimmy moved to the floor beside the chair and laid back with his head on her pillow.

  Natalie tucked her legs under her and quickly got into the movie, glad that she’d decided to come down. She found herself glancing and Jimmy now and then, studying him fully when she realized that he’d fallen asleep. His light brown hair was cut shorter than she’d ever seen it. He must have put some kind of gel into it or something, because it spiked just slightly in the front. He was wearing his glasses again today and the thin frames made him look intelligent, sophisticated even—a word she never thought she’d use to describe Jimmy. She could admit that he was a good looking guy. A great looking guy, if she were going to be honest. But she’d seen a lot of handsome men in her life—she was dating one even. So what was it about Jimmy that made her want to stare at him for hours?