Live-In Position

by V. S. Tice

  My father was home that evening. For old time’s sake, I challenged him to a game of poker. We used to play cards on his boat, during the winter months, and especially on holidays when we were home all day together.

  With two bags of chips and large glasses of soda, it was on. Carla laughed at our banter throughout the different hands we played. Eventually, I had her sit with me so I could teach her how to play and beat my dad.

  That night I went to bed full of sweet and salty treats. I awoke in the morning with an intense urge to pee. I actually considered squatting over the garbage can in the bedroom because it was closer. Yet another issue – I was retaining water. The engagement ring Collin had given me was so tight I thought my finger would turn purple. I finally got it off when I entered the kitchen. I sighed in relief.

  “You really should pick up a baby book and start reading,” Carla laughed. “You would know not to eat so much salty food.” She shook her head and placed a plate of eggs and toast on the table.

  “You’re probably right,” I agreed, knowing that, in fact, salt wasn’t the cause. I set the ring down on the table. She picked it up and whistled. “It’s probably a sign I should give it back.” My bad joke didn’t make Carla smile. Instead she scowled at me.

  “Don’t go making drastic decisions without talking to the man first,” she quipped and carefully laid the ring on the table. “Here,” she took a gold chain from her neck and slipped the ring onto it. “This way you won’t lose it, and you won’t cut off the circulation to your finger. Drink a lot of water to get the swelling down.” She handed the necklace to me.

  “Thanks,” I spoke around a mouthful of eggs. “I’ll give it back once I can fit the ring back on.” I slipped the necklace over my head.

  “I trust you.” She winked at me and turned back to the stove.

  After showering and getting dressed, I drove around town in my dad’s truck, stopping here and there, reminiscing about my childhood. It wasn’t long before I found myself at the docks again. I was aimlessly walking around when a rope hit me in the head.

  “What the—”

  “I’m so sorry,” a deep, husky voice called out. “I didn’t realize anyone was out there.”

  Over the side of a large docked sailboat came a dark-haired man. His smile was bright and infectious. I had to smile back.

  “It’s alright.” I rubbed my head, and I started to walk away.

  “You really shouldn’t walk the docs in this weather. You could fall in.” He hopped down from the boat and stepped toward me.

  “I-I’ll be fine.” The large man’s fast approach began to make me nervous. He was so tall, I barely reached his shoulder. When he stopped, with a decent amount of steps between us, I relaxed.

  “Honestly, the water freezes easily on these boards, so be careful.” He smiled again.

  “I will. Thanks.” I continued to walk away.

  When I slipped a little on a patch of ice, my face flushed red in embarrassment. I turned around and found him chuckling at me.

  “Okay, so it’s not so safe,” I stated as I walked past the fisherman. We were both laughing when I took the last step off the dock. Someone clearing his throat grabbed my attention. My smile fell from my face.

  “Sophia,” Collin spoke. I took in his frazzled and disheveled appearance.

  “Collin,” I tried to speak, but only air came out.

  He took a step forward, testing my reaction. When I stayed in my spot, he closed the distance and wrapped me in his arms. The embrace felt so good. I must have missed him more than I realized. I put my arms around him in return.

  “I’ve missed you so much.” He squeezed harder.

  “Collin,” I gasped, “hard to breathe.”

  He pulled away. “I apologize.” He took my hands in his and rubbed his thumb over my fingers. He paused, dropping his eyes to my hand. “You aren’t wearing your ring?” The words were choked in sadness and anger. Before I could respond, he reacted. “I guess you’ve made your decision.” He brought his head up and looked over my shoulder. I glanced behind me and saw the man working on his boat. Turning back to Collin, I could easily read his assumption.

  “Are you kidding me?” I was taken aback by his insinuation.

  “I can only assume. You left and haven’t come back.” The muscles of his jaw were tight. It was clear he was fighting for control.

  “Yes, I left, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t coming back. I needed time to think.” Tears formed in my eyes.

  “And since you’re not wearing your ring, I’m guessing you‘ve made some decisions,” he said angrily as a single tear escaped his eye. I pulled my hands from his.

  “Yes, I have,” I quipped and stomped around him toward my dad’s truck.

  “Sophia,” his tone was warning. I spun around and jumped with how close he was behind me. “Don’t just walk away. Please. Where is your ring?” A sea of rage and sadness mingled in his eyes.

  I yanked the gold chain out from under my shirt. His eyes focused in on the ring.

  “It’s right here.”

  “But why—?”

  “Because my hands are swollen, Collin.” Before he could get another word or question out, I finished. “It’s something that happens to a pregnant woman.” I turned back to the truck, climbed in, and revved the engine.

  Punching the gas pedal, I sped out of the parking area. Gravel sprayed from under my tires and I could hear small clinks against metal. I hope I hit his car! As I pulled up to my father’s house, I tried to wipe away the tear streaks from my face.

  “Mommy!” Victoria’s voice made my stomach flip and warm tingles spread through my body. We ran toward each other and I scooped her up in my arms. “Mommy, why are you crying?”

