BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection)

by Jameson, Jasmine

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen between us but I would give anything to make it better.”

  “Aw, Gia, I’m sorry to hear that things aren’t perfect, but I know everything will work out as it’s supposed to. This is the best relationship I’ve seen you in. I’m certain things will work out. You and Christoff are like best friends. In the beginning, I didn’t approve of you dating rockstars, but Christoff seems like a good guy… well as good as a guy in show biz can be. I don’t think it’s possible to have a normal healthy relationship with anyone in showbiz no matter how hard you try.”

  “I hate to admit it, but I totally agree. But why would you say that you’ve been with Peyton for three years? You’re in the industry, and he’s in the industry. But you two have somehow found a way to make it work.”

  “I haven’t talked about this to anyone yet.” Amber shifted in her seat and let out a deep sigh. “I haven’t been able to because I’ve been so busy with the tour, so I’ve just been stewing in my own resentment.”

  “Oh, Amber, you could have called me on Skype. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  “Peyton hooked up with another girl while I was overseas on tour.” I stifled a gasp.

  “No.”

  “They didn’t have sex, but they made out. It was a nineteen year old pop artist whose album he’s producing. He swore it didn’t mean anything. He said he was drunk at a party, and she was really stroking his ego. She came on to him, and his temptation just got the best of him. He said I’m the only woman he could ever love and actually be with. He said the hook up with- I don’t even want to say her name. The hook up with the little nineteen-year-old was a mistake that happened because she found his weakness. He just wanted to be admired, and that young girl gave that to him, and one thing lead to another. I guess since we had been together so long, I had been lazy in the relationship, and didn’t let him know how much I appreciated him. He’s my long-term boyfriend, so I guess I kind of forgot how to flirt with him and make him feel wanted. Even though I know part of this was my fault, I’m so angry at him.”

  “It’s not your fault Amber. Don’t blame yourself. If he wasn’t feeling appreciated, he should have come to you and talked to you about it.”

  “He probably wanted to but I was pretty unavailable during the tour.” As Amber spoke, I realized how similar her situation was to mine, though we were on the opposite sides of the problem. I wondered why stories of unfaithfulness were following me everywhere I went. I realized that I should take my own advice. When I felt unappreciated, I should have tried to talk to Christoff instead of hooking up with Axel behind his back. But everything happened so fast and Axel was giving me what I needed in the moment. I knew what I did was wrong and the same went for Peyton’s actions, but I understood more than anyone how a slip up like that could happen.

  “Are you going to forgive him?” I placed my hand on top of Amber’s to offer my support.

  “I want to, but I don’t know if I can. I told him I needed some time to think. I haven’t talked to him in five days. Even though he said he was sorry, I hate him for what he did.”

  “Oh, Amber, I know it hurts, but sometimes these things happen. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Don’t hate him for it. He was just being human.” Amber snatched her hand away from me and cut me a glare that turned my stomach.

  “I can’t believe you are taking his side Gia! Since when did you start empathizing with unfaithful men? I thought you were better than that.” Amber’s voice was shrill. Her words hit hard. I felt like she was judging me.

  “Don’t take out your anger towards Peyton out on me. I’m just trying to get you to see both sides. People in relationships have needs, and if those needs aren’t being met, sometimes they can’t resist the temptation to go elsewhere. If that temptation is thrust upon them in a moment of weakness, it’s hard to be strong. That’s all I’m saying. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t judge me for trying to give you some perspective.”

  “I don’t know what happened to you while I was gone, but your perspective is clearly warped. I don’t want to talk to you about this anymore. It’s just upsetting me.” We sat in silence for several minutes and just stared at our menus.

  “Amber, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just felt like you were judging me,” I said quietly.

  “I feel like you’re judging me too. You clearly think I was a bad girlfriend to Peyton.”

