Live-In Position

by V. S. Tice

  “Oh my god, Collin. Are you rushing this wedding because you impregnated your nanny?” Felicity gasped, and I buried my face in my hands. Ilene couldn’t let it go. “Is that why you entered into this relationship?”

  “Mother,” Collin was battling between control and anger. “I’m marrying Sophia because she is the best thing, besides Victoria, to come into my life. I’m marrying Sophia because I love her.”

  “You didn’t answer me about being pregnant.” She sounded as snotty as always.

  “It’s none of your—”

  “Yes,” I pulled my hands away from my face and turned to Ilene, challenging her to say anything else. Her stiff posture slackened under my stare.

  “I’m pregnant, and we are moving the wedding up so that I won’t have to hire Omar the Tentmaker to make the gown.”

  Felicity snorted a laugh but quickly quieted. I glanced at Collin and found amusement on his face as well.

  “Oh, well,” Ilene seemed lost for words.

  “If you refer to me as an employee in this house one more time, I assure you, I’ll have no problem keeping you from entering through the front door again.” I inhaled and exhaled loudly before turning back to Felicity and the wedding plans.

  “Where were we?” I forced a smile.

  Collin’s hand slid over my shoulder. Looking up at him, he leaned down and kissed me.

  “I love when you get all assertive,” he whispered against my lips.

  My wide eyes glanced to Felicity who was pretending she hadn’t heard what he said. Ilene sat speechless at my back.

  Two days later, plain but elegant wedding invitations were delivered to family and friends. In two weeks Collin and I would be getting married at the beach house in Whidbey Island. Ilene had a cleaning company on the property making sure every corner of the house was sparkling clean; Juliet was working on changing the décor.

  An amicable relationship had formed between the two women. I wasn’t sure how it had happened until Allison filled me in. She told me about Ilene’s new, extremely wealthy boyfriend. Maybe “man-friend” was a more appropriate term for a sixty-something year old woman.

  Connor was apparently a thing of the past where Ilene’s attentions were concerned. I suppose it was for the best, given the fact that Connor and Juliet now lived together on Whidbey Island in Juliet’s house.

  I was in the dining room with Larissa, Allison, and Ilene. Wedding magazines, designer sketches, and laptops sat before me on the table. All for a dress—a dress I asked Larissa to help me find. It had quickly become a massive search for the “perfect dress.” I pushed my laptop away and rubbed my eyes.

  “Can’t we just go into town and visit a dress shop?”

  The room went silent. I looked up at three pairs of eyes staring at me as if I had suggested sacrificing my first born to the moon harvest.

  “What?”

  “Off the rack?” Allison cringed.

  “Don’t you want the dress of your dreams?” Larissa questioned.

  “We’re not going to some retail bridal store,” Ilene shook her head in disgust. “You are marrying my son and you deserve to have a beautiful gown.”

  “But I don’t want a huge gown,” I moaned. “Honestly, a simple white dress that will camouflage my midsection is all I am looking for.”

  “You won’t be showing in two weeks,” Ilene informed me.

  “I know, but still, I just want something simple and comfortable.” I let my fingers skim over the keys of my laptop as I spoke. “Like this,” I spun the laptop around.

  They all looked the dress over in silence. Allison creased her forehead for just a moment before her eyes lit up.

  “That could work!” Ilene snapped her head at Allison’s outburst. “We can use that dress as a starting point.” She began flipping back through magazines looking for a replica. I huffed and stood up.

  “I’m going to the bridal place in town.” I walked away without looking back.

  “I’m sorry.” I heard Larissa’s voice following me. “This is your dress and your day.” She smiled. “I’ll come with you.”

  “Let me grab Victoria.”

  When I stepped out of the house with a beaming Victoria at my side, I noticed the car was filled. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that everyone had decided to join me, but I went with it.

  Entering the shop, Allison didn’t even try to hide her disdain for the racks of bridal gowns. Victoria ran straight to the flower girl dresses. Ilene took a seat in a puffy pink chair, looking around the place with curiosity.

  “This is nice.” Larissa held out a strapless dress with a full skirt.

  “Yes, it is.” I eyed it. “Hmm…” I looked around the room, slightly overwhelmed. “Maybe we should’ve done this from the house.” I looked back at Larissa.

  “It will be fine.” She hung the dress back up and put her arm around me.

  A saleswoman approached. “Are we looking for anything in particular?”

  “Yes. Something designer with an empire waist, the cost is not a problem.” Allison stepped forward. “Oh, and don’t push us onto these dresses. What have you got in the back?”

  Intimidation spread over the woman’s face. With a large swallow and a deep breath she found her voice.

  “Of course, please give me a moment,” she began to walk toward an open door. “Was there a color preference?”

  Allison looked at me. I shook my head. “No,” she responded to the saleswoman.

  “Let’s sit.” Larissa hooked her arm in mine and we took a seat next to Ilene.

  The saleswoman emerged with some extra help. Two clerks had their arms filled with garment bags. One by one, they showed us dress after dress. There were thirteen in all but only three I wanted to try on. While they set up the dressing room for me, we watched Victoria model dresses she liked.

