by E. L. Todd
I walked two blocks before the guilt struck me. That girl seemed pretty young, younger than twenty-five, and she clearly had too much to drink. I didn’t even make sure she got home okay. She wasn’t my problem but I felt terrible. I was an ass to a lot of people, but I knew when I needed to drop the act and be a good person.
After a deep sigh, I turned around and went back to the bar.
She was in the same place but her glass was empty. Guys at the bar were eyeing her and wondering just how drunk she was. Her eyes widened in recognition when she saw me.
I approached the table. “Can I walk you home?”
“Well, I can’t go home right now.”
“Why?”
“Hannah took Sawyer back to her place.”
“You live with your sister?” That’s pretty lame.
“I lived with my boyfriend until I caught him cheating. I’ve been staying with her until I find a new place.”
“Oh…” Now I felt like a jerk for thinking she was a loser.
“Well, I think you’ve had too much to drink. Why don’t you come to my place and sleep it off?”
“I’m okay here.”
I wasn’t going to let her wait around like vulnerable prey. The fact Hannah let her sister be in this situation at all was disconcerting. Lacy was bound to make a mistake in her condition. “Come with me. I live close by.”
“You’re only asking because you feel bad for me.”
“Yes, that’s exactly why I’m asking.” I wasn’t going to baby her. “Now let’s go. Don’t make me ask twice.”
She held my gaze before she rose from the booth, wobbling slightly as she got to her feet. “Fine.”
Now my conscious was clear. “Thank you.”
***
When we entered my apartment, she immediately lay on the couch. “Can I have something to sleep in?”
I didn’t want to be stuck with this girl all night. I wanted to go to Alessandra’s place and snuggle in bed with her. She was so good in the sack. She made my dick very happy. “Yeah, sure.” I grabbed a t-shirt and shorts and handed them to her along with a pillow and blanket. “You’ll be okay out here.”
She was too tired to speak. She just nodded.
“Well, I’ll be in my room. Good night.”
“Night…”
I walked into my bedroom then shut the door. Once I was in bed, I thought about Alessandra. My dick got hard because I was used to being satisfied by her. But now she wasn’t there and I’d have to sleep alone.
Alessandra
I didn’t talk to Ash for a few days. I knew he was busy with work and other things so I didn’t pester him, but I was anxious to finish our conversation. Now that I was certain there was something between us, whether he realized it or not, I wanted to tell him how I felt.
I didn’t expect a relationship.
I didn’t expect him to love me.
But I expected something.
Maybe we could start off slow and just talk about where things might lead. Maybe we could go on a real date. Maybe we could change from being friendly fuck buddies to monogamous partners.
I wouldn’t know until I asked.
By Saturday morning, I’d waited long enough. I didn’t want to call him because he might be asleep but I wanted to surprise him. I knew where his favorite place was to eat brunch, so I went by and got his order before I headed to his apartment. I thought we could lie in bed and eat it together.
He would appreciate it.
I arrived at his door and knocked with the plastic bag of food in my hand. It took almost a full minute before I heard the sound of footsteps on his kitchen tile. The door unlocked then cracked open. “How can I help you?” A small brunette opened the door wearing Ash’s t-shirt and shorts.
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened.
The bag of food was still in my hand but I almost dropped it.
Was this real?
Was this a nightmare?
Her eyes were barely open like she just woke up. “Who are you?”
“I…” I stared at the food in my hands and felt like a complete idiot. I thought Ash and I could be something more but I completely misread everything. I projected my own feelings onto him when they didn’t exist and now I felt stupid—and heartbroken. “Where’s Ash?”
“In the shower. You want me to tell him you stopped by?”
“No,” I blurted. That would lead to an uncomfortable conversation later. I didn’t want him to know I was pathetic and showed up on his doorstep with breakfast from his favorite joint.
God, I was such an idiot.
He told me from the beginning nothing would ever happen between us. I should have believed him. Why did I think he could ever change? It wasn’t his fault because he didn’t do anything wrong. It was completely my wrongdoing. Why did I think I was different? Maybe he was like that with all girls? Maybe he stuck around with me because he continued to get what he wanted without any commitment.
Thank god I didn’t say anything and make myself look like an idiot.
“Uh, anything else?” the girl asked.
“No.” I shook my head quickly.
She just stared at me.
I left the doorstep and headed down the hallway. The trash shoot was on the way so I shoved the breakfast inside and heard it fall all the way down to the bottom. Then I kept going and felt my heart break cleanly into two pieces.
***
“Is that hunk of a man your man yet?” Shelly asked at the office.
Just when I stopped thinking about it, she brought it up. “It’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” Disappointment was in her eyes, like I’d just taken away a really good treat.
“It’s a long story but…it’s not going to happen.”
“I want the long story,” she said firmly.
I told her everything that happened, even the part where I tossed the perfectly good food in the garbage.
“What a dick,” she snapped.
