The Loner

by Lindsay McKenna

  Dakota helped her sit down on the edge of her bed. “God, I feel weak. How long is this drug going to make me feel like this?” she asked. His expression was readable, his eyes filled with vigilance. He hadn’t cleaned up yet. His beard darkened his face, making him look more the warrior she knew he was and always would be.

  “Probably in another twelve hours you should be past most of these symptoms. Would you like a bath? A shower?”

  Shelby shook her head. “I’m just tired.” She moved her palm across the well-worn spread. It was soft and comforting to her. “I need two things,” she told him huskily, meeting and holding his dark gaze. “I need sleep and I need you holding me tonight.” The sky was bright with afternoon sunlight. She lifted her chin and waited for his answer. She saw a glint come to his eyes.

  “Anything you want, Shel,” he said in a low voice. Reaching out, Dakota grazed her hair. “Do you want help undressing? Do you want to wear your nightgown?”

  She caught Dakota’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. She drew his hand to her cheek. “I’ll get myself to bed. You come when you want.”

  “I’ll get a shower and shave first. I stink,” he said.

  A slight smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. Shelby released his hand and he felt softened tingles moving heatedly across his skin. How badly he wanted to love Shelby. He wanted to make things right. Make the fear he saw banked in her eyes go away forever. He knew he could do it. “I’ll be back in a little while,” he promised.

  * * *

  NEARLY TWO HOURS LATER, Dakota slid into bed beside Shelby. She was sleeping soundly on her side, one hand tucked beneath her cheek. There was now a faint blush across her cheeks. It hurt him to see the deep scratch across her temple where she’d run through brush to escape Welton. As he pulled the drapes closed, the sun hanging lower on the western horizon, the room grew shadowed.

  Dakota moved slowly to Shelby’s side so as not to awaken her. She was as naked as he was. He smiled and gently eased one arm behind her neck and the pillow. He curved his body against hers and placed his other arm across her waist, holding her close. Holding Shelby safe.

  Dakota didn’t know how long he lay awake. It didn’t matter. Beneath his arm, he could feel the slow rise and fall of her breasts as she slept. After he started to hold her, Shelby seemed to breathe more evenly and sink into a deeper slumber. It told him she felt safe in his arms. Protected.

  He thought about Ellie. The court trial. The horrifying pictures flashed for the jury to realize what had been done to his sister. As Shelby slept soundly in his arms, cocooned by his body, he felt profound relief and the soul-eating guilt over Ellie’s death was released. He’d only been seventeen years old at the time, unable to help Ellie at all. Now it was as if he’d been given a second chance to avenge her death. Only this time, he was a SEAL, trained to use controlled violence when demanded. As he inhaled the sweet scent of nutmeg through the silky strands of Shelby’s hair that tickled his jaw, he reveled in the fact that he had been able to save Shelby. It didn’t minimize Ellie’s death. But it helped Dakota to put it all into perspective.

  SEAL training gave him the tools, the dangerous edge he needed to find Shelby when no one else could have. Storm had done her part, too. She’d sped up the process of finding her. The wolf had made all the difference.

  Dakota closed his eyes. The woman now in his arms, resting safe against him, was the one he wanted in his life until he took his last breath. He knew Shelby loved him as fiercely as he loved her. And he silently promised her that he would show her every day just how much she meant to him and his badly injured heart. Shelby was healing him, whether she knew it or not.

  Rising on his elbow, Dakota could see her profile in the gray light. Tears still fell down her cheeks. She was deep in sleep, probably reliving the nightmare of yesterday. Leaning down, Dakota placed his lips over the swollen cut on her temple. Whispering her name, he told her she was safe. He rested his chin against her hair. Almost instantly, the tears stopped and once more, the tension left her body. Humbled that he had a healing effect on Shelby, he slowly resumed his sleep position once more.

  Dakota had never thought it possible that a human could heal another. Yet that was what he’d just experienced. Love was deeply healing. He loved Shelby.

