by E. L. Todd
But now that was over.
I was at home when my phone rang. On the screen was Ash’s name. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, and the last time we were together it was awkward and strained. I didn’t think we would talk again.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey.” He didn’t answer with his typical “Yo.”
It was nice to hear his voice. All my anger disappeared the second I heard it. I sat on the couch with the phone pressed close to my ear. “How are you?”
“Fine. You?”
“I’m okay.”
“So…I’m having dinner with my parents tonight. Do you think you could come?”
I hadn’t heard from him in a while so I wasn’t sure if I was still escorting him. “Yeah, I’m free tonight.”
“Great.” It didn’t sound like he cared that much. “We’re going to a steakhouse. Can I pick you up at six?”
“Sure.”
“See you then.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
I heard the phone go dead in my ear. After a few seconds of listening, I put it down.
***
Ash looked me up and down when I opened the door but he didn’t give me a compliment like usual. “Ready to go?”
Disappointment washed through me. “Yeah.”
He walked out with his hands in his pockets. He wore his typical jeans and t-shirt. He never dressed up anytime we went to dinner even though it irritated his parents. He stared down the hallway like he was bored.
I locked the door behind me and we left. Instead of talking, we just walked in silence. Normally, Ash wouldn’t shut up. He rambled on and on about work or a new tattoo he designed. But now he was ice-cold. Hostility radiated from him so I didn’t bother making small talk. I had a feeling he wouldn’t respond at all.
We arrived at the restaurant and joined his parents at the table. They were thrilled to see me, like always. Despite Ash’s sour mood, it didn’t ruin the dinner. In fact, it didn’t seem like they even noticed. Perhaps he was always moody. I’d never noticed it myself but perhaps I was finally seeing a new side of him.
Ash put his arm over my chair but that was all the affection he gave me. He didn’t lean in and share quiet secrets with me. His touch didn’t feel warm like it usually did. I felt like I was escorting a client, someone I hardly knew and would never know. It didn’t seem like I’d known Ash for three months, intimately and romantically.
“Ash,” his mother said. “We’ve been thinking…”
Ash continued to look bored.
“We really think you’ve made a turnaround,” his father said. “Especially with this lovely young woman. We know you wanted to go back to school and that must be expensive…”
His mom pulled a check out of her wallet and placed it on the table in front of him.
Wow, they finally returned his money.
Ash stared at it blankly.
Did he not understand what it was?
He slowly grabbed the check and examined it. “Thank you.” Then he put it in his wallet. He didn’t jump on the table and dance around. It didn’t seem like he gave a damn at all. He sipped his wine then looked across the restaurant.
Both of his parents looked confused.
His mom spoke first. “Everything okay, honey?”
“I’m peachy, Mom.” Ash didn’t look at her as he said it.
His father leaned toward her. “Maybe they got in a fight on the way here…”
“Maybe,” she whispered.
Ash’s arm felt cold against my back. He’d wanted that money for a long time but it didn’t seem like he cared at all. It was like they gave him a check for fifty cents. When the check arrived, Ash immediately snatched it. “Since you just made a big payment…” He tossed the cash inside and immediately stood up. “Well, it was nice seeing you.”
What the hell? Now he was polite?
“Alessandra and I are leaving. Good night.” He hugged his parents quickly then allowed me to say goodbye.
I realized this was the last time I’d ever see his parents. Ash got his money back and now he would drop his ruse. He would come clean and admit he hired me after he cashed his check.
The thought made me sad.
“You’ve always been so kind to me,” I said to his mother. “I really appreciate it.” She was warmer than my own mom.
“Of course, dear,” she said as she hugged me. “We love you.”
My eyes softened before I hugged his dad. “Thanks for everything. I always feel welcome with you.”
“And you always will,” he said with a fond look.
Ash grabbed my hand and gently pulled me away. “Until next time.” He kept his hold as he walked down the sidewalk and passed two blocks. When we reached my apartment building, he immediately dropped the hold and put his hands in his pockets.
The air around us was so heavy it was suffocating.
“You got your money back. Congratulations.”
“Yeah…about time.”
“I’m surprised you aren’t more excited.”
“It’s just money,” he said quietly.
What was his problem? He acted like I did something terrible to him. What was he so upset about? I wanted to kick him because his act was getting old. I was surprised he even walked me to my door since he was so sour.
I didn’t unlock the door. Instead, I faced him. “So…this is it?” He didn’t need me to play a part anymore. He officially no longer needed me.
“Yep. I guess so.” His voice was colder than a freezer. “Thanks for all your help. You’re off the hook.”
“I’ll miss your parents…they were really nice.”
“I’m sure you’ll forget about them soon enough.” The look in his eyes was frightening. He stared at me like he wanted to murder me with an ax.
“What the hell is your problem?” I didn’t mean to explode but he pulled my trigger. “You’ve been such a dick to me lately. What the fuck did I do to you?”
“Nothing.” He got in my face like he wanted to push me. “You didn’t do a damn thing.” Then he stepped back, that same look of menace plastered on his face.
“We were fine one moment and then you flipped out on me.”
