"Had it in my reminders all along." Luke smiled and showed her the reminder in his cell phone.
"Wow! Luke wasn't lying. He must know the girl."
~He doesn't, and it IS his locker.~
"But she opened it."
~Sure she did. I bet the locker code was what Luke showed her on his reminder.~
"What are you all staring at? Don't you have a class to go to?" The girl turned away from the crowd and reached into the locker. Everyone dispersed.
~Stay here. Let's see what they'll do. See? The girl stepped aside and Luke took out his books. I told you it was his locker.~
"Why did he tape his own locker?"
~Who cares? Maybe he's as desperate as you are and tapes his own locker because no one else will do it for him.~
"Whatever. I need to be in math."
~You know what I'm thinking?~
"No and I don't care."
~Maybe it was Luke.~
"It was Luke what?"
~Maybe it was Luke who wrapped your locker. Remember? You came to school and someone gift wrapped your locker on your birthday. You took pictures but didn't know who it was.~
"I barely know him. He's in my first period and then in math. The last time Luke and I talked, Stanley was still alive. Even then we only talked like twice, maybe three times total."
~I still think Luke wrapped your locker. Ugh, math, I hate math.~
"You hate math! What about me? Mom insisted I'd be in accelerated math since the second grade and ever since then I've hated nothing more than this catching up game. I don't belong there with nerds like Leslie."
~What's wrong with Leslie? She's smart.~
"Exactly. And not just smart. She's condescending, competitive and obnoxiously right every single time she raises her hand. Sometimes I just want to grab her hand and yank it out of her shoulder socket."
~Ouch! That's harsh! Why would you wanna do that? She hasn't done anything to you.~
"Not yet, but I won't put it past her."
~You're kind of paranoid.~
"Maybe I have trust issues."
~Sometimes these conversations with you are very tiring.~
"So why are you still talking to me? I thought you'd get tired of this a long time ago."
~I'm talking to save my own self. I already said that a hundred times—you die, I die. You may not give a damn, but I sure as hell do!~
"What the—"
~Is this some kind of a coincidence?~
"You told me there is no such thing as a coincidence."
~So how do you explain this girl in your math class?~
"She took this class to be here with Luke."
~Yeah, right.~
"This is Angelica," Mr. Trabold announced in math. "She moved here from New York last week, and she'll be your classmate."
~Angelica. I like that name. It's unusual.~
"That name is almost as pretty as she is. I wonder if she's a nice person or another fake a-hole to add to a long list of people in this school."
~I have an inkling she may be the nice one. I mean the way she helped Luke before, a-holes don't do that.~
"We'll see. It could have been an act."
~It could have, but I bet it wasn't.~
"Did you see it?"
~Luke? Yeah, he smiled at her, and she smiled and nodded back.~
"She whispered something. Did you catch it?"
~I'm not sure but I think she said you're welcome.~
"I need to know now."
~Know what?~
"If Luke taped my locker!"
~Why don't you ask him?~
"Ask him? Just like that? What am I gonna say? Hey, dude, did you wrap my locker?"
~Yeah, why not? Go ahead, it's the perfect time—he's so close. You guys are practically walking next to each other to the cafeteria. Go for it! Don't be such a wimp!~
"Hey, Luke!"
"Yeah?" Luke said.
"Uhm, I wanted to ask you, uhm, did you by any chance wrap my locker on my birthday?"
"I hope you don't mind," Luke said.
"You did? Uhm, no, of course, I don't mind."
"Good."
"Uhm, why did you do that?"
"Stanley wrapped your locker last year. I helped him hold the paper while he taped it. I happened to remember the date," Luke said.
"Uhm..."
~Can you say anything other than uhm?~
"I miss him so much."
~Don't say that to him and don't cry now! You'll make Luke cry too, and some jerk like Ethan will see you two and have a field day!~
"I don't think I'll ever be able to stop missing him," Luke said.
~Oh, just shoot me! Help! Here she comes! Great! Angelica, help them!~
"What's up?" Angelica asked.
"Nothing."
~Is that all you can come up with? This awesome girl just asked you two to be her friends and you say nothing?~
"She didn't ask me to be her friend! That's ludicrous!"
~Of course she did!~
"Can I sit with you at lunch? I don't know anybody here, and you two seem like the only people I would even care to have a conversation with," Angelica said.
~See? I told you, haven't I?~
"You really think she wants to be our friend?"
~Stop asking me stupid questions and answer Angelica first!~
"Sure. That'd be great!"
~Sure. That'd be great! Can't you be more creative?~
"What do you want me to say? She's not asking for my biography."
~How about your name? Don't you have a name?~
"I don't like my name and you know it!"
~You have initials. If that's what you use instead of your name, you should tell her and stop being so rude!~
"I'm MJ and you already know Luke, I guess."
"Yeah, we met in the hallway. Right, Luke?"
"Uhm, yeah," Luke said. "Thanks."
