My Almost

by Kelsey Cheyenne

  Because I assumed you just got here, and I was coming inside with you but I was wrong. “So I can hear you better. The rain is loud.” I’m a fucking idiot.

  “We got what we needed. I’m parked over there,” he gestures to his car two rows behind mine, “so just follow me.” I nod and whisper “Okay.”

  He jogs over to his Hyundai and I restart my Saturn, waiting for him to pull out. He lives with Reese now, meaning this will be one hell of an interesting night.

  At least when we had sex before I didn’t know any of the people who would bear witness to us. This is a different story; knowing the person who will hear us going at it like rabbits, because let’s be realistic here, when it involves Aiden and I, that’s what will happen. It’s bound to be awkward at best.

  I have to speed to keep up with him as he flies down side streets and back roads to get to his place. There’s a good chance I’ll never remember where he lives. I’m hopeless like that.

  I pull up next to his car but notice signs all around that scream at me, telling me it’s parking for renters. “Where should I park?” There isn’t much street parking and if he thinks I’m about to parallel park he’s out of his damn mind.

  “Just park beside the tree up there. That should be fine.” I do as he says and rush to hop out of my car and into his new apartment.

  The space is nice. Everything here is an open concept with dark hardwood floors. It’s much more spacious than his last place and it’s more modern. It’s not as much of a bachelor pad either, but that could be because they haven’t had time to ‘decorate’ yet, if you can call posters of half-naked women decorations.

  “Want a drink?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer and instead opens a wine cooler and hands it to me. I sip it and sit on the brown leather couch which is new. Or it could be Reese’s couch. I already miss the gray sofa we christened in his old place.

  “I’m gonna go for a smoke quick, do you mind?” Why couldn’t he have smoked on the drive over instead of waiting until now?

  “No, I don’t mind.” He and Reese go out on their patio which extends from the kitchen and light up. If it were weed I’d join them, but he quit smoking marijuana once he got promoted.

  I see them through the glass sliding door talking and laughing. I’m out of place as I sip my pink drink and pray for him to hurry up. Social media only distracts me for so long.

  The squeak of the door on its tracks alerts me to their presence. Reese greets me and I was right, it’s super weird being in this space with him. Yeah, he knows about us, but knowing about us and witnessing it firsthand are two very different things.

  “Ready to go to bed?” Aiden’s gaze on me is hungry and the lower half of my body wakes up under his gaze. I’m buzzed, and it has nothing to do from my drink which I abandon on the glass coffee table.

  I take his hand as he leads me on a mini tour through the space. “That’s Reese’s room.” Right across the hall. Perfect. “The door at the end of this hallway is the bathroom, and this is my room.”

  He opens the door and I take in the space. Now he doesn’t have to share a room with anybody which is nice. His bed sits in the middle of the room, still on the floor, and underneath a window. An ashtray rests on the windowsill but at least it doesn’t smell like smoke in here yet.

  Across from the bed is a big flat-screen TV which hangs on the wall. A closet door is open with his shirts hanging though some are bundled on the floor. The opposite wall houses a dresser and all his sneakers sit on the floor on that side as well.

  As I take in the space, he comes up behind me, kissing my neck and fondling first my ass before moving up toward my boobs. “I missed you.” He could be talking to either me or my tits, but at the very least I hope it’s both.

  “They missed you too.” He smiles against my neck before biting it. He spins me around and his hands travel back to my ass before squeezing.

  “I missed this too.” He kisses me and everything in my world is right again, normal. We’re two puzzle pieces and once we’re together everything else falls in sync. My world has color again. It has meaning.

  When I’m with him, I’m home, I’m happy. Nothing else in the world matters except for him and I. Without him I’m lost, I’m broken. Nothing makes sense and the world around me is a dull shade of gray. Right now I’m in the middle of the rainbow, watching as the color spreads the longer he kisses me.

  He pushes me back toward the bed and I comply. I told him I’d make it up to him no matter what it takes, and I meant it. There’s just the one problem. “I have my period.” Of all times for my period to return, it had to happen this week. Karma’s a bitch.

