Life After Love

by K. G. MacGregor

  “I saw that you already helped yourself to some of the photos.”

  “Just the ones of my family.”

  “Nothing of me, I noticed. You’re just going to erase those years. Our wedding, our honeymoon in Puerto Vallarta. It must be nice to feel so happy with your new life that you don’t even need your memories. Maybe I can look into some kind of surgery…a lobotomy or something. They can fix it so it never happened.”

  “Stop, Allyn. You’re doing it again.”

  “Doing what? Pointing out what a lowlife sack of shit you are? Yeah, I’m doing that again.”

  “For Christ’s sake…will you please be gone on Saturday so we don’t have to go through this again?”

  “I’ll think about it.” She ended the call, reveling in this small flash of power, the first time since Friday she’d felt anything but helpless.

  Chapter Four

  Bea nearly stumbled when Dexter stopped to inspect a juniper bush. She’d been focused on the two-story house, light blue with slate-gray shutters and an honest-to-goodness white picket fence enclosing the front yard. Affixed to that fence was a For Sale sign.

  She didn’t usually make home deliveries, but Allyn hadn’t picked up her mail in almost two weeks. By all accounts, this year’s flu was hard to shake, and she was worried Allyn’s had progressed to something more serious.

  There was only one car in the driveway, a black Volvo coupe she recognized as Allyn’s. The drapes were drawn in every room, a likely sign no one was home.

  A sturdy porch banister made the perfect hitching post for Dexter, a cautionary move to keep him from jumping in case someone answered the door. His tail twitched with anticipation as she rang the doorbell a second time.

  “Looks like we wasted a trip, Dex.”

  She’d given up and started down the steps when she heard the latch turn.

  Allyn appeared, squinting and shielding her eyes. She looked ghastly. No color in her cheeks, no shine in her hair. She was dressed in yoga pants, a sweater two sizes too large and bedroom slippers.

  “Special delivery. Your mail was stacking up, and Dexter and I got worried that you couldn’t shake the flu. Looks like we were right.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that. I’ve been meaning to come by but I didn’t feel up to it.” She brightened a bit when she noticed Dexter, who was dancing with excitement. “I bet you’re waiting for a biscuit.”

  “Sorry, I’ve tried to teach him not to beg, but he always associates you with treats.”

  “I’ll go get him one. I have a whole jar I bought just for him.”

  When she returned, Bea nodded toward the real estate sign. “You’re moving?”

  “Afraid so,” she said, her voice carrying a hint of sadness even as she smiled at Dexter. “You like that? Let me see if there’s another one in this pocket.”

  “Now you’re spoiling him.” Over Allyn’s shoulder, Bea could see all the way through to the kitchen, and she noticed the dining area was devoid of furniture and the rug rolled up. “So where are you going? Not far away, I hope.”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t started looking yet.”

  There was no mistaking her choice of pronouns. If something had happened between Allyn and Melody, that would explain not only the missing furniture and For Sale sign, but also her hollow look and disappearance over these past two weeks.

  Or maybe her use of “I” only meant that Allyn was tasked with finding a new home because her work hours were more flexible than Melody’s. It would be a shame if they were struggling financially and their furniture had been repossessed. Some people lived beyond their means. Sudden job cutbacks or unexpected expenses could be devastating, and the mortgage on a home this nice had to be quite high.

  Whatever the reason, it was none of her business.

  “That flu must have been killer. Feeling better?”

  Allyn grunted and shook her head dismissively. “I wasn’t really sick, just…everything sort of went all to hell. My wife found someone she likes better than me.”

  “Oh, my gosh, Allyn. I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks. It’s fair to say I’m not handling it very well.”

  “No one handles something like that well.” Though she’d never had to deal with a cheating lover, Bea certainly had known her share of heartache, and it was useless to tell Allyn the hurt would pass. Even though it was true, she wouldn’t believe it until she was ready. “Is there anything I can do to help? I don’t know what it would be…Dexter would love to have you along for a walk if you feel like getting out of the house.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I doubt I’d be very good company.”

  “You don’t have to be. We don’t even have to talk at all. Just grab your sneakers and let’s go get some air.”

  Allyn looked at her dubiously, but nonetheless disappeared into the house and returned wearing dark sunglasses, a brown bomber jacket and blue and gold trainers. “I can’t go far. I’m supposed to go meet my attorney this afternoon.”

  Broken relationships were bad enough without having to deal with attorneys. That was the downside of having the state recognize your marriage.

  “You can lead the way if you want,” Bea said. “I can’t be gone that long either. I told Kit I’d be back in an hour or so. She’s in the shop by herself. I really need to hire some more help.”

  They let Dexter set the pace, which meant stopping every few feet to let him sniff the ground.

  After a few minutes of troubled silence, Allyn finally spoke. “When I first met Dexter, I couldn’t believe how friendly he was. You always hear about what a vicious breed pit bulls are.”

  “Yeah, they get a bad rap. If you ask me, it’s the owners who are vicious. Dexter’s basically a mush ball.”

  “So how come you named him after a serial killer?”

