The Desires of a Countess

by Jenna Petersen

  She shivered, but forced herself to concentrate.

  “Yes. But communicating was difficult. Long before he raised a hand to me, Henry isolated me in order to wield more and more control over me and my son. And I couldn’t see past my own pride until it was far too late. Too much damage had been done.”

  Simon drew her closer and his warmth enveloped her. “But it isn’t too late. You can reconcile with your family now that Henry no longer stands in the way. But you’ll have to start over. You’ll have to let them in.”

  She snuggled closer to him. She’d been having those same thoughts herself since she saw her mother and siblings standing in her foyer. Yes, she’d been furious at first, but when that had faded she longed to go back in time to when they’d been a family. When she hadn’t been so angry or so lonely.

  “I will let them see my son. And I’ll be polite to them if we pass each other at parties, but I can’t make a promise to you that I won’t be able to keep,” she whispered in a broken voice.

  He smiled as he tiled her face back toward him and kissed her again. This time, he traced her lower lip with his tongue and she found herself arching against him. She managed to pull away and take a deep breath of air to calm her pounding heart. She just had to know one thing before she gave in to the seductive feel of him beside her in her bed.

  “Simon?”

  “Yes?” he asked as he nuzzled her throat and stole her thoughts again.

  “Did you make love to me in order to talk to me about allowing my family back into my life?”

  He let out a low chuckle as he trailed his hand down her body. “No.” Slowly, his fingers found their way to the warmth between her legs and he began to stroke her. “I came here fully intending to drag you to that ball.”

  She let out a muted moan as stars began to shimmer in front of her eyes. “And now?” she choked out.

  “I never guaranteed you’d make it to the party,” he said with a smile as he quickened the pace of his fingers. “I think I’d much rather stay here.”

  She let out a strangled moan as she approached another climax. The things the man could do with just his hands.

  “Yes, I’d much rather stay here and do this.” With a twist of his wrist, he sent her soaring over the edge. He caught her cry with his mouth as he rolled over on top of her and slowly inched his way into her body.

  As Ginny wrapped her arms around him, she thought of his words. If she could gain so much from letting this man into her life, perhaps it was time to open herself back up to her family. It was a risk, but it could be one worth taking.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ginny held back an unladylike yawn as she paused at the door to the parlor where Simon awaited her. Of course she was tired, how could she not be? She’d been up all night making love to the man, but there had been no way to tell her maid that when Nora had come in to wake her not three hours after Simon had snuck away with a heated kiss filled with promise for other nights.

  She pushed the parlor door open and watched with appreciation as he rose to his feet. Simon was the kind of man who could look pulled together even after two hours sleep. In fact, she couldn’t imagine a situation where he wouldn’t look as devastating as he did at that very moment.

  “Good morning,” he said as he pulled a bouquet of lilacs from behind his back. “For you, because I can’t smell them without thinking of your skin.”

  Her cheeks heated with a flush of pleasure. She peeked around to make sure no one was watching, then rose to her tiptoes to kiss Simon full on the lips.

  He only allowed the caress for a far-too-brief moment before he pulled back with a groan. “We can’t start that again, as much as I would love to.”

  She laughed as she set her lilacs down and motioned to a seat. She had no idea where the relationship between them was going, but she knew one thing: this couldn’t last forever. Simon would return to his ship eventually. And while she felt safer in London from her own secrets, the longer they were associated, the more likely it was he would discover what she’d done.

  A shiver wracked her before she pushed the thought away. Until she was forced to do so, she wasn’t going to face that reality. She’d live in the present with Simon until the future came to tear them apart.

  “You look very rested for a man who got no sleep,” she teased.

  His eyes darkened with heat. “A night with you is better than forty winks, I assure you.” He smiled. “But I didn’t come here to seduce you, even though the idea of taking you upstairs has a great deal of merit.”

  She feigned a pouting face, though her blood heated at the thought of such a suggestion. “If you didn’t come here to finish what we started last night, then why are you here?”