  And then his old fears came back to haunt him at a moment when he was completely vulnerable. He was far too damaged to be with Shelby. Was it fair to her to burden her with someone like him? Dakota was always afraid of his PTSD. He’d broken a nurse’s arm when she’d touched him while he’d been asleep. He lived in silent terror of doing something like that to Shelby. Shutting his eyes tightly, Dakota tried to get a handle on those damn demons of his. He’d never had anyone challenge them until Shelby walked boldly into his life. His love and his darkness were at war. He wasn’t sure which side would win.

  Dakota wished with all his heart he could remove the pain and trauma Shelby suffered. The body, the emotions, remembered those times, as he knew too well himself. And he was sure that in the coming days, weeks and months, Shelby would experience all of them in their jagged, cutting intensity.

  He had suffered similar effects from war. Trauma was trauma. At least he’d be at her side to guide her through. He’d never had support, but she would. The love Dakota felt for her swelled his chest, filled him until he thought he might die of joy. He’d never experienced this before.

  Somewhere in the coming night, Dakota heard an owl calling near the window. Exhaustion washed over him as he, too, relaxed and gave in to the tiredness of his body and his wounded soul. Dakota slept with the woman he loved, grateful she was safe, in his arms.

  * * *

  SHELBY AWOKE WITH A start. Her entire body spasmodically jerked. And just as swiftly, she felt Dakota’s reaction, his arms automatically holding her a little more tightly, a little more surely, as if to tell her she was safe. Safe. Weak morning light filtered in around the drapes. The room was muted with gloom, but she relaxed, an anguished breath escaping her. Her heart was pounding. She felt his long, callused fingers splayed out across her torso, holding her against his warm, strong body.

  “All right?” Dakota asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  Automatically, Shelby slid her hand over his forearm. “Just images...” she managed, her voice hoarse, emotions still riffling through her. The terror was still with her. But she had Dakota and he needed her, too. It was a frightening thought and she was too vulnerable, too much in shock to absorb it. Was she the woman he needed? Would he always come if she needed him? He’d been there for her without fail. Dark, questioning emotions warred with her heart. The trauma forced her to question everything.

  Dakota instantly came awake; it was a natural SEAL reaction. From exhausted sleep to total alertness, as if an enemy were nearby. He pushed up on his elbow and he eased Shelby onto her back so he could look directly into her eyes.

  Inwardly, Dakota winced as he saw tear tracks down her drawn cheeks. It hurt him to see her like this. He could stand anything but a woman or child crying. His chest felt as if it were being twisted in two by a vise. Reaching out, Dakota coaxed strands of blond hair away from her cheek. “Bad dream?”

  Holding his alert golden gaze, her pulse still pounding, she nodded. “I—I’m a little emotional right now....”

  “You’re coming off that drug, that’s why. It makes you feel crazy and you question everything,” he quietly reassured her, holding her shattered blue gaze. Her pupils were okay, but Dakota not only felt but saw the savage emotions working through her. Shelby was struggling to contain them, to combat and suppress them. Not this time. “Come here,” he rasped, pulling her tightly against him as he rolled over onto his back. “You need to get it out of your system, Shel. I’ll hold you. Go ahead...”

  The gruff tenderness in his voice comforted her. She turned and curved her body against his, head nestled in the crook of his shoulder. “I—I have this terror in me. I feel like it’s eating me alive, making m
e question everything.” Shelby slid her hand across his massive, darkly haired chest. She shut her eyes, fighting back the lump in her throat.

  “Shel, I’ve been where you are. It’s a kind of demon that wants to control you. It isn’t about drugs, it’s about trauma. The key is—” he pressed a kiss to her brow “—to fight it.”

  As much as Shelby struggled to suppress the sob, it tore out of her throat. The sound that came out sounded like that of a wounded animal. Her entire body convulsed against his. Dakota pulled her as tight as he could, as if to shelter her from the storm within her.

  Dakota closed his eyes, jaw resting against her hair. Shelby’s arms tightened around him as she sobbed her pain. He did not let her go. Her fingers dug frantically into his flesh, opening and closing almost spasmodically. Dakota understood the depth of her uncontrolled fear. Shelby was familiar with Ellie’s trial. She’d been a witness for the prosecution, seen the horrific pictures. She understood what Hartley and Welton would have been capable of doing to her. Dakota buried his face in the strands of her soft hair, her sweet scent mingled with the animal-like sounds tearing out of her. He simply held her, absorbing as much of her pain as he could.

