“That’s fine. I’ll go for now, but you can’t protect her forever, you know. I don’t hand over what’s mine so easily, especially when I’m not done with it. Make no mistake. You’ll pay for this, Carter. I’ll see you soon, Madison.”
He slams the door and disappears. It takes everything in me not to go after him, but I know she needed me more than I needed to beat the shit out of Chris. I turn around to look at her and she is staring at the floor.
“I’m going to go now.”
WHAT???
Madison
I have to get out of here before Chris comes back. I couldn’t take it if something happened to Carter because of me. I am more terrified than I’ve ever been and, for a minute, I consider going back to Chris if he’ll leave Carter alone. He grabs my face and makes me look at him, but I close my eyes because if I see his face, I might lose all the courage I have to do this.
“Look at me, Maddy!”
I just shake my head. I can’t say anything because I don’t trust my own voice. All of a sudden, Carter’s lips are on mine and all rational thought leaves me. This feels so right. It is unlike anything I’ve ever felt with anyone before. He pulls back and looks me right in my eyes, and the love that I saw in his face diminished any hope I had that I could walk away from him. “I love you.”
“Why did you say you were going to leave, then?” He looks so confused and hurt. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. He means everything to me and is the only person I’ve ever really felt love from. How do I explain this to him?
“I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you because of me. I love you so much that it hurts, and I’m scared to lose you. I don’t know what Chris is going to do, and it terrifies me.”
He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. He lays down and pulls me on top of him. I settle onto my side and mold my body to him, draping my leg over his, and laying my head on his chest. This felt so right to me, like nothing in this world would ever compare to it. He held me so tight and made me feel so safe with him. Chris never wanted to lie together, and I usually avoided the bedroom because he always wanted sex when we were in there.
“Maddy, listen.” I look up at his beautiful face. “I love you, and I’ll protect you no matter what. He won’t touch you, and I can take care of myself. I don’t want you to be scared and I’ll do anything I can to help you through this. Just don’t leave me because you’re afraid. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Last night, when I thought you chose Chris, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt like my world was caving in and I couldn’t breathe.”
I have to make him understand. I’d do anything for him. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, and I can’t stand the thought of him being hurt because of me. “Carter, I just-”
“No, you’re not leaving me because you’re worried about him. If you want to leave me because you don’t love me, that’s one thing. It would kill me but I’d let you go if that was what you wanted.”
There is no way that I’d ever want to leave him. He is the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life. “I never want to leave you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” I crush my mouth to his, causing him to let out a low moan. I took the opportunity and slipped my tongue inside. There is so much passion in this kiss that it takes my breath away. The way our mouths move together is so sensual and perfect. He is perfect. This time it is me who pulls back from him. “If you want me, I’m here and I never want to leave.”
“Good because, after that kiss, I might not be able to chase after you without scaring the neighbors.” We both break out in laughter, and it feel amazing to be able to be with him like this. “So, what do you want to do today?”
“Truthfully, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to lie in your arms and take a nap.”
“That sounds perfect.”
***
I feel a hand running through my hair and down my side. I smile at the fact that I was getting to wake up next to Carter. I open my eyes and a hand clamps down on my mouth before I can scream. Chris is standing over me, giving me a smile that makes my stomach turn.
I scan the room for any trace of Carter, but I can’t find him. My stomach drops and I am paralyzed by fear. Please let him be okay. My hands shoot up to remove Chris’s hand, but he grabs them and pins them above my head.
“I told you I’d be back for you. He can’t protect you from me, no one can. You’re mine, and I’m never going to let you go.”
I started to sob because it was the only thing I could do. Just then, I heard the sound of Carter’s car. He wasn’t home when Chris got in. I can’t help but wonder where the hell he could have gone. Chris hears it, too, because his face drops. I hear the front door shut and Carter singing to himself.
“Don’t think I’m done with you. I’ll be back, baby,” he whispers.
He kisses me on my forehead and then hops out of the window.
Chapter Twenty Three
Carter
Damn, sushi is fucking expensive but it would be worth it just to see her smile. I woke up early and couldn’t sleep, so I decided to run out and grab Maddy some of her favorite food for lunch. She loves the crap they serve at school, and this restaurant is ten times better. I can’t wait to surprise her. I hear the window open in the bedroom. Maddy must be up. Although, I don’t know what the hell she is doing opening a window in December.
I walk into the bedroom and when my eyes find her, it looks like she’s seen a ghost. Shit, she must have had a nightmare. I should have just stayed with her. I close the window because it is freezing in the room, then walk over to the bed, sit down and wrap her in my arms. “Shhh, baby, it was only a dream. I’m here.” She cries in my arms for at least another ten minutes.
“He was here,” she whispers.
My whole body stiffens. “What do you mean? When?” My eyes find the window that had been open when I got in the room.
