Crazy About My Best Friend

by Hazel Keys

  “All right then, I’ll call you when we’re ready. Thanks so much, David.”

  “Hey, Amelia. It’s the least I could do for an old friend.”

  “Thanks, hon. All right, it’s nice hearing from you. I’ll see you then.”

  “Great, talk to you later. Bye.”

  “Yeah. Talk to you later…”

  Chapter 1:David

  She told me she wanted to ask a favor. Who would have thought after all these years that Amelia would remember me, let alone need a favor. There’s something very primal, very innately satisfying, when a man can do a favor for a woman—provide. Prove his worth. And it’s the kind of thing I used to do for Amelia all the time, back when we were friends. Hell, we still are friends. We’ve been friends ever since the first grade.

  I think love feels differently when you’re in the first grade, and then evolves over the years as our bodies and minds change. When I first saw Amelia I wasn’t sure what I was feeling—except that nothing else mattered that day but making her laugh. Her smile somehow distracted this seven-year-old boy that was obsessed with superheroes and for hours, maybe even days, all I cared about in the world was making her laugh.

  I’m sure anybody back then would have told me, “Just wait till you grow older. You’re going to meet so many other girls that are going to ‘distract’ you from life.”

  But even as a teenager, I still knew I felt something strong for Amelia. She grew up pretty and cute but turned into a redheaded bombshell. She had that quirky face and bubbly smile that definitely made her stand out at any formal affair. She didn’t belong with the super-classy bourgeois. She was just too much fun. She was a real woman, had a real body not supermodel thin, and dressed a little conservatively just because that was her way.

  As we grew older, reluctantly aging into our twenties, she always stayed the beautiful and quirky girl I fell in love with. The only thing that I could see that changed about her was her green eyes. They grew distant.

  I guess she did what most girls do, and entered a series of bad relationships where her trust was violated. Her eyes grew cold, even though her smile stayed shining so bright.

  It’s about right now that everyone asks me, “Why didn’t you tell her how you felt?” If you were in love with her since day one, what made you wait?

  I wish I could say something romantic like, “I never wanted to risk losing our friendship” or maybe even something pathetic like, “I was afraid of rejection”. But the truth is that the timing has always been wrong.

  Timing means everything in love and maybe that’s not what people want to hear, but it’s true—it’s everything.

  Friendship has to be stronger than fickle romance, that’s just the rules of a long-lasting friendship. You don’t take advantage of someone if you genuinely care about their well-being.

  So yeah, I gave her a big shit-eating smile when she told me she was dating some guy from high school. Some stupid jock. What was I supposed to tell her? No, dump him for me so we can turn our platonic friendship into a red-hot romance and you can dump all of his football game celebrations for my chess club victories.

  Timing, man. It’s timing.

  At some point, you just have to let your friend go. Because that’s what good friends do. And yeah, I guess it is kind of ironic that all these years later I work as a vitamin distributor, selling health products, vitamins and herbal products to athletes, high schools, colleges, gyms and fitness centers. I became the “jock-whisperer”. Instead of hating dumb jocks, I actually became their enablers and help them to work harder, think less and embrace their physical peak performance.

  But maybe it’s all for the best. All of my knowledge of health foods and my crazy work travels have me looking like a young Hugh Jackman, abs of steel, thanks to my home treadmill and my tendency to do sit ups when I’m stressed. I am the type of guy who can pick up girls by just showing up at the bar. And yet I’ve reached that point of adult social responsibility, where just because “I can” doesn’t motivate me to want to.

  The truth is all I ever think about is Amelia, even after all these years later.

  I’ve tried to stop thinking about her, I’ve done everything short of going to therapy, where I would inevitably talk more about how crazy I am for Amelia, which sort of defeats the purpose.

  I even did the unthinkable. In a desperate attempt to forget the woman and move on with my otherwise awesome life—full of world travel, two vacations a year, job security, great sex and all the free vitamins I could ever want, eh not exactly a Starbucks membership but it’s something—I even met someone else.

  I tried to forget Amelia by doing the only respectable thing: meet someone else equally gorgeous and make love like bunnies. That’s supposed to be the cure for lovesickness right?

  Except that well…it’s not. When I first met Crystal, a cheerleader for a very prominent NFL team that has been unfortunately on a losing streak through no fault of her own, things were great. She’s perfect. She’s very much opposite of Amelia and very devoted to making my life complete.

  So why then do I still lay awake at night thinking about this woman from my past? I admit, the problem has gotten much worse within the last two months. Because that’s when I found out that Amelia is single again.

  Yes, she finally broke it off with another loser and is probably wallowing in despair. My instincts are to comfort her, to talk to her, to make a move…

  And yet I know it’s the most terrible sort of betrayal to do that to Crystal. Crystal and I got engaged last year and have been going steady for about a year. This is my future…this is the final chapter in my love life.

  Right?

  And that’s why right about now I would be drowning myself in work and getting the hell over my stupid baggage from the past.

  And then THIS happens.

  Amelia calls me out of the blue and asks me a favor.

