by Bradon Nave
“That sucks, dude. Sleep. Text me later,” I said as I turned to leave his room.
“Jess…dude.”
“Yeah, D?”
“Will you please get me a glass of water?” he whined.
“Yeah, man,” I chuckled as I headed down the stairs to the kitchen. Much to my horror, I found the entire kitchen in complete disarray. Fine flour dusted the once-shiny black granite countertops, and heaps of it was noticeable in several places on the hardwood floor. Pans and utensils were piled on either side of the kitchen sink. The entire kitchen was a complete disaster. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. Duke’s mother couldn’t have known about this; the woman would have killed him.
Walking up the stairs again, I was met by his snores once more. Quietly placing his water on his nightstand, I returned to the kitchen to start cleaning. Duke needed to be bailed out. As I began removing the pans from the sink, an idea crept into my head. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I called Kacey.
“What the heck, Jess? Can a girl not sleep in?” she said jokingly.
“Sorry.”
“You’re good. ’Sup?”
“Change of plans this evening if you’re cool with it.”
“We still hanging out?”
“Yup.”
“Then I’m cool with it. What’s the change?”
“We’re gonna help Lily and Duke bake her mom a cake. They failed…epically.”
“Oh…gosh. How epically?”
“Check your Snapchat.”
“’K,” she replied. “Oh my God, Jessie. Is that at Duke’s house?”
“Yes. I’m going to clean it up before his mom gets home. She’ll literally decapitate him.”
“Where are Duke and Lily?”
“Duke is asleep, and Lily is I guess at home…they’re stressing. I guess it caused drama. They were up until four.”
“Oh wow. You start cleaning. I’m going to jump in the shower and get ready. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done to help finish, and we can run to the store.”
“You’re awesome.”
“Tell them both to stay out of the kitchen until we’re there to help supervise…better yet, just tell them we’re baking it at my house this evening. Judy’s kitchen has been through enough.”
***
“I don’t understand where the hang-up was. Even with a cake made from scratch, it shouldn’t have been too complicated with a solid recipe,” Kacey said as we circled the center island in her kitchen. The entire house was gorgeous, but the kitchen was spectacular. A large oven was baking several layers of the cake.
“Kacey, you have no idea what we went through…like, I won’t ever try to prepare anything by myself other than water,” Lily said.
“The first one we put in, we followed the recipe step by step. But the middle was like pudding, and the outside was burnt. It went downhill from there,” Duke added.
“You two are seriously awesome,” Lily said.
“Jessie…man, I owe you. I could have cried when I saw that kitchen. I had just accepted the fact my mom was going to disown me.”
“You’re good, dude. But seriously, you two are banned from ever attempting to cook anything again. Good effort, but just no.”
“Fine with me,” Duke replied.
“It’s just about ready. About five more minutes,” Kacey said.
“I’m gonna go check your backyard if that’s cool,” Duke replied.
“Totally,” Kacey said, pointing to the door down the hall leading off the kitchen. Duke exited, followed by Lily.
As the back door closed, Kacey’s gaze rested on the large white mixing bowl with chocolate cake mix on the sides. “Wanna share?” she asked, grabbing the wooden spoon.
“It has raw eggs,” I objected.
“Live a little…what’s the worst that can happen?” she asked as she presented the spoon to me.
“You want details?” I said jokingly as I took the spoon from her, licking it. She took the spoon from my hand and sat it on the counter.
“Nope. I want music,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me in for a hug. Her hands worked their way up to my shoulders as her face rested on my sternum. Like matching puzzle pieces, we fit perfectly together.
“I have Spotify,” I said as I kissed the top of her head. Every hair on the back of my neck stood up as her fingers traced my spine. She slid her hand in my back pocket and removed my phone.
“Something slow,” she muttered into my chest.
A few seconds later, we were swaying softly to some song I’d never heard of before. The dim lighting and sweet-smelling cake in the oven created a perfect setting. She looked to me and kissed my chin as her hands went under my shirt, working their way along my sides. “Are you ticklish?” she asked.
“Little bit,” I replied as her fingertips traced my rib cage. “You should probably stop that,” I said softly as my lips rested against her forehead.
“Nope.”
“Okay, then.” My hands went in either of her back pockets. I gently squeezed her, pulling her closer into me as we began kissing.
“We really have to stop,” I whispered.
“Why?” she replied jokingly.
“We’ll burn the cake.”
She chuckled as she stepped away from me. Her smile had my head spinning. “You wanna go grab the culinary geniuses? They’re going to decorate this bad boy.”
“Will do.”
Walking down the hall, I peered out the door window to see Duke and Lily were embracing and talking. He was smiling, I couldn’t see her face, but I assumed she was happy too. I opened the door and stepped out. “Hey, guys,” I said softly.
Lily immediately looked toward me. I was surprised to see her face was sloppy and wet. She gently pushed away from Duke. “Jessie,” she said as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and walked toward me. “Thank you so much.” Before I could respond, she was hugging me. “You’re such a good person and an awesome friend. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“Lily…of course. Anything for you guys,” I said as I returned the hug.