“Chris was here when I woke up. I thought it was you at first. He was rubbing my head and I just assumed it was you. He put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t yell and told me he’d come back for me. Then, he heard your car and went out the window.”
I jump up from the bed, ready to kill the fucker. He’d taken this shit too far. I was going to find him and make sure he never even thought about her again, much less came near her. I feel her grab my arm and turn around to meet her eyes. She looks so scared that it only fuels my anger more. I shake her off and head for the door.
“Carter, wait, please!”
I turn around, but I don’t answer her. I don’t trust my voice right now. I am too angry and I need to go find him.
“Carter, please don’t leave. Please just stay with me. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry.”
Wait, what? She has nothing to be sorry for. I need to calm myself down. “What are you talking about, baby?”
“You’re mad because Chris was here. It’s my fault he even came. I never meant to bring all of this drama to you, and I know I’m putting you in danger by just being here.”
Is she crazy? She really has no idea how much I love her. She is so used to the dysfunctional relationship that she had with Chris. It makes sense that she thinks I’m mad at her. He always blamed her for everything.
I have to fix this. I pull her into me and hold her until we both calm down. I lead her to the couch and sit her next to me. Before she even gets all the way down, she is climbing into my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my chest. I can’t leave her like this. She needs me here, but that didn’t mean this was over.
Madison
If I hold him long enough, maybe he’d forgive me. I hate that I brought Chris and all of my problems into Carter’s life. He deserves better than me, but I’m not sure I can live without him. He turns his head toward me and gives me a kiss on the lips.
“I’m not mad at you, baby.” How is he not mad at me? This whole situation is my fault. “I’m mad because that asshole came in m
y house and had the nerve to put his hands on you. It kills me that I wasn’t here. I’m mad at myself for that. I never should have left you here.”
Until right now, I completely forgot that he’d ever left. “Where did you go?”
“I woke up because I was hungry and when I went to the kitchen, I barely had any food. So I took a ride to Raw Bar to surprise you. I’m so sorry, baby. I should have just stayed here with you.”
I shake my head in disbelief at how thoughtful he is and now he just feels guilty about it. Just then, my stomach growls and lets Carter know he made the right decision. “That was so nice of you to do that. I’m not mad at you, and neither is my stomach.” He chuckles. God, I loved hearing that sound.
“I’d do anything for you. Come on, let’s eat.”
Carter
After lunch, we lie on the couch and watch TV, talking and laughing. It was a perfect afternoon, but we were ignoring the elephant in the room. I had to get it out. We need to talk about this. She needs to know I’m not just going to let this go. I sit up and she follows. She looks at me with confusion written all over her face. “We need to talk about everything.”
“Okay.” I can tell that her mind is preparing for the worst.
“I don’t want you going anywhere on your own. If I can’t be with you, Shawn or Jason will be. I already talked to them about it. You need to let me know if he tries to contact you. The only class you have with him next semester, I’m in too. I’ll take care of him soon enough.”
I’d texted Jason about what happened earlier and he decided to pay Chris a visit. When he got there, he found out that Chris had gone back home till the start of next semester. I didn’t care, though. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t make a special trip down here just to get to her.
“What are you going to do?” She has fear etched all over her face, and I hate it.
“I don’t know yet but I’m not going to let him get away with it.”
She looks at me and I can see the tears that want to escape, but she is trying to hold them back. “I’m scared, Carter. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. Chris has serious anger problems. You don’t even know everything.”
“Then tell me.” I want to know but, at the same time, I didn’t want to hear all of the things he used to do to her. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
“Most of the time, he’d just hit or kick me, really. He did it in places you normally didn’t see like my legs, stomach or back. Toward the end, though, he used to make me give him hand jobs and blow jobs.” She lowers her head like she is embarrassed.
I can’t believe this. I want to throw up. The only thing I can do right now is question why she didn’t feel she could have come to me. I would have helped her. I would have made sure he didn’t touch her.
“He’d remind me on a daily basis that if I ever told anyone, he’d make sure I’d regret it. Before I came here the other night, he threatened to kill you and me. He knew that first day I met you that there was something between us, and it got worse after that. I just needed you to know this. I hate that I’m putting you in danger by just being with you.”
“Listen to me, I’ll keep you safe. I’m not going to let him hurt you, and the guys are completely on board with this too. For once in your life, Maddy, you have people that care about you. Just let us.” I try to reassure her the best that I can.
“I really don’t know what I’d do without you, Carter.”
“So, is it safe to assume you’re spending your winter break with me?” The smile on her face is breathtaking, and I love that I can put it there.
“I’m not sure yet. What did you plan on doing?” She gives me a little smile to show that she knew exactly what she was asking. Why tell her when I could show her?
I grab her and kiss her, then gently ease her down so that she is lying on the couch. I settle myself on top of her and enjoy having her finally be mine. I run my hands up and down her sides, then I start kissing her neck, collarbone, and gently bite her earlobe. The sounds that she is making should be illegal.