  “I thought you might want to come to an event with me today.”

  Her smile fell. “Oh, Simon, I really don’t want to do anything in Society. The ball tomorrow is quite terrifying enough to me.”

  Simon’s own jovial demeanor became more serious as he reached out to take her hand. Instantly she was soothed by his touch.

  “Ginny, this won’t be terrifying.” He locked eyes with her. “I promise you.”

  She cocked her head as she examined his face. There were many things that she was still unsure she could trust Simon with, but this wasn’t one of them. If he said she wouldn’t be afraid, she believed him. Especially if he planned to stay at her side.

  “Very well. What is it you want me to do?”

  With a grin, he helped to her to feet and placed a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. “You’re coming with me to meet my mother.”

  With that, he took her arm before she could argue.

  ***

  Simon watched Ginny twist the fingertip of her glove as they sat in his mother’s parlor awaiting her arrival. He liked that she was nervous about meeting his family. It meant she wanted to make a good impression.

  But he had no such excuse for his own anxiety. He hadn’t seen his mother for months, not even when he’d passed through London on his way to Westdale. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her. On the contrary, he adored her, but he hated to see the pain in her eyes that he couldn’t take away, no matter what he bought to do so.

  “Simon!”

  The shaking female voice at the parlor door snapped him from his thoughts. He rose to his feet and hurried to the woman who had entered. He looked nothing like his mother with her dark blonde hair and green eyes. Even in looks he favored his father. He had always regretted that, for he guessed it hurt his mother to look at her son and see a constant reminder of the man who had deserted her.

  “Mother.”

  He hugged her and gave her a subtle appraisal. She looked tired, but pleased to see him and she seemed healthy. Like she had been eating, which he hadn’t always been able to say over the years that she’d gone without to give him a chance to succeed.

  “Oh, Simon, you look wonderful.” She reached up to touch his face. “A little tired, you should get more sleep.”

  He turned his twinkling gaze on Ginny, who blushed.

  His mother continued talking without pausing for breath. “You should shave closer, my dear, you’re very stubbly.”

  “I shave each and every morning, Mother,” he sighed.

  “You seem leaner than the last time I saw you.” She poked at his belly. “Are you eating on that ship of yours? I told Adam to make sure you ate.”

  Simon laughed. “I weigh exactly the same.” Again, he met Ginny’s eyes and loved how she was covering a giggle in her hand at his mother’s constant questions. “Now, perhaps you’d like to meet my guest?”

  His mother turned with a start. “Oh, forgive me. I haven’t seen my son in so long that I completely forgot my manners. I didn’t even see you there, my dear.”

  “It’s quite all right,” Ginny reassured her as she stepped forward.

  “Mother, this is Virginia Blanchard, Henry’s widow.” He frowned as his mother grew pale, then covered her reaction with a smile. “And
Ginny, this is my mother, Sarah Webber.”

  “Lady Westdale.” His mother took her hand with both her own. “I am sorry for your loss. I wasn’t close to my nephew, but I do know what it’s like to grieve. I apologize that I didn’t make it to the service.”

  Ginny shook her head, but the light in her eyes faded as she was forced to go through the motions of a widow. Simon almost regretted bringing her, but he knew that once they moved past these awkward moments, the two women would like each other.

  “Mrs. Webber, don’t take a moment’s worry about not coming to Westdale. York is a terrible journey in the summer, let alone when there is snow on the ground.”

  “Thank you, my dear. Why don’t we sit down and have tea? I see Marsden brought the tray in already, the dear man. Simon you do hire excellent staff.” She smiled at her son and the tension in the room eased.

  “I did my best. After all, you deserve to be waited on after all these years of sacrifice.”

  His mother smiled, but sadness had come into her eyes. “Simon, how many times must we go over this? I don’t need you to buy back what I lost.”

  “What was taken from you,” Simon corrected with heat. The subject always infuriated him. “By the ton and by my father.”

