by K. Sterling
“You’d think…” He grinned as he pulled the paper off a straw. “But, he’s grieving.” Carter explained. Julie’s head fell to the side as her lip pushed out and curved down.
“Poor guy. I hope he feels better soon!” She said as she reached for another cup. “Try to have a great day, Carter.”
He nodded and thanked her before he went off to grab a basket and find Reid. Carter found Reid staring at cakes. He stood in front of the display like something that had been dumped and propped up. Carter handed Reid his coffee and they watched the cakes together for several moments.
“I want a cake.” Reid might have been talking to himself but Carter shrugged.
“Get a cake.” He said as he silently pondered having something written on whatever Reid chose. “Please, Cheer Up!” or “Don’t You Think Its Time You Shaved?” or “Having Sex With Your Boyfriend Is Allowed When You’re Grieving” might not go over well. Reid bit his lip as he considered.
“I can’t decide if I want chocolate or white cake.” He sighed. “Can I get two cakes?” Reid’s eyes were dull and empty when they reached Carter’s. No one, in the history of buttercream frosting had ever looked this unhappy while discussing which type of cake they were going to eat. Carter rubbed Reid’s back.
“Sure. Get two.” He’d buy all the cakes if they would help. Reid exhaled loudly as he picked up the chocolate cake and set it in the basket.
“Would you still love me if I got fat?” Reid asked as he debated over a white cake with a blue border or a white cake with sprinkles. Carter hoped he picked sprinkles. Sprinkles were more festive and cheerful. A person couldn’t be sad when sprinkles were involved. He’d cover the whole fucking world in sprinkles if it would make Reid take Sadie to the park and sleep in the bed instead of on the couch. Carter raised a brow and gave Reid a dry look.
“Yes, just not as often.” He grabbed the cake with the sprinkles and pushed Reid away from the bakery. “Come on, we’ll grab some of those blood test strips so we can keep an eye on your ‘beetis.” Carter teased.
“That’s pretty shitty, Carter.” Reid mumbled as he tossed a bag of chips in the basket. Carter kicked himself for not getting a cart. Reid ate a lot of junk food lately. Why did he think they’d get away with a basket?
“What? The thing about you getting diabetes?” He asked absently as he reached for a bag to put a chicken in. Reid shook his head.
“No, the part about not wanting me if I got fat.” He explained and Carter snorted.
“It was a stupid question.” He rearranged the basket, hoping to magically create more space. “I don’t care if you get fat, Reid. I’d prefer we didn’t have to hire people to carry you out of the house but if that’s your new plan, I’ll sit by your bed and feed you sticks of butter.” Carter said absently as he stared in the direction of the store entrance, trying to decide if it was too much trouble to go all the way back for a cart. Reid’s lips and stubble rubbed against his cheek and Carter smiled.
“I love you.” Reid murmured. When Carter turned to return the kiss, a weak grin tilted Reid’s lips and Carter wanted to jump up and down with joy. It was the closest thing to a smile he’d seen in weeks. Carter pressed a quick kiss to Reid’s lips.
“I love you too.” He whispered, not wanting Reid to hear his voice break.
They managed to make it out without resorting to a cart and were stowing their bags in the back of Carter’s car when Reid’s hand brushed down Carter’s back as his chin settled on Carter’s shoulder.
“Thank you for putting up with me.” Reid said softly before he kissed Carter’s neck. Carter shivered and he had to discreetly adjust the front of his jeans.
“Its fine.” He turned his head and kissed Reid’s temple before he pulled the hatch down. “Though I wouldn’t mind if you shaved.” Carter announced as he nudged Reid toward the passenger side of the car. He groaned as he dropped into his seat and had to shift to get comfortable. When he looked up, Reid was staring at him. His expression was soft and almost apologetic. Carter gave him a pointed look and Reid’s eyes flicked to Carter’s lap.
“It’s been a long time.” Reid admitted and Carter nodded as he looked over his shoulder, pulling out of the parking space.
“It has but I understand.” Sort of. Carter felt a little bit like shit at the thought. Reid set his hand on Carter’s thigh and began to rub toward his crotch and Carter groaned as he reached over and wrapped his hand around the back of Reid’s neck.
