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Home is Where the Heart is

Page 6

by Mack, Christie


  Cassie abruptly pulled away, stepping back with her hands in the air as if to ward him away.

  “I...we can’t be doing this,” she hesitated, nothing making any sense to her whatsoever. She showed him to the door. “You need to go. Now.”

  Jordan made no attempt to leave; instead, he moved toward her with every intention of kissing her again. She couldn’t take it anymore. Something had to be done. She needed to know how he truly felt about her. Did he love her as much as she still loved him? As she hesitated on the spot, watching his gaze slide over her as if all her womanly curves were on display for him, she realized that despite his desire for her right now, he had no definite plans to be with her that she knew of. She needed to learn where she stood with him. It was now or never.

  “Jordan,” she whimpered groggily into his chest, as she linked one arm around his neck and used the other to hold onto the table for support. A part of her desperately wanted to live in the moment with Jordan, give herself completely to him with an all-access pass, while the other part of her knew no matter how good it felt to be kissed by Jordan and how much she knew her body was accepting of his, it simply couldn’t go any further than kissing. The moment was rushing too many hardcore memories back to the surface—memories she wasn’t sure she was ready to rehash all over again. Cassie couldn’t risk Jordan burning her again.

  “Don’t talk,” he carped, kissing his way along her neck until he found her lips again. Each kiss became more persistent, like he had been craving the opportunity to kiss her again for a long time.

  Then she felt herself struggling with her conscience, realizing that as much as she had wanted to have him kiss and touch her, it was wrong. She couldn’t open herself up to heartbreak again. She wouldn’t do it to Jake.

  “No,” she managed to get out, using her hands to push him away with all the ferocity she could muster together. She raised her hands to his chest, pushing him away from her with a little more force this time.

  “Are you saying you don’t feel the chemistry still between us? I do. I have since the tavern.”

  “You have no idea how much I’m turned on right now, and all I want to do is give in to these desires that I have for you, but I can’t,” Cassie answered softly. “You can’t go around playing with my feelings. Sure, you’re back now, but for how long? Sooner or later, you will go back to Miami, because it’s what you do and what you’re good at. Then I will be at square one all over again, wondering when you will come back to me and if you ever really loved me. I’m not going down that road again, Jordan. I realized a long time ago that you don’t live here anymore.” Cassie let out a deep sigh, moving past Jordan, unable to look him in the eyes as she turned the knob of the door and opened it. “You need to leave now.”

  And just like that, Jordan knew better than to argue with her. It wouldn’t get him anywhere—she could be just as stubborn as his father—especially tonight, when he was in no state of mind to argue back.

  Cassie watched him stagger down the path leading to the sidewalk; thankful his house was a mere four-or-so blocks away from here. He wouldn’t have far to walk, providing he was heading home to sleep it off, but she figured he had nowhere else to go. Home was his best option, despite not being on the best of terms with his father right now.

  She dreaded introducing her son to his father if he was only going to bail on being his dad. Jake didn’t deserve that one bit.

  A couple of days had passed since Jordan’s impromptu, drunken, late-night visit to Cassie’s house, and she was surprised by the fact she hadn’t heard a peep from her baby-daddy, making her wonder whether he had mulled over the decision of becoming a dad.

  Cassie didn’t understand what went through her ex-boyfriend’s mind at the best of times, but she figured it must be nice to be given the choice of whether he wanted to be a dad or not. Six years ago, it was a no-brainer for herself. Although Jake wasn’t planned, she really didn’t see any other option but to go through with the pregnancy and become a mother. Abortion was simply not an option for her; she couldn’t see herself going through with terminating her pregnancy. Adoption was out of the question, especially when she had carried the baby boy for nine months. To simply give him up—whether it would be for a better life or not—she couldn’t do that. She was his mother, plain and simple.

  Becoming a mom was the only choice that felt right to Cassie, and although it meant having to grow up a lot faster than most people her age, she wouldn’t go back and change her decision if given the choice to do so. Jake was her world. He meant everything to her.