  He moves away from my mouth toward my neck and up to nibble on my ear. “Is it bad?” I shake my head, unable to respond without a moan threatening to spill out. “Do you have a tampon in?”

  Although his cock has been in me, I’m embarrassed by the question. Still, I nod in response. “Then take it out or I will.” Well, that was unexpected. I lean back, staring in his eyes and realizing how serious he is.

  Never in a million years would I have guessed him threatening to take my tampon out would be kinda hot, yet, here we are.

  I rush to the bathroom to do as I’m told and hurry back in record time. It’s so fucking worth it. We’re savages, ravaging one another like we’ve been starved.

  I don’t bother getting dressed because I’ll be woken up in the middle of the night, anyway, like I always am with him.

  When I pass out, the TV is still on, Aiden is beside me snoring, and this entire situation plasters a smile on my face.

  When I wake up in the morning—two more rounds of sex later—the room is bright and the sheets are piled around my waist. I stretch and roll over, my eyes closed in bliss as my muscles loosen. A hand finds my breast and I flinch. I’m not used to Aiden waking up before me.

  “Good morning, babe.” The roughness of his morning voice calling me babe mixed with my exposed torso gives me goosebumps. I shiver and allow a grin to spread across my face. He’s propped on his arm, checking me out, and warmth spreads through my veins.

  His eyes are alight with humor as he pinches my nipple and squeezes the plump mound. God, he loves my boobs. The lazy smile resting on his lips shows he’s comfortable lying naked next to me in bed and more so, he enjoys it. We’re two insatiable peas in the pod of his bed and I never want to leave. I don’t think he wants me to, either.

  I scramble up, wrapping both my arms around his neck and forcing him to collapse onto his back. He chuckles and kisses me with reckless abandon as if we’ll never kiss again.

  “Good morning,” I say as I pull away from him. I’m so grateful he’s giving me a second chance and now we’re once again on stable ground. “I have to get to school.”

  I get up but get pulled backwards. “Not so fast.” Aiden’s body covers mine and I’m no longer in a rush to get back to campus. I can afford to skip one day, right?

  When forty-five minutes have passed and my legs wobble like a newborn deer, I clamor out of bed and get dressed. My attempt to sneak out undetected fails and I find Reese sitting in the living room drinking coffee. He salutes me with his mug and my face burns. Aiden and I weren’t quiet last night or this morning for that matter. Hell, we’re never quiet. We should work on that.

  I text my on-again man as soon as I get back to campus, but he has class and work to worry about. Only three more days until my first shift back at Blackshire and I can work with Aiden again. When we’re back on the same schedule things will move so much more smoothly with us, I can feel it in my bones. I can’t wait for this weekend.

  Wednesdays always suck with my night class. It makes the day and the week drag on. By Thursday I’m antsy and ready to start my weekend. The downside is I still haven’t heard from my man. It’s disconcerting, but again, he’s busy.

  By Friday I get a message and it has my heart racing.

  Can you come over tonight? I need to talk to you.

  Well, he
didn’t say we need to talk, leading me to assume everything is fine. He likely wants to hash out the rules for my return to his store. After all, we’re still a secret to everything but Reese and now Nate, which I have yet to tell Aiden about. We’ve been dealing with some other, more important things anyway. And since Nate thinks we’re broken up it’s not a huge ordeal, right?

  I’m not shocked when I get lost driving to the new apartment, but when I get back on track and pull up at his place, he tells me to walk right in. I cross the threshold, but he meets me there, right at the front door. He smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. Alarm bells chime in my mind.

  The panic subsides as fast as it comes when he pulls me in for a crushing hug. He inhales, as if he’s smelling my hair and attempting to memorize the scent of my shampoo. I would do the same, but I don’t have to. The scent of him is already burned into my senses.

  He clutches my hand and leads me to his bedroom. I don’t see anyone else around, meaning his roommate is out or already hiding in his room. I don’t care either way anymore.