“Flipped?” he snapped. “No, you’re the one who flipped. Maybe you are just a whore like Tony claims.”
Too far. I slapped him hard across the face.
He turned with the hit but he didn’t react. It didn’t seem like it hurt.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped. “Is this all because of Brad? That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Yeah, I guess it doesn’t,” he said bitterly. “Have fun with your new boyfriend.”
“New?” I asked. “I never had one before.”
“Yeah, that’s right. I didn’t mean anything, right?”
“Wait, what?”
“You could have at least given me the decency of some notice,” he snapped. “You just went out with him and didn’t even tell me about it.”
“I did tell you—”
“After the date already happened,” he hissed. “You couldn’t give me that courtesy? You respect me so little?”
“That’s what you’re so upset about?” I asked incredulously. “Because I didn’t give you two weeks notice? You really are a piece of work, you know that? You want everyone to want you until you walk away. But you can’t stand someone else walking away first. It hurts that big ego of yours too much.”
“Fuck you.”
I pushed him. “Goodbye, Ash. Don’t call me.”
“Consider it done.” He turned on his heel and marched down the hallway.
I got my door unlocked then entered my apartment. I tossed my keys and purse on the table then gripped the chair for support. I wasn’t even sure what just happened.
Inexplicably, tears came into my eyes and they burned as they emerged. Was I crying because of our fight? Was I crying because Ash just walked out of my life forever? Or was it because of the mean things he said to me?
<
br /> I covered my face with my palms and willed myself to stop. Crying over someone who didn’t care about me was stupid. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him, and not for as long as I did. The relationship dragged on until my heart got caught on the line. It was the dumbest decision I ever made and I would regret it forever.
The door opened behind me then slammed shut.
I flinched at the sound and lowered my hand. I immediately stopped crying but the tears were still in my eyes. Before I could turn around, I was snatched.
Ash shoved everything off my table then threw me on top of it. He yanked my legs around his waist then he dug one hand into my hair as he aggressively took my lips with his. The second his lips touched mine, my thighs squeezed his waist.
Ash kissed me hard, like he was trying to hurt me with his lips. He sucked and kissed, and then his tongue darted into my mouth and found mine. He breathed hard and grabbed my tits with one hand.
I had no idea what was going on but I didn’t stop it. We clearly both wanted it, and I missed him so much that I didn’t care about anything except having him. My feelings were deeper than I realized, and I knew I was attached to him in a way I promised I wouldn’t be.
He yanked my dress off without being delicate. It stretched as it moved past my shoulders and my hips. He flung it across the kitchen and it landed on the tile just in front of the sink. Then he removed my bra and panties. My heels were still on and he didn’t move for those.
He pulled his clothes off with lightning speed, like they were on fire and would burn his skin in just a moment if he didn’t do something soon. His long cock appeared once his boxers were gone, and he dragged my hips to the edge of the table, where I ate breakfast every morning, and then shoved himself inside me.
“Oh god…” My head rolled back when I felt him, and my nails immediately dug into his forearms as I held on. The extensive stretching was somewhat painful but felt so damn good. He filled me to my max, and that feeling of fullness was worth everything.
Ash moved his hands under my thighs then pushed them back as my ass hung over the edge. He thrust into me hard, shaking the table with every movement he made. He watched my tits shake, and he gripped my legs forcefully as he moved his hips.
The sex was even better than it was before, and I wondered if I’d fallen asleep on the couch and now I was dreaming the whole thing. All the anger and aggression inside of both of us was spilling over and we needed to release it somehow. And this was the perfect way.
My hands moved to his hips and I pulled myself toward him as he thrust into me. We moved in sync, trying to take as much as possible. I panted as sweat formed on my neck and chest. He continued to stretch me because my body could never acclimate to him, but it felt so good.
Ash released a moan deep from the back of his throat, and it came out more as a growl than anything else. Then he grabbed one leg and pulled it against his chest before he yanked me closer to him and leaned far over me. He felt even fuller at this angle.
“Ash…” My head rolled back because I loved how amazing he felt.
His eyes were glued to mine as my heel rested on his shoulder. The sex-crazed look in his eyes was sexy and terrifying at the same time.
I dug my fingers into his hair and kissed him as he continued to fuck me hard on the table. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he broke it with the way he was treating it. I brought his lips to mine and kissed him as he pounded into me, balls deep inside me. I knew I was on the verge of a powerful orgasm. It’d been forever since my last one, and my body prepared for the imminent release. “Fuck me harder.”
Ash increased the speed to a frightening pace and rammed into me like my pussy was a sex toy that could be broken and replaced. He released another moan as more moisture pooled between my legs. “Such a tight pussy…”
His words set me off and I came, feeling his shaft grow more pronounced as I constricted around him. I hadn’t come in so long and he gave me exactly what I needed. “Yes…” My hand gripped his ass and I dug my nails deep inside.
“Fuck…” He released a growl before he tensed slightly and released. He kept thrusting into me as he came, making my pleasure last as long as possible as he filled me with his seed.
I could feel his warmth inside me, and I could even feel the weight of his seed. It was sexy in a way I couldn’t explain. Knowing I was packed with his essence was a turn on in itself.