  It was just another typical Saturday morning at Cassie’s house. Today was game day for Jake. Since the beginning of the season, he was a proud team member of the Little Devils Baseball Team, and he loved it. They played their games every Saturday morning at the local sports park in Yellow Valley with Nick as their coach, which usually meant that after every game, Nick treated the team to either pizza or ice cream—whether they won or lost.

  “Have you brushed your teeth?” Cassie called out to Jake from the kitchen.

  In a full burst of energy, Jake came striding into the kitchen in his baseball attire, consisting of white pants, cleated sneakers, and team jersey that read Little Devils on the front, and had the number eight stitched on the back.

  His face was full of smiles. He loved Saturdays and being able to play baseball with his little friends from school, but also the fact one of his favorite adults was his coach. He adored Nick just as much as Nick adored him. He was the best choice Cassie had ever made when she nominated him as Jake’s surrogate father figure.

  “I’m ready!” Jake said proudly, his mouth opening widely to show his mother how clean his teeth were, knowing she’d make him prove he’d actually done what she asked. It wouldn’t have been the first time Jake tried to fib his mom into thinking he had brushed his teeth when he really hadn’t.

  “Have you got everything in your bag?” she asked him, referring to his bag with the baseball mitt and bat Nick gave him as a present for his fifth birthday.

  “No, I’ll go get it. It’s in my room,” he replied then he sped off to his bedroom to retrieve his items.

  Cassie walked through to the foyer, pulling her blonde hair into a neat little twist on top of her head while she waited by the front door. Make-up was minimal today; she was thankful she was blessed with clear skin—regardless of the amount of make-up she did wear though—as she checked the light coat of powder and blush she had put on before she left her bedroom.

  Just enough, she thought to herself with a small smile.

  Even if she didn’t have somebody to look pretty for, it was nice to do it for herself on occasion.

  The shrill sound of her iPhone buzzed at her from within the side pocket of her black handbag.

  Cassie slipped the phone out and turned it over so she could see the lit-up screen. Jordan’s name flashed across the middle, next to the little text message symbol.

  She unlocked her phone, instantly entering into her messages to read his text.

  I’m sorry, but it’s just all too much for me right now. I can’t be the kind of dad Jake deserves to have, when I didn’t have it growing up either. It’s better if he doesn’t know about me.

  She should have seen it coming, but instead, there was a tiny piece of her heart ripped to shreds by Jordan once again. She couldn’t allow herself to think of him right now.

  Jake came running to the door with his bag on his shoulders, a huge smile planted on his face like he didn’t have a care in the world and all that mattered was baseball.

  Cassie’s heart melted back together slightly.

  Today and every other day would be all about Jake.

  Meanwhile, at an airport a few hundred miles outside of Yellow Valley, Jordan sat pondering over the choices he had made in his life as he waited for his flight back to Miami.

  What a bust of a return trip home this had been, he thought to himself.

  He thought back to the text he
sent Cassie, hoping she wouldn’t be too upset by his choice to bail on becoming someone’s father. It was better this way. Jake and Cassie were better off without him in their lives. Jake didn’t need him; Cassie had already proven that little fact. She was doing well as a single parent and didn’t need him turning their lives upside-down, which was all he ever would have done.

  But his mind kept flashing back to the afternoon he caught Cassie at home. His mind thought back to the little boy with ice cream around his mouth. His child. He still couldn’t believe it. He had a son, and Jake looked every little ounce like him.

  Jordan couldn’t help but wonder if leaving so soon was really the right decision for him. Knowing he was a father, could he simply walk away from getting to know his own kid?

  Conflicting feelings were building up from within. Jordan was suddenly torn over what to do. There was a time when leaving Yellow Valley seemed like the easiest thing to do, and although he was sitting at an airport waiting on his plane that would be ready to take him a thousand miles away from home, he doubted this time would be as easy as the last.