“When we get back to your place, I’ll shave and then we’ll have sex.” Reid offered.
“Oh, Thank God!” Carter exhaled loudly in relief and nodded enthusiastically.
Reid helped carry the bags in and they put everything away. Carter stopped Reid as he turned to go upstairs. He pulled Reid into his arms and kissed him hungrily, letting Reid feel how he ached for him and needed him to heal. His erection became painful when Reid’s hands slid under the back of his shirt. Carter growled as his lips brushed over Reid’s beard. He let his teeth drag when they met bare skin and Reid moaned softly.
“You can shave later.” Carter murmured as he backed Reid out of the kitchen.
Carter changed course just before they got to the stairs. There was a tube of KY in his desk, from the single/porn years. He guided Reid to the couch and stepped away long enough to snatch the lube. When he returned to Reid, Carter was anxious and feeling absurdly emotional. He took refuge in Reid’s mouth, letting the tide of need and joy rush into him as his hands greedily swept over Reid’s body. They touched constantly over the last few weeks but it had all been meant to soothe and console, Carter had kept his baser self in check and shelved his libido. He growled as he pushed his shirt up Reid’s body and whipped it over his head before he slid his hands down Reid’s chest. His fingers dug in as they pulled down Reid’s stomach and he moaned impatiently as he dropped to his knees and tugged the track pants and Reid’s boxers down. Reid’s cock sprang free and Carter took it in both hands and rubbed it all over his face before he pushed Reid back onto the couch and dove into his lap, burying his nose in Reid’s sack and inhaling.
“Jesus, Carter!” Reid jumped and hissed when Carter sucked one of his balls into his mouth. “Why didn’t you say something?” He asked as he feathered Carter’s hair with his fingers. Carter shook his head and released Reid.
“You were going through a lot, I didn’t want to be selfish.” He murmured the words against Reid’s tender skin, not wanting to lose the feel or taste of him. Reid groaned as his hands wrapped tighter around Carter’s head.
“I love you so much, Carter.” He whispered shakily.
Carter squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ease the burning as they watered and hummed in agreement as he filled his mouth with Reid’s delicate flesh. He sucked and licked Reid’s sack until it became tighter and harder and moved up to Reid’s cock. Reid’s head fell back against the couch and he became a fountain of moans and sighs as Carter sucked and lapped at his erection. Carter waited until his need was almost unbearable before he turned Reid and had him put his knees on the couch and lean against the back. Carter held Reid open and ravenously lapped, probed and sucked Reid’s puckered, soft skin and tight entrance. He fingered Reid’s ass until Reid became demanding and writhed around his fingers. When he finally slid into Reid’s body, Carter’s control vaporized. Sex with Reid since they got their clean test results had been intensely intimate and felt indescribably good but it paled in comparison to what he felt as he thrust into Reid’s hot, clenching passage after weeks of abstinence.
“Oh. Fuck.” Carter ground out as he leaned over Reid. “I’m so sorry.” He grunted as he began to thrust deep. Reid dropped his forehead onto the couch and wrapped his hands around Carter’s wrists.
“Why are you sorry?” He panted.
“Because I’m going to fuck you too hard and too fast. I can’t take it Reid, I can’t hold on.” His voice was low and gravelly as he angled his hips, driving hard. R
eid gasped and spread his knees wider.
“Don’t. I want you to take whatever you need.” He said as he braced himself.
Carter groaned as his last coherent thought faded. All he could comprehend was the need to get further inside of Reid, faster. He was the joints of his hips, the balls of his feet, the clenching muscles of his ass, all fluidly strung together as a wave of motion that crashed into Reid. Carter was the pounding of his pelvis against Reid’s ass, the slap-slap-slap of overheated skin on skin, the heaviness and pressure building in his groin and the electric, hot pleasure from the friction of Reid’s tight passage clinging to Carter’s throbbing cock.