“Seriously, bro. You two did us a solid. We owe you,” Duke continued.
“No, you don’t. You’ve done so much for me, D. This was small. This was nothing.”
“No, Jessie. This was huge to me. Thank you,” Lily said as she pulled away from me.
“Everything okay?” Kacey asked as she stepped outside. Lily immediately walked to her, sharing a hug with her too.
“Yes…but only because of you two. Thank you.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
“I don’t know. I guess because I was too busy looking at my date. It happened so fast that I honestly don’t know what happened. I just fell,” I said while smiling. Dr. Cline appeared amused as well as I sat in his office.
“No date-ending injuries, I assume?”
“Nope. I was pretty embarrassed, but I didn’t break anything.”
“That’s great. How do you know?” he asked inquisitively as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk.
“Ha. My dad. He basically did an entire workup on me right in front of my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking toward my shoes.
“Did your girlfriend or father drive you to the emergency room for imagery or a physician’s examination?” Dr. Cline asked, catching me by surprise.
“Um…no. I was able to move my arms. Dad checked me over. It was just a little tumble.”
“How can you be sure there was no hemorrhaging? What if there’d been internal bleeding?” His eyes looked fiercely cold as he stared me down.
“I was fine. I was laughing like right after it happened. I could move my limbs and I—”
“You observed the facts, right?” he asked, smiling suddenly.
“Yeah…I guess,” I replied as I resituated myself in the chair.
“Do you see where I’m going with this
? Rather than assume or allow your mind to send you on some wild anxiety-driven delusion that you might have fractured a rib, punctured a lung, internal hemorrhaging, or a brain bleed…you examined the facts that were presented. You’re young, healthy, and if you have to take a fall like that, now is the time to do it. Jessie, the chances of you suffering bodily harm from that fall are much higher than the chances of you developing the majority of the cancers you so fear, yet you were able to shrug it off and…I assume you enjoyed your date?”
“Yeah. I did,” I said as I thought about what he said.
“Now…please tell me about this girlfriend, if you don’t mind.”
Instantly, my throat tightened as my gaze diverted to the window. “She’s just a girl from school. I really like her, though.”
“Splendid. Jessie, I need to reiterate that it’s highly important that you surround yourself with people that truly have your best interest at heart. Often when we we’re feeling dark on the inside or low…we gravitate toward others that are possibly experiencing those feelings too. That’s okay, but I need you to be wise about it.”
“Huh?” I asked.
“It’s okay to seek out comfort from others in, say, a group setting such as a support group where there is constructive guidance in a controlled environment. Just please be careful about who you spend your time with. The wrong person confusing your emotions at this phase in the process could be a setback.”
I understood he only had my best interest in mind, but hearing his words was still difficult. “I think I surround myself with good people. I know for a fact that both my dad and my best friend would more than likely take a bullet for me. The only other people I really associate with are my best friend’s mom and his girlfriend and my girlfriend.”
“How long have you been friends with this best friend?”
“Most of my life. He’s practically family.”
“And how long have you known this new girlfriend?” he asked as he eyed me, turning his head.
“Not very long. She’s cool, though.”
“Again, do you feel you’re stable enough to maintain a healthy sexual relationship at this point in your life?”
“We’re not having sex,” I said softly.
“You’re nineteen, Jessie. It’s only a matter of time.”
Looking toward my folded hands, I lightly chewed the inside of my cheek. “I just want to be regular. I want some normalcy,” I said softly.
“I understand that…with time, you’ll have that. This is an important time. I want nothing more than to see you heal. I need you focused on healing and being happy with your progress. You have the rest of your life for normalcy. Jessie, you already know you’re an extremely attractive young man. Finding another girlfriend once your therapy is complete isn’t going to be an issue.”
“I don’t want another girlfriend. I feel like she’s…like she’s helping me,” I muttered, my gaze fixated on my hands.
“Helping you how?”
“She makes me happy. I love being around her. She makes me laugh, and I could use that right now.”
“Yes, you could. But you also need grounded and controlled relationships with well-balanced individuals.”
“She is…she’s one of the best people I’ve ever met. She’s totally well-balanced. I’ve never met anyone like Kacey, and I think—”
“Kacey?” Dr. Cline snapped. Shit.
“Um…yeah,” I said as I felt my eyes widen and my heartbeat accelerate.
“You’re dating my niece Kacey?”
“Yes, sir.”
His office chair turned from me so I was looking at the back of the dark leather. “Please explain to me how this well-balanced relationship came to be,” he said.
“Are you upset with me?” I asked, my voice cracking as I looked to see my hands shaking. The thought of this session potentially causing an issue with my relationship was horrifying.
His chair slowly turned back around. I looked upon the face of a man who seemed concerned—not upset. “No, Jessie. I’m not upset with you. I would like you to answer the question.”
Breathing heavily, I looked toward the floor. “We met at school. She lost her dad not too long ago—”
“My brother,” Dr. Cline sharply confirmed.