  Leaving home seemed like the easiest option, but it was also the coward’s way out. Sure, for Jordan, it made sense that getting out of Yellow Valley meant he was also getting away from his pretentious father, but it also meant that he would be a thousand miles away from Cassie and Jake. Was it really his best option right now?

  Jordan had already made the mistake leaving town once before, and by doing so, he had missed out on the opportunity to be a part of his son’s life—not to mention, share a life with Cassie. Was bailing this time around really worth missing the chance to get to know Jake?

  There were both pros and cons for his present life in Miami, where he had settled nicely into his Quarterback position with the Dolphins, residing in a luxury waterfront three-bedroom house. Had he not discovered Jake, it would’ve been so easy to slip back into his Miami life. But now, Jordan’s old life in Yellow Valley was on the brink of being yearned for.

  Suddenly, Jordan knew what he had to do—what would be the best outcome for everyone, including his father, Cassie, Jake, and those living in his new life in Florida. He just hoped that at some point he would be able to have the best of both worlds.

  Following the baseball game, in which The Little Devils won seven-to-two, Nick treated his entire team to pizza at the local Pizza Palace in town, serving as a good way for both children and their parents to unwind from a long week of work, school drop-off and pick-up, and other kinds of duties residents of Yellow Valley were involved in.

  Cassie was sitting in a booth alongside Gabby and Nick, devouring a slice of her favorite pepperoni pizza and chatting together, while Nick was in the play area of the restaurant watching Jake play with the other boys on the team and talking to their parents when a tall figure came in through the front doors of The Palace, walked to the front counter, and ordered a pizza.

  After paying for his pizza, the children’s glee and exhilaration distracted him from his usual headspace, and he turned around, spotting someone he knew all too well.

  She was here. Everywhere he went, there she was.

  Now was his opportunity to see her again, weaving around endless tables and chairs in the dining area until he was standing behind the booth she and her friend were occupying. Both of their eyes flicked to him. She didn’t look pleased either.

  “Hello, Cassie,” he said. His eyes lingered on her momentarily for the first time since the night she pushed him out the door.

  “Jordan, you’re back.”

  Jordan nodded his head. “I am.”

  “But I got your text,” she stated confused.

  “Yeah, I know what I said, but I got as far as the airport and realized I couldn’t walk away again, not when I could have the opportunity to get to know Jake as his dad. I want to be a part of his life—if you’ll let me.” He said it like it was Cassie’s decision whether she allowed Jordan to be a part of his son’s life. If she didn’t, then she would forever be known as the bad guy.

  Gabby stayed silent, but Jordan caught her rolling her eyes like she couldn’t believe the bullshit coming out of his mouth and she hoped her friend wouldn’t fall for the crap he was feeding her.

  “Well, you are his father, and I would never intentionally cut you out of his life. You should know your son. He should be a part of your life. I’ve always believed in that,” Cassie replied, maintaining eye contact with Jordan. Of course, he should have known she wouldn’t be cold and heartless enough to keep him completely out of Jake’s life. Cassie wasn’t like that.

  At that moment, in a complete burst of get-up-and-go, Jake bounded toward his mother. “Mommy, Mommy! I’m hungry,” Jake exclaimed while placing his hands on the edge of the table and jumping up and down.

  Gabby gave a slight gurgle.

  Cassie slipped an arm around her son’s small, bouncing body. “Of course you are, baby. You’ve had a big day. I got you some yummy pizza and it’s your favorite—extra cheese.”

  Jake’s eyes grew wider, and his mouth turned into a smile. “Cool!”

  He sat down next to his mom and stuffed a mouthful of pizza into his mouth as soon as she set a slice in front of him.

  Jordan stared at the little boy, suddenly seeing Jake in a whole new way. He wasn’t just Cassie’s son, but he was his son too.

  He took in the sports uniform Jake was wearing, reminding Jordan of the times he too wore that same outfit when he was a child. He used to love playing baseball, and he guessed Jake did too, judging by the larger-than-life smile he was sporting on his little handsome face.

