Beefcake & Retakes

by Fennell, Judi

  “I wasn’t expecting even you.”

  He yanked the curtain closed. “You said you wanted to talk.”

  Not exactly the place to have a coherent conversation because her brain was fast losing its sharpness the longer he stood there. “I wasn’t exactly thinking we’d talk in the shower.”

  “Good.”

  And that was the last word he said for a very long time.

  Oh, lord. It’d been so long since they’d made love in the shower. Juliet wanted to know why now, but with his tongue in her mouth, she wasn’t about to ask him.

  She certainly wasn’t about to bring up the money either because his hands felt so good sliding over her body that was still slick with soap, pulling her against him as the water cascaded over them. She had to close her eyes, but that was just a precursor for when the feelings got too intense. In the past, they’d tried to look at each other to the end at times, but there always was that moment when Tanner would take her out of herself and she had no control over her actions; she was just responding to what he was doing to her.

  This was one of those times.

  His hands cupped her bottom and he turned to the side, wrapping her legs around his waist as he pressed her up against the wall.

  “I want you, Juliet, “ he growled into her neck.

  “Okay,” was all she managed to pant out. The water was hitting her on the forehead, making it hard to talk and breathe, but she wasn’t going to ask him to stop.

  She turned her head to the side, resting it against his forehead as he licked his way up her neck to her lips while his cock twitched against her.

  God, she wanted him inside her.

  And then he was.

  It was as natural and right as it’d ever been between them. As if seven years hadn’t passed. As if the other night hadn’t been the first in so long. They still knew each other. Still knew where to touch and where to kiss and lick and nip. How to breathe with their tongues making love to each other, how and when to grasp and tighten, when to release only to build the tension again.

  She and Tanner worked in tandem. They always had in everything—well, everything but what she’d screwed up.

  Her breath hitched and she missed a movement in their rhythm.

  “Juliet?” Tanner pulled back to look at her, the concern in his eyes wanting to make her cry.

  Thank God for the shower; he’d never know that a few tears leaked out.

  “Don’t stop, Tanner.” She pulled his lips back to hers, not saying the rest of that sentence. Don’t stop loving me.

  He hiked her up a little more against the wall, spreading his legs beneath him, and he rocked into her.

  Juliet moaned. God, he felt so good.

  He dug his fingers into her hair, turning her head to just the right angle. Juliet clenched her thighs around him, smiling when he hissed.

  “Like that?” she managed to murmur between tongues.

  He growled and thrust deeper inside her.

  Juliet couldn’t hold back the tears then. This was no after-party, hyped-up hormonal thing. This wasn’t haven’t-see-you-in-so-long sex. This was Tanner opening her door, coming into her shower with the express purpose of doing this with her. He’d made that decision and she was so very hopeful to find out why.

  Bur first…

  She wiggled against him. He needed to keep thrusting. She didn’t have much opportunity to do more than wiggle being caught between his glorious warm chest and the cold wall tile with soap slicking their bodies.

  “More, Tanner.” She groaned. “I want more.”

  With a toe-tingling kiss, he gave her more.

  Tanner clenched her butt as he moved in and out of her, and he made love to her mouth with his tongue, holding her head so that she couldn’t go anywhere—not that she would. All she wanted—all she’d ever wanted—was right here in this shower with her.

  His thrusts quickened. She slid one hand down to his backside. Tanner had an amazing backside. She grasped it, pulling him into her with this rhythm.

  “Yes, Juliet. That’s it. Touch me, sweetheart.”

  She ran her other hand up his side and over his nipple. He gasped when she did that… So she did it gain.

  He pulled back—not too far, but enough for her to know she didn’t want him to go even that far.

  “You’re not playing fair,” he said harshly.

  “Did you want fair? Or did you want great sex?”

  The heated look in his eyes answered that question. “You, Juliet. I want you.”

  He didn’t give her the chance to answer as he thrust into her again, taking her to that place where she could only feel. She’d think later.

  Juliet felt like heaven. Wrapped around him, clenching him internally… It was impossible to feel where his body ended and hers began.

  It’d always been like this between them. There’d never been a time when he hadn’t felt this all-encompassing togetherness when they’d made love.

  If only they’d both held onto it.

  Her heels banged into his ass, keeping his pace. This too, had always been good between them; they picked up the other’s rhythm perfectly.

  He angled his hips, remembering how that’d sent her skyrocketing into the stratosphere and now was no different. Her eyes flew open and she looked at him—really looked at him, there in the moment with him, seeing into his soul and showing him all of hers.

  Juliet was love. For him, by him, in him… He’d been so wrong not to give them another try.

  He wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

  Her muscles spasmed around him, and that was all it took. He followed her so powerfully, it was as if fireworks were going off in the air around them.

  Jesus God, she felt so good.

  So right.

  Shivers raced over them, aftershocks. They’d always laughed about them before, but now… he couldn’t laugh. Hell, he could barely form a coherent sentence and all he wanted to do was stay like this forever.