As if from miles away, Carter heard Reid urging him to take more. He heard Reid scream his name and that he loved him over and over, and it was like gusts of wind feeding an already out of control fire. When Reid clenched brutally tight around Carter’s shaft and began to shudder and buck wildly beneath him, Carter roared and his movements became frenzied and uncoordinated. He sobbed Reid’s name when his body seized before it erupted and weeks worth of desire and loneliness poured from him. Carter squeezed his eyes shut as scalding tears flooded his vision because even though he’d been so close to Reid for so many days, they hadn’t connected and shared. He’d kept his physical needs in check and existed around Reid, for Reid. Carter came and it was violent and consuming, purging the stoic patience and soothing calm. He wrapped his body around Reid’s as his tremors subsided and a different longing swelled. Reid sighed contentedly as he turned his head and found Carter’s lips.
“We need a nap.” He slurred against Carter’s mouth. Carter nodded but his lips pulled tight.
“Not here. I want to sleep with you upstairs, in the bed.” He demanded and Reid’s brows rose. Carter stood up and pulled Reid with him. “I want pillows and sheets and blankets. I want us to be able to stretch out and roll around.” Carter didn’t give Reid time to argue, he grabbed his arm and started towing him toward the stairs.
“I love the couch and…” Reid was cut off when Carter shook his head firmly.
“I love the couch too. For naps and making out. But we’re grown men, not drunk frat boys. We sleep in beds and sometimes have slow, comfortable sex that doesn’t result in stiff necks and bruised shins. I want us to feel like us again. I want to feel normal. I want us to sleep in the bed, Reid.” Carter didn't feel a little bit bad for putting his foot down. He appreciated Reid’s grief but his own feelings were refusing to submit. He saw a flash in Reid’s eyes and hoped that it wasn’t disappointment or sadness before he nodded and a weak smile surfaced.
“Fine. We’ll sleep in the bed.” He agreed. “Can I pull up my pants?” Reid jerked his head toward his feet. His ankles were bound by track pants and boxers and Carter grinned as he stepped on the waists.
“You won’t need these.” He said and Reid nodded as he stepped out of them. “I can lose my shirt, too.” Carter yanked his shirt over his head and Reid laughed. Which almost made Carter cry. Again. Reid must have caught it.
“I’m sorry, Carter.” He whispered as he pulled him into his arms. Carter didn’t mean to moan but feeling all of Reid, naked and holding him was completely divine.
“You don’t have to apologize, I understand.” Carter rubbed his face along Reid’s shoulder and into the corner of his neck and sighed happily as his hands swept greedily over his skin. God, he’d missed this body. Reid’s hand slid around Carter’s jaw and he ducked his head and found Carter’s eyes.
“I’ve been a terrible boyfriend. I’ve neglected you and put a lot of strain on our relationship and you’ve been incredibly patient and supportive the whole time.” Reid’s eyes watered and the tightness was returning to Carter’s chest. He shook his head and made a shushing sound as he pulled Reid close again. He felt like he was catching glimpses of the old Reid and he didn’t want him disappearing again.
“Please! Its fine. Something terrible happened and we’re dealing with it.” Carter insisted. He felt the tension leave Reid and a long sigh washed over Carter’s neck.
“I love you and I’m going to do better from now on.” Reid promised and relief flooded Carter.
“I love you too.” He raised his head and brushed his lips against Reid’s before he led him up the stairs.
Carter had another moment when Reid crawled across the bed and crashed on the pillows. Seeing him naked, relaxed and sprawled on the bed created a tidal wave of emotion within Carter. It was such a silly thing but it symbolized happiness, normalcy, content, intimacy, unity… it was everything that Carter craved. He turned away as he finished undressing so Reid wouldn’t see as he struggled to regain his composure. When he had everything under control and settled on the bed, Carter pulled Reid close and wrapped his body around him. Feeling all of his body pressed against all of Reid’s was soothing and heavenly. For the first time in weeks, Carter felt complete and comfortable. He sighed when Reid’s breathing slowed and became regular and his body melted into Carter’s. A soft snore rattled in Reid’s throat and Carter smiled and began to sing softly.
Chapter 27
Whatever it was that Reid was smelling, his soul yearned for it. It curled and tickled at Reid’s nose, luring him from heavy, sated sleep. He blinked at the ceiling for several moments, replaying the events of the afternoon that ended with him passing out in bed. The sun was setting and was aimed directly into the bedroom window, flooding the bed in warm light. Carter’s head rested on Reid’s shoulder and his body was draped over Reid’s. Aside from the source of the glorious smell, Reid couldn’t think of anything else he needed. For the first time in weeks, he felt happy. The overwhelming sad had lifted. It was still present but faint, everything wasn’t shrouded in it’s dreadful weight.