  “What about this one?” Victoria spun in a fluffy dress with a white top and yellow tulle bottom. Victoria would be gorgeous in anything, but this dress was hideous.

  “How about you try something less formal?” I suggested, and she ran back to try on another dress.

  It didn’t take her long to come back out in a spaghetti-strapped, light green, satin dress. There was a large silk flower on the hip. It was extremely cute on her, but Allison nixed that one because it “wouldn’t go with the bridal dress.” I wanted to object, but Victoria ran off to change again.

  The moment she stepped out in the final dress we all sighed at the sight of her. The dress was simple, sleeveless, cream-colored with six rows of flowing ruffles. A wide light green band wrapped around the empire waist and a large silk flower decorated the back. She looked as if she had just stepped out of a fairy tale with her curly red hair framing her porcelain skin.

  “That’s the one,” I confidently said with a large grin.

  She twirled four more times to watch the ruffles flow around her before skipping back to the dressing room. While she changed, I was escorted back to a large room with two attendants.

  The moment they zipped up the first dress, I didn’t like it. The material felt rough and uncomfortable. I walked out anyway to get their feedback.

  Allison cringed up her nose, Ilene simply stated “no,” and Larissa told me to try on the next one. Victoria was the only voice of praise.

  “It’s so pretty.” Her eyes glistened with excitement. “You look so pretty.”

  “Thank you,” I winked at her and went back for the next dress.

  The second dress was the complete opposite. The moment it was on me, I knew it was the one. It felt perfect. Excitement began to mix with my nervousness. I stepped out to my four critics and thankfully each face reflected my feelings precisely.

  “It’s perfect.” Larissa stood and walked around me.

  “I would never have guessed they would have something like this here.” Allison reached out for the dress and touched the fabric.

  “You look like a princess!” Victoria bounced in her seat.

  “
It’s lovely,” Ilene added.

  “Should I try on the other?”

  “No,” they all said in unison and then started laughing.

  “Okay, okay, jeesh,” I giggled. Then I looked at the price tag.

  “Seven thousand dollars!” I started shaking my head. “I’m not paying that much for this dress. I’ll only wear it once.”

  “That’s nothing.” Allison waved it off. “My dress was handmade in Italy. It cost seventy-five thousand.”

  “Mine was fifty,” Larissa added.

  “You paid what?” I choked. “No, there is no way I’m—”

  “Do you love this dress?” Ilene stood and looked at me.

  “I did,” I snorted and looked at the tag again.

  “Don’t make me call Collin,” Allison threatened and pulled out her phone.

  “What?” My eyes widened.

  “You and I both know he will simply come and buy it himself if you don’t. So what will it be? Let him buy it or let him be surprised when he sees you in it for the first time?” She started typing on her blackberry. “All I have to do is hit the send button,” she warned.

  “I won’t let him buy it,” I argued.

  “Such a shame that he’ll see it before the wedding,” she sighed. Larissa giggled and quickly covered her mouth.

  “Daddy isn’t supposed to see the dress!” Victoria looked at me with worried eyes.

  “When did you become a wedding expert?”

  “Please, Mommy,” she begged.

  As usual, I melted. “Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll get it.”

  “Good, now let them take the measurements for the alterations, and I will go pay for it.” Ilene started to walk away.

  “What? No, Ilene, I’ll pay for—”

  “I am taking care of your dress.” The look on her face said she meant business so I let it be.

  Victoria was disappointed when she found out we had to leave the dresses for alterations. I knew she would cheer up once Collin and I told her about the sibling she would be getting. We wanted to tell her before my first doctor’s appointment, which was scheduled for the following day.

  Collin arrived home later than we had planned so instead of telling her over dinner, we had to break the news right before she went to bed. I worried she wouldn’t be able to sleep after she knew about the baby.

  “Victoria?” Collin stepped into her room while I brushed her hair.

  “Daddy!” She ran out from between my legs and into his arms. He lifted her and kissed her cheek. Setting her down, she made her way back between my knees. I began to braid her damp locks.

  “There is something that Soph…your mother and I would like to talk to you about.” Our eyes met and I smiled small at him. His smile grew larger.

  “What?” Victoria twisted her head and looked at my face.

  The wet hair of her braid slipped through my fingers before I could secure it with the tie. I grasped her shoulders lightly, and turned her back to Collin, quickly grabbing her hair and securing the plait at the middle of her back.

  “Tomorrow we’ll be going to see a doctor,” I started.

  Victoria groaned. “I don’t want to go.”

  “Not for you, for Sophia,” Collin clarified, and Victoria turned her whole body to look at me.

  “Are you sick? Are you okay?” Worry lined her face and filled her eyes.

  “I’m fine. The doctor just wants to check on the baby.” I bit my lip, waiting for her reaction.

  “Oh,” she paused and then her wide eyes looked back and forth between Collin and me. “You,” she pointed to my stomach, “you’re having a baby?” I nodded and her whole body began to shake with excitement. “I’m getting a baby sister?” She bounced enthusiastically.

  “Well, we can’t guarantee it’s a girl, but you’re getting a sibling.” Collin moved to sit on the bed next to me.

  “It’s a girl, I know it!” She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed.

