Home is Where the Heart is

by Mack, Christie

  Jordan nodded his head. “I went to her place this afternoon. She was unloading groceries from her car. She looked busy, so I didn’t get to talk to her for very long, but I did catch a quick glimpse of her boy.” Jordan rubbed the stubble on his chin.

  Nick smiled. “Yeah, he’s a good kid, but then again, I’m probably biased, because he’s also my godson.”

  “Oh, yeah? Well, he’s one lucky kid then.”

  Nick soon realized it hadn’t dawned on Jordan that he could possibly be Jake’s father. He wondered how quick of a glance Jordan had of Jake. It couldn’t have been too long or close not to pick up on the fact Jake was the spitting image of him.

  “What’s his name?” Jordan asked, and Nick figured it was for no reason other than to be polite.

  “Jake,” Nick simply stated, wondering if Jordan would figure out the significance of the name.

  Nick and Jordan continued to drink their beers in silence while watching the basketball game playing on the plasma television mounted to the wall of the bar, and then five minutes later, Nick was taken by surprise when Jordan asked for Cassie’s number. He didn’t want to be rude to his childhood best friend, so he read it off to him as Jordan saved it to his phone. Plus, what harm could come from giving a friend’s phone number to another old friend?

  “I can’t believe he had the nerve to come see you at home. Doesn’t he realize you don’t want to see him again after the way he broke up with you?” Gabby said bitterly, a glass of red wine in her hand as she sat down on the beige-colored sofa in Cassie’s living room and tucked her legs up underneath her. Gabby flipped her curly black hair over her shoulder. “Why would he even assume you’d want to make small talk with him? But on the other hand, he’s brave to try.”

  “I don’t know. I guess I can’t really blame him if he really wants to talk to me. I was his first love…and I am very desirable,” Cassie said with a laugh, not being able to say it with a straight face as she twirled a strand of blonde hair around her finger. Gabby giggled with her. Shit, now she sounded like Jordan.

  “Well, at least you can laugh about it now. Once upon a time, he hurt you so badly you couldn't even stand to look at a picture of him, let alone see him grace your television screen. But let’s not forget—he’s still an ass, and he definitely does not deserve you. You deserve someone who’s going to treat you like a princess, or at the very least some gorgeous man with incredible abs who’s good in bed. You know, my offer still stands for whenever you want to start looking for someone new to hook up with. We can go out whenever you’d like and make you forget all about Jordan. Let him see you’ve moved on. Then again, maybe he’s exactly what you need to make you see how much better off you are without him.”

  Cassie was stunned. “Are you crazy? I thought you just said I could do better than Jordan. Now you’re telling me I should hook up with him? What have you done to my best friend?”

  Cassie curled one leg up underneath herself, while she flexed the other out for a stretch.

  “I’m still the same Gabby you know and love, and yes, I still think you need new meat in your life to get over Jordan, but maybe one night with Jordan would make you realize how over him you really are. Crazy as it seems, it’s a possibility I think you should consider. You never know—it just may work. If he’s willing to stop by your house, then he just may be crazy enough about you for it to actually work.”

  “Yeah, well, nothing needs to be considered, because it’s never going to happen. I’m not looking to hook up with Jordan, or any other guy for that matter, but when I am, I’ll definitely come looking for you.”

  Gabby grinned, her fingernails making a clinking sound as she tapped them against her wine glass. “That’s all I ask,” she replied and took a sip of wine.

  Cassie placed one hand on her folded leg while leaning back against the front of the sofa. “So enough about me and my complicated relationship with Jordan…tell me about you and Nicholas.”

  Gabby shrugged her shoulders, not giving anything away. Her face showed little emotion and remained coy—much to Cassie's disappointment. She was looking for something…anything to find out about Nick and Gabby, and if there was something between them. “What’s to tell?”

  “I don’t know. What happened after I left last night?” Cassie asked, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gabby said, remaining tight-lipped. Cassie knew she wouldn’t be able to stay silent forever though; Gabby could never keep a secret for longer than a couple of days.