She runs her fingernails down my back and I let out a low groan. She is incredible. All she’s been through and she still has the capacity to love. She grinds her hips against mine and I reach my limit. I jump up and start walking toward the bedroom. I know she isn’t ready for this.
“Where are you going?” She is clearly confused about my abrupt departure.
“To take an ice cold shower or two.” Her giggle is the last thing I hear before I close the door.
Madison
Being here with Carter today has been the best day of my life. I never thought I could be so happy in a relationship. While he is showering, I work on cleaning up. I hate that he jumped off of me earlier.
I know that he is just being considerate after what Chris had done, but he isn’t Chris. I wasn’t ready to have sex with Carter, but I love being able to be intimate with him and being comfortable with it.
Someone knocks at the door and my heart stops. Should I answer it? It isn’t even my house, and Carter is still in the shower.
I was standing there staring at the door when I heard someone yell. “This shit isn’t getting any lighter, you know!” I immediately recognize Shawn’s voice and hurry to let him in. He and Jason were standing there with cardboard boxes in their hands. “Two Musketeers movers at your service, Yoko Ono.”
“Why did you call me that?”
He smiles. “Because you’re breaking up our group, just like she did to the Beatles.” I laughed at his reference of me stealing Carter from them, but what are they talking about with the movers thing?
Jason shoves him and then looks over to me. “Don’t mind him. I think he may be more in love with your boyfriend than you are.” We all laugh at that.
Just then, Carter walks out of the bedroom in only his sweatpants. Oh my, the sight of him is enough to make me melt. His hair is still wet from the shower and messed up to perfection. His chest and his abs are so defined that they didn’t even look real. He looks like one of the models you see in the magazines that couldn’t possibly look like that in real life. His pants hang just under that delicious V that leads to the place that I so desperately want to explore.
“Yo, Carter. You gonna stand there like a Calvin Klein model, or you gonna come help us?” Jason yells from the door.
Carter looks at me and smirks. He caught me ogling him. “Yeah, let me throw shoes on!” he yells back. He slips his sneakers on and follows them outside. I walk out of the door and see Jason’s truck bursting with boxes.
Wait a minute. That is all of my stuff. What is going on? They all come in with boxes and I walk up to Carter. Before I can even ask him what is happening, he looks at me and says, “I knew you didn’t have any of your stuff with you and I didn’t want you going anywhere near Chris’ house. So, I called Shawn and Jason and begged them to get your stuff and bring it over. If they missed anything, we can figure it out later. I hope you’re not pissed at me, I just couldn’t stand-”
I grabbed his face between my hands. “You’re the most thoughtful, incredible, amazing, and wonderful man I could have ever asked for.” He leans down and kisses me. It isn’t intense like earlier, just gentle and loving.
“I need to go help the guys. Would you mind putting away the groceries? I also promised them dinner and beer. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No! Of course I don’t mind! I’ll cook so you can relax too. Isn’t there a game on tonight? Tell the guys they’re welcome to stay as long as they want.”
He leans down and gives me one last kiss. “You’re perfect.” He swats my butt and I giggle as I watch him walk away.
Carter
After the guys leave, Maddy and I go to bed. This day has been great. She fits into my life so well, and I hope she never leaves. We both had a really long day and, truthfully, I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms again.
All day I avoided asking her if she was staying per
manently. To be honest, I was scared of the answer. It was amazing being able to be with her and I wanted it to be like that every day, even when the semester started again. I sit down on the bed and look at her. “So, I know we still have a few more weeks, but what’s going to happen next semester? Are you going to go back to the dorms? Or did you want to move in permanently?”
I am trying to hide the desperation in my voice. If she wants to live at the dorms, I need to accept that and not let her know how disappointed I am.
“I think that’s up to you, babe. I love just being able to be here with you. I just don’t want to crowd you.” Her voice is laced with insecurity.
She could be permanently attached to me and it still wouldn’t be enough. I need to remember how things were with her and Chris. She needs reassurance that she is wanted, appreciated, and loved. “Baby, if it’s up to me, not only are you going to live in this house, but you’re never leaving this bed.” I grab her and yanked her down on top on me. She laughs, leans down and starts to kiss me. She rolls on her side and runs her fingers through my hair.
“If I’m going to be here through the holidays, do you think we could decorate? If you don’t want to, it’s okay.”
She wanted to decorate my house? My mom always decorated for the holidays but since she was gone, we never really knew how to do it right. I lean up and give her one more kiss. “We’ll go get a tree and all the trimmings tomorrow. Whatever you want, baby.”
“All I want is you.” God, it feels amazing to hear her say those words.
“You’ve had that since the first time I saw you.”
Chapter Twenty Four
Madison
It is Christmas Eve. Carter and I have been living together for almost two weeks now and it is amazing. We decorated his house with all of the Christmas decorations that we could find in the stores.
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