  What is that? What is a favor? Is this the kind of favor that means something, that hints at something or is this the kind of favor that just means, we’re still good friends—please drive me to the airport, or help me get my hot French boyfriend some new clothes. What kind of a favor, I wonder.

  I have to overanalyze the way she said it, because that’s just my OCD nature. She said she wanted me to come and help her MOTHER. That’s definitely not sexy. Not at all seductive in the least. Admittedly, she did call me a big strong guy that could have just been flattery to get me to say yes. Any man likes his ego stroked, no matter how “spoken for” he is.

  Of course, I can’t help but wonder if maybe somewhere, whether on the tip of her tongue or in the back of her subconscious, maybe she’s feeling me out. To see if I’m interested? I know she’s protecting herself, which is why she kept throwing her mother in there as a shield from sounding too personal.

  But I still wonder if now is the right timing. Not only is this bad timing with Crystal, but if she’s rebounding from a relationship, it’s the worst timing for Amelia too. I can’t seriously do anything, can I? How can I risk a good relationship with Crystal with just a possibility?

  I don’t know…maybe this is just a fantasy. A vivid dream that I can’t seem to wake up from. I just wish…I wish I knew what Amelia was thinking.

  Chapter 2:Amelia

  I never understood my grandmother when she said love is like “blazing hot coals”. I always thought love was heroic, tragic and beautiful. But there’s a dark side to it, one that burns and that destroys everything we hold precious.

  I should have paid more attention to all those times I helped grandma put grocery produce away. Love is a living thing, an organism that has an end date. It expires when it’s not protected, it exists only to provide nourishment to our lives.

  I’m tired of saying “I love you, I trust you.” Tired of playing the same game that ends the same way every time. Broken relationships, false promises, mistakes. And we have no choice but to let it go—give away little pieces of our heart.

  And then the
re’s someone like David. David, my silly childhood friend who has been there for me through thick and thin. Oh God, if only I could meet a man with David’s compassion, his ethics, his gentle soul. Maybe that’s what every woman wants—a tall, fair and handsome stranger that just happens to want to be friends.

  David and I grew up together. We knew each other as children. I think when you grow up with someone, maybe you take for granted their good qualities. Looking back now, in my thirties, I always knew that his “type” would be the type I eventually would want to fall in love with. Caring, unpretentious and yes, a little bit of a wise guy.

  But with David, it never felt like anything romantic. It just felt like we were friends. He wasn’t the romantic hero type growing up. He always could make me laugh but I guess when I was younger I didn’t want someone to make me laugh, or make me think. I wanted to feel something. And I got what I wished for, boy did I ever!

  And David, David you jackass! Don’t try to tell me you never thought about it! I know for a fact you thought about it because I saw that look on your face that one time, I saw it! And if you ever play dumb with me, I will tell you to your face that I saw it and that you made that face. You know. You know you did!

  Oh well, but why get upset about something you can’t change?

  I moved on. David moved on. Last I heard he is getting married to some cheerleader. Good for him. The truth is, I never really imagined myself with David. I think we were both just too protective of our friendship to risk complicating it with a hypothetical romance. It’s too iffy, it’s too dangerous. I mean, people lose friendships—they lose everything they are when they try to cross that bridge. And sometimes there’s just nothing there.

  My God, we’ve been through so much together. I just think he and I treasure our memories too much to screw them up with a half-hearted romance. And Crystal, what would that do to Crystal?

  Oh it’s all silly talk anyway. The truth is, I really just need to talk to David again, as a friend. Mother does so enjoy his company and I have come to enjoy seeing him as well. It makes me feel like we’re teenagers again, just ageless, timeless. God, I don’t want to sacrifice THAT for something quick and cheap. David understands. More than anyone, he understands.

  I think maturity is about that, making peace with the things that you will never have in life. We come to appreciate the little things that we have, like friendship, without the obsession to turn it into a hot romance.

  I am tired of romance. I am hungry for friendship. And I know David is strong enough to feel the same way.

  Chapter 3:David

  I managed to put aching questions of my future out of my mind when I went to visit Jake. Jake, a long time friend and for all practical purposes, a body double of Collin Farrell—and a much better man with the ladies, I confess—was drinking on Saturday as always when I showed up with free beer. Free beer of course is the secret password for a stag night.

  “David!” he bellowed, taking the free beer and welcoming me to his couch. “How are you, man? It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you since you got engaged.”

  “Has it been that long?” I asked, relaxing on the couch and instantly laughing my pressures away. Jake’s laidback attitude to life always helped perk me up through the years.

  “Yeah, Crystal’s got you on a short leash, man.”

  “Nah, I’ve just been busy.”

  “You still selling those vitamins?”

  “Yeah. I got three new accounts this week, one of which is a major NFL football coach.”

  “Awesome. Can I guess which one?”

  “I can’t say, but you could probably guess which one. They’ve had a series of bad seasons over the last several years.”

  “Say no more. Put me down for a shipment, will you? Need some Calcium, Vitamin D, Ginkgo biloba and Chocolate Thai.”

  “Funny!” I said with a smirk. “I only sell legal vitamins, bruhhh!”