  Bea laughed. “That’s what they called him at the animal shelter. I tried to change it a couple of times, but nothing else would stick. There were seven others in his litter. I picked him because he was the most independent, kind of like me. I didn’t want him to be lonely when I went out.”

  “Why didn’t you just get two of them? They could have kept each other company.”

  “Are you kidding me? One Dexter is about all I can handle. He’s all over my furniture whenever I turn my head, and he eats more than I do.”

  Allyn slipped another treat from her pocket and rewarded him when he sat. “I would have liked having a dog around the house, but Melody didn’t want the hassle.”

  “Yeah, they can be a pain sometimes but they’re more than worth it if you ask me. He’s great company, and I never have to worry about him getting mad at me or being in a bad mood.” Nor did she have to worry about him cheating on her. “Even if I ignore him all day, all I have to do is show him a little attention and he turns into a bouncing pile of joy. Like happiness in a fur coat. Maybe you should get one now.”

  “No, I couldn’t do that. Melody will come back when she gets this insanity out of her system. It’s like an eleven-year itch or something. There’s no way this other woman is going to give her the kind of life she had with me.” Though her words were optimistic, her voice shook with doubt. “I think we both got complacent. We took what we had for granted instead of making each other feel special. Relationships take a lot of work, even the good ones. Or especially the good ones. You have to pay attention all the time so you can be sure you’re both growing in the same direction.”

  Allyn obviously considered this only a temporary setback, and Bea hoped for her sake she was right. “It would be a shame for you guys to lose such a nice house. Maybe you should offer it out on a short-term lease while things shake out.”

  “That’s what I thought too, but Melody’s really pushing to sell it. Maybe it just hit her all of a sudden that we had this huge mortgage hanging over our heads. So much pressure to deal with every day. It’s a lot more house than we need. This way we can start over with a clean slate. Who knows? If she needs a change, we mi
ght even decide to leave Seattle.”

  Her musings didn’t seem realistic to Bea in light of the fact she was on her way to see an attorney this afternoon. More like the denial phase of grief.

  “Look, I know you’re feeling awful right now. I don’t blame you one bit. But we’ve all been there at one time or another and if you ever feel like talking to somebody, I’ve got a pretty good ear. Or even if you just want a change of scenery and a friendly face or two, give us a yell. Dexter and I take a walk every day.”

  “We’ve all been there?” Her voice took on a bitter edge. “Have you ever had someone you love lie to you for six months? Start a secret life with somebody else? Kick you out of your own house?”

  “Not that, but I went through a really painful situation a couple of years ago. It’s tough when somebody else has all the control. I couldn’t even—”

  “So you haven’t actually been there,” Allyn said bluntly. “Melody was the person I planned to be with until the day I died. I don’t mean to be rude, but if this hasn’t happened to you, then you don’t have a clue what it feels like. Nobody does unless they’ve lived it.”

  “You’re right, Allyn. But I know it hurts.” She also knew it was little consolation to hear that others had survived heartbreaking ordeals. Everyone dealt with grief in their own way.

  “Hurt doesn’t even begin to describe it.” Allyn emptied her pocket and tossed two more treats toward Dexter. “I need to be getting back. Enjoy your walk.”

  Bea watched her walk away, wishing there were something useful she could say. Whether Allyn believed her or not, she knew exactly what it felt like to lose the one person she thought she’d have forever.

  *

  Jeremy Bronson was primly dressed in a pale blue shirt with a yellow tie, and his short blond hair glistened with styling gel. As he reviewed the papers from Melody’s attorney, Allyn quietly calculated the cost of his professional expertise at roughly five dollars per minute and hoped he was a fast reader.

  “I’ll be honest with you, Allyn. I never thought we’d be doing this.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  Jeremy had handled their paperwork eight years ago when she and Melody filed for legal recognition as domestic partners, and again after they stood in line at city hall for seven hours with hundreds of other gay and lesbian couples who married on the first day Washington’s same-sex marriage law took effect.

  “As divorce filings go, this is more or less a standard first offer, or as I like to call it, wishful thinking. Just because we’re a no-fault divorce state doesn’t mean both parties should be equally accountable. You’re going to incur quite a few expenses, and under these circumstances it’s perfectly reasonable for you to ask Melody to cover those.”

  There were moments when Allyn wanted to take Melody for every penny she might earn as long as she lived. Then her rational side kicked in, the one that held out hope Melody would realize her mistake and beg to be forgiven.

  “How much expense are we talking?”

  “If your real estate agent is right about your appraisal, you should make a modest profit on the sale of your home, but realtor fees and closing costs could wipe that out and maybe then some. There are also moving expenses to consider, plus the things you’ll have to replace if Melody claims them in the settlement. And of course, my fees.”

  If she were to drag her feet—perhaps by refusing to negotiate with potential buyers on the price of the house—it would buy time for Melody’s epiphany. On the other hand, selling right away might be the only way to show Melody how much she’d lost, like the alcoholic who had to hit rock bottom before realizing she had to change.

