Highland Lover

by Hannah Howell

  “And I have ne’er said that I love that liar.”

  Fiona rolled her eyes and reached for an oatcake. “Of course not. My mistake.”

  “Och, weel, have the truth then, if ye must.”

  “I do prefer it.”

  Alana ignored that, scowling at the apple she had just picked up. “I do love him. At the moment, I would also like to see him ripped apart by wolves and a certain part he is so proud of nailed to a wall.”

  Fiona giggled and nodded. “Sounds like love to me.”

  Surprised she could do so, Alana smiled but then recalled all of Gregor’s crimes against her. “If he is truly betrothed to Mavis, then why didnae he tell me about her? Aye, I wouldnae have liked hearing that he had seriously courted another woman, was e’en thinking of marrying her, but at least I would have been armed with the truth when I met her. Instead, the Kerrs claim there is a betrothal, Gregor tells me there is a misunderstanding, and no one about Scarglas can assure me that they ken the truth of it all one way or the other.”

  “Aye, that must be a torment. I suspicion there is a part of you that doesnae want to believe he could treat ye so poorly.”

  Alana nodded. “That foolish part of me that loves him, but I intend to kill it, ruthlessly, mercilessly, and quickly. E’en if the Kerrs are lying or have misunderstood something, that doesnae change the fact that Gregor lied to me. That lie has made all that passed between us seem like no more than a, a heartless frolic on his part. It was all naught but rutting.”

  “Och, now, Alana, ye dinnae really believe that, do ye?”

  “I have to. It appears that Gregor is betrothed, and only he and the Kerrs ken the truth of it. Weel, if he is, then I have been a great fool, and if I dinnae believe that, he could easily woo me into becoming an even greater one.”

  “Ah, I see. Mayhap there simply wasnae a good time to tell ye about Mavis.”

  “A good time would have been before he bedded me. Another good time would have been when I told him all about my father’s plans to find me a husband.”

  Fiona gasped. “Ye arenae betrothed, are ye?”

  “Nay. ’Tis just that I am two-and-twenty and have ne’er e’en been wooed. I want a home of my own. I want bairns. So my father said he would find me a husband. He was looking, but he hadnae asked me to approve any choices yet, so nay, I am still free. My father would ne’er betroth me to a mon without my approval.”

  “Of course not. The Murrays give their lasses the freedom of choice. I mean to do the same for whatever daughters I might have. And aye, that would have been the best time for Gregor to tell ye about Mavis. I think he just turned cowardly or thought he could untangle the mess without ye ever learning about her. Men often get such foolish ideas. This should teach Gregor that it isnae wise to keep secrets from ye in the future.”

  Alana was about to tell Fiona there would be no future for her and Gregor when Mavis arrived with a handsome young man Fiona hailed as Brian. It was obvious that he was one of Gregor’s vast horde of brothers. It was also obvious that he and Mavis were very friendly. The blush that colored Mavis’s plump cheeks as she let go of Brian’s arm and sat down at the table bespoke guilt. Alana exchanged a brief look of mingled surprise and suspicion with Fiona before turning her attention back on Mavis and Brian.

  Mavis was an attractive woman with thick, dark auburn hair and bright hazel eyes. She was also somewhat voluptuous, and Alana hastily beat down the sting of envy that swept over her. Pushing all thought of how this woman had a claim on Gregor from her mind, Alana made a careful study of Brian and Mavis as they ate and talked with her and Fiona. By the time the couple left, Alana was not sure if she was happy for herself or outraged for Gregor’s sake. She looked at Fiona, who stared after the couple with an intense frown upon her face.

  “Do ye think Mavis is playing Gregor false with his own brother?” she asked Fiona.

  “Nay, Mavis isnae the type of woman to break a vow,” replied Fiona.

  “Then I have let my own foolish hope make me see what isnae there. ’Tis clear that I am still a besotted fool.”

  “Oh, ye saw clearly enough. If those two arenae lovers already, they soon will be.”

  “But ye said—”

  “That Mavis wouldnae break a vow, aye. Since she is besotted with Brian and he with her, and they appear to be acting upon those feelings, then we must conclude that Mavis kens verra weel that she isnae betrothed to Gregor.”