Reid rubbed his cheek against Carter’s hair and sighed. He heard a soft murmur and Carter raised his head and smiled drowsily. Reid lost his breath for a moment. The glow bathed Carter’s face and he was incandescent and precious. My God, I have everything. Reid wrapped his hands around Carter’s face and kissed him. He filled Carter’s mouth with reverence and awe as gratitude and joy burst within him. Carter rose on his elbows, his body sliding, warm and smooth over Reid’s and he angled his head and took the kiss deeper as he rocked his hips against Reid’s. Heat and lust bloomed and Reid moaned into Carter’s mouth. Carter’s lips skidded along Reid’s jaw and found his ear.
“I want you inside of me.” He breathed and Reid’s cock throbbed angrily. Carter felt it and ground against it. “Are you up for that right now?” He asked gently and Reid melted a little inside.
“Yeah. Anything you want, Carter.” Reid promised as he rolled them on their side and reached over Carter’s shoulder toward the bedside table for the lube. “Whatever you need, just ask.” He whispered as he pulled Carter’s leg over his waist and locked their hips together. Reid coated his fingers and slid them into the cleft of Carter’s ass and stroked his soft hole.
“That.” Carter sighed. “I need that.” He nibbled and sucked on Reid’s lower lip as Reid fingered his tight passage until Carter became restless.
When Reid slid into Carter’s body, he felt complete and that he was home. Their tongues tangled and their lips fused as Reid drove deeper into Carter. They clawed and clung to each other as they rocked slow and hard, silently urging the other to give more. Reid thrust’s became intense, grinding and digging deep as Carter squeezed around Reid and rolled his hips. They panted, groaned and grunted into each other until it became too hard to breathe without gasping. Reid rolled and Carter was beneath him. He wrapped his arms around Carter’s thighs and pulled as he slammed his hips forward. Carter’s shoulders came off the bed and his head rolled back as he yelled Reid’s name.
“Stroke your cock. Come for me.” Reid growled as he pounded into Carter.
Heat and pressure flooded Reid’s groin and his sack tightened when Carter’s hand wrapped around his erection and began to tug frantically. Carter’s other hand twisted in the sheets and
his breath hissed between his teeth as his head thrashed on the bed. The muscles of his stomach quivered and Reid felt him tense. Carter’s mouth ripped open and his eyes were wide as his ass clamped tight around Reid and come burst from the end of his cock. Reid felt his nerves winding and pleasure coiling and he ground his teeth as he waited for Carter to stop trembling, for the last of his come to dribble from the end of his cock. As soon as Carter released it, Reid slid his hand down Carter’s stomach, collecting his come with his fingers and shoved them into his mouth. Reid moaned ecstatically as the taste of Carter coated his tongue. How had he gone so long without tasting this? His body shattered and he screamed around his fingers as he arched and writhed. Carter reached for Reid and pulled him on top of him and Reid convulsed in Carter’s arms as he sobbed his name.
You have to snap out of it and live. He deserves more than waiting on you hand and foot while you hide like a scared baby. Reid twined his fingers with Carter’s and waited for their chests to stop heaving. When he could finally talk, Reid pushed off the bed and stared down at Carter. Carter raised a brow and waited. Reid smiled and he saw Carter’s eyes light up.
“I love you and I’m going to be all right. I don’t want to hang onto the pain anymore.” He said softly. Carter was very still as his eyes searched Reid’s before he rose on his elbows stretched toward Reid’s lips.
“Sell your house and move in with me.” Carter held his breath while Reid struggled to contain the laugh that stirred in his chest and throat. This was huge, it was monumental coming from Carter. Reid nodded, his throat was too clogged and his vision swam. He dropped and covered Carter’s lips with his and the laugh he’d tried to hold onto spilled into Carter. “Is that a yes?” Carter asked when Reid rested his forehead on Carter’s.
“Yes.” Reid whispered, still too stunned and overwhelmed that Carter would even consider the idea. Carter squeezed Reid tight and the room swung around them and Reid was on his back.