  “So you’re really getting married, huh?” Jake asked, flipping on the TV and leaving it on a football game, Dallas versus Miami. “I got to be honest. I never pictured you as the marrying type.”

  “Really? Why? You were always the perennial bachelor, not me.”

  “Yeah well…Crystal, like okay…Crystal is great and all, don’t get me wrong. Don’t misunderstand this. She’s like really hot, actually. Totally out of your league.”

  “I know,” I said with a smile. “She’s amazingly beautiful.”

  “But I always pictured you with someone more…intellectual, I guess.”

  “Owch…owch!”

  “Yeah, that came out wrong. I take it back.”

  “Damn, Crystal would kick your ass if she heard that.”

  “I know, I know, I didn’t mean it that way. I meant more like…”

  “I mean, Crystal went to college. The cheerleading thing is temporary, you know. She’s studying physics, she studies mathematics in her spare time…”

  “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

  “Well, it sounds like you were saying…”

  “Look here’s what I MEANT. Okay, I’m just going to say it because what I said sounds so much worse. I meant, I always figured you’d marry someone…like Amelia.”

  “What?”

  “Well yeah, you know, a girl down to earth. Someone…down there on your physical level…boy, I better stop talking. I keep making it sound much worse.”

  I laughed. “I don’t care, I’m just curious…why Amelia?” My heart was racing at the thought. No matter how I tried to grow up and put silly schoolgirl crushes out of my head, I always felt that flutter in my stomach when Amelia’s name came up. I felt the instinct to deny everything.

  “I don’t know. The way you talked about her. The gleam in your eye. I figured you wanted someone to be friends with. Not some movie star or cheerleader…I mean any guy can get that. Girls that are all about looks are easy. That’s all I’m saying. I know, I’m making it sound much worse. Let’s just watch the game, shall we?”

  Jake’s comment, while off the cuff, struck me as profound. I always imagined Crystal as the top of the mountain, someone that a guy like me had to try really hard to win. She was the cheerleader, physically perfect beauty that only rich and powerful men could get. The rest of my life would be devoted to keeping her satisfied, the goddess, thegreat beauty among all other women. So when Jake implied that she was beneath me somehow, it took me a while to get my head around the idea.

  “Well…” I said cautiously. “We don’t really fall in love with our friends.” By now I was lying. I felt guilty about my amorous feelings for Amelia and now wanted to hide them at all costs. It was like I was back in school again and blushing because of someone’s taunting me, “David and Amelia sitting on a tree…”

  But Jake wasn’t taunting me…he was just stating an observation. I couldn’t really take offense to someone speaking the uncomfortable truth.

  “No, most guys don’t fall in love with their friends,” Jake said. “But you, I kinda figured you would. You seemed like the kind of guy who would marry his high school sweetheart. Now see, someone like me? I don’t want to marry my best friend. It’s too weird for me. But you, David, you’re a weird guy.”

  I laughed. “All right Jake, that’s enough pep talk for a while.”

  “No seriously, here’s what you do.”

  “Do what about what?”

  “Just hear me out. Okay, my gut tells me that you still have feelings for Amelia.”

  I took a gulp and shook my head. I was definitely not fooling Jake.

  “So here’s what you do. Go sleep with Amelia and then decide if you still like Crystal or if there’s some much greener grass waiting for you on the other side.”

  “What? That’s terrible advice! I’m not going to have a one night stand with Amelia and risk losing our friendship.”

  “Hmmm,” Jake said with a grin. “Interesting that your first instinct was to avoid hurting Amelia and not Crystal.”

  “
Well, both.”

  “Right but you thought of one before the other.”

  I opened my mouth, losing my thought in mid-sentence.

  Damn he was right. I fought off my blush, which gave me away and made up some bullshit excuse about how that wasn’t true. But damn it, it was true.

  Even if I wasn’t going to cheat, my mind was still putting more value on Amelia’s friendship than Crystal’s heart. What could that mean?

  Was it possible that I loved Amelia more than Crystal? Or was Amelia just more important to me than my future wife? This didn’t feel right, any of it. I had to fix this. I had to do the right thing.

  And the right thing was, is, and has always been…

  Get over Amelia and marry the girl who loves you.

  Chapter 4: Amelia

  “Amelia, dear, hand me that box,” mother said to me, pointing out the Earl Grey tea inside the cupboard.

  She always enjoys it in the afternoon, decaffeinated of course, since she doesn’t like to get riled up at night. Now in her fifties, she still moves with the same spunk that she had thirty years ago. The difference now is that she talks like a woman who is content with life…not expecting anything, or wishing for anything that can’t come true. Her voice is graceful, a little overbearing, as always, and always with a sophisticated way of speaking. I can only wonder if I’ll sound the same in another twenty years—having loved, lost and found redemption in this crazy game called life.

  “Thank you,” she said, taking a few bags out and creating the perfect cup of tea. Always dark and bitter, no sugar or cream, just like life! Mother always was austere, even when she was younger.

  I went over to her house to help her move some furniture and we decided to make some tea. While chilling out on the couch, she carefully ventured into the territory that mothers always love to encroach upon.

  “How’s work? Are you still doing the jewelry making?”