Will the Real Abi Sanders Please Stand Up?

by Sara Hantz

“Do you know that for sure, or are you just assuming? Have you talked about it?”

  “Not really,” he says, a guilty expression crossing his face.

  Yeah, right, they haven’t mentioned me at all. If he expects me to believe that then he’s lost it. I bet she said something really hateful, and he doesn’t want to tell me in case I go off at him.

  “The truth, Matt.” I give him my best intimidating glare, but all it does is make him roll his eyes. Okay, maybe I’m not cut out for acting, and maybe I’m overreacting a little.

  “She’s still upset,” he says gently. “Give her time. I haven’t seen her since the party either. She’s been spending so much time with Rich.”

  “Liv got together with Rich? Did it happen at the party? Why didn’t you tell me?” I lock eyes with Matt, and he shuffles his feet. His cheeks have a faint pink tinge, and he looks decidedly awkward. “Well?” I demand.

  “She asked me not to,” Matt mutters.

  “She what?” I can’t believe she’d do that. So much for me overreacting. What about her? “Fine. Well, I won’t tell her what happened with Jon, then.”

  “Jon, as in the guy who goes out with Tilly?” He frowns.

  Darn. Now he’s going to give me the twenty questions and no doubt tell me Jon’s too old for me, or he’s already with someone, or whatever sensible thing he’ll think of. Matt’s nothing if not sensible. Not that it’s bothered me before, but, as I keep saying, things aren’t like they were before.

  “Yes.”

  “What about him? You’re not…”

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “Not yet, but we had a great time together at the club. I planned to explain all this to Liv, because that’s part of why I missed her party. But no point now, is there?”

  “And you figure he’ll go out with you rather than Tilly? You’re kidding, right?”

  “You don’t understand. Tilly doesn’t want him. It’s just a game to her. You should only know half of what she’s done to him.”

  The strangest expression crosses Matt’s face, but I can’t work out what it means.

  “And he puts up with it?”

  “I’m not sure how much he knows. I wanted to say something, but Vince said not to.”

  “Well, at least someone is thinking straight.”

  “Meaning?” I frown.

  “Vince. And you need to start, too. You should be staying out of this sort of thing. You know what these celebs are like.”

  “Actually, I do, and I don’t think I should stay out of it, as you say. The only reason Jon stays with Tilly is because he feels sorry for her. He says underneath it all she’s really insecure.”

  “She doesn’t sound like it to me.”

  “That’s because she’s a good actor.”

  “Anyway, isn’t Tilly your all-time hero, in which case how can you even think about taking away her boyfriend?”

  “It’s not like that. You don’t understand. All you want to do is ruin everything for me.” My voice gets louder by the syllable.

  Why doesn’t he understand?

  Why doesn’t anyone understand?

  …

  “Abi, we’re going to Rosie’s Bar, you coming?” Vince asks.

  I’d planned on going around to Liv’s house to see if I can persuade her to talk to me, but what’s the point? She knows I’m sorry. I’ve left enough texts and messages for her, which she hasn’t answered. And since going home isn’t exactly an exciting prospect, I might as well hang out with people who like me.

  “Sure, I’ll meet you there in fifteen. It won’t take me long to clean up.”

  Listen to me. It wasn’t that long ago when I’d have gone through all sorts of mental torture at the thought of going out with a group of people. Especially to a bar. Not that I’d have gone into a bar in the past, seeing as we’re not old enough. Now, I’m okay with it. Sort of.

  Fifteen minutes somehow turns into thirty, and as I make my way to Rosie’s, I end up getting caught in a rain shower.

  I head for the bathroom when I get there. While I’m patting myself down with a paper towel, the door swings open and in staggers Tilly, her complexion a delicate shade of green and her eyes all glazed.

  “Tilly, you look awful. Are you okay?” I rush over to her. I’m probably asking for a verbal smackdown, but I can’t help it. I can’t just leave her when she looks like a tabloid horror story waiting to happen.