  Aiden closes his door behind me and grabs me, pulling me into him with an edge of roughness. He grips my face between his hands and stares into my eyes like he’s looking into the depths of my soul. Then he kisses me, the connection bruising against my lips.

  It’s always so intense with us. We bite and bruise, never getting enough—not close enough, not rough enough, simply never enough.

  Every time we have sex it’s always like the second time. Not the first time, when things are new and can be awkward and we don’t know each other’s bodies, not that.

  But the second time when we’ve had a taste and are desperate for more. When we’ve learned the basics of one another, the hot spots, what makes us tick. When we’re extra eager because we’re aware of how good it is. That’s how it always is with us.

  I’ll never tire of being with this man.

  It’s insane, knowing it’s been a short couple of months and yet he knows my body like the back of his hand, like it’s an extension of himself. We’re so in-tune, so in-sync with each other. One look from him, with his eyes twinkling with a devilish desire, and it drenches my panties because of what’s coming.

  Even now, his mouth trails away from my mine and down my neck, making way to the sensitive spot behind my ear. He bites my lobe and goosebumps erupt down my entire left side. I shiver and he smiles against my neck as his hand rubs at the pebbles on my arm.

  He tugs at my t-shirt, lifting it over my head and tossing it to the floor. His left hand finds my right hip and rests there, holding me in place while his other hand is quick, reaching behind my back to flick open the clasp of my bra, freeing my breasts.

  His hands find home there, fondling his favorite part of my body. “God, I love your tits.” His voice is extra rough, straining against his vocal cords like I imagine his cock is straining against his pants.

  The caressing of my breasts stops long enough for him to undo my jeans and push them over my hips. I take over, stepping out of them and kicking them aside. The moment I’m naked he pushes me back toward his bed.

  I perch on my knees, balancing on the edge of his mattress. Aiden stands over me and pulls his t-shirt over his head. My pulse thrums with a wild desperation as I watch his body flex with the motion. He’s such a gorgeous man.

  I’m sitting eye-level with his crotch and he shoves his jeans and briefs down low enough for his erection to spring free. My mouth waters as I stare in a very unladylike manner at his perfect cock.

  “I want to fuck your mouth.” He smirks and I’m dripping. My face lights up in anticipation.

  I love blowing him. I’ve never been a blowjob kind of girl, I mean, what girl is? But with him it’s different. I’m the one in control and he’s the one losing it. That rush of power, making this man lose control, being his undoing, it’s heady and hot as hell. With him, I love giving blowjobs. It excites me as much as him eating me.

  I lick my lips and take his shaft in my hand. It’s rock hard, the tip already dripping. It’s deep red and swollen. His face looks as ready to combust as his dick from my light touch alone.

  I guide him into my mouth, teasing the tip with my thumb first and lapping up the drop of pre-cum pooled there and we moan in tandem.

  I pull him in further, as far as I can go, and he hisses and tangles his hand in my hair. Still, he never forces me or pushes me down, letting me move at my own pace. His control, though, is as flimsy as one single strand of the hair he’s gripping so tightly.

  His words were dirty but his actions are loving. His thrusts are gentle and slow, enjoying the ride. I cup his balls as my mouth works him over and he can’t take it anymore.

  “Fuck.” His groan is erotic, arousing; it almost makes me come. He steps back and his cock is wet as it falls from my mouth. I wipe my chin and smirk up at him.

  He joins me on the bed, crawling over me, like he’s a predator and I’m his prey. Lucky me.

  Aiden returns the favor, feasting on me until every nerve in my body writhes in ecstasy. When he lines us up, he slams into me. As he pounds into me, the shock waves never falter. Instead they build into continuous orgasms, damn-near killing me.

  I’m so broken over this man and yet he has all the right remedies to put me back together. He’s my destroyer and my savior. My villain and my hero.

  He fucks me hard, anchoring himself on my breasts, bruising them, but it never hurts. His head falls back and his face contorts, twisting as if he’s the one in pain.

  He pounds into me with reckless abandon, the tempo increasing as he chases his release. My nails dig into his back, likely leaving scratch-marks. I’m screaming in pleasure, calling out his name loud enough I’m sure his new neighbors are now acquainted with him. If they didn’t know his name before, they do now.