  “Eventually, we’ll find out for sure.” I squeezed her back.

  She dropped her head down to my stomach and pressed the side of her face to it. “I don’t hear anything.” She looked up at me.

  “It will take a while before we’re able to feel the baby.” I rubbed her head and Collin wrapped his arm around me.

  “Like Grace?” she blurted out.

  Her disdain for Grace had only increased as she once again seemed to have abandoned Victoria. We had heard nothing from her in weeks.

  “Um, yeah, like that. Once the baby grows larger you’ll be able to feel kicking and movement.”

  “Can the baby hear me?” She looked between both of us awaiting a response.

  “The baby is really tiny right now. But he or she will be able to hear you in just a few months.” Collin tapped her nose with his long finger.

  “Do I get to miss school?” She wiggled her eyebrows at us.

  “No, and you still need to get to bed. I will get you out early so you can come with us.”

  “Fine,” she began to climb into her bed, “but only because I get a baby sister.” She slid under her covers as Collin and I stood up.

  “I can’t guarantee a sister.” She ignored my warning.

  “It’s a girl. I already told you.” Her grin was infectious and we found ourselves grinning with her.

  After kissing and tucking her in, I left Collin to read to her. I was beat and really needed to pee.

  Once relieved, I ran the hot water and left it to fill the tub while I went to the dresser to grab my pajamas. During my digging for something comfortable, I heard the ring of a cell phone. Looking around, I saw Collin’s phone vibrating across the small coffee table. By the time I reached it, the call had gone to voicemail. The name of the missed call was unfamiliar so I shrugged it off and headed for the luxurious bath awaiting me.

  With the jets on low, the warmth of the tub was easing away the tensions of the day. I was about to fall asleep when Collin’s voice broke me from my jacuzzi-induced meditative state.

  “So, you‘ve had no luck at all?” His voice was stern and frustrated. “I understand, but you still haven’t been able to find her, just a trail?”

  There was a long pause, and for a moment I wondered if he had left the room.

  “No, I understand. Did he say if he knew anything?” He sighed heavily. “Fine, yes, keep me posted...Thank you, good night.”

  Collin walked into the bathroom, setting his phone next to the sink before taking a seat on the edge of the bathtub. His face was lined with concern and I didn’t know if I should question him or not. I opened my mouth but closed it when he began to speak.

  “There’s still no sign of Grace.” His brow creased. “The investigator has been tracking her but has only been able to find a trail of where she’s been.”

  “So we at least know she’s okay?” I sat up.

  “Those who have seen her have stated she was fine. They told the investigator where Grace said she was going, but it always turns into a dead end.” He rubbed his face roughly. “I don’t understand. Why would she go through all this trouble to get Victoria if she was just going to disappear? And what about the baby?”

  His concern for Grace and her newborn was commendable, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never understood her.” It was the truth and the only thing I could say that wouldn’t sound harsh.

  “Of course you don’t,” he quipped. I stiffened for a moment at the words and the tone used to deliver them. He turned and looked down at me. “You’re different than her, better.” Slipping from the side of the tub onto his knees, he leaned over the edge and pressed his lips to mine.

  “You are far more than she could ever hope to be.” The words fell from his lips as he pulled back from the kiss.

  His words ignited me. Quickly grabbing the back of his head, I pulled his mouth to mine. A groan left his mouth. I swallowed it.

  THE NEXT MORNING, while Victoria finished eating br
eakfast and I packed her lunch, Collin sat two chairs away from her talking to his lawyer about Grace. Victoria started to pay a little too much attention to his phone call so I rushed her out the door to the car.

  “Did Grace go away?” Victoria’s words were whispered down to her lap. My head shot up and looked at her in the rearview mirror.

  “Um,” I hesitated, not sure what to say. I tried to keep focused on the road in front of me.

  “She left again, didn’t she?” There was a small sniff.

  I quickly pulled over and climbed from the car. Victoria’s surprised eyes watched me from the rear window when I opened her door and took her into my arms.

  “We don’t know where she went or why,” I answered honestly. “I’m sure she will be back.”

  “She never wanted me,” Victoria sniffed. I looked into her face.

  “Who told you that?” Grabbing her chin in my hand, I pulled her face up to look at me. “Who, Victoria?”

  “I overheard her say it,” she whimpered. My heart broke and a sob formed a lump in my throat.

  “Oh baby,” I held her tightly.

  “She was talking to the babysitter about how she only got pregnant so she could marry Daddy,” she choked out. “I was never wanted.”

  “Shh, baby, you are wanted.” I ran my hand over her back in a small attempt to soothe.

  “Not until you,” she sniffed.

  “Victoria,” I pulled back again to look into her face, “your father wanted you.” She opened her mouth to protest. “Honey, he was lost and hurt because of your mother leaving like she did, but—”

  “Grace,” she cut me off.

  “Yes, with Grace leaving, but he wanted you. Trust me, he did and still does. I know he didn’t do enough to make you see it or feel it. I’m so sorry for that.” I hugged her again.

  “You‘ve always wanted me.” She nuzzled her face into my shoulder. “That’s why you’re my mommy.” We kept our arms around each other.