  “Shhhhhutup. Thersh nothing wrong with me.” She stumbles, and I manage to catch her under the arms before she hits the floor.

  “Come and sit down,” I say, leading her toward the black leather sofa.

  “Get off me.” She pulls away and starts to wobble, so I grab hold of her arm again. “I feel sick,” she moans.

  This is so weird, me taking care of Tilly.

  “Okay, let’s go into a stall.” I kick open the stall door, and we both squeeze in.

  She leans forward, and I just manage to pull her hair out of the way in time before she vomits into the toilet.

  The smell is so disgusting that I think I might join her. And let’s not even think about the bit that’s splattered over my shoes.

  We stay in this position for what seems like forever. Luckily, no one comes into the bathroom.

  Finally, when she’s all vomited out, Tilly stands. I take her by the arm and sit her down on the sofa. I get some wet paper towels and gently mop her face. She still doesn’t look too good. I hope she’s not gonna throw up again.

  “How do you feel?” Hopefully better than she looks, though at least her face has gone from green to white. Her hair needs brushing. It’s all over the place.

  “I’m fine,” Tilly mumbles. “You can leave me now.”

  I don’t think I should. She might fall, bang her head, and knock herself out. Or worse. She could hit her head on the sink and then die. I can’t leave her yet. Definitely not. “It’s okay. I’ll hang around for a while until you’re feeling a bit better.” I sit next to her and take one of the paper towels and wipe the mess off my shoes. At least it didn’t stain, since these are my favorite.

  “Whatever.” Tilly shrugs.

  “I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “I don’t think that would make a difference, the sort of reputation I have.” She gives a wry smile.

  “Why do it then?” The question the media would pay mega-bucks for an answer to, no doubt.

  “No reason. Apart from I can. All my life I’ve been able to do what I want. And then my management complains about me screwing-up my image. Well, they can’t have it both ways. They can’t give me the liquor and pills and then moan at what happens to me. I tell them it’s to escape from the pressure of being a big star. Although, even that’s debatable, if you read the press; they’re calling me a ‘has-been.’ At my age. What a joke. A lonely has-been with no friends.”

  “You must have some friends?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I do. Except I never know if they’re with me for the fame or because they really like me. I can’t trust any of them. They’d all let me down given half the chance and the offer of some money from the press.”

  Like I let down Liv.

  It suddenly occurs to me I’m no better than all these so called friends of Tilly’s. All the time I’ve been thinking of myself. What I want, and how Liv and Matt didn’t understand. Maybe I should’ve thought more about how my actions affected them.

  “Well, you can trust Jon. He’s on your side.”

  “Jon’s on no one’s side but his own.” Her lip curls up in a sneer.

  “But he’s always looking out for you?”

  “If you say so.”

  “Is that why you cheat on him?” I have to ask, and hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way.

  “Maybe.” She shrugs.

  “Well, at least you have your mom,” I say, instantly regretting my words after remembering what I witnessed down by the river.

  “You think?” Tears form in her eyes.


  “I’m so sorry.” I rest my hand on top of hers. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I forget not all moms are like mine. My mom wants to meet you, by the way. She always says there’s not much that her special chocolate muffins can’t fix.”

  Tilly gives a hollow laugh. “Why would I want to hang out with you and your boring family? I’m not that desperate. I’m going back. I’m fed up sitting here.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Zac doesn’t need me for the rest of the morning, so I’m doing some training to start getting back in shape. At the moment, I’m running around the lot. With shooting almost over, hopefully no one will mind. It’s not like I’m going to be fighting and could injure myself, I’m just doing a workout. If I want any chance of doing well at Nationals after filming ends, then I need to improve my level of fitness.

  Running past wardrobe, I accidentally knock into someone. “Sorry,” I say. I glance up and see that it’s Tilly.

  Crap. I wait for the inevitable abuse. Why didn’t I look where I was going instead of thinking about training?

  “It’s okay. I was in the way,” Tilly replies, stepping to the side and allowing me to pass.