Ash remained inside me as he scooped me into his arms then carried me into my bedroom. He lay me down while remaining on top of me, and then he turned on his side and pulled me close to his chest, still semi-hard inside me.
The sex was amazing, and even a little violent, but this was even better. I hadn’t slept with him in nearly a month. Feeling his powerful chest against mine was exactly what I wanted—needed.
This was a mistake, and I knew it was a mistake. How could I move on and date other men when I was still stuck in this situation with Ash. I couldn’t keep sleeping with him. How was that fair to Brad? How was that fair to anyone?
But I was weak and had a slip up. Like someone on a diet that eats a brownie when they know they shouldn’t, I caved and took something I desperately missed. Ash was a drug to me, and it was hard to quit cold turkey. The second he was inside me, I couldn’t push him away. I needed him so much. I would never have the strength to fight him—not when I loved it so much.
***
When I woke up the following morning, he was still there.
His eyes were open and he stared at me. His gaze was unreadable, and I had no idea what he was thinking. His arm was still around my waist, exactly where he left it the night before.
I wanted to say something, to apologize for last night since I didn’t stop it. But words failed me. I couldn’t even open my mouth to speak. Under his gaze, I was totally helpless.
Ash moved on top of me and pressed his mouth to mine. His movement was quick and unexpected, and he kissed me slowly. Neither one of us had brushed our teeth the night before or that morning but it didn’t seem to matter. He separated my legs with his then inserted himself inside me.
I needed to stop this from happening. I needed to grip his hips and steady them. But like last night, I was helpless all over again. Every inch of him felt so amazing and I didn’t want to stop. Instead of pushing him away, I gripped him and pulled him further into me.
“I miss you.” Ash spoke into my mouth as he kissed me.
“I miss you too.” Emotion caught in my throat as I spoke. I didn’t realize how attached I was to him. Hearing those words made me ache. All I wanted was this—all the time. I wanted to wake up to him every morning. I wanted to have brunch on Sunday. I wanted this—forever.
Ash didn’t fuck me like he did last time. He moved into me gently, taking it slow and feeling every inch of me as he moved in and out. He sucked my bottom lip gently before he gave me his tongue. He held me as close to him as possible, brushing his lips past mine in a teasing way before he kissed me.
I clung to him because I never wanted to let him go. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I used his body as an anchor to rock back into him. We moved together slowly but with just as much passion as the night before.
Ash moved his lips to my neck and kissed me softly. Then he sprinkled kisses along my jawline, igniting me in a blaze that sent me over the edge. I never had to fake it with Ash because he knew exactly how to make me come—hard.
He moved his face to mine and looked into my eyes. “Beautiful.” It was a simple word but he said it in such a way that it was somehow meaningful. The emotion in his throat made it sound like he said something entirely different. He tensed inside me then released, moaning the entire time as he filled me. Instead of pulling away, he continued to grip me. He kissed me slowly, feeling my lips with his. Within minutes, he was hard again. Then he started to move and we picked up where we left off.
***
We didn’t speak for the entire weekend. We just stayed in bed, eating only when necessa
ry. Ash would lie beside me and look into my eyes like he never wanted to stop. His hand would brush a loose strand of hair from my face in such a way that my heart melted into a million pieces.
On Sunday night, I knew the fairytale was over.
I had a date.
I sighed and left the bed. “You should go. I need to get ready.”
“For what?” His voice sounded raspy because we hadn’t spoken in so long.
I cringed because I didn’t want to say it. “I’m seeing Brad.” Guilt flushed through me. Was I really the kind of girl that went on a date right after I slept with someone? It grossed me out.
Ash’s eyes immediately darkened and he looked pissed. A fire erupted in his eyes, but the flames were black. “So, you’re just going to run off and have dinner with this chump?”
I didn’t want to fight so I kept my mouth shut.
He gripped me by the wrist and yanked me back into bed. “Call it off.”
“Call it off?” I asked incredulously. “I’m supposed to meet him in a little over an hour.”
“Tell him you’re sick.” He squeezed my wrist.
“I’m not bailing on him.”
“Just do it,” he ordered.
“And why should I?” I grew heated, all the anger coming back. “Give me one good reason, Ash.”
He held my gaze without blinking. “Me.”
“You?” I couldn’t keep the venom out of my voice. “What about you? I should ditch a nice guy so I can keep being your fuck buddy? What’s the point in that?”
“It’s pretty damn clear you’d rather be with me instead of him.”
His cockiness was usually endearing but now it was just irritating. “You’re such an ass.” I yanked my arm out of his grasp.
He grabbed me again. “Why go to him when you have me? I make you happy. I give you what you need. It doesn’t make any sense to go out with him. You really want some lame lawyer?”
“He’s a very nice guy.”
“Like you want a nice guy,” he barked. “You want me. Why else would you have slept with me for two days?”
I didn’t answer his question. “I’m not going to keep doing this, Ash. I need something more than a fuck buddy. I’m looking for a relationship, a long lasting one. This was fun while it lasted but it’s over. Let’s just walk away and move on.”