  I set her back on her feet and smiled down to her, “Because I’m so happy to see you.” I kissed the top of her head.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she wrapped her arms around my legs. My anger and frustration with Collin melted away.

  We heard the sound of tires screeching to a stop behind us. Collin’s movements were fast as he emerged from the car, slamming the door, and approaching our reunion. My muscles tensed and my back straightened.

  “Sophia?” The regretful sound of his voice caused my muscles to loosen. “I’m sorry.” He stood a couple of inches from me. “I just, I thought you were leaving us for good and—”

  “You’re leaving us?” Victoria gasped.

  “No, of course not,” I reassured her with another kiss to her head.

  “Are you coming home?” she pressed further.

  “Of course I am.” I cupped her face.

  “Is it true?” Collin’s voice broke the smile Victoria and I were sharing. We glanced to his distraught face. I turned back to Victoria.

  “Victoria, why don’t you get inside before you freeze?”

  “Will you be in soon?”

  “Yes.” I smiled as she ran through the door. Once it was closed, I turned back to Collin, who had stepped closer to me.

  “Can you watch what you say in front of her? Try thinking of someone besides yourself!”

  “Is it true?” His eyes searched my face. I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Yes, I’m pregnant, but that doesn’t mean—”

  “No,” he shook his head, “you’re not leaving us. You’re coming back?” His eyes softened.

  “Of course I’m coming back.” I dropped my arms. “Collin, I love you and Victoria. I just needed to breathe, get some space, and figure out how to handle this rift between us.”

  He didn’t say a word. Before I could say anything else, we were wrapped in an embrace. His lips pressed against the side of my head, over my cheek, until his path stopped on my lips. Pulling back, he pressed his forehead to mine.

  “We’re having a baby?” I nodded. He kissed me again, only this time it was deeper.

  Before I could get carried away in the passion mounting between us, I pulled back and looked into his face.
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  “I’m coming home, but I don’t think we should get married.”

  His smile dropped. “But…so you don’t want to marry me?”

  I sighed. “Collin, we can’t agree to marry until we work everything out between us.”

  “But we’re having a baby. We are getting married. Sophia, I want to be married before the child comes. I want you to be my wife when this child,” his hand splayed across my stomach, “comes into the world.”

  Covering his hand with both of mine, I smiled. “I want my book career, and that means traveling. I won’t fight with you every time I need to be away.”

  “It’s solved then,” he shrugged with a smirk.

  I pursed my lips at him in disbelief. “Just because you say that, doesn’t make it true.”

  “Sophia, I don’t ever want to treat you or Victoria the way I did in New York. I love you too much to lose you the way I did.” Tears slipped over his cheeks.

  “You didn’t lose me.”

  He shook his head.

  “Yes, I did. You ran home to get away from me.” I opened my mouth but he stopped me. “I get it and have realized the difference. This time when you left, there was really a chance you wouldn’t come back. It was so different from the traveling. I’ve been a fool, an idiot.”

  “That still doesn’t solve my traveling and your insecurity about it.”

  “I’ll just come with you.”

  “And when you can’t? When we have to be apart, then what?”

  He sighed heavily. “I may be a grouch about it, but I will have to learn to deal with it. Like I told you, I now know what it’s like for you to leave with the uncertainty of your return.”

  “I was coming back.” I cupped his face and wiped away the leftover tears.

  “But I didn’t think you were. This was different. It was devastating.”

  I kissed him. I kissed him with all the reassurance I could produce. It would take time and a bit more talking, but we would overcome this hurdle.

  Two days later, we were back in Seattle. Before we left Tacoma, Collin agreed we needed to sit and talk about everything when we got home. Things were better, but there was still so much to figure out. Victoria was staying with Larissa so Collin and I could settle things.

  My hormones were raging more and more with each passing day, and his intense good looks didn’t help the matter. When Collin walked in for dinner in a simple ensemble of jeans and an old gray college t-shirt, I had to bite back the desire firing up inside of me. It wasn’t until the middle of dinner that our discussion finally moved beyond pleasantries and social discussion.

  “So you still feel we shouldn’t get married.” He hadn’t really asked as a question, but I knew it was.

  “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” I sat back into the lacquered mahogany chair and met his gaze.

  “I want to marry you. Please, Sophia, think of our child.”

  “That’s one of the many things I am thinking of,” I countered.

  He sighed. “We‘ve already discussed your traveling. I will have to work at it, but I know it will get much better with time.” He leaned his elbows onto the dinner table.

  “What about your control issues?” I raised one eyebrow at him.

  “I don’t try to control you,” he protested.

  “Oh?” I gave a half grin and a shake of my head, “Remember my Jeep, or when you moved my room, or practically forbidding me to travel?”

  “All of that is in the past.” He waved it off and leaned back.

  “You don’t think that demanding things from me or getting furious when I make a decision isn’t controlling? Do you even realize how much it hurt to have you throw in my face that I’m not Victoria’s mother?”