  “No, I don’t think that at all, but I know what he’s going through being in a relationship with someone whose main priority is their music. That is no excuse to cheat, but I’m just saying that I know how it can happen. Amber, you are amazing, and Peyton is lucky to have you. I’m not going to give any more of my opinion on the matter, because I don’t want to upset you. I know that you’ll make the right decision. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.”

  Amber’s scowl softened. After a few moments of silence she spoke.

  “Thanks Gia. You know no matter what happens in my life, and, even if I lose my temper with you sometimes, I’ll always love you. You’re the best best-friend I ever had.”

  “I love you too Amber. No matter what happens we’ll always have each other.”

  I reached over and pulled Amber into a long embrace. I didn’t know if I could ever tell her about my indiscretion, but I was so grateful to have her as my rock and to be hers as well during the choppy times of our relationships with our men. For the rest of our time together we didn’t talk about our relationships, we just reminisced on the good times we’ve had together and on the exciting times ahead in our careers.

  ***

  It was the day that I had been anticipating and dreading at the same time. Christoff was due back home in just an hour. I just wanted to get back into the routine of normal life with him and forget about all of the problems that we were having before. And I definitely wanted to let go of what happened with Axel. I was so overcome with guilt I didn’t know what to do with myself. The sound of the kitchen door opening startled me. Christoff was early.

  “Gia, I’m home,” Christoff called out. I raced down stairs and jumped into his arms. Even though I felt like my world was upside down, being in his arms brought me peace.

  “Welcome home, Christoff.” I buried my face in his chest.

  “It’s good to be back, Gia. Change into your bikini and let’s relax in the hot tub. We need to talk, and I have some champagne waiting for you out there.”

  After we changed into our bathing suits, Christoff and I walked out to the back deck in silence. I watched as rivets of water danced across Christoff’s perfectly chiseled abs as he slipped beneath the pulsing jets. I slid in and sat across from him. The heat of the water felt good against the cool evening breeze. Christoff looked over at me. There was an intensity in his gaze.

  “I don’t like to drag things out so I’ll get right to the point,” Christoff said quietly. I shifted my weight in anticipation.

  “Gia, after being away from you for so long, I realized that I can’t stand being without you. I want to apologize for losing my patience with you the day that I left. And I want to own up to what a dick I was for not staying in better contact with you while I was gone. I’m sorry, and I hope that you can forgive me. I’ve had some time to think, and I’m ready to move past all the issues we’ve been having lately and really make this work. Before we got together, you were open enough with me to express your reservations about being in a relationship. I really appreciated how you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with me and how you were honest with yourself and with me about the emotional challenges that you may have. I promised you that I would hold your hand through everything you’re going through, so I wanted to step up and do that. I feel honored to be your man, Gia. All I ask is that you do your best to trust me and that you just allow me to provide a good life and make you happy. Does that sound reasonable?”

  My heart sank. Christoff was so patient and emotionally mature. I had never been loved like this before.
After what happened with Axel, I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I thought about coming clean but it just didn’t feel like the right time. I opened my mouth to speak, not sure of what would come out.

  “Christoff thank you for loving me the way that you do. I have never met a man quite like you before. Yes, I will do my best to trust you and allow you to provide for me. Please forgive me for the way I’ve been acting lately. I want you to know it’s not you. It’s things I’m dealing with inside of me that have nothing to do with you. It is challenging being with someone who is in the public eye, but I knew that’s what I was signing up for from the beginning. I can’t guarantee I’ll be perfect, but, moving forward, I will do the best I can to be better and to allow you to be good to me.”

  “I don’t expect you to be perfect Gia. I love you as you exactly as you are. You’re so self-aware and you’re so good at expressing your feelings. And I really like how you’re always working harder to be better. I love you so much Gia.”

  “I love you too, Christoff.” He leaned in and kissed me passionately and deeply. My heart skipped a beat.

  “Let’s drink to that.” Christoff reached behind him and grabbed a bottle of Moet from the bucket ice. He poured a glass and handed it to me before pouring one for himself. He held up his glass. “To a bright future together.”