~He's just as talkative as you are. No wonder you two ended up hanging on to Stanley like he was a lifeboat.~
"Don't mention it," Angelica said.
"Wait. You didn't know Luke when you came up to Ethan and took the cell phone?"
~She's awesome. I knew that.~
"No," Angelica said.
"Why did you do that? Why did you stand up to Ethan?" Luke asked.
"Nobody else was going to do it," Angelica shrugged.
~Nobody ever does anything, especially standing up to a jerk like Ethan!~
"Because everyone's too scared of him," Luke said.
"I wasn't," Angelica said.
"Why not?" Luke asked.
"What was he gonna do? Hit a girl? Even if he did, it's not like I haven't been hit before." Angelica made a face.
~Don't you feel like a weakling, MJ? You both are compared to this girl. And she didn't even know Luke. That's crazy.~
"Thanks again, Angelica," Luke said.
"Where do you sit?" Angelica said.
"Over there," Luke said.
~Come on! Say something. Are you mute?~
"What am I supposed to say? I can't just start a conversation like that."
~Like what? Like you say something and she answers? Seriously?~
ELEVEN
Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
how do you do the conversation thing with attractive people
~Seriously? Seriously? Still seriously? Will you ever go for at least one hashtag? It's so easy, it makes me want to scream! Here:~
Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
how do you do the conversation thing with attractive people #friendship #bestfriend #trust #SociallyAwkward
~Shut your Twitter and your phone and say something to her, or I'll shout in your head so loud, you'll think you're going mad.~
"So did you live in New York City?"
~See? That's how it's done. That's how even the attractive people converse. I knew you could do it.~
"I was born in New York City, but we moved when I was eight. Mom didn't want me to grow
up there."
"Why not?" Luke asked.
"Mom thought the city was too crowded and overwhelming."
"Was it?" Luke said. "Was it overwhelming?"
"I don't remember all that much anymore," Angelica said.
"What do you remember?"
~Good! Keep on conversing!~
"The noise, the smell, the colors..." Angelica shrugged.
"Colors?"
~Why did you ask? You see colors. Why wouldn't she see them?~
"It's impossible for kids as little as I was to remember anything at all. I was a baby. I do remember colors and noises, though. I don't know why. The first color I remember is bright blue. It's so bright, it still stings my eyes when I picture it in my head. Weird, right? But that's what I remember. The next thing I must have seen was some kind of a flash. I can't quite recall what it was. When I got a little bigger, I'd always tell Mom that I saw a dragon breathe a ball of fire that burned the skyline and turned it to ashes. I don't know how I came up with that. I must have dreamt it at some point. And then, everything was covered in this strange shade of white. For years I couldn't figure out what the exact color was, but now I can see it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. It was ashen, like a dust that covered the entire skyline. The last thing I remember is the noise, a lot of noise."
~What are you staring at? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?~
"I don't know what I'm thinking. Shall I ask?"
~Of course. Ask!~
"What day was that?"
~Yeah. You're thinking what I'm thinking.~
"9/11," Angelica said.
"You were in New York City on 9/11?" Luke's jaw dropped and people sitting close turned to him.
"Mom told me years later that my dad used to work long hours sometimes even on weekends. He'd leave for work before I'd wake up and come home after I was asleep. My mom used to have breakfast with my dad near his office every now and then. She'd take me with her so that Dad could see me awake."
"Did your dad work at one of the buildings?" Luke interrupted.
"Building number one, ninety-seventh floor. Mom said they always met at a cafe two blocks from the Twin Towers. She said Dad wanted to see my first morning smile at least one day a week. Like I said, I was a baby. I don't remember any of that family stuff. But then something happened, and from that moment on, I remember weird bits and pieces as if they happened yesterday.
"To this day, I can still feel my mom's arms enwrapping me while she ran outside. I think that's where I saw the bright blue color. She stood there for so long, I must have fallen asleep in her arms because the next thing I remember was this deafening, crashing sound that woke me up. It must have been the ‘dragon’ because I saw a ball of fire. Ashes must have fallen into my eyes because I can still feel the burning and scraping, even when I shut my eyes as tightly as I can. Then came the noise. It sounded from every direction. They were loud, earsplitting cries that still sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night. I don't know why I remember the screaming because I don't remember any people around me. I cannot picture a single person on that street because I was too small to remember anything at all. Still, somehow I know for sure my mom kept quiet. I don't think she made a single sound for the rest of the day."
~Oh, gosh, this is breaking my heart.~
"Be quiet. I'm trying to listen here."
"And then I remember all the colors wiped out by a thick paintbrush dipped in ashes. Everything turned light gray as if someone threw a bucket of that color all over me, my mom, and everything around us. Ashen gray. That's the color I saw for years. I thought the whole world was colorless as I was growing up."
"Do you remember your dad?"