  Jake lifted his head up from the table, his eyes peering over to Jordan in a guarded way. “I know you,” he mumbled with food in his mouth.

  “Jake, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Cassie told him.

  “Sorry.”

  Once Jake finished the bite of food he was chewing, he continued talking. “I saw you talking to Mommy.”

  Jordan got down to his level, looking into his big brown eyes—eyes that were identical to Jordan’s own.

  “Yes, you did. I’m a friend of your mom’s.” His gaze wandered toward Cassie, and he caught her eyes shifting down to the table as she played with the topping of her pizza as a diversion.

  “Oh, okay,” Jake said happily, his shoulders bouncing up and down. “Do you know Gabby and Nick? They’re Mommy’s friends too.”

  Jordan nodded his head. “I do.”

  “Cool! Nick is really cool! He’s my baseball coach.”

  “I know; I saw some of your game when I was driving back into town and passed the baseball fields,” Jordan said uneasily, finding it difficult to talk with his son. Words were suddenly hard to come by as he grasped for something to say. “You’ve got a good swing on you.”

  By the look on Cassie’s face, she was surprised and wondering why he hadn’t stopped in briefly to watch the game. Part of Jordan had wanted to watch his son play, since he obviously loved and reveled in the game alongside him, but at this point, Jordan was simply a stranger to his kid. Jake didn’t know of the connection and DNA they shared with each other.

  “You know, I used to play baseball when I was younger. I actually played with Nick.”

  Jake’s face lit up with glee as he looked over in Nick’s direction, sending a nod his way.

  “It’s true; we did,” he assured Jake.

  “Cool! Nick is really good at baseball. He helps me practice all the time.”

  A pang of jealousy flew through Jordan’s heart like a wrench. It should have been him teaching his son how to throw a pitch and hit a ball, but he couldn’t play the blame game and be mad at his child’s mother or best friend. Cassie had done her best to parent their child the only way she could, and Nick was filling the role of an absentee father like only a good friend would do. Jordan was here now though, and he was being given the opportunity to be a part of his son’s life.

  “Do you still play baseball?” Jake asked.

 
Cassie stopped her son. “That’s enough, Jake. We don’t want to bombard Jordan with too many questions.”

  Jake’s smile fell slightly. “Sorry.”

  Jordan shook his head. “It’s okay; I don’t mind. You’re just a very inquisitive little boy. And no, I don’t play baseball anymore; I play football instead.”

  “I like football,” Jake said before taking another bite of pizza, bringing silence to the table. Cassie played with the straw in her glass of soda while Gabby shot daggers at Jordan as if she was annoyed he was even here in the first place. He couldn’t come in and expect things to go back to the way they used to be, before he broke her best friend’s heart. It didn’t work like that. He would need to earn their forgiveness one slow step at a time. Even then, it would be a long road to recovery when it came to Gabby.

  Jordan liked Jake. He liked talking to his son, even though Jake wasn’t aware he was talking to his dad.

  Gabby slid out of the booth and got to her feet, looking at Jake with a huge smile spread across her face as she smoothed her straight black hair with her hand. “C’mon, buddy, let’s go check out that play area.” Then she turned to Nick and said his name in an odd tone of voice, giving Jordan the impression something was up between the two of them.

  “Okay!” Jake jumped up from the booth finishing the last mouthful of pizza, and off they went in the direction of the indoor jungle gyms.

  “What was that about?” Jordan asked Nick.

  “You don’t want to know,” mumbled Nick.

  Jordan knew to leave it alone, though he still wondered whether something was going on between his oldest friend and Gabby.

  Cassie looked up at him from where she was sitting—no smile in sight—and folded her arms on the table. “So are you serious about being a part of Jake’s life for good?”

  Jordan slid into the seat opposite Cassie so she could see he was serious.

  “I am. I wouldn’t have changed my mind about staying in town a little longer if I weren’t. He is my son, and I do want to get to know him—with your permission, of course.”

 

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