  “Yes, to us!” We toasted, and he brought his glass to my lips, and I brought mine to his. We stared into each others’ eyes as we took so slow sensual sips. I felt buzzed immediately. I decided to bury my secret and just focus on rebuilding the connection with Christoff that night.

  Chapter 8

  I woke up to the sensation of Christoff kissing my neck and running his fingers through my hair. The weight of his body and the warmth of his mouth felt oppressive. I was sick with guilt over the secret I was carrying, and his affection for me just intensified the pit in my stomach. I wriggled beneath him as I continued coming out of a deep sleep.

  “Mmm… not now Christoff,” I murmured. He continued kissing me sweetly all over my face. His affection was overwhelming me. “Stop, Christoff! Get off.” I shrieked as I pushed him off of me.

  Christoff looked at me for several moments without speaking. I turned away. I was unable to face him.

  “Hey! What the hell is going on with you Gia?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that. I’m still just going through some… some issues.” I said more to the pillow than to Christoff.

  “I’m trying to understand, but you’ve never reacted to me like that before. I don’t get it. Is there something I’m missing here? Is it me?”

  I rolled over on my back then pulled myself into a sitting position before speaking.

  “No, Christoff it’s not you.” I nibbled nervously on my bottom lip. My stomach was in knots. “It’s me. It’s something I did.” I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. “There is something I need to tell you.”

  “Yes, please tell me. I want to be there for you, but you’re not making it easy. I don’t mean to be a dick, but I’m really on the brink of losing my patience with you.” Christoff exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair. “Now, please fill me in on what the problem is.” Christoff placed his hand on my knee and looked into my eyes. My heart sank as I felt the adoration in his gaze. I hated myself for what I did to him.

  “I-I-uh did something I regret.” My breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know how to tell him, but I knew I needed to face my misdeeds and be honest with him. “I made a mistake and hooked up with Axel while you were overseas.” The words spewed out of me like projectile vomit.

  Christoff just stared at me without saying a word. His face hardened. I averted my eyes.

  “Look at me Gia, look at me.” I did as I was told. “There is no way you are serious, right? This has to be some sick joke,” Christoff spat.

  “I’m sorry Christoff. It was when we were on a break. I swear it didn’t mean anything.” Christoff glared at me for several minutes. His silence and the glassy expression on his face made me uneasy. I’d never seen him look at me that way before. It was as if someone else had inhabited Christoff’s body. The energy he was giving off didn’t feel like him. The tension between us made me want to crawl under the covers and hide. I just wanted him to say something, anything.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I caressed his face. I expected him to pull back but he didn’t.

  “Why, Gia? Why would you do that to me…to us? ” The sharpness in Christoff’s tone cut like a knife.

  “It was a mistake. You had been so distant and I felt so alone…and it just kind of happened.”

  “I don’t understand you Gia. You drove yourself crazy worrying about whether I was going to be unfaithful. So much so that you agreed that we needed a break. Then the moment I put some space between us, that heaven knows both you and I needed, you run off and hook up with my bandmate? I don’t get it. To be honest I actually find it kind of disgusting.” Christoff’s face contorted.

  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Christoff’s bluntness made me feel ashamed of myself.

  “Christoff , I know I should have been better.” I caressed his cheek. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled against him. I needed to be close to him. I wanted to feel connected again. His muscles tensed as I continued to shower him with affection. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t think any less of me. I love you and only you. You know that, right?” I kissed him softly on the neck, and I felt him let out a ragged breath. I ran my fingers through his hair as I nibbled on his ear “I want you to know that I’m all yours and yours alone. I mean that.” I kissed him on the cheek. I needed him to hold me and kiss me back. I was so hungry for his forgiveness I could taste it.

