Falling Into Infinity

by Layne Harper

  “What?” I shrieked as I shoved my phone at Colin to read.

  “Motherfucker! What’s going on Charlie?” he said in utter confusion.

  We quickly got inside my apartment and pulled up the hottest gossip website. Sure enough there was a picture of me crying in the restaurant with Colin attempting the console me. The headline read “Is CharCol over?” The media had dubbed us CharCol.

  Beside the picture of me crying was a picture of Libby Maxwell, an actress from some dumb reality show, with her arm around Colin’s neck. Apparently, undisclosed sources had confirmed that Colin and I had broken up because he has been dating Libby for the past two months. Colin was reading this nonsense over my shoulder. When I looked up at him, he was as white as a ghost.

  “It’s just a stupid story, Colin. We know it isn’t true. No need to let this garbage ruin our evening,” I tried to placate him. “We have a movie to make out to.”

  Then I saw why he was so upset. I read the first comment under the story: “Finally, her hot ass can be mine. I’m going to show her how a real man fucks. I’m going to tie her up and shoot my cum in her long hair.”

  He reached for his phone and dialed his agent. I knew this because his hand was on my back, and he was rubbing my shoulder. He did this every time that he got upset. He had told me before that if he can touch me, he calms down.

  “Mark. It’s Colin.” There was a pause in the conversation.

  “Fucking fix this nonsense before I do. Have them remove the comment immediately!” he screamed into the phone.

  There was another long pause. I knew Colin did not like what he heard because his grip on my shoulder tightened.

  “Mark, I pay you a shit load of money. Get your people out there fixing this story. No. I met her at some event that was held in Dallas. Her dad is a big fan, and she wanted a picture. I AM NOT FUCKING HER! I don’t care about the fabricated story. I care that someone wants to rape Caroline!” he screamed into the phone.

  There was another pause in the conversation. I assumed that Mark was trying to calm Colin down because his grip loosened on my shoulder.

  “I know Mark. This is my girl. I can’t take much more of the bullshit,” he said in a much calmer voice.

  “Okay Mark. I’ll talk to the university tomorrow,” he said.

  He ended the call and looked at me with pleading eyes. “I know that you’re upset, Charlie, but you have to hear me out. Mark said that he would have the comment removed from the website and contact the College Station and campus police. We need to leave here for Rachael’s sake and go back to our apartment in Dallas until we are sure that this asshole isn’t a threat and the paparazzi are no longer digging for a story. Reporters are on their way to your apartment right now. We need to go.”

  “Colin, in case you have forgotten, I will not get into medical school if I don’t complete college. I want to pick up my ring on Friday. I can’t run to Dallas because some lunatic thinks I’m hot or reporters with nothing better to do sit outside of my apartment. There are some things in my life that do not revolve around you,” I added with acid in my voice.

  “I know that you’re upset. I am upset too, but there is no need to be angry at me. This is just part of being Colin.Fucking.McKinney the motherfucking mission statement, Charlie,” he said sarcastically.

  I ran into my closet and shut the door sobbing. How could this evening have gone so badly? I had so much fun getting to buy him a car and playing sexting games with him. I just wanted to have dinner in a restaurant like everybody else. Yet, here I found myself crying in my closet with the media going crazy over break-up reports and assholes threatening to rape me. All I wanted in that moment was to just be a normal college girl again.

  He opened the door and joined me on the floor under my neatly hung pants. “I’m just a girl who loves a boy,” I sobbed. “Why can’t they leave us alone?”

  He tried his best to soothe me, but I was beyond calm at that point. I knew in my heart that Colin was completely devoted to me. He’d made it clear time and time again. I was his future. I just hated that I knew that THIS was our future. We’d have to run off and pay a fortune to get married because CharCol‘s wedding would bring in big paparazzi dollars. God forbid if we brought a little one into this madness. There would be a bump watch to see how fat I get and high dollar shots to see the baby. What if someone tried to kidnap our baby because they know that Colin can pay the ransom? I started sobbing harder because I didn’t know if I could deal with this future. In my heart, I knew that I had an out. There was a golden ticket to Harvard that would take all of this stress out of my life, but it also would remove Colin.