  An uncomfortable silence filled the room and Simon grimaced. He had embarrassed his mother in front of a guest. How was she to know that Ginny could understand her plight?

  Ginny cleared her throat. “The ton can be a treat, can’t they?” she asked. “I’ve been lucky enough to avoid the nastier aspects of Society while I’ve been isolated in the countryside. But perhaps together we could face them now that I’m here.”

  His mother’s fair skin darkened to red. “Oh, my dear, I appreciate your kindness, but I’m normally not invited to events in Society. I married a man out of that realm and when he left…” Her voice faded off.

  The muscle in Simon’s jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth together. “So you didn’t receive an invitation to Lady Hornsbey’s ball tomorrow evening?”

  “No.”

  His mother’s quiet answer spoke volumes and Simon barely held back the urge to swear. After everything he’d done to give his mother back her place, nothing worked. He’d given money to charities, helped influential people. He’d even given Hornsbey’s husband a bargain on some shipping. And all for nothing.

  “That must be an oversight,” Ginny said. He turned to see her blue eyes soft with understanding. She could tell how important Society was to his mother, and she appreciated how much being cut hurt. “I will be attending and I’d like to invite you to come with me. Simon will be there, won’t you?”

  He drew back. Somehow he hadn’t expected she’d ask him to escort her. A few stolen hours in her bed was one thing, but he didn’t belong in her world.

  “If you’d like me to accompany you, I will,” he said with a small nod. “What do you say, Mother?”

  Sarah’s eyes brimmed with tears as she nodded to Ginny. “It would be nice to see old friends. Some of them still come by to see me, especially since Simon moved me into this lovely townhouse, but most are too afraid to buck the matrons and ask me to parties and teas.”

  Simon’s mouth thinned. He wouldn’t call cowards like that friends, but they were important to his mother. And Ginny had given her something he’d been trying to do for years. She’d easily opened a door that had been closed to her by small-minded people who enjoyed tearing others down more than they enjoyed keeping good company.

  Ginny sighed. “To be honest with you, Mrs. Webber, I would be happy for your companionship. It’s my first ball in years and I’m not sure how well I’ll do.”

  Sarah caught her hand with hers. “Then we’ll muddle through together.”

  Ginny’s face lightened and the gorgeous smile Simon was always trying to coax out of her flashed to her lips with blinding beauty. It took all his self-control not to grab her and kiss her right then and there.

  Yes, things were looking up.

  “I must announce you first.”

  Simon turned his head at the sudden commotion in the hallway.

  “What could that be?” his mother asked as she released Ginny’s hand and rose to her feet.

  Simon shrugged. “I have no idea.”

  “Announce me?” The intruder screeched. “There’s no need. I don’t want to give anyone the chance to pretend they’re away.”

  His mother paled at the grating voice in the hall and Ginny stood on shaky legs. “Cordelia,” she whispered.

  The door flew open and Simon’s Aunt Cordelia burst in. Simon’s eyes narrowed. All hell was about to break loose.

  ***

  Ginny knees began to buckle as her mother-in-law burst into the room like a hurricane, but somehow she managed to stay on her feet. She had learned over the years to remain strong because her husband’s family members were like hyenas. They would swarm at the first sign of weakness. Still, she felt like she might lose the precarious hold she had on her breakfast and prayed she wouldn’t get sick on Mrs. Webber’s lovely carpet.

  “You.” Cordelia took two steps toward Ginny and stuck out a bony finger. “I heard you had come to town. Why didn’t you write me?”

  Ginny swallowed back her fear and struggled for an answer, but Simon was quicker. “I’m afraid that’s my fault, Aunt Cordelia. I insisted on making the trip on very short notice. Lady Westdale didn’t have time to write to anyone.”

  Ginny held back a smug smile as Cordelia winced. How she’d hated seeing her old title go to Ginny when her husband died. Sometimes she wondered if her mother-in-law missed the name more than she did her husband.

  “You should have sent word that you were here so I could see my grandson. Where is he?” she snapped.