“He’s not a dick,” I said. “He didn’t do anything wrong. But that doesn’t mean it’s not painful.” It wasn’t until I saw him with another girl that I realized just how much I wanted him for myself. Knowing he was intimate with someone else, shared the same experience we had countless times, just made me feel empty. I guess I didn’t mean anything to him after all.
“But he told you he hadn’t slept with anyone.”
“Maybe saying that made him realize he should.” I stared at the stationary on my desk because I couldn’t handle the pity in Shelly’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, girl…”
“Thanks. I’ll get over it.”
“You know what this means, right?”
“No.” Was I supposed to?
“You need to move on and start dating. You need to forget about Ash.”
I knew she was right, but I realized how pathetic I was when I didn’t want to. Ash and I didn’t have a chance to be together so I needed to look for someone else. When we started hooking up, I never expected to develop feelings for him. Three months later, I was head-over-heels. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I know the perfect person.”
“You do?” That fast?
“My brother.”
“Whoa…hold on.” Wouldn’t that be weird? “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“My brother is a really good guy. He had a bad break up about six months ago and he still hasn’t gone out with anyone. You two are perfect for each other.”
Because we’re both losers?
“He’s a lawyer, he’s twenty-eight, and he’s cute. I mean, he’s related to me so he’s obviously good looking. And I want to find my brother a nice girl that won’t rip his heart out.”
“I don’t know…”
“It’s happening. Just get over it.”
When Shelly had her mind set, she didn’t budge.
***
I didn’t know what I was thinking when it came to Ash. I was so convinced that I’d nev
er fall for him. He wasn’t my type—at all. He was headstrong, stubborn, and so full of himself it was ridiculous.
But I loved so many other things.
Why did I let this happen? He made it clear it was just meaningless sex and I accepted those terms. Why did I assume things had changed? A guy may act one way but that doesn’t mean anything. Ash probably didn’t feel anything for me at all. I was just a friend he liked to hang out with and someone he liked to fuck too.
How did I get myself into this mess?
Now I was going on a blind date. That’s how low I’d stooped. Shelly wouldn’t set me up with a freak, but since the guy was her brother, she could be blind to his flaws. And if he was some kind of player or jerk, he wouldn’t make that known to his sister.
This was probably going to be a disaster.
***
I entered the restaurant and tried not to play with my hair. He probably already spotted me by the door and I didn’t want to look unsure. Confidence was always attractive, not shyness.
People were chatting quietly at their tables and drinking from their glass flutes. Waiters passed by with trays laden with delicious food. I stepped past the hostess podium and searched the tables. When my eye fell on a young man sitting alone and staring at me, I knew he was the one.
He stared at me like he knew exactly who I was. He wore a collared shirt with a dark tie and slacks. He had short brown hair that wasn’t long enough to run my fingers through. He slowly rose from the chair and gave me an inviting smile.
He was cute.
Shelly didn’t show me a picture of him because she didn’t have any on her phone and he didn’t have a social media account. I had to admit, I was surprised. He was handsome in a classic way. He was tall and built like he hit the gym a few times a week. Of course, he was nothing compared to Ash. He didn’t have that cocky smile that made me weak at the knees. His body didn’t flex with power and strength. He didn’t have that twinkle in his eyes. But he was still a catch.
I approached the table and tried to retain my composure. “Brad?”
“Yes. You must be Alessandra.” He shook my hand as he kept smiling. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
“You too.” I held my clutch in front of my waist because I didn’t know what else to do. I was always nervous with these sorts of things. I hoped I was hiding it.
Brad pulled out the chair for me before he sat across the table. There were already two glasses of wine. “I hope you like red.”
“I like anything with alcohol.” I blurted that out without thinking. It probably made me look trashy so it was a stupid thing to say.
Thankfully, he smiled. “We already have something in common.” He clanked his glass against mine before he took a drink.
“I guess we do.” I sipped mine and felt how smooth it was. “Good choice. What is it?”
“1973 Merlot.”
“Good taste.” I liked wine but I didn’t know much about it.
He held his menu on the table but didn’t eye it. His eyes were directed at me.
I averted my gaze because I felt uncomfortable being on display.
“Shelly told me how pretty you were. I guess I’m surprised she was right for once.”
“Oh…” I blushed at the compliment. “Well, thank you. You’re very handsome too.”
“Thanks.” He turned his eyes to his menu. “I know what I’m getting. How about you?”
There was too much to choose from. “I’d order everything on the menu if I could afford it.”
He chuckled. “I have a feeling you’d waste a lot of food.”
When I decided, I set the menu down and the waiter took our order. Then he left, leaving us with nothing to do but stare at each other. I immediately missed Ash. With him, it was so natural. We could just sit together and not say anything at all. It was never uncomfortable. He could stare at me forever and it didn’t unnerve me.
“So, Shelly says you’re an escort just like she is?” There was only curiosity in his voice, not judgment.
“Yes. I like it.”
He nodded. “That’s good. Shelly says the same thing.”