  “Oh, c’mon. Gabriella Torres! Yes, I went there—I used your full name. You know you can tell me anything. I’m your best friend. We have been since we were five years old, and you know you’re going to tell me eventually anyway. You can't keep things from me, just as I can't hide secrets from you. It's how you discovered I was pregnant in the first place, remember?"

  “That is true. Technically, I think I knew before you did, but that's just me. I notice everything. There isn't anything I don't notice before you, but how do you know I have something to tell?"

  “It’s simple—you always do. Besides, is it so wrong of me to want to know what’s going on between my two best friends? I’m just giving you the chance to tell me now before I find out later. We do live in Yellow Valley after all. Your business isn’t your business for very long.”

  “Well, that’s true,” Gabby said with a laugh. “Okay, let’s just say Nick showed me how he really feels about me.”

  “Oh, my God! I knew it! I knew he liked you,” Cassie squealed in excitement.

  “Wow! You’re shockingly enthusiastic about this. How did you know he liked me? I didn’t even see it coming.”

  Cassie shrugged one shoulder, lowering her tone of voice slightly as she said, “Well, of course you wouldn’t see it coming. You’re completely oblivious when it comes to men and relationships because you’re inexperienced in that department, but I don’t know...I guess it was just little things I picked up on.”

  “Such as?” Gabby was now interested to know how Cassie figured out Nick had feelings for her before she had.

  “It looked to me like his face would droop and frown whenever you would tell us about the new person you were casually seeing, and he’s always got that goofy yet oh-so-adorable grin on his face whenever you’re around. Plus, haven’t you wondered why we haven’t seen him in a relationship for a while?”

  Gabby shook her head. “No, not really, I just assumed the townsfolk of Yellow Valley were wary of Nick’s womanizing ways. He is the male version of me, after all.”

  “Well, I have, and when I asked him about it, he refused to tell me the whole reason why, but said he was simply not interested in playing those kinds of games anymore. He was ready to commit to one woman.”

  Gabby’s eyes grew wide with surprise. “And you think that’s me? Oh God, I hope not. I had no idea he felt that way about me. I thought we were just friends, like we’ve been all our lives.”

  “Yeah, but sometimes friendship can turn into something more. If you’ve known someone for as long as we’ve all known each other, you can start to see them in a different light.”

  “Well, I know, but I just assumed he liked you and even confronted him about it. That’s when he kissed me.”

  “Are you serious? Nick would never go there with me. He and Jordan may have a complicated friendship now, but he respects his long-time friendship with Jordan too much to act on something more with me. Besides, we’re not even compatible together.”

  “Oh, but Nick and I are?”

  Cassie grinned. “I think so, at least as compatible as Jordan and I were, and just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wouldn’t for you. Nick is nothing like Jordan; he’s got different priorities in life. So tell me, what are your feelings toward Nick?”

  “Why are you so interested in my life?” Gabby asked.

  “I have no love life, so I’m living vicariously through you,
and when I’m talking about your life, it means we’re not discussing the shambles of my complicated history with Jordan.”

  Gabby tilted her head backwards, resting it on Cassie’s plush sofa cushion while swirling the wine around in her glass, and let out a long sigh.

  “I honestly have no idea. I’m not sure how I really feel about him. The kiss changes the whole dynamic between us now, because he’s a huge part of my life already, and I cherish our friendship so much. By starting something with him, knowing my track record with guys and relationships, I think I’m afraid I will make a mess of it, and then our friendship will be completely destroyed. I can kiss it goodbye.”

  “All those other times obviously ended wrong, because they weren’t right for you. I think you’d do great in a relationship; you just haven’t found someone you can actually be in a relationship with yet. But I completely understand where you’re coming from, and if that’s truly how you feel about Nick, then you have to tell him. I know you’re going to feel like you’re breaking his heart, but you’re going to break his heart even more if you’re not honest with him and string him along, just like Jordan did with me. Trust me—it’s not a nice feeling.”