  My jaw drops. What’s gotten into her? Where’s the snarky comment? The one that trips off the end of her tongue so instinctively it’s like she doesn’t even have time to think about it. Ridiculous.

  “Oh. See you later,” I say, pulling myself together and then going from jogging in one spot to running again.

  “Wait,” Tilly calls.

  I stop and glance back over my shoulder at Tilly, who’s heading toward me. Since when does Tilly come to someone? It’s always us going to her.

  “Yes?” I ask when she gets close.

  She looks at me from under her lashes and there’s a pink tinge to her cheeks, like she’s embarrassed or something. What the heck’s going on? “I just want to say thanks,” she says quietly.

  My jaw drops, and I have the strongest urge to pinch myself to make sure I’m not in the middle of a weird dream. “Um…what for?”

  “For helping me the other night in the bar.” She shifts from foot to foot, looking uneasy.

  “That’s okay.” All other words escape me.

  “And sorry for being mean about your family.”

  Now she’s just messing with me. She must be on something. She’s never considered my feelings before.

  “Okay.” I stare hard at her face, trying to see some sign of her playing a joke, but she looks genuine enough. Then again, she is an actress.

  “I would like to meet your mom sometime. I love chocolate muffins.”

  My heart softens. She really is trying to make an effort with me. Of course, it would have helped if she’d done it sooner. Or is there some ulterior motive? Maybe she wants me to do something for her. Crap. I just don’t know what to think. It would be great for us to be friends. Or just get along better.

  “Yeah. Sure. Of course. We’ll figure something out.”

  I’d love to tell Liv and Matt about this, but of course that’s not gonna happen. They couldn’t care less how Tilly treats me. Still, Vince will be interested. Although he thinks I’m too sensitive as far as Tilly is concerned. I admit she can be mean to everyone, but I still say that I get more than my fair share of her snark. A lot more. Vince hasn’t hear the half of what’s gone down.

  “Abi.”

  The sound of my name cuts across my thoughts, and I stare in the direction of the voice and see Danny beckoning for me to come over. Please don’t let him say he wants to rehearse tomorrow’s scene again. We’ve gone over it so many times I’m even dreaming about it. I get that it’s a big stunt scene, and it will be awesome when we actually shoot it, but sometimes if you practice something too much, it can lose its edge. It still needs to be fresh so the cameras can capture the moment. Well, that’s what Vince says, and he should know.

  “I better go,” I say to Tilly and jog over to where Danny is standing.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “I wanted to speak to you on your own,” Danny says.

  My body tenses. What have I done wrong now? And why do I have to be alone?

  “O-okay,” I say.

  I draw in a deep breath and wait. Danny’s a great guy, but he’s really strict on set. He needs to be. For obvious reasons. And if there’s something wrong, he makes sure you know about it. So it must be bad if he doesn’t want to say it in front of the others.

  “Relax, Abi.” he says. “I’m not about to tear you a new one.” He shakes his head, and I feel stupid for overreacting.

  “Oh.” I wrap my arms loosely around my middle and shift from foot to foot. I try to seem relaxed, but it’s not easy, and I suspect I’m not managing it.

  “You finish soon, and I was wondering what your plans are for the future.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek. This is weird. Why does he want to know? And why does this conversation have to be between the two of us? He’s never been interested in my future before.

  “Um. Not sure yet. Mom made me apply to the local community college.” And how lame does that make me sound. Mom made me. What about what I want?

  “Have you thought of doing stunt work professionally?”

  Have I? Yeah, of course. But that’s in my dreams. “Sort of. But I can’t afford to go to L.A. and try to find work.” Not to mention I’m not ready to go anywhere on my own, however much I’d love to. Travelling is what I should be doing with Liv, or Matt. But the way things are between us, I can’t guarantee it will ever happen. Liv might never speak to me again.

  “You’re a natural. I’ve never seen anyone take to stunt work so well on their first attempt. Really, you should think seriously about doing it. You’ve got your SAG card, and now you need to get an agent. I can put you in touch with a couple of good ones. And you can put my name on your resume.”