  Alana slumped in her seat and gently rubbed her temples, not surprised to feel the beginnings of a very bad headache. “Why would she, and her father, lie about it?”

  “’Tis most likely her father who lies, and Mavis is the sort of sweet, biddable lass who would ne’er dream of arguing with him or defying him. As to why her father would lie? Weel, Mavis is his only surviving child and he has no male heir, or at least none whom he likes. He wants a strong mon who can hold his lands for Mavis once he is gone. He wants grandsons and ’tis clear to all that this clan produces sons in abundance. Since Mavis is a wee bit older than ye are, one can only guess at why she is still unwed, but her father grows anxious. So, he has clutched at our Gregor.”

  It made sense, but Alana was reluctant to allow herself to hope. Even if the betrothal was false and Gregor ended it, there were still his lie and his lecherous past to consider. There was also the fact that he had never spoken to her of love or marriage. Gregor might not marry Mavis, but that did not mean he would turn around and marry her, either.

  “If Mavis is such a sweet, biddable lass who would never defy her father, then the betrothal between her and Gregor still stands.”

  “I dinnae think so. Mavis probably kens that her father isnae so much set on Gregor as he is set upon a strong mon who will give him grandsons. For that, our Brian will do as weel as Gregor. I am just nay sure how this will end. Mavis’s father is a stubborn mon who doesnae like to change his mind. He has set his mind on Gregor. This could be quite interesting.” Fiona drummed her fingers on the table and frowned. “And I get the feeling my husband kenned all about Brian and Mavis. I suspicion that is why he convinced Gregor to go with him to Ardgleann.”

  “To clear the path for Brian?”

  “Aye. Ewan had a long talk with Gregor ere we supped last night and told me that I was right, that no official betrothal existed. He said Gregor felt he owed Mavis as gentle a fareweel as possible and one that wouldnae humiliate her, for even though he wasnae betrothed to her, he had raised expectations with his courtship. Ewan also told me that he might take Gregor with him so that the mon could most carefully plan how he would do that. He said it wouldnae be possible if Gregor was trapped here with Mavis and her father dogging his heels. The fool could find himself married to the wrong woman.” Fiona cast Alana a telling glance that she ignored. “It all sounded verra wise. Now? Weel, I am fair certain Ewan took Gregor away so that Brian could woo and claim Mavis.”

  “So much intrigue. Weel, no one should be forced into a marriage they dinnae want, even lecherous, lying dogs like Gregor. So if Mavis wants Brian and he wants her, I wish them both luck. I dinnae think it will change my situation, however.”

  Fiona scowled at her. “Why not? Gregor will be free.”

  “Free, aye, but he still lied to me and he ne’er told me about his sons, proof of a verra lecherous past.”

  “Och, most men try verra hard to have a lecherous past.”

  Alana ignored that even as she acknowledged it as the hard truth. “He has also ne’er told me that he feels anything beyond lust for me or spoken of a future for us.”

  “He couldnae until he set Mavis aside.” Fiona grimaced. “That sounds harsh. He really hadnae promised her anything. Still, she was a knot he needed to untie.” Fiona reached out and grasped Alana’s hand. “Aye, he lied and he was a lecherous pig in his past. He isnae perfect. What mon is? Or what woman, either? But, Alana, ye love him and I have kenned enough Murray women for long enough to ken that ye would ne’er have become his lover unless ye were ce
rtain he was your true mate. I think Mavis will soon take herself away, ending this complication and, sadly, with less care for Gregor’s feelings or pride than he had for hers. So wait. Just wait. See what happens and what he does when he finds himself free. Is he nay worth that little effort?”

  He was, but Alana wished she did not think so. Everything Fiona said concerning why Gregor had never told her about Mavis made perfect sense. Alana could even understand why he had hesitated to tell her about his sons. He had tried to speak to her last night, but she had been too angry and hurt to listen. And then, Mavis had come to take him away.