  Shelby lost track of time, of place. She felt out of her body, as if her soul were fragmenting, tearing slowly apart into jigsaw pieces. Only Dakota’s arms, his quiet strength held her together. Her tears tangled and soaked into the dark hair across his chest. Shelby couldn’t stop weeping, controlled by her emotions, the drugs in her system, the overwhelming desire to live.

  She felt like a leaf torn off a tree during the most savage storm she’d ever experienced. It was Dakota’s low, vibrating voice near her ear, his moist breath flowing across her cheek, that allowed her to hold on, to ride out this violence swirling within her. She fought her own demons now. But he was here, supporting her, feeding her with his strength. His hand ranged slowly up and down her spine, soothing her, taming the violence she felt moving out of her. Each touch of his scarred fingers trailing across her spine, brought her a little more peace and a little less agony with each stroke.

  Finally, Shelby lay utterly exhausted in his arms, but he didn’t stop stroking her shoulders and spine. He knew she needed this contact with reality, this grounding, to finally loosen the grip of the horror of the past two weeks. And then she slept. Really slept in his arms, his body a barrier against the terror in her life, a protection and promise of better times ahead.

  The next time Shelby awakened, she was fully aware of resting on Dakota’s shoulder. His chest hair tickled her chin and nose. Unconsciously, Shelby moved her hand languidly across his powerful expanse, fingers tangling in the soft, silky hair of his chest. She felt his flesh tense and a ragged sound escape his lips. His hand moved across hers.

  “Shel?” His voice was drowsy, filled with concern.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, pressing a small kiss to his chest wall. Again, she felt him tense, as if controlling himself. “I want you. All of you,” she whispered, pulling her head back just enough to meet his narrowing eyes.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, his arm moving across her shoulder. Dakota had no idea of time, only that the room was bathed in eastern sunlight. His mind was groggy, desperately needing more sleep. But right now he was hotly aware of Shelby’s body against his, the amazing and stunning clarity in her blue eyes. He could see real life in them for the first time since the incident. His Shel was home. There was no doubt that she was fully present. Dakota felt himself harden, wanting her so damn bad. Yet he knew when people were traumatized, they did things they were sorry for later. Trauma was a chameleon and he had no wish to make love with her if she really wasn’t fully aware of what she was asking for. Sex could wait. He was far more concerned about healing her fragile emotional and mental state.

  “Do I not look sure?” Shelby arched her brows and gave him a reckless smile. She lifted her hand, her fingertips tingling as she cupped his cheek. “I need you, Dakota. All of you. I know what I’m doing. I know what I need—you.” She saw his hesitation, maybe his concerns stirring? To hell with it.

  Leaning up, she pushed him back on the bed, moving her body over his, their hips meeting and branding each other. She planted her elbows on either side of his head, looked deeply into his eyes. Her fingers moved gently across his scalp, his hair soft as she tangled and engaged the short, clean strands. Their noses almost touched.

  “I love you. You saved my life. You held me when I was hurting. Now,” Shelby whispered before she placed her lips lightly upon the hard line of his mouth, “I want to celebrate life. I want to love you, Dakota. I’m bruised, not broken. And yes, I’m a little stiff in the shoulder but nothing that won’t go away in a few days.” Shelby sighed against his mouth. She felt him tremble, as if giving himself permission to return her slow, teasing wet kiss.

  His hands roved from her shoulders, down the length of her long, strong spine to her flared hips. Curving his hands down to where her thighs melted into her hips, Dakota heard her moan. His callused fingers enflamed her flesh and slowly, deliberately caressed her. Her mouth deepened against his as he moved his fingers closer to her center of moistness and warmth. His body hardened beneath her cajoling hips, scalding his erection as their mouths clung hotly to each other.

  Lost in the strength and tenderness of his mouth, Shelby eased onto her back with Dakota on top of her. The sheets were cool against her heated flesh. His body hard and tense, his flesh hot against her own, sent her arching hips to meet his.