“Yeah. We just hit it off. We have a lot in common.”
Dr. Cline inhaled deeply through his nostrils and exhaled passively. “Anything you tell me is confidential, young man. I need you to listen to me closely, okay?” he said softly, leaning closer to me.
“Okay,” I responded.
“Sometimes people come into our lives for whatever reason, and the relationships we develop with them are built during times of such adversity that the blinders it slaps on us are almost welcome.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re saying, Dr. Cline.”
He leaned even closer to me, looking intensely and directly into my eyes. “Jessie, some of the most beautiful things on this earth are also the most toxic,” he said softly. “I need you to be careful. I genuinely care about you and your well-being. I mean that with every fiber of my professional being. I will go above and beyond to assure that you have a happy, healthy life. I want nothing more than for you to conquer this mental affliction and make the absolute most out of this life. As your provider…I have never been more concerned about your well-being than right now.”
“What?” I forced a chuckle. “Because of Kacey? She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”
Dr. Cline said nothing as his nostrils slightly flared with each inhalation. His eyes, wide and nearly wild, seemed fixed on me. “I think that will all today, Jessie,” he said slowly.
“No,” I said as I sat forward in my chair. “I…I like you, Dr. Cline. I don’t want you pissed at me. I promise you I’m not bangin’ your niece. I swear to God—”
“It’s not about that, Jessie,” he said softly, his lip curling into a lazy smile on the left side of his mouth.
“But you’re upset with me. I know you are,” I said, sitting back forcefully in the chair as I looked toward the floor. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. It just happened. I met a girl I really like, and it just so happens she doesn’t think I’m a damn freak…I thought it was a win,” I said in a defeated tone.
“Look at me, young man,” Dr. Cline demanded. I obliged. “You are not a damn freak. You’re an intelligent young man that has a lot to offer this world. I look forward to our sessions because of the progress I see every single time. I’ve come to care deeply about you, and the last thing I want at this point is regression.” He leaned forward again; his gaze seemed softer. “I understand there are things in life that we just have to experience to learn. Please know my door is always open and you are welcome to call me anytime…day or night. I mean that, Jessie.”
“’K,” I replied. A sick feeling of guilt lingered in my gut as if I’d done something wrong. “So you’re not mad?” I asked once more.
“No,” he replied solemnly with a tired-looking smile.
“Promise?”
“I’ll never lie to you, Jessie. I’m not upset with you.”
“All right. I’ll go. I’m going to the gym.”
“Be safe, Jessie.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
“The entire conversation was just ridiculously odd. So awkward,” I proclaimed as Duke and I sat on the wooden benches in the men’s locker room at the gym. Shirtless, he leaned his shoulder a ways back against the wall, his head completely drenched in sweat.
“Man, I dunno. Maybe he just thinks it’s a bad idea because you’re both going through the same type of stuff and you’re both talking to him about it…ya know?”
“Nah, D. He straight up said some stuff like she was toxic…or something like that.”
“Kacey? Toxic? That’s absurd. She’s a sweetie,” Duke said, his red cheeks glistening with sweat. “Dude, Jess, look at my belly button…it’s completely full of sweat; it’s like a little swimming
pool,” he said proudly.
“A disgusting little swimming pool.”
“Maybe she’s like a killer or something. Maybe she’s a total psycho and she’s got us all fooled,” Duke said.
“Really, D?” I shot my friend a sarcastic look as I tossed him a towel. “Well, she’s with Lily right now, so you better hope you’re wrong.”
“I’m wrong…by the way. The cake was total hit. Her mom flipped.”
“Yeah, I saw the video Lily uploaded.”
“You should have seen the one we didn’t upload,” Duke said, smiling crassly as his head rested on the wall.
“Gross.”
“For real, bro. That girl totally showed her appreciation,” he continued.
“That’s kinda messed up. It was my idea…I shoulda got some play,” I replied while smiling.
“Ha. You and Kacey haven’t hooked up yet?”
“Nope,” I replied, instantly regretting bringing up the conversation. If and when Kacey and I did explore that option, I wouldn’t be discussing the details the way Duke discussed he and Lily’s sexual ventures.
“What’s the holdup?”
“I dunno. I’m not in any hurry.”
“Isn’t your arm getting tired?” he asked jokingly.
“Nope. Switch-hitter. And I always have Judy’s arm if I need backup.”
“You know she’s right over there listening, don’t you?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” I replied. “Do you think I should tell Kacey? Do you think she’ll be pissed I let it slip?”
“That you farted? Nah, man, that’s natural.”
“So stupid. That I told her uncle we were—”
“I know what you meant…you kinda have to, Jess. I mean, if you don’t and she finds out another way, she might get pretty pissed. I would tell her.”
“Yeah. I wish I wouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Why did you?”
“I told him how I fell down the stairs.”
“Did he laugh at you? I would have laughed at you.”
“No…he smiled and basically told me if I didn’t freak out about not being hurt from a fall, then I could use that when I start freaking out about the other.”