  “Charlie, let’s get our bags packed. We’ll go to our apartment in Dallas. The security is top notch. We’ll eat delivery and watch shitty movies. I’ll even watch ‘What About Bob?’ We’ll play high school make out. That sounded like fun,” he said, winking at me. “We’ll give Aiden and Rachael a break. The media isn’t going to stay long once they know that we’ve gone into hiding. We’ll let the police do their thing. I’ll put a personal phone call in to the President of Texas A&M. God only knows the amount of revenue that I’ve personally generated for this university. They owe me this favor. I will guarantee that you will graduate in May if I have to hire bodyguards for you, and we’ll get you your Aggie ring.”

  His plan and assurances made me feel better. I stood up and started packing my duffle bag. Colin grabbed a bag for himself and threw in a few essentials.

  “You get changed, baby. I’m going to text Rachael and Aiden and let them know to stay away from the apartment for a few days,” he reassured me.

  I changed out of my beautiful lavender dress and shoes and put on yoga pants and a light weight sweatshirt. So much for seducing my boyfriend, I thought while I put on my comfies. Dallas is about three hours from College Station. We had a drive ahead of us.

  I gathered my school essentials and threw them in the duffle. Colin quickly grabbed our stuff and headed to the Porsche. I followed behind him with my absurdly expensive purse and newest cell phone. The car was ready and waiting to whisk me off to the fortress that is Colin’s apartment.

  “Charlie, I need to make some phone calls. Do you mind if I do it through your car Bluetooth?” he asked me.

  “It’s your car. Do whatever you want.” I knew that he was really upset, and I wished that I had just said okay.

  Even in the dark car on a stretch of road with no lights, I could see him glaring at me. I pulled out my phone and started working on my text to all those who loved me.

  I tried to ignore Colin’s conversations. His first phone call was to his parents. He reassured them that he and I were not breaking up and there was no other woman. Then, I heard the stress in his voice when he told them about the threat and about the reporters headed to my apartment.

  I rolled my eyes. Should he really have to have these sorts of conversations with his parents?

  His mom went on and on about how much she loved me and how he needed to reassure and protect me.

  Now, it was his turn to roll his eyes. I needed to remember to call her tomorrow.

  His next call was to leave a voicemail canceling his public appearances for the next three days.

  Finally, he grabbed his phone and took it off Bluetooth. I was now suspicious.

  “Why can’t I hear this conversation, Colin?” I asked.

  “Because I am calling Mark. He has the media people working on what stories the trash tabloids are running with. I also want an update on whether or not they have tracked down who this asshole is. There is no need for you to hear this shit, Charlie,” he said with utter disgust in his voice.

  My heart dropped into my stomach. We’d had to deal with this right after Colin got the starting quarterback job. I was about to go for a run in Dallas in my sports bra and shorts. Someone snapped a very unflattering picture of me while I was stretching with my behind in the air and bent over a bench. Some magazine had a “caption this picture” con
test. When Colin found out about it, he just about lost his mind. He had his attorney write a nasty letter to the magazine, he called and apologized to my parents and lost himself in a bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, we had another repeat of the lake house weekend.

  I reached over and rubbed his leg. “Look. I know that you love me. You know that I love you. What the media reports doesn’t mean anything to me. Those people that we care about know the truth. You can’t threaten to sue every time there is a story about us. To be perfectly honest, I would have the media run stories about us every day if it meant that we could eat out or go shopping without being mauled.” I knew that this was much more about the threat. I’d learned some time ago and the hard way that loving Colin meant I was media fair game.

  I moved my hand from his leg to his hair. I could feel the tension leaving his body as I rubbed his scalp and played with his waves.

  “That feels good, baby,” he purred.

  “If that feels good, how good would this feel?” I said as I moved my hand from his hair to the rock hard bulge in his jeans. I played with him through his pants for a little while. When I went to undo the top button, he let out a loud moan.