  As powerful as Dakota was, Shelby could feel him monitoring the amount of weight he placed against her body, monitoring the amount of pressure against her hungry lips. She ached to feel more of him. Frustrated, she dug her fingers into his flesh, letting him know she wasn’t any china doll that would break. She thrust her hips solidly against his erection and instantly felt him tense, a low animal growl vibrating through his chest. She loved the sound rumbling through him, resonating within her body. She placed her lips against his mouth.

  “My turn,” she whispered against him, and she eased herself across his hips, moving on top of Dakota. She settled her thighs against him. The smoldering look in his eyes scorched her body and her entire lower body spasmed. There were so many small and longer scars across his torso, chest and shoulders. Dakota had suffered so much and she purposely ran her fingers across each one, memorizing each one, licking his flesh, kissing it and wanting to remove the memory forever. He quivered each time her lips lightly grazed each one, heightening her hunger of him. Even though he was a man with demons, he’d risen above his own tortured existence and had held her while she hurt and cried out her pain. Now Shelby was going to help dissolve the memory of each of those battle scars he’d gotten over the years.

  Dakota’s lips lifted away from his gritted teeth as she moved her wet core slowly up and down him. Automatically, he captured her sweet hips, staring up into her glinting blue eyes that reminded him of a hunter stalking her prey. He was no prey, and lifted her just enough to sheathe deeply into her. In that instant, Shelby froze, her back arching, a moan of pleasure tearing out from between her parted lips. Her eyes closed, head tipped back, a vulnerable smile across her lips as she welcomed him into her silky, wet confines. Dakota lifted his hands and slid them around the soft globes of her breasts. He leaned up as she sank downward. His lips met the first hardened nipple, suckling strongly on it, and then the other. She trembled violently beneath his touch. Hunter had turned into prey with soft, malleable flesh between his large hands. He thrust deeply into her, and her eyes closed. She absorbed his male strength into her yielding body, a flush spreading rapidly across her cheeks.

  Shelby was strong, pliant and hungry. He brought her into a frantic, plunging rhythm with himself. Breasts teasing him against his chest, Dakota hotly took her mouth, thrusting his tongue deeply into her. He felt her stiffen, felt more than heard a cry of raw satisfaction originate from very deep within her body. Her spine grew taut as the heat exploded between them
, deluging them with feverish outward ripples of intense primal pleasure.

  He was grateful for the fire that rolled through him. Shelby clung to him, her fingers still digging frantically into his thick shoulders. He prolonged her orgasm, moving his hands to her hips, thrusting deep and keeping the pressure against her core. She cried out suddenly and he removed that steel control over himself. She languished in continuing orgasms beneath his onslaught. Drawing in air between his clenched teeth, Dakota gripped her tightly against him, his face pressed against her slender neck, lost in the fusion of scalding oneness. His release went deep into her writhing body. Her breath sharpened against his as she sought and found his mouth. Her lips curved across his, taking him to places he had never known existed before this moment.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “WELCOME BACK, SHELBY.”

  “Thanks, Cade. Good to be back.” Shelby gave her boss a smile as she picked up her weapon. For the past two weeks she’d been on medical leave. It felt great to be working again.

  “How’s Dakota doing?”

  She slid the gun into the holster on her right hip. “Moving down here to my home.” Wrinkling her nose, she added, “Not that he has that much to move. The guy was living off the land. Some clothes, but that’s all.”

  Cade leaned back in his chair and studied her. “You’re happy?”

  Shelby’s smile grew. “You’re the first to know, Cade.” She held up her left hand to show him a small diamond engagement ring.

  “I already noticed that when you walked in,” he said drily, his grin widening. “Couldn’t happen to two better people. Congratulations. Have you set a date?”

  “Thanks. We’re looking at an October wedding. We want everyone to attend. My mother is helping me with the invitations as we speak.”

  “We’ll look forward to being there to see you two married off.”

  She sighed and said in a quieter tone, “He’s an incredible person, Cade. I guess it took this incident with Hartley and Welton for me to really see him.