  “I know; you’re right.”

  Gabby and Cassie’s heartfelt conversation ended when Cassie’s phone began ringing. She didn’t know the caller, reading Unknown on the screen, and she wondered who would be calling her so late into the evening, but she pressed answer anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Cass? It’s Jordan.”

  Of course, she knew it was Jordan; she recognized his voice, and obviously Nick had given him her number since they were hanging out tonight. She was going to have to thank him when she saw him, meaning—rip him a new one.

  “How old is Jake?” Jordan asked her through the phone. His tone sounded serious, and she wondered if he had assumptions about Jake being his son.

  “He’s five,” replied Cassie. She didn’t sugarcoat her response; there was no need to lie about the answer.

  Without saying another word, she ended the phone call.

  “Who was that?” asked Gabby.

  “That was Jordan,” said Cassie, tossing her phone from hand to hand. “I’m guessing he’s had time to process the fact that I’m a mother, or he’s been talking to Nick, put two and two together, and come up with the conclusion Jake could be his child.”

  “Good old Nick,” mumbled Gabby. “What are you going to do?”

  For the first time, Cassie knew she had her answer. “Nothing. I don’t have anything to hide from Jordan. He is Jake’s father, but that doesn’t mean he has to be Jake’s dad if he doesn’t want to be. I'm not forcing him to be something he doesn't think he can handle. I've done okay on my own. I'm sure I can handle the next thirteen years of his life until he turns eighteen by myself."

  Cassie had handled life as a single mother for five years already. She didn’t need Jordan co-parenting with her if he couldn’t handle taking on the role as a father. She was perfectly capable of doing it alone, and she would make certain Jordan knew it.

  As soon as Cassie swung open the front door and revealed Jordan standing on her front porch at ten o’clock at night, she knew why he was there.

  “Is he mine?” His question pierced through her veins the same way she imagined it would if she were on trial for murder. Jordan shook his head as frown lines formed on his forehead. He looked furious, and he probably had every right to be, but she wasn't going to feel guilty for choosing to become a single parent instead of consulting Jordan about his role in raising their child.

  Cassie didn’t say a word. What else could she say?

  “You know what? Don’t worry. I already know the answer,” he said shortly, and deep down, she knew that already.

  He turned to walk away as Cassie let out a deep breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Everything happened so suddenly. Jordan stopped, turned toward her, and walked back until he was standing in her doorway again.

  “Fuck, Cassie! Why didn’t you tell me I had a kid? I had a right to know I’m a dad." The frown lines slowly disappeared from his face, but he still didn't look happy. In fact, his eyes looked troubled and tired. This time, he was expecting her to answer his question.

  “You’re asking the wrong person that question, and it’s late, Jordan. Go home. We can talk about it tomorrow.” She pushed him out onto her front porch.

  Jordan threw his fist against the half-closed door, shoving it open a little more. “No, I want to talk about everything now.”

  “Shh, Jake is asleep; you’ll wake him up. Can you please keep your voice down?” Cassie tried to quiet him in a hushed tone.

  Jordan cleared his throat, lowering his voice. “Who am I supposed to be talking to about it then? You’re his mother.”

  Okay, so there was no hope getting him to leave her house just yet, but she couldn’t have Jake waking up either, so she pulled the door almost closed behind her as she stepped out onto the porch. She was standing directly opposite Jordan, wrapping her jean jacket more tightly around her body, suddenly conscious of how she might look at this very moment.

  There was definitely a wintry chill in the night air; she could feel it. Or maybe it was because she was having to face questions from her ex-boyfriend—questions she didn’t feel like answering right now.

  “Why don’t you try your father?” Cassie prompted softly.

  “What does my dad have anything to do with it?”

  “He knew I was pregnant with your child. He begged me not to tell you because it would ruin your fledging career.”