  “Charlie, what are you doing?” he purred at me.

  “Watching TV,” I said playfully as I pulled down his zipper. “Now, we need to do something about these pants.”

  He rose up just a fraction of an inch and allowed me to work his pants to his knees freeing his huge, throbbing erection. I reached over and started stoking and massaging it.

  He put the seat back on the driver’s chair and set the cruise control.

  “Do you think that this is a good idea?” he whispered/moaned at me.

  I undid my seatbelt and wrapped my mouth around the head of his penis. I took it all the way, wrapping my lips around my teeth and gently biting while I sucked.

  I lifted my head up and said with syrupy sweetness in my voice, “I could stop if you wish.”

  “God, no. Please finish. This is a great idea,” he moaned.

  I leaned back down and ran my tongue up and down the shaft of his penis making sure that I licked the top when the pre-cum started dripping. His sounds of pleasure made me aware that I would do anything to hear him like this. I loved making him crazy with want and need for me. I wrapped my mouth around his penis again, working hard to break my own personal record for the best blowjob given.

  I knew he was about to come because he started breathing harder and grabbing on to my back. I took his huge balls in my hand and gently pulled and squeezed. He shot his cum down the back of my throat while he gyrated in my mouth. When he was done, I licked every bit of him clean.

  I leaned up and kissed him gently on the mouth and scurried back to my seat and put my seat belt on.

  “I think I deserve a Diet Coke for that,” I said very confidently.

  He laughed out loud. Really laughed. Not the obligatory ha ha laugh. He laughed from his belly. He reached over and ran his hand over my hair petting me. “Charlie, you deserve much more than a Diet Coke for that.”

  Once his pants had been restored to normal, he called the 24-hour concierge at his apartment building and informed them that we would be arriving in a couple of hours. He asked that the refrigerator be filled with the basics and added a six pack of Coke Zero for me and three good bottles of Malbec wine. He also advised them of the threat to me.

  I smiled and thanked him.

  We stopped at the first convenience store that we came to. He got his customary water while I grabbed a fountain Cherry, Vanilla Diet Coke, a bag of Doritos, and gummy bears.

  “What are you five-years-old?” he teased.

  “I just performed my personal best blowjob. This is my prize,” I whispered back.

  “No, your prize is that I am not letting you out of bed tomorrow. I’m going to worship your body all day long,” he tossed at me while we were standing at the counter to pay.

  I sucked in a deep breath and muttered, “Oh my.”

  September, Junior Year

  “CHARLIE, YOU plan on sitting with my parents, right?” he asked while shoveling a fork full of roast in his mouth. I’d made a pot roast in the crock-pot, and it was damn good.

  “Umm… I had just planned on pulling a ticket to the game with Aiden and Rachael. Why?” I asked while I marveled at how much he ate. Now that two-a-day practices were over, I’d thought he would start eating like a normal human again. That wasn’t the case. It was almost gross how much food he put away. The Aggies’ first game of the season was Saturday. I was looking forward to it which was new for me because I hated football.

  “But, then you will be on third deck, and I won’t be able to see you,” he reasoned.

  “Why do you need to see me? Just throw the damn ball to whoever is supposed to catch it. I don’t think you need to know where I am to do that,” I replied flippantly. Was this conversation even necessary?

  He threw his fork down slamming it against his plate. It startled me and I jumped. “Because, you are my girlfriend, at least the last time I checked, and I want you there because I love you and I need your support.”

  “Well, if you had just said that instead of assuming that I am a mind reader, then I guess that I will sit wherever you want me. I don’t know your parents all that well, but sure. It won’t be the least bit awkward,” I said, while rolling my eyes.

  He picked up his fork and started the inhaling of food again. Apparently, getting mad at me didn’t squelch his appetite. “Good. I’ll get tickets for you, Rachael, and Aiden. That way you will not have my parents forced on just you,” he said with venom in his voice.

  “Colin, that’s not what I meant and you know it.” I huffed. I had met his parents one time when apparently we were dating and I didn’t know it. They were nice enough, but in hindsight, I realized that they were just as confused about our status as I was.

