BWWM: Bad Boy Billionaires Box Set (A Bad Boy BWWM Billionaire Collection)

by Jameson, Jasmine

  “Aww thanks Brad. You’re so sweet. I really needed to hear that right now, more than you know.”

  “Anytime, I mean that. I’ll let Anya know you’re here. Do you want coffee or tea while you wait?”

  “No, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”

  “Anytime.”

  “I have to run to the copy room. I’ll be right back, Love. Make yourself at home.”

  My mind was racing with ideas of what kind of opportunity Anya was going to present to me. It was one of the first times in a long time I wasn't consumed by the effect Bianca's allegations had on Christoff.

  As if she were reading my thoughts Valarie, called my name. I got up and met her halfway as she walked toward me. She took my hand in both of hers.

  "So sorry for the wait, Hon. Anya was stuck on a phone call. She's ready to see you now."

  "Awesome. I've been crawling out of my skin with anticipation, wondering what she's got for me." I thought I saw Valerie roll her eyes, but I couldn't be sure. She tended to come off as rather cynical, but I never let it get to me.

  "Well, you'll find out soon enough."

  Valerie led the way down a corridor to Anya's corner office. Anya raised her head from a stack of papers when Valarie knocked on the door.

  "Your 4 p.m."

  "Thanks, Val." Anya nodded at Valerie who obediently scampered off. "Giavanna! come in." Anya gestured for me to come forward. She was wearing a sharp red blazer, and long dark layers framed her face perfectly. Anya always looked immaculate, and her office was no different. Her desk was in perfect order, and, after a few visits, I noticed that the books that filled the shelf behind her were in alphabetical order. She was ridiculously organized and slightly intimidating.

  "You can sit down." She gestured toward a pair of chairs in front of her desk. I did as I was told. "Thanks for coming in, Giavanna. I don't want to waste too much of your time. More importantly, I have other appointments, so I have to get straight to the point. Is that okay with you?"

  "Sure," I replied quietly. Anya was never particularly warm, but today her curtness made me uneasy. I felt like I had just been called into the principal's office to have a punishment administered.

  "Well, I have some good news." She smiled.

  "Yay!! This is what I was hoping for." I bounced up and down in my seat and clapped my hands together. Anya shot me a judgmental glare.

  "Well, it's good news for me. Not necessarily for you," she said bluntly.

  "Oh." My heart sank.

  "I accepted a position in the talent department at a larger agency, so I will no longer be representing broadcast journalism clients. Since there aren't any other agents in this office who do what I do, that means you will have to find another agent."

  My heart sank. I was speechless. My high hopes for being offered the opportunity of a lifetime crashed down into a wave of panic. I already wasn't getting as many auditions as I would like to and now I was without an agent.

  "Well, what am I supposed to do?" I spoke up. "Do you know anyone in the industry you can refer me to? Anyone who will help me get called on a lot of auditions?"

  "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm going to be frank with you, Giavanna. If I couldn't get you a lot of auditions, I don't think anyone in the industry can. You're a cute girl, but you really aren't what producers are looking for right now. You just aren't that marketable as an on-air personality. I'm sorry."

  I was so stunned that I didn't know how to respond. I've been through a lot, so I've developed a thick skin, but her comments hurt a lot especially in light of how hard I'd been working lately. I'd always had a feeling from deep within that told me I was meant to do this work as an entertainment journalist, but, in that moment, I started to feel like maybe my inner voice was delusional. Maybe I wasn't cut out for show biz. I felt my eyes begin to smart. I bit my lip and swallowed the lump in my throat to stop myself from crying. I pulled my shoulders back and held my head high. I took a deep breath before speaking.

  "I appreciate your opinion, Anya, but, despite being a successful agent, you aren't the authority on what's marketable. Maybe the reason why I haven't been getting auditions lately is because you didn't believe in me enough, so you weren't pushing for me. I feel like your head might already be on your new position, and you're not focused on making opportunities for your clients like you should be. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so maybe this transition is best for both of us. I wish you all the best in your new position, Anya, but I'm not going to let your limited opinion of me hold me back. I'm going to find an agent that appreciates my talent and who cares about my success. Thank you for opening the door for me to do that."

  "I hope you get to where you want to go, Giavanna. I really do. But I would just hate to see you waste any more of your time on a career path that might not be a good fit for you, when you could be focusing on your writing, which you excel at. But you're an adult. You have to find your own way. I wish you luck. If there is ever anything I can do to help you, please don't hesitate to ask."

  "Thank you, Anya. I don't want to burn bridges, but I doubt I'll be needing anything from you in the future. I'd rather surround myself with people who believe in the vision I have for myself. I respect you as an agent and especially as a woman who has done so well in such a cut throat industry. I wish you good luck in all of your future endeavors. I know you'll do great. All I want from you is for you to stand back and let me do great as well."