  And that, Alana realized, was the source of yet another wound. Gregor was full of consideration for Mavis, for her feelings and her pride. Where was his consideration for hers? He could not be so blind that he did not know how hurt she was, how betrayed and humiliated she felt, yet it was Mavis he was concerned about. It made her doubt that he had any deep feelings for her at all, that, perhaps, she truly had been no more than a convenient lover.

  “I dinnae like that look upon your face,” murmured Fiona.

  “I am thinking just as ye told me to do.”

  “Aye, but I dinnae think they are the kindly, loving, forgiving types of thoughts I was hoping for.”

  “Fiona, I will wait as ye have asked me to, and despite the fact that Gregor has ne’er spoken of love or marriage. I will wait, and think, but I willnae let myself hope. When he is free, I will see what he does next and then decide what I should do. Ye cannae ask any more of me.”

  “Nay, that is more than enough. Just try not to think too harshly about him and too poorly about yourself.”

  Alana tried. She rested so that her scrapes and bruises could heal, and she spent a lot of time lost in her own thoughts. For three days she carefully examined every word Gregor had ever said and how he had treated her when they had been together. She could find forgiveness within her, but she did not allow hope to enter her heart.

  She also kept a very close watch on Brian and Mavis. The romance between Mavis and Gregor’s brother was obvious to all except, it seemed, Mavis’s father Ian. The man grumbled about being deserted by his soon-to-be son-in-law, talked far too much about how quickly the marriage could take place after Gregor returned, and remained oblivious to the fact that his daughter was falling in love with Brian. Mavis was sweet and biddable, but she was also skilled at keeping secrets. Alana grew more certain every day that Brian and Mavis did not plan to ask Laird Ian for his blessing.

  It was late on the fourth day when Alana stood at the window in her bedchamber staring out at the moonlit bailey and saw that she was right about the lovers. She had been thinking of Gregor as she too often did when a movement near the stables caught her eye. A man led two horses out of the stables and, from such a distance, all Alana could be sure of was that it was one of Gregor’s brothers. It was the sudden appearance of Mavis at his side that told her it was Brian. The couple briefly embraced and then Brian helped Mavis into her saddle. He mounted his horse, grasped Mavis by the hand and spoke to her. Mavis smiled and nodded and they rode out through the suspiciously wide-open gates and away from Scarglas.

  For a brief moment, Alana actually considered raising the alarm. She realized she was seeing it all as a great insult to Gregor and felt outraged for him. He had been so considerate of Mavis, so concerned that she not be hurt or humiliated, and this was a wretched way for her to repay that kindness.

  “And ye are a wretched great idiot,” she told herself as she went over to her bed, where Charlemagne waited for her.

  As she settled herself beneath the covers, she realized that a little of the pain in her heart had eased and she cursed. She had obviously not been completely successful in killing all hope. That worried her enough that she seriously considered following Brian and Mavis’s example and fleeing Scarglas. Only her promise to Fiona to wait and see what Gregor did once he was free held her in place. She feared suffering more pain but struggled to grasp firm at a little courage. Gregor was worth at least one more chance. The love she could not kill demanded it of her. Alana did think, however, that there was no need to make it easy for him.

  Alana started down the steps toward the great hall looking to break her fast when she saw a red-faced Ian Kerr come striding out of the great hall. He threw open the door leading out into the inner bailey and bellowed for someone to get him a fast horse. The moment he was gone, Alana hurried to the door to the great hall and looked inside. Fiona sat in her husband’s big chair at the head table calmly eating. Charlemagne slipped past Alana and hurried toward Fiona. He was immediately gifted with a piece of chicken.

  “I had thought I was early enough today to break my fast in the company of everyone else,” Alana said as she walked to the head table and sat down next to Fiona.

  “They were all here ere the sun had fully risen and then did their verra best to disappear,” said Fiona.

  “So that they wouldnae have to face Mavis’s verra angry father?”

  “Saw him, did ye?” Fiona shrugged when Alana nodded. “I dinnae envy Brian that mon for a father-in-law.”

  “I saw Mavis and Brian leave last night, riding quickly through some surprisingly wide-open gates.”