  This time Ginny was ready and set her jaw in preparation for a fight. “He’s with his governess. He’s a little young to enjoy a boring tea with friends.” She smiled at Sarah, who looked as terrified as she felt. Cordelia had that effect on people. “You’re welcome to come to the townhouse to see him if you’d like.”

  She cringed at the thought of Cordelia taking over her home and bringing her ugliness into its walls. But she’d sworn she wouldn’t allow her personal feelings for Henry or his family to keep Jack from them. And Cordelia hadn’t spit any venom her grandson’s way yet.

  But God help her if she ever did.

  “I didn’t think you’d receive me at my son’s townhouse.”

  Ginny barely resisted the urge to point out that Henry was dead and that nothing was his anymore, but forced herself to smile. “I would never keep you from Jack.”

  Cordelia sputtered as she always did when her poison was met with civility. It was a tactic Ginny had to bite her tongue to use, but it served her well. Later she would be free to ponder all the nasty things she wanted to say to the witch.

  “Sarah.” Cordelia turned her eyes on her sister-in-law next. “It makes sense that Virginia would be here with you, both of you are outcasts. You ought to suit well.”

  Ginny had watched Simon standing in the corner since Cordelia had come in. Though it was obvious he despised the hag as much as she did, he’d kept his mouth shut and had let her handle her mother-in-law in her own way. But now he stepped forward with eyes blazing blue-green fire and fists clenched at his sides. She’d called him the devil before, but he looked capable of bringing hell itself down on anyone who crossed him.

  “And why wouldn’t my mother and Lady Westdale be accepted by the ton?” he asked in a tone that was deceptively quiet and calm.

  Cordelia’s eyes widened, but Ginny knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t take the warning that crackled around Simon. She wouldn’t let the subject drop or mutter a false apology.

  “Because I plan to snub Virginia. She was a poor wife to my son.” She turned back to Ginny with folded arms. “His death was your fault.”

  The bile rose into Ginny’s throat as she took a few steps back. Oh God, Cordelia knew. She knew the truth and everything was
over.

  “If he had only been satisfied,” her mother-in-law continued. “Perhaps he wouldn’t have ridden out that terrible night and fallen.” Her eyes narrowed further though Ginny recognized the pain that was also in their pointed stare. However she felt about the woman, Cordelia had loved her son. “You might as well have murdered him yourself.”

  Her heart pounded in her ears and throat as Ginny struggled to remain calm. Cordelia didn’t know the truth after all, but she was dancing treacherously close to it. She couldn’t let the horrible memories sparked by her mother-in-law’s words take over. She had to focus.

  “Cordelia-” she whispered.

  Her mother-in-law ignored Ginny’s interruption and spun back on Sarah instead. “And as for Sarah, she hasn’t been welcomed by the ton for a long while.” Her smile broadened as Sarah flinched. “That wasn’t my doing, but your own father’s, Simon.”

  Except for his one warning, Simon had stood curiously quiet for his aunt’s entire tirade, but Ginny felt the fury growing in him with every one of her dreadful, pointed words.

  “Are you quite finished, madam?” he asked in that strange, low voice again.

  Cordelia turned to him with an ugly smile. “Quite.”

  “Then allow me to reply.”

  Like a charging bull, he took two steps toward his aunt. Cordelia jumped at his sudden advance and the absolute terror that lit up in her eyes made Ginny laugh inside. It served the witch right after all the pain she’d caused.

  “You are a vicious, gossip-mongering biddy who is bitter to her very core and not nearly as important as she thinks she is. Although you are obviously an idiot to talk to my mother and Virginia that way in front of me, even a featherbrain such as yourself must realize the power a man in my position yields, despite not being recognized by the ton. If you snub Virginia now or any time in the future, you will pay for it.” He leaned in closer and Cordelia actually trembled. “And if you ever speak to or about my mother in that fashion again, I will have you feel the full extent of my wrath and you’ll wish you hadn’t a tongue to speak again. Do you understand me?”