  But of course, he couldn’t. The water grew cold, her legs lost their grip, and he had to ease himself out of her to let her down.

  He reached over to turn off the faucet. “Cold?”

  She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “Not in the least.”

  God, he loved her.

  He cupped her face. Brushed his thumb over that bottom lip so she’d give it to him. Then slid his thumb between her lips.

  She licked it and his dick sprang to life as if it hadn’t just had one of the most shattering orgasms he’d ever had.

  “Don’t.” He shook his head, not quite sure what he was asking her not to do.

  She nipped his thumb instead. It had the same reaction.

  Tanner sighed, a shuddering one, unsure of what to say. He’d stormed in here all purposeful and full of testosterone, with the need to claim her as his wife. And now…

  Now, he had to tell her what he wanted. Her. Her life. Their life.

  And maybe even a child

  A chil—Shit. He hadn’t used a condom.

  “What’s wrong?” Juliet gripped his arms.

  “We didn’t use a condom.”

  “Oh.” She nibbled her bottom lip again, but this time he was too worried about what they’d just done to think about it being sexy.

  Well, almost too worried.

  “What are we going to do, Juliet?”

  “There’s that morning after pill. I’ll just go get that. No worries, Tanner. I’m not trying to make you stay.”

  He deserved that. But she did, too. It was a valid reaction on his part if he’d thought that.

  If.

  But he hadn’t. She hadn’t expected him to show up in her shower and when he had, he hadn’t given her the chance to even remind him about birth control. And since he hadn’t been thinking along those lines, there was no rule that said she should be.

  There was a reason a lot of the population could call themselves “oops” babies.

  He wouldn’t mind an “oops
” baby.

  He sucked in a deep breath. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t take that pill.”

  “But—”

  “Let’s do this, Juliet.”

  She cocked her head, her beautiful eyes narrowed. “Define this. Because we just did this and now we’re having a discussion about morning after pills and condoms. Things we should have discussed beforehand.”

  He grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “Us. Let’s do us again.”

  Her fingers flexed and she sucked in a breath. “Tanner, what are you saying?”

  He kissed her hands again. “Not here. This is not the place I want to have this discussion. Can you be dressed in about ten minutes? I’d like to go someplace special for this conversation.”

  “I can do it in five.”

  He laughed at her then. “The Juliet I knew ten years ago couldn’t have done it in a half hour, let alone five minutes.”

  “I’m not that Juliet.”

  “I know.”

  He swatted her on the butt playfully when she walked out of the room ahead of him, laughing when she squealed and shoved her hands behind her to cover herself.

  “Too late. I’ve already seen every part of you, Jules. I know how perfect your butt is.”

  She looked back over her shoulder, a blush blazing in her cheeks. Juliet was like that; could be a tiger in the bedroom but would blush about it when he teased her outside of it.

  He’d missed the teasing.

  He ran into his room and threw on a t-shirt and shorts. He was going to take her to the field. The one filled with bluebonnets. They’d talk and they’d work things out and then… then he’d make love to her there. Again. A new beginning.

  He looked at the nightstand. He’d put the condoms in there—and that was where they’d stay.

  Maybe today could be a whole slew of new beginnings.

  Juliet didn’t quite make it in five minutes. It was closer to eight, but Tanner was willing to give her all the time she’d need as long as she showed up.

  And she did, in a sexy little sundress and her wet hair pulled back in a bun. “Will this do?”

  “God, yes, Jules. That’ll do.” All he could imagine was getting his hands under that dress and shimmying it over her head.

  Maybe they’d talk later. Maybe right now, he could take her back to bed and they could talk there.

  No. He wanted to do this right. Wanted it not to be about making love—at least until after they ironed out their past and talked about their future.

  He very much wanted one for them. Together.

  “Ready to go?”

  “Can’t wait.”

  Tanner opened the door for her and—

  His father stood there, hand raised to knock.

  Rick had been right; his father looked different. Too thin, his hair gray and thinning, his clothes hanging off him. Mom thought this was better? “Dad.”

  “Son.”

  Tanner winced. He was rarely “Tanner” when his father spoke to him. “Son” was a more important status it seemed than who he actually was. “What are you doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you. Your mother told me I’d find you here.”

  Juliet gripped his arm. “Um, Tanner? I think—”

  Tanner held up his hand. Juliet didn’t need to worry; she was more important than his father. What they had to discuss was far more important. “It’s going to have to wait. Juliet and I were just going out.”

  “Actually, it can’t. I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

  He was torn. He wanted to hear his father out, but he wanted to start his life together with Jules.

  His father stepped over the threshold. “I just need a few minutes. It won’t take long.”

  Tanner looked at Juliet. She stood there, her fingers tight on his arm, nibbling on her bottom lip again. He wasn’t sure why.

  “Sweetheart? Are you okay? I don’t have to do this now.”

  “I think you do, Son.”

  He didn’t even look at his father. The day the man called him by his name would be the day he’d start to feel as if he mattered to the guy. Until then, as far as Tanner was concerned, Palston Wentworth was just the guy responsible for almost losing his mother’s home.