  He rubbed his chin as he continued to study the document. “Melody is asking for a strict division of marital assets by value. Typically that means she doesn’t actually want half of your shared possessions such as house furnishings, but half their monetary value. My suggestion is we cross that out and stipulate that she’s entitled to half the house settlement, her vehicle, her personal items, such as clothing and electronics, family heirlooms and any assets she brought to the relationship eleven years ago.”

  “She took those things with her when she moved out. Does she seriously expect me to write her a check now for her half of the rest?”

  “That’s what she’s asking, but we’ll strike it. My experience is that people rarely push for that in a final settlement.”

  “So what am I supposed to do with all that furniture? I can’t afford a house big enough to put it in.”

  “No, and I would advise against purchasing another house right now anyway. Following a divorce, most people experience a decline in their standard of living but you can mitigate that by controlling your expenses until you feel financially confident again. Rent something small, an apartment or a condominium. Then pick out the contents of the house you really want to keep and sell the rest on Craigslist.”

  It was true she didn’t need a lot of space—one bedroom and an area she could use for an office. Even if Melody came back, there was no reason they needed a large home, especially since it was the idea of having children that had sparked Melody’s anxieties in the first place.

  Jeremy looked over their most recent joint tax filing, shaking his head. “No way. We’re definitely crossing that off.”

  “Crossing what off?”

  “I was looking down this list of joint marital assets, and it includes the pensions you’ve both earned during the marriage. Melody was barely vested in the state employees’ pension, while you’ve put quite a bit away in a Roth IRA. That means you’d owe her money, but under the circumstances of your separation, that’s completely unacceptable.” He continued to redline items on the divorce agreement. “In fact, it’s our position that you shouldn’t have to endure any financial losses at all, certainly nothing out of pocket. We’ll ask that Melody cover all closing costs on the sale of your home if it’s sold at a profit. We’ll also insist that she pay your attorney fees. That isn’t unusual in a situation where one of the partners has broken the marriage contract. Her lawyer may strike all of these changes, but we’ll put the bigger ones back in. Who knows? If she’s really eager to get on with her life, she might even accept our revisions right away.”

  “I don’t want to make this easy for her.” She didn’t want Melody to get on with her life, certainly not more than she already had—a new job, a new home and a new lover to keep her warm at night. There were no pieces for her to pick up in Tucson. “But I don’t want to make her so mad that she won’t ever consider coming back. I still believe this is just a phase. It’s exciting to have an affair with someone. The glamour will wear off when everyday reality sets in.”

  Though he listened patiently, she could tell from his sympathetic look that he wasn’t convinced. “Allyn, I know these situations can be very difficult to accept, but it’s my experience when people get as far as filing one of these, the marriage usually doesn’t recover. It all seems quite sudden to you, but keep in mind that Melody has had several months to adjust. While you still have strong feelings of love and trust, that probably isn’t true for her. Nothing is certain, of course, but I think it’s wise for you to prepare as if it’s going to end.”

  It was only when he pushed a box of tissues across his desk that she realized she’d begun to cry.

  “You were smart to bring this agreement to me. Some people just sign it because they’re still trying to please their former spouse. They don’t realize what they might be forfeiting. They expect to be treated fairly because they still feel married. Melody believes she can get away with taking advantage because you’re vulnerable and she’s probably accustomed to getting her way in the marriage. Am I right?”

  Allyn nodded, unable to speak.

  “She profoundly abused your trust and you shouldn’t trust her anymore. My job is to make sure she doesn’t continue to abuse you in this settlement. I’ve had many clients who were willing to make concessions just so they could put this painful chapter
behind them. But then when the hurting stops, they realize they’ve sacrificed too much. It’s entirely possible one of you will feel that way. I want it to be Melody. Not you.”

  *

  Allyn’s hand shook so hard she could barely scroll her computer screen. Through her tears, she read again Melody’s email response to Jeremy’s revised settlement, hoping against hope for a clue as to what she could do to erase its devastating message.

  I just got your copy of the divorce agreement, and all I can say is WOW! If you think by sticking it to me you can make me change my mind, I’ve got news for you. I’m even more determined than ever to divorce you even if I have to take out a loan to do it.

  It’s very sad to think we could have at least been friends after so many years together but you had to go and ruin that by being petty and vindictive. Now that you’ve reduced our whole marriage to dollars and cents, consider it the price of our friendship. I hope it was worth it.

  Attached was a scanned copy of Jeremy’s document, signed and dated without changes. In three short months, their marriage would be over.

  Chapter Five

  Before she settled on the Ballard location for her franchise, Bea had explored the district of North Seattle. In particular, she liked Broadview, since it was densely populated and several miles from a US Post Office. The problem back then was there was already a Pak & Ship in the neighborhood. Now, seven years later, that franchise was for sale and she was considering making an offer. Another small business loan, two or three more employees—likely doable unless there were problems she didn’t yet know about.

  Pak & Ship was one of the fastest growing franchises in the country, so it was difficult to understand why anyone would want to unload one, especially in a prime location. A bustling supermarket anchored the shopping center while a pharmacy, bank and hardware store brought additional traffic. Plenty of parking, easy access. This store should be raking in money but the asking price didn’t reflect that.