~Isn't it rude to ask about her dad?~
"No. I don't remember him. Mom hardly ever talked about him. There was one thing I do remember. A few years later, I'm not sure exactly when—I was maybe three or four—Mom took me to the city. We rode the subway downtown and we walked close to where the Twin Towers collapsed. There was a huge, deep hole in the ground. We walked over to a nearby church that had an iron fence all around it. The fence was covered with cards and photos of people who died in the Twin Towers. Mom searched every piece of that fence until she found a weathered photo of my dad sealed in a protective piece of laminate. She took it off and put the picture in her coat pocket. "Who is it?" I asked her. "It's your daddy," she said. "It's time to take him home.""
~Blink those tears back in. Others are staring at the three of you.~
"That's easier said than done. How come you're not crying?"
~I AM the emotion. I don't need to shed real, wet tears to soak your wounded heart.~
"I am so sorry, Angelica," Luke said.
Angelica smiled. "Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn't tell you all of this to make you sad. You wanted to hear about New York so I told you what I remember the most. That's all. I'm not sad. Like I said, I was a baby on 9/11. I don't remember anything else but those few moments. It's a shame I didn't get to know my dad, but I don't miss him that much. Since I never really knew him, I don't know what I'm missing."
"Guys, the lunch break is over. We should go," Luke said.
"Do you want to hang out sometimes after school?" Angelica said.
"You mean like you and us?" Luke said.
"Yeah! What's your number? I'll text you mine. You too, MJ."
~Give her your number! Don't stand there like an imbecile.~
"Yeah, that'd be great."
~You are such a talker! Ask her something for me.~
"What?"
~I'm curious to know what kind of word she thinks ashen gray stands for.~
"What? What do you mean?"
~You know, the way you associate words with feelings or things. Please do it for me, okay?~
"Angelica, I was wondering, what do you think of when you see the color of ashen gray?"
"Despair," Angelica said.
"Despair?"
"Yeah. That's the only word I could come up with for as long as I can recall. It's like a color that can wipe out the skies, the trees, and the people, their feelings and emotions. It's almost colorless but thick enough not to let the picture through. It's like a cloud hanging over your head, protecting your mind from screaming."
~Wow! That's heavy. She's onto something. Despair. Definitely. Ashen gray is the color of despair.~
TWELWE
Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
there still isn't a special font for sarcasm
~And what would you need to use sarcasm for? What's that got to do with anything?~
"Isn't sarcasm your best weapon if you want to kill an annoying voice in your head?"
~What's so annoying about me? And why on Earth would you want to kill me? What have I ever done to you?~
"How about you never leave me alone? How about you never shut up?"
~You want me to keep quiet? I can do that. Let's start right now.~
Teenage Revenge @TeenageRevenge
there still isn't a special font for sarcasm #ungrateful #getlost #gotohell #annoyed
"What kind of hashtags are those?"
"Do you hear me? Why did you tweet that?"
"Oh! We're pouting! Go ahead. Unfriend, unfollow, untag me."
"Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you. Can you talk now?"
~Are you sure you want to listen to me?~
"Yes, I'm sure."
~What do you want to talk about?~
"Angelica."
~I knew it! I knew you didn't want to talk to me because you miss my voice. You just need someone to answer your babbling about your new friend.~
"Do you think she's for real, or is she just faking it to be interesting?"
~I think she's real. Why would she make up a story about her dad dying on 9/11?~
"To be interesting."
~There are better ways to do that. You don't make up stories about parents dying on 9/11. You just don't. Besides, there's a way to check her sto
ry. All you have to do is ask her what her father's name was. I'm sure you can Google the names of the people who died.~
"You're right. I believe her. So what do you think? Should I go and hang out with her sometime?"
~It depends.~
"On what?"
~On whether you care to stick around long enough to get to know her.~
"It's not totally out of the question."
~Then go ahead and hang out with her.~
"What about Luke? Should I hang out with him, too?"
~Absolutely! You two have a lot in common.~
"What could we possibly have in common?"
~Stanley for one. Seems like Luke liked him as much as you did. You both miss him a lot. I bet Luke is a loner like you. I could go on and on if you want.~
"That's enough. Okay, I'll hang out with him, too."
~Do you like her?~
"Who? Angelica?"
~Yeah.~
"She seems nice. I like that. I can't believe she just went ahead and told us all that stuff about her dad."
~Why not?~
"She doesn't know anything about us. I'd never tell someone I don't know something so personal."
~That's the difference between you and Angelica.~
"What do you mean?"
~She wasn't afraid to tell you something personal. You asked whether she grew up in New York City, and she told why she didn't. Just like that, no hidden agenda, plain truth, sad, personal and real.~
"Real. You're right. It did feel real. Maybe that's what I like about her. She's different, real."
~And she's texting you!~
"She is."
Today 8:55 PM
I'm having a get-to-know-some-new-people party at my house tomorrow at 7 p.m. Wanna come?
~C'mon! Text her back!~
Today 8:57 PM
Sure. What's your address?
Today 8:58 PM
1250 Highland Drive, it's the subdivision next to the sports park
Today 8:59 PM
I'll be there. Thanks for the invite.
Choking Game Page 7