  “Go, Tanner.’ Juliet pulled a shaky smile onto her face and wrapped her arms around her waist. “But remember, I love you. I always have. And I always will.”

  The words were what he wanted to hear, but her tone…

  His instincts rose. Something was up. It was as if… as if she knew what his father was going to say and knew he wasn’t going to like it.

  More secrets?

  The glow from their lovemaking dimmed and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what either one of them had to say.

  But he was going to.

  “Fine.” He grabbed the car keys off the hook by the wall. “I’ll be back, Jules. And then we’ll talk.” He brushed past his father without looking at him. “Let’s go.”

  Juliet watched them drive away. Watched her future go with it.

  It would come out. The money for the mortgage.

  She should have told him right away. Should have called him. Something so important shouldn’t have had to wait.

  When would she learn that the truth had to come out? That there was nothing to be gained by holding back and everything to lose?

  Once more, she was going to lose Tanner.

  She sucked in a painful breath. Once more, she was going to have to pick up the pieces and go on. Alone. And this time, really alone. Her father had been right. Much as she’d hoped Sandy and Nana had—

  Nana.

  Oh, God, Nana.

  Juliet had to tell her. Now. Before she heard about it on her own.

  She had to come clean. Tell Nana why this had happened. Assure her she would be okay. That they’d all be okay.

  She settled a hand on her abdomen, trying to calm her breathing. She could do this. She’d had enough practice. It wasn’t he end of the world. Her world, yes, but not the world.

  She grabbed her keys and her purse. Nana deserved the truth.

  They all did.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Slow down, Son.” His father braced his hand on the dash.

  “Don’t tell me what to do.” Tanner almost gunned the engine more, but that would be even more childish than that response. One he wasn’t going to apologize for.

  “Never could, could I?”

  “Are you kidding me?” He glanced at his dad. “You were always telling me what to do. What plays to throw, how to up my workouts, what I should eat, how much sleep, when I could and couldn’t go out—”

  “I was trying to get you in shape for a career in football. You were the one who wasn’t as serious as you should have been.”

  Tanner gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. “I was plenty serious. Got that scholarship, didn’t I?”

  “Which you then lost by being more interested in getting laid than making a name for yourself.”

  He counted to ten before answering. “You’re just pissed because you couldn’t bet on my games anymore.”

  “That was a low blow, Tanner.”

  “If the shoe fits.” Apparently, low blows were what his father associated with his name. Great. This ought to be a banner of a conversation. Talk about going from the highs to the lows… Making love to Juliet one minute then being belittled by his father the next. “What are you doing here, Dad? What did you want to talk about?”

  “Go to Missy’s Diner. We shouldn’t have this conversation while you’re driving.”

  “And having it in public is so much better?”

  “I’m not here to fight with you, Tanner. I’m here to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  His father waved his hand toward the strip mall on the left. “Go to Missy’s. I could use a cup of coffee.”

  Gripping the wheel,
Tanner made the left a little too aggressively. He hated when his father ordered him around. Especially when he was going to be bailing him out.

  He pulled into the parking space right by the entrance, slammed it into Park, and got out, clicking the fob to lock the door almost before his father had a chance to shut the door.

  He strode to the booth farthest from the door. The less people to hear this conversation, the better. Luckily, Missy’s wasn’t crowded at this time of day. It’d be nice if they could turn up the Muzak to muffle the conversation, but Tanner couldn’t control everything.

  That was what was bugging the shit out of him. His father was calling the shots. Just like always. It’d been the one thing he hadn’t missed when he’d moved away.

  Juliet hadn’t been one of those things he hadn’t missed, no matter how much he’d tried to convince himself she had been.

  Missy came over to their booth with a coffee pot in each hand. “Decaf or regular?”

  Her father flipped his mug over. “Regular.”

  “None for me, thanks.” He was wired enough as it was.

  Missy poured then gave them the menus.

  “Not hungry.” Tanner set the menu on the edge of the table.

  His father took a few seconds then handed it to her. “I’ll have a grilled cheese. American, no pickles.”

  “Sounds good.” Missy smiled at him. “If you change your mind, Tanner, just whistle.”

  She hadn’t changed in all these years. It’d been the same thing she’d said to him when he’d been in high school when her father had run the place. Thankfully, she was only about four years older than him, so it hadn’t been inappropriate. But he wasn’t anymore interested now than he’d been back then. He would never want any other woman but Juliet.

  And he wanted to get the hell back to her to tell her so. “So what is it, Dad? What’s so important to say to me that I had to interrupt my time with Juliet?”

  “About that…” His father steepled his fingers and took his time before answering him. “I’m sorry for what I put you through growing up. With my gambling. I know the stress it added to our household and I know you resent me for it. Rightfully so.”

  Tanner sat back. He hadn’t expected this. He’d never thought he’d see the day that his father would apologize. Dad had always said he didn’t have a problem. Had been adamant about it. Had said that things would turn around. And that it was none of Tanner’s business.