  He shoved back from the table and grabbed his plate and put it in the sink. I heard him banging around and slamming drawers. I sat at my kitchen table and watched him throw his snit fit.

  Finally, I said, “Your reaction does not match this conversation. What’s going on?”

  He walked back over to the table and directed his green-eyed glare straight into my lavender eyes. “I have sat here and watched movies while you’ve studied for the MCAT. I have purposely stayed longer at practice to give you your study time, and you can’t even sit where I ask you to at the first game of the season? Do you understand, Charlie, that this is my future?”

  Now he was yelling at me. “If I fuck up this season, instead of playing in the NFL, I am sitting behind a desk banging away on a keyboard all day. This is my medical school. The next four months define my life.”

  “I love you Charlie, but sometimes you are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. Do you think that your medical school is any more important than my NFL career? You just need to keep in mind that I have dreams too,” he stormed at me. His eyes were dark green with anger and his fists were balled at his side.

  I felt awful. I didn’t realize all of this. He was right. I’d take my MCAT in three weeks. All I’d done that summer was take practice tests and study. “So, if I asked you to come watch me take the MCAT, you would?” I asked in my sweetest way. Why can’t I just say that I am sorry?

  “I would wear a fucking cheerleader outfit and carry pompoms, if you asked me to,” he said, still furious with me.

  I reached up and grabbed his penis through his athletic shorts and started massaging. “What if I asked you to give up football, run my medical practice, and be my house husband?”

  Before he could answer, I pulled his shorts down and took his gigantic penis into my mouth and started sucking it with everything that I had.

  “Oh… Charlie… Shit…,” he moaned out loud while grabbing me and tugging on my hair.

  I started sucking so hard that my cheeks hollowed in. I knew that he was close to coming when he started moving his hips.

  I stopped what I wa
s doing and looked at him.

  “What are you doing?” he gasped.

  “I’m showing you how it makes me feel when you just assume that I know what you are thinking and feeling. If you want me to do something, just ask me. Don’t assume that I can read your mind.” I prayed that he got the message.

  He picked me up and carried me into my room slamming the door behind him. Before I knew it, I was up against a wall with my panties off, naked and my legs wrapped around his waist. He pounded his huge penis inside me making me gasp. It surprised me more than it hurt. He paused for just a split second and then continued his assault. I leaned into his mouth and kissed him hard and passionately matching his intense pounding.

  “Colin,” I said into his mouth. “You don’t have a condom on.”

  He growled back at me and kept up his relentless assault on my body. I threw my head back and screamed his name as I came.

  He finished inside me for the first time ever. I could feel the hot liquid fill me up. It felt so sensual to have him naked inside me.

  He carried me back to my bed and threw me on it.

  “That is how you make me feel when you use sex as a weapon,” he spat at me.

  He turned and walked into my bathroom and shut the door. I could hear the water running. I lay on the bed waiting to see what was coming next.

  He emerged from the bathroom about ten minutes later wrapped in a pink, fluffy towel monogrammed with my initials. He looked so ridiculous that it might have been funny, if Colin wasn’t angry with me. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed his shorts. I watched him walk back into my bathroom and shut the door. He came back out a few minutes later fully dressed.

  “Where are you going?” I asked with dread in my voice. I was thinking about the Jack Daniels at the lake house and didn’t want a repeat.

  “I’m going to my place. You want communication. Well, here is some communication for you. I am pissed at you,” he said, running his fingers through his wavy, wet hair. “I need you, Caroline. I think about you constantly. I wonder what you are doing. I go to sleep dreaming about our future together. I don’t think you give a fuck about me as more than a convenient pastime and fuck-buddy when you need a study break. I shouldn’t have to ask you to sit with the families at my football games. You should want to. You should demand that you sit with my parents. You should put down your MCAT study shit and ask me to spend time with you. Let me leave you with this thought,” he said, yelling down at me while I lay naked on my bed. “Have you ever been to my dorm room? No! I chase you. It would be nice to be chased back.”