  "I must say I like your tenacity, Giavanna. Hold on to it. You're going to need it out there." Anya stood and walked around her desk and extended her hand to me. I rose to my feet and gave her a firm handshake. "All the best, Giavanna"

  "Likewise, Anya." We held eye contact for several moments. I was still hurt by her comments but in a way I was grateful to her for setting me on fire and motivating me to want to prove her wrong. I smiled before releasing her hand. "Enjoy the rest of your day."

  "You do the same."

  I kept my composure the best I could as I turned and walked out of Anya's office. They say ‘fake it ‘til you make it,’ right? I meant everything I said to Anya, and I knew that I deserved an agent who believed in me as least as much as I believed in myself, but Anya's words shook me to my core. What if she was right? What if I didn't have the 'it' factor I needed to be successful on television? If it was meant to be, wouldn't it have happened already? My self-doubt was mutating into a soul-sucking monster. My stomach was in knots as I stormed through the corridor, through the lobby, and out the door as quickly and quietly as possible, so I wouldn't have to speak to anyone or explain to them that Anya not only dropped me as a client, but she also deemed me unmarketable and pretty much told me to give up on my career.

  Once I was in the elevator, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I felt so hurt and overwhelmed. The vision of me on the red carpet interviewing A-Listers seemed so far away from me now. I couldn't wait to get home. I really wanted a drink, but I was trying to cut back on drinking when I was down. It didn't feel healthy, and, in the end, I always felt worse both mentally and physically. I could really go for a hot shower, some chamomile and peppermint tea, and some quality time with Christoff. On the other hand, I didn't want to lean on him now because of everything he was going through, so I was hoping that I could get myself into a good mood before he got home.

  The drive home was a blur of anxiety, racing thoughts, and self-pity. I practically dragged myself through the front door and threw myself on the couch. I mindlessly grabbed my phone and scrolled through the newsfeed on Facebook. I wished I hadn't. Someone had posted an article with a very unflattering picture of Christoff with the headline "Rockstar turned Rapist. Bianca Hathaway Speaks out." The post had fifty one comments. As I started reading them, I wanted to vomit. People were saying horrible things about Christoff, and they didn't even know the real story. People were also saying horrible and sexist things about Bianca that made me sick. Even though I didn't care for her very much, I didn't think
it was fair or appropriate that people were slut-shaming her and calling her names for telling her story. I knew she was lying, but they didn't. There was no way they could. I found it despicable that the public would ridicule and demean an alleged rape victim, and I was furious that there were others in the public that would humiliate and condemn a man when they didn't even know the facts. The public seemed to be reveling in the drama that was tearing Christoff apart inside. I made a mental note to keep him away from watching TV or reading any news media. He was really tough, but he had already lost a lot of weight since Bianca made her accusations public, and he wasn't sleeping well. I would hate for him to see what people were saying about him. Their spiteful words were enough to destroy even the strongest man.

  I was just about to shut my phone off when I saw a notification that a text had come through. I automatically checked it, even though I really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. What the fuck? Could this day possibly get any worse? It was Axel.

  “Hey Gia, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, and I don't blame you. I tried reaching out to Christoff, but he won't respond. I think he is still mad at me, and I don't fault him for it. There is something I really need to say to you, but I'd rather say it in person instead of via text. I promise you that I have no ill intentions whatsoever, I just want to talk. Can you meet up with me tomorrow?”

  I closed my eyes and rested my head against the couch. I was not in the state of mind to deal with this right now. I thought about just deleting the text and pretending he never contacted me, but I knew that would make things awkward the next time I saw him with the band. I silently debated whether I should tell Christoff that Axel contacted me. I didn’t want to keep secrets from him, but I also didn’t want to upset him or cause controversy. I was totally overwhelmed, and I suddenly felt exhausted. I shut off my phone and tossed it on the coffee table before curling up on the corner of the couch and shutting my eyes. I took a few deep breaths to try to stop my mind from racing.

  Just as I was starting to relax, I was startled by the sound of the back door opening. Christoff was home. I was always happy to see him, but, at this moment, I didn’t think I had the energy to talk to anyone. I closed my eyes again as I heard him rustling around in the kitchen. I always got up to greet Christoff whenever he got home, but this time I just didn’t have it in me. I started to drift into a light slumber. I didn’t know how long I’d been going in and out of sleep, but I woke up when I felt the weight of Christoff sitting beside me on the couch. I opened my eyes and stretched out to rest my feet in Christoff’s lap.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you, sleepy girl,” Christoff said quietly.

  “No, it’s okay. I’m happy to see you.”

  “Same here.” Christoff leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips. “How was your day?”

  “Horrible,” I mumbled.

  “Why? What happened?”

  “Everything. But I don’t want to bother you with it. You just got in. You deserve to relax without listening to me bitch,” I sighed, attempting a smile.

  “Come on, Gia. I always appreciate how considerate you are, but I want to hear what’s up with you. Talk to me.”

  “The problem is I don’t know where to begin.” I exhaled loudly.

  “It’s that bad?” Christoff gently grabbed my foot and began to massage it with firm deep strokes. His touch felt delightful. Christoff always knew how to melt my stress away.