  Jordan shook her off, trying not to believe the words coming out of her mouth. It had to be a mistake. His dad was powerful, but he wouldn’t hide something as big as his own son having a child.

  “No, I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”

  Cassie shook her head, tears almost ready to fall down her cheeks. “I’m not lying. I would never lie about something like this.” He could hear it in her soft, timid voice. Deep down, he knew she could never say something like that and it be a lie. “Go ask him yourself. He even tried to buy me off with money, just so you wouldn't find out about our son. I guessed at the time it showed him just how committed I was to being with you and I should have been grateful to know that he knew I wasn’t seeing anyone else and the possibility that my son was really yours, not someone other guy. According to him, it was my dirty little secret, not yours. I guess he didn’t want you to have to pay for the consequences of one of our nights of passion that turned into an unplanned occurrence in life.”

  Cassie hoped her words didn’t make it seem like she regretted Jake because not for one second could she ever regret the life she had created with Jordan. Jake was her everything.

  Jordan was stunned.

  “I didn’t take his money. I’m not desperate or dirt-poor enough to actually accept his money in exchange for pretending you didn’t have a son. I simply chose to become a single parent with plenty of support from Gabby, Nick, and Gabby’s parents too. They’ve become like surrogate grandparents to Jake since his paternal and maternal ones either live too far away to travel to see us a lot of the time, or the other ones think they are too good to bother acknowledging their only grandchild’s existence. Gabby’s parents have been really great to us. They even let us stay with them for as long as we needed until I could afford my own place.”

  Cassie hadn’t meant to sting Jordan, but she knew her words had burned a little. He could try to be as angry with her as he liked, but she refused to allow his words and actions to affect her choices in life. She wasn’t really to blame for him not knowing Jake was his child.

  And she certainly wasn’t going to allow Jordan to stand outside her front door yelling hurtful remarks at her. Not tonight.

  Cassie held the door open wider, a clear indication she didn’t want him here any longer tonight. Could he not understand that?

  “It’s late. I think you should go,” she told him.

&nbs
p; Jordan stepped closer to her, with his head bent down slightly to her level, and when he did, she could make out the faint smell of alcohol on his breath and the cologne he was wearing. She took one step backward, refusing to be pulled into his sweetness all over again, even though all she could think about was the lingering feeling of his lips touching hers.

  Oh God! She couldn’t fall into his trap again, not when this time she had so much to lose.

  Sensing the palpable anxiety she was feeling, Jordan croaked out an ‘I’m sorry’.

  “I know you are,” Cassie babbled, sticking to her guns despite her body feeling differently, “but you need to leave. You can’t be here right now. We can talk some other time. You really need to go home and sleep it off.”

  “And talk to my parents,” Jordan quickly added with a wince.

  Cassie raised her hand. “That’s up to you.” His words were true. He did need to go home and talk to his parents, particularly his father if he wasn’t too sick to have a meaningful and honest discussion with his son.

  “Fine, I’ll go, but we’re not done here.”

  Cassie couldn’t say another word. Instead, she just gave a simple nod of her head, knowing he was right.

  As Cassie watched him walk toward the bright yellow taxi sticking out against the dark night, Cassie shut the door, slid down to the floor with her back against the smoothness of the white, painted wood, and let out one big sigh. It took all her energy trying not to think of what was next to come her way.

  The next morning, after sleeping last night off, Jordan approached his father with delicacy. He had only been home from the hospital for two days, but Jordan needed to say what he had to say. He had to get it off his chest before he lost his nerve. Sometimes, talking to his father made Jordan feel intimidated. He understood why Cassie didn’t like talking to him.

  Jordan’s father, Clive, was sitting in his armchair in the study reading the daily newspaper.

  “Did you know?” Jordan asked, getting straight to the point, which startled his father slightly, because he jumped. When he saw Jordan standing in the doorway, he folded the paper together and placed it on the pinewood coffee table in front of him.