  “Weel, dinnae look at me. I didnae have anything to do with it. Ewan probably had a word with the lads before he left. ’Tis the only reason I can think of for why none of Gregor’s other brothers stopped Brian from wooing Mavis. Someone had told them that Mavis wasnae really betrothed to Gregor. They can all be lecherous swine, but they never touch a woman who belongs to one of their brethren.”

  Alana helped herself to some porridge, sweetening it with honey and thick cream. “They might have learned that Mavis wasnae really betrothed to Gregor, but that doesnae mean they knew for certain whether or not Gregor wanted her.”

  “True, so somehow they learned that he didnae.”

  “Do ye ken, for a moment I almost raised the alarm and stopped them.”

  Fiona laughed and nodded. “Aye, so did I. I could only think how dare they humiliate Gregor like this.”

  “Exactly. Howbeit, good sense prevailed and not just because this frees Gregor. Mavis has ne’er done me any harm and seems a good woman. She deserves her happiness as much as anyone else does.”

  “Aye, she does. And now, we wait for Gregor to return.”

  “Aye, and now we wait.”

  “Ye will at least listen to the fool, will ye not?”

  “I will listen if he wishes to talk, but I cannae just allow him to woo me back to where we were before Mavis intruded. I thought he was a free mon and that I was taking a risk in order to win his heart, his free and open heart. Weel, now he can work to win my heart, and to win my trust back. I trusted him once and, all good reasons for the lie aside, he betrayed that trust.” She was relieved when Fiona nodded in agreement. “Last night I decided that I am willing to give him a chance, but I have no intention of making it easy for him.”

  “Good. It shouldnae be.”

  “And, Fiona, if he doesnae act as ye think he will, if he really doesnae care for me beyond the lusting, I will leave here.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Ye think I will be staying, dinnae ye.”

  “I do, but I understand why ye shy from letting yourself hope. I offer only one wee bit of advice.”

  “And what is that?”

  “Be verra sure ye recognize when ye have ceased to be reasonably difficult to win and have become pigheaded and impossible.”

  Alana laughed. “As ye like to say—fair enough.”

  Chapter 18

  “Gone? When? Where?”

  Gregor stared at Fiona in shock and wondered why Ewan looked as if he wanted to smile. He had spent six days away from Scarglas readying himself to face Mavis and her father, carefully planning each and every word he would say to them. For most of the last ten miles of the ride home, he had repeated his speech over and over in his mind so that he would not stumble over the words once he confronte
d Mavis and her father. He had even made the effort to shake free of the anger he felt over the fact that they had come to his home uninvited, claimed a betrothal they knew did not exist, and caused Alana pain.

  He looked around the great hall and realized that there were only Fiona, Ewan, and himself in the room. Gregor was a little surprised that none of his large family had gathered to find out if they had brought back any interesting news, and then he began to get suspicious. Even the men they had ridden in with had disappeared, without even quenching their thirst. By the time Fiona finished the apple she had been eating, Gregor was close to demanding that she hurry and answer his questions. All that held his tongue was the knowledge that not only would Fiona be completely unmoved by his demands, but Ewan would probably knock him flat for yelling at her.

  “Mavis ran off with Brian,” Fiona finally said.

  After staring at her in disbelief for a moment, Gregor sat down and poured himself an ale. It took several deep drinks of the heady brew before his shock began to fade enough for him to think clearly. Ewan and Fiona both looked a little amused and decidedly smug as they watched him. That, added to the strange absence of any of his vast family, told Gregor that this was no great surprise to anyone but him.

  “And Laird Kerr?” he asked.

  “Set out after them the verra next morning, but he had verra little chance of catching them ere they were married, for they had many hours’ start on him.”

  “Ye suspected this would happen, didnae ye, Ewan,” Gregor said, fixing a hard stare on his elder brother. “’Tis why ye talked me into going to Ardgleann with ye. Ye wished to give Mavis and Brian time to decide that they were right for each other.”

  Ewan picked Fiona up in his arms, sat down in his chair, and settled her on his lap. “Oh, I think they had already decided upon that ere ye came home. Mavis had already been here for a sennight.”

  “Did ye want her, then?” asked Fiona.