  He grimaced at my words.

  “It crushed me, and it hurt her too. You got angry and threw it in my face because you didn’t have control of the situation. Then there was the night we were arguing in the kitchen and you brushed me off like a child, until I wasn’t so ‘defensive.’ If I dismissed you like that, you would lose it.”

  His head dropped and his eyes closed.

  “I’ve never had to be any other way.” He barely said the words loud enough for me to hear. “But,” his eyes came up and met mine, “I want to change for you.”

  When he pushed back from the table I sat up straighter. In the next moment he was on his knees in front of me. I pressed my back into the chair.

  “I know how much you‘ve compromised to be with me, how much you‘ve endured with amazing poise.” He smiled sweetly. “It’s my turn to do that for you. I love you, Sophia Ashwood. Please, please do me the honor of becoming Sophia Bishop?”

  The smell of his shaving cream wafted into my nostrils and made my body tingle. His hands on my knees were sending hot waves between my legs. As I tried to focus and respond to him, my imagination ran wild with thoughts of him and me on the dining room table.

  “I…you…” My mind was spinning, and my heart was melting to a mushy pile of goo, telling my head to shut it. “There is still so…I don’t want to be a fat bride,” I blurted out.

  “Is that a yes?” His crooked smile was the last straw.

  Nodding, I leaned down and captured his mouth with mine. His hands slid over my thighs to my hips. He pulled me to the edge of the chair, breaking our kiss. The warmth of his lips lingered on my skin as he trailed a path down my chest and over my collarbone.

  “That’s how I should have proposed to you,” he mumbled against my skin.

  I fisted the hair at the back of his neck and pressed my open mouth to his. We kissed passionately as our hands roamed each other’s body. The dining room table was put to good use, just as I’d imagined.

  Collin sat naked on a dining room chair while I snuggled against his chest, straddling his lap. Our breathing had calmed, but the chaos of our tossed clothing still littered the floor. I pressed my lips to his chest muscle and hummed in contentment.

  “You don’t want to be a fat bride, huh?” His chest shook with his silent laughter.

  “Why would I want to put on a wedding dress with a stomach the size of a globe?” I brought my head up from his chest.

  “But you aren’t opposed to marrying me?”

  I shrugged, and he tickled my sides. “I guess not.”

  “Marry me in two weeks?” The longing and excitement mixed in his emerald eyes was endearing.

  “You’re insane.” I pushed from his lap to get dressed, but he pulled me back down.

  “I’m serious. If I can arrange it, will you do it?” His eyes searched my face.

  “No,” I shook my head.

  “Why?” his brow furrowed.

  “It’s too soon. We just talked everything over and—”

  “Do you want to leave me?”

  “Of course not, but—”

  “Do you believe I won’t change?”

  “I, uh, I don’t know.” I dropped my face.

  “Answer me.” His soft words were matched by the softness of his touch. He brought my face back up to look at him.

  “Yes, I’m worried… I’m worried you won’t be able to keep your promises and you will get angry if I don’t do everything your way.” The honesty poured from my lips like smooth malt liquor.

  “There is nothing I could want more than to be with you. Do you know that?”

  I bit my lip and nodded.

  “Okay, then marry me.”

  “Collin,” I groaned and attempted to get up again.

  “Sophia,” he imitated me. I smacked his chest playfully. He grabbed my hands and held them to his chest. “I love you and will never risk losing you again. Marry me?”

  I thought for a few seconds and then gave in, “Okay.”

  Our lips met. The thrill of my answer spurred a growing intensity into our kiss. It didn’t take long for my body to react to him, but instead of the table, this time we didn’t leave the antique dining chair.

  With my head once again on his chest and our br
eathing labored, a small twinge of worry crept into my stomach. Did I really just agree to marry him in two weeks?

  Chapter Thirty

  -EIGHT

  THE VERY NEXT morning, Collin was on his cell phone making wedding arrangements. After I returned from picking Victoria up from Larissa and Max’s house, he motioned for me to go into the dining room.

  Ilene and Felicity Dane were bent over the table, going through magazines, catalogues, binders, samples of materials—everything wedding-related under the moon. Felicity smiled widely and stood to greet me, but before she could speak, Ilene cut her off.

  “I’m so glad you’re back.” She moved quickly to my side and set me down between her and Felicity. “We have so much to do.”

  “Wait, what?” I shook my head and looked between the two of them.

  “Mr. Bishop called me this morning to assist with the change in wedding plans,” Felicity explained gently.

  “He did?” I was a little bothered but mostly impressed that he was so involved.

  “Yes,” Felicity patted my hand.

  “I don’t know why you two are in such a rush to have this wedding. What we had planned was perfection. Now we’ll have to make do.” Ilene waved her hand around. I bit back a smile until she spoke again. “It’s not as if you have to get married because you’re pregnant or something.”

  I gasped and snapped my head toward Ilene. It wasn’t the best reaction, and I immediately regretted it.

  “Are you?” she gasped.

  “Is she what?” Collin stepped into the room.