“I feel like I really help people. Some more than others.”
“I’m sure you do.” He moved his hands from the table to his lap.
“So, what kind of law do you practice?”
“Criminal. I’m a prosecutor.”
“Wow…that sounds stressful.”
“It can be,” he said. “But I really enjoy it. At first, whenever I lost a case I felt discouraged but once I finally understood I couldn’t win them all, I finally relaxed. Now I just do my best without overthinking it.”
“That’s really cool. Do you have people coming after you all the time?”
He chuckled. “Not really. But nothing scares me anyway.” He sipped his drink. “So, Shelly told me you’ve been single for a while.”
“Yeah…about six months.” It didn’t seem that way because Ash filled all my extra time. But he was just a meaningless fling so it didn’t count…as much as I wanted it to. “I was with my last boyfriend for a year before it ended.”
“May I ask why?”
I didn’t want to talk about it, but I should probably get it over with so he didn’t waste his time. “I stripped for a while because I needed the money. When he found out, he left.”
“Oh…” He nodded but didn’t seem disappointed. “What did you need the money for?”
“Hospital bills. My appendix burst.”
“Damn, that’s terrible. I’m sorry.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is. It’s my fault for not having health insurance.”
“I’m sure the surgery wasn’t cheap.”
“It wasn’t. And I waited so long before I got there that I had other damage.”
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Me too.” I sipped my wine just so I had something to do with my hands. “So, does it bother you?”
“What?” he asked. “That you don’t have an appendix?”
I laughed. “No. That I was a stripper.”
“Oh.” He shook his head. “No. You did what you had to do. I guess I can understand why he would be upset. If you guys were serious, he probably wanted you to talk to him about it. But it’s a little harsh that he just walked away.”
That was the reaction I was hoping for. “The break up was hard for a while but I eventually got over it. How about you? Shelly said you had a break up around the same time.”
“Yeah…” He released a deep sigh like it was still painful for him. “I was with her for about two years when she just walked away. She said she needed time to see the world and travel…some shit like that.” He was clearly still bitter about it. “A week before I was going to propose to her, she ditched me.”
“Oh…I’m sorry.” That was heartbreaking.
“Thank you,” he said. “It’s been six months and everyone in my life has pressured me to move on. So, here I am.”
“I’m in the same boat.” I gave him a small smile.
“Honestly, I was really nervous before this date. I haven’t gone out in a really long time. I’m a bit rusty.”
“It’s okay. I am too.”
“You seem really nice, and obviously you’re beautiful. I owe my sister a nice Christmas gift this year.”
I chuckled. “I put up with her all the time so she owes me, like, twenty Christmas gifts.”
He laughed. “She’s a cheap brat so don’t send her your wish list.”
I smiled before I took a drink.
He did the same. “So, tell me about yourself.”
I told him a little about my life and how I ended up where I was. He made eye contact with me the entire time so he seemed interested. When the food arrived, he ate but continued to watch me.
“So…I’m not that interesting,” I said with a laugh.
“I’m not either. If you were hoping I was in a bike gang and I parachute out of airplanes, you’re going to be disappointed.�
�
“That would be a little risky for me, honestly.”
He flexed his bicep and winked. “You wouldn’t think I was daring or brave?”
“Of course I would. But I wouldn’t want to be married to you. I’d be afraid you wouldn’t come home.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I risk my life enough as a prosecutor.”
“At least that’s for a good reason. Jumping out of a plane makes you sound like an adrenaline junkie.”
“I guess.”
We spent the rest of the evening making small talk. He was nice enough, and had interesting things to say. We didn’t exactly click but we got along well enough. And he was cute. I’d definitely had much worse dates than that.
After he paid for dinner, we left the restaurant and stood on the sidewalk.
“Thanks for going out with me tonight,” he said politely. “I hope I didn’t scare you too much with my baggage and slightly crazy job.”
“No,” I said with a laugh. “I have the same baggage and an even more unusual job.”
“True,” he said in agreement. “Well, I’d love to take you out again…if you’re willing.”
It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but most romances weren’t. “Yes, I’d like that.”
“Great.” He seemed relieved like I might say no.
I was surprised he didn’t offer to walk me home, but perhaps he wasn’t ready for the possibility of me letting him inside. Maybe he wanted to take this as slow as I did. That was perfect for me.
“How about Saturday?” he asked.
“I’m free.”
“Cool,” he said. “Dinner? I won’t take you parachuting if that’s what you’re worried about.”
If nothing else, he was funny. “Dinner sounds great.”
“Alright. I’ll see you then.”
***
The doorknob to my apartment jiggled then something heavy smacked against it. “Ouch.” Ash’s voice came through the door. “Why the hell is the door locked?”
I was cooking on the stove when I heard him. I purposely locked the door because I thought this might happen. The dynamic of our relationship had changed, and he couldn’t come and go freely whenever he wanted. I could have Brad over soon. “Hold on.”