  I want to fling my arms around Danny and give him a big hug. I can’t believe he’d do that. It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

  “Really? You think I could do it?” I say, my voice sounding all breathless.

  Could this day get any better? Tilly being cool with me. And now Danny offering to help get my career off the ground. It’s better than anything I could’ve imagined. And having Jon being so lovely to me, too. It’s like everything that happened to me over the last ten years is now behind me.

  “I wouldn’t support you if I didn’t think so. I have a reputation to think about. Bill was right when he said how good you are. Such a quick learner, too.” He pats me on the back.

  Thanks, Bill. I owe him one. But I really can’t do anything until after Nationals. It wouldn’t be fair if I wasn’t there to represent the dojo.

  I rest my hand on my chest. “Thanks so much, Danny. I really appreciate it. And thanks for all your help on set. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

  All the tension in my body disappears, and I feel warm, relaxed, and happy. I let out a contented sigh, and Danny chuckles. He probably thinks I’m silly, because for him it’s not such a big deal, but at this precise moment I don’t care.

  “My pleasure, kid. I’ll email you the agents’ names for you to check out and choose one you like. Remember to say I recommended you. That will set you apart from the others they see. If I say so myself.”

  He walks away, and I stand there open-mouthed. I can’t believe what just happened. I want to pinch myself to make sure I’m really awake and not having the most incredible dream. It looks like I could have something to look forward to in the future after all. But I can’t help thinking how much better it would be if Matt and Liv could share it with me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As soon as the scene wraps, I run to the craft services table. Jon caught me earlier between scenes and asked me to meet him there. I’ve no idea what for. He seemed very serious though.

  When I get there, he’s standing to the side of the table, leaning against the wall. A beaming smile crosses his face as he sees me heading toward him.
That’s so weird. It’s so different from how he was before. Unless I misread his face. Or maybe because I was on set so he didn’t want to disturb me too much. Whatever, it doesn’t matter.

  “Yes?” My voice doesn’t sound like normal, more from the excitement of talking to Jon than exerting myself, I suspect.

  “I need you.”

  What? He needs me. Does he mean needs me as in needs me? Is it over between him and Tilly? It would be like all my dreams coming true at the same time if he wants to take me back to L.A. with him.

  “What for?” I look into his eyes. They seem troubled.

  “It’s Tilly,” he says, shaking his head. I was right. “She’s been on one of her benders.” So that’s why she hasn’t shown her face yet today. “And tonight is the premiere of Gaslight in New York. She was supposed to be coming with me.”

  I can’t wait to see Jon in the movie. It’s a remake of the classic Gaslight, and it’s set in London. Jon’s the Inspector who solves the crime. He’ll be perfect, and no one will be able to mock his accent, because he’s supposed to be British.

  “Oh no, what are you going to do?” I make myself sound concerned, even if I am jumping up and down with excitement on the inside. Not that I know what he wants me to do.

  “That’s where you come in.” He rests his arm around my shoulder, and my heart does a triple flip. Or is it a quadruple flip? Whatever it is, my insides are definitely fizzing.

  “Me?” I squeak. What is it with my freakin’ voice? He’ll think I’m so pathetic.

  “You’re to go home, pack a bag, and meet me at the airport at two. We’ve got a private plane waiting to fly us to New York and bring us back tomorrow.”

  He wants me to go with him as his date. He’s had enough of Tilly. He wants to show the world it’s over between them and that he’s found someone else.

  “New York?”

  “I want you to pretend to be Tilly tonight at the premiere and the party after.” My hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Don’t worry. I’ll be with you.”

  Oh. He doesn’t want me there. He wants me as Tilly there. So it’s not over between them. But even if it isn’t, helping him out means spending time with him. So, it’s a good thing. Okay, so it’s not quite what I wanted, but it’s a step in the right direction. Except there’s the obvious problem to deal with: how the hell can I be Tilly in front of millions of people? Someone’s sure to find out.