  In one strong and fluid motion, he climbed on top of me, forcefully spread my legs and pushed me back into the pillows. It happened so fast it took my breath away. He pressed into me as he brought his lips to mine and pushed his tongue into my mouth. I welcomed his weight on top of me and the warmth of his mouth felt delightful. We devoured each other more voraciously than ever before. He grunted as he ripped my panties off with one hand as he wrapped the other hand around my neck and lightly choked me. I enjoyed the feeling of completely submitting to him and allowing him to punish me for my misdeed. I spread my legs wider as I felt the tip of his massive hardness pierce my tight wetness. When our eyes met, the intensity in his gaze made my heart palpitate. The expression on his face and the fire in his eyes was one of an animalistic rage. I maintained eye contact as he continued to choke me. He penetrated me inch by inch, and I stretched to accommodate him. I dug my nails into his back as I took his full length. He pinned my hands above my head as he continued to take me. I gave all of myself to him as he pushed into me with hard fast thrusts. He grunted each time he entered me. I drew a deep breath as I enjoyed the perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

  I melted into him as he squeezed me tight, and bit and sucked on my neck. Our skin was slick with perspiration, and there was no part of our bodies that weren’t intertwined. I let out a ragged breath as I felt an overwhelming tension began to overtake me. Christoff grabbed my face and forced me to look into his eyes.

  “Come for me Gia.” He grunted. The assertiveness of his command took me completely over the edge. I called out his name as every muscle in my body tremored in response to a hard deep thrust. I continued to gaze up at him after he released my face from his grip. He growled as he exploded inside of me with three hard fast pumps that caused me to gasp. His body went rigid, and he collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, but he abruptly pulled out of me and rolled away from me. He stuck two fingers inside of me.

  “I want you to always remember who this belongs to.” He whispered as his gaze penetrated me. He brought his fingers to my lips he pushed the wetness of both of our juices against my tongue and I hesitantly sucked on his fingers.

  “I hope you regret what you did so much you taste it,
” he whispered in my ear before cleaning himself up with the sheet and leaving me alone in the bed. I wanted to call after him, but I knew it would be no use. I sprawled out on the bed. My body was sore and used up. Christoff never just got up and left after sex. He always held me afterwards while we talked and laughed, but this time it seemed he couldn’t wait to get away from me. I couldn’t blame him. I pulled the covers over my head to try and hide from the emptiness that was haunting me but there was no escape. Ever since my fall from grace that dark void had become an ever-expanding piece of me.

  ***

  Three days had passed since I revealed my misdeed to Christoff. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since he left me alone in bed the morning I revealed the secret. I wanted to call him, but I didn’t know what to say. I felt awful for hurting him, and I didn’t want to do anything to make it worse. Part of me wondered if I should have just kept the secret to myself. It seemed no good came of my confession. Of course it didn’t. I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess I was just hoping that I could get Christoff’s forgiveness, and we could work on making things better between us. I had no idea where he was, but I figured he was crashing with one of his bandmates, probably not Axel. I’d spent the past few days in bed not knowing what to do with myself. Every time I heard a noise from outside, I was hoping it was Christoff coming in to talk things out. But it was never him. I felt so alone. I didn’t even feel like I could talk to Amber about this, especially in light of what was going on with her and Peyton.

  I hadn’t bathed in three days, and I had barely eaten. I decided that a hot shower and a good meal would probably do me good. I dragged myself into the master bathroom and turned the shower on as hard and as hot as it would go. I closed my eyes, hoping that somehow the water could rinse away everything that had happened. After an hour of letting the pulsing jets pummel my skin, I put on a white cotton sundress and hot pink shoes, in an attempt to brighten my mood. I decided to leave my phone at home so I wouldn’t keep checking it, and I took myself out for an elaborate lunch at my favorite ocean-front restaurant. I ate several courses, and, by the time I was done, the sky was pink and orange and sun was a bright golden orb slowly sinking into the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, but it made me feel lonely. I longed for Christoff to come back to me. I wondered how long he would stay mad at me. I decided to step up and call him and try to make amends.