  He pulls out of me, spilling his load onto my stomach. My sign of contentment gets lost with his guttural groan. It’s a painful sound where mine is lighter. We’re two sides of a coin, always opposites yet complementing each other so well.

  He gets up, retrieving a t-shirt to clean up the mess and hands it to me. Instead of crawling back into bed to cuddle like we always do, he pulls on a pair of shorts and sits back down on the edge of his mattress, facing away from me.

  My heart rate, which had calmed down after my slew of orgasms, spikes once more. A pit forms in my stomach. I could not be in a more vulnerable state. I’m sitting beside him naked after he fucked all sense and reason out of me. Now, the alarm bells return, and panic engulfs me.

  “Chels.” No. No, no, no. Not that tone. I know that tone. It’s the same voice he used to tell me he wasn’t come to my graduation party. Or my birthday party. And every other time he’s let me down.

  It’s the tone he seems to reserve only for hurting and disappointing me.

  He says my name on a sigh, a sad exhale forced out between his lips. He’s tense despite the fact he got off moments ago.

  My throat closes up. I cover myself, pulling the sheet over my breasts. His eyes flash to the motion as I cover up his favorite asset of mine.

  He pinches his eyes shut, unable to meet my stare. I want to ask him what’s wrong, what happened, but I can’t talk. My voice is already lost, and he has yet to say the words that will break me.

  As he opens his eyes, he drags his gaze across my body, never resting on my eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  For the briefest of moments, I’m pissed. Blood thrums in my ears and my hands, still gripping the bedsheet, curl into fists.

  How dare he? The cum hasn’t even dried on my stomach yet. I’m still naked in his bed and he has the audacity to break up with me like this? What an ass.

  Wait. He’s dumping me.

  My fists uncurl as all the resolve leaves my body. The tears build as I croak out, “Why?” I should’ve kept my mouth shut. That single word released a torrent of emotions within me. The tears fall in a rapid stream down my face and I’m not even embarrassed. Let him see what
he’s doing to me.

  He reaches for me, but I jerk away. He has no right to touch me anymore. With a sigh full of remorse, he fiddles with his glasses. In the midst of my unravel I didn’t notice him put his glasses back on or a t-shirt. He’s fully fucking dressed and I’m still naked, in shock, crying into his bedsheet.

  I throw the sheet off me, jumping up to get dressed. My bra gets clasped on the wrong hook but I don’t even care. Screw him. I go to grab the doorknob to leave, but his somber voice stops me.

  “Just let me explain.” I risk a glimpse over my shoulder through puffy eyes. He’s still sitting, watching me. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction, but if I don’t hear him out now I’ll always wonder what went wrong.

  I walk back to him, but sit on the far opposite corner of the bed. He has no sense of personal space, however, because he gets up, rounds the bed, and settles back on the same side as me. We’re still on different corners, but closer. I flinch away, making myself smaller.

  “It has nothing to do with you,” he starts. Ah, the classic, it’s not you, it’s me. How original. “I’m just not ready for something so serious. I can’t handle a long-term relationship right now or think about marriage or kids when we’re both so busy and you’re so young. You don’t deserve that. You deserve someone better than me.”

  Not once did he ask what I want. I don’t want marriage and kids, not now.

  I gave him an out months ago for this exact reason. I asked point-fucking-blank if he wanted to be single for his last year of college. He’s the one who fought for us then. ‘No, I want to be with you.’ Fucking liar.

  He couldn’t end things without bringing up my age yet again. I’m so young? He didn’t seem to ever care about my age when he fucked me, and he’s been enjoying my pussy for months now. We’re not even four years apart in age. Big fucking whoop. It’s not like he’s my dad’s age.

  As for me deserving someone better? My head says, you’re damn right, I do, but my stupid, broken heart cries, there is no one better.

  My head rests in my hands as I sob on the edge of this bed. The bed holding so many good memories. The bed where I had my first orgasm. Where I found love.