  “I had a meeting with Anya today. She’s moving on to a new position at a bigger agency, so she’ll no longer be representing me. We had a talk, and she told me she didn’t think I was marketable and that I should stick to a career in print journalism and give up being on television. I know better than to let other people’s opinions discourage me, but I am so hurt and so frustrated right now. I feel like I have been trying to land my own show for forever, but every time I take one step forward, I take two steps back. I’ve been working harder than ever lately to make myself more marketable, but it seems like all my gigs have dried up. Now I don’t have an agent. I feel like I’m back at square one. Who knows, maybe Anya is right and TV is just not meant to be for me, and I should stick to writing. ” I swallowed hard as I felt myself start to get choked up. I didn’t want to fall apart in front of Christoff. I already felt bad for dumping everything on him while he was going through so much stress. I bit my lip as I tried to stay strong. I took a deep breath before speaking again. “All my life I’ve been an over-achiever, but right now I feel like the biggest failure. I’m so upset that I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  Christoff grabbed my hand and gently tugged me forward. I crawled into his lap with little resistance. I rested my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair.

  “You’re not a failure Gia. You’re one of the most charismatic, hardworking, and dynamic women I’ve ever met before. And you’re definitely the most persistent. It doesn’t matter how big the challenge, you never give up. You’ve overcome so much that would have totally destroyed most people. If anyone has what it takes to make it in this business, it’s you. I feel like being on TV is in your destiny. You’re so passionate, both when you’re on camera and when you’re just talking about being on camera. This is just a little bump in the road. There will always be ups and downs, but, with your talent and your tenacity, there is no way your dream won’t become a reality.”

  “Thanks so much for believing in me, babe. It means so much.” I nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He was so warm and comfortable. “I used to be so confident that I had everything it takes to bring my vision to fruition, but now I’m not so sure. It’s been taking so long. I’ve been at it since I graduate college. It’s been years. I feel like if was meant to be, it would have happened already.”

  “Gia, nobody said it’d be easy. Just because something you want is being delayed doesn’t mean it’s being denied.”

  I sat quietly as I pondered Christoff’s words. What he said made a lot of sense and his wisdom brought me more peace than I had felt all day. Yet, I was still feeling frustrated and discouraged. I was so tired of feeling like I was on a treadmill going nowhere. I would love to be even close to Christoff’s level of success in my own field.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re at the top. It’s easy to be patient when you’ve already made it,” I mumbled softly.

  “Gia, do you think I just woke up one morning and magically became an award-winning platinum-selling artist? It took time, effort, and lots of sacrifices. Everything you’re going through now, I’ve been there. And there is no such thing as ‘making it’…” Christoff put air quotes around the phrase. “I’m always striving to be better than I was yesterday. And despite how hard I’ve been working, as you can see, in this business, it can be taken away in an instant. I’ve gone through so much to get to where I am, and now everything that I worked for is being jeopardized by the allegations.”

  I felt all of the muscles in Christoff’s body tense. I felt bad that he was starting to get upset. I rubbed his back with my hand. “It’ll be okay, baby, I promise. You’re like me. You’re a fighter. We’ll get through this. I guarantee it.” I felt him start to relax into my touch.

  “Thank you. Your faith in me means so much. Where have you been all my life? I really wish I had known you when I was first starting out. My journey would have been so much more enjoyable. I struggled with the band for years before we got a record deal. The girl I was with at the time just didn’t understand why I was working so hard for something she said would probably never happen. She threatened to leave me if I didn’t give up the band so that I could get more hours at the factory I was working at and provide a better life for us. I was very invested in the relationship at the time, so her threat really rattled me, but I stayed true to myself and kept doing rehearsals and shows with the band. It was hard to stay focused because she and I were fighting so much, but there was something inside that kept driving me.

  “Ever since I was s
eparated from my family when I was seventeen, my music was the only thing I had that kept me going. It wasn’t always easy though. I was exhausted from working around the clock just to make ends meet, juggling my volatile relationship and dealing with what seemed like an endless string of rejections while trying to get the band a record deal. Oh my god, the period right before we got offered our first contract was one of the most stressful times of my life. I was so sleep-deprived that I started making mistakes at work and got written up. My girl walked out on me. I was devastated. And to make matters worse I had a horrible case of the flu, and we had shows scheduled the whole week I was sick. I desperately wanted to give up but something told me to keep going. I dragged myself to each show and gave it my all, even though I was at my weakest both physically and spiritually.

  “The night of our last show, that week a guy from the A&R department of a small German record label approached us and said he wanted to meet with us and discuss working together. A few weeks later, he ended up signing us. Sales for our first album were okay, but, while we were on tour promoting it, we got invited to open for some big name artists in the US. Once we became international, doors began to open up and we got signed to a bigger label, and life has never been the same since. I feel so blessed to have all that I have now: my career, you, this beautiful home, all of my loyal fans, and the list goes on. But none of it was just handed for me. I had to earn it, and I had to wait for it. It didn’t come all at once. Hang in there Gia, I’m telling you it will be worth it.” I felt the tension leave Cristoff’s body as he became passionate about telling his story.