Wastes of Space

by Darcy Town

  She opened her eyes. “Hi.”

  Rake took her hand. “I took you to my family. They’re getting a doctor.”

  “Your family?” Ravil smiled weakly. “They must be interesting.”

  He smiled. “Can be. I’ll be back in just a little bit okay?” He caught her alarmed expression. “I’m not leaving you behind.” He got up. “Just rest, I’m going to take care of you now.” He waited for her to close her eyes. He left the room and sat on the top step of the stairs on his level. He leaned on the wooden banister and stared through the bars at the floor below.

  Danny padded up with two beers in hand. He passed one to Rake. “You look like hell.”

  “Thanks.” Rake popped the bottle cap off. “You look old.”

  Danny smiled, forming wrinkles across his tan face. “Forty-seventh birthday last week.”

  Rake glanced back at his old room. “Hurrah for you.”

  “You coming by is a nice enough birthday present.”

  Rake stared at his feet. “I know what a problem I’m causing by being here, so thank you for letting me inside.”

  “Rake, shut up.” Danny glanced over at him. “They’ve come by twice already looking for you. We let them in once to check and they left satisfied.”

  Rake looked up. “Why?”

  “So that they would go away.”

  Rake looked downstairs towards the wide, curtained windows. “Are they watching the place?”

  Danny nodded. “Probably.”

  Rake jumped to his feet. “Then I’ll leave right now.”

  Danny grabbed Rake’s arm and forced him to sit down. “You are not in America, Rake. They can’t take you just because they want you.”

  Rake sulked. “They will raise hell for you if they find me here.”

  Danny grinned. “Good, I could use some. I’m bored stiff running this flat.”

  Rake smirked. “Fixing cars for the rich not doing it for you anymore?”

  “That? I haven’t had to do that in half a year, I own the entire building outright.” Danny finished his beer. “But you know what? Running a goddamn apartment full of former space cadets is not as engaging as running a squad of you children in space. This is just tedious.”

  Rake laughed. “Retirement not working out the way you planned?”

  Danny eyed him. “Retiring to my ranch in Texas, Rake. That was the plan, not squatting in Bangkok and laying low because you bastards have the sensibilities of toddlers and a warrant list from the American government that stretches for yards.”

  Rake looked towards Ravil’s door. “They have a warrant out for her too I think.”

  Danny sighed. “One more to add to the list. Mica didn’t say the Empire wanted her. What do they want a child for? Do I even want to know?”

  Rake shrugged. “Does it really matter?”

  “No.” Danny got to his feet. “It doesn’t. If they want her, she’s free to hide out here, same as you.” He stared at the front door. “If anyone comes here for her, they can expect a shotgun to their face.”

  Bass shook the walls. Rake raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is that?”

  “Ravers took the next building over, party house all night, every night, dancing, drugs, and sex. Besides the noise though, they’re decent enough neighbors.” He took a step towards the door and stopped. “Rake, Mica said you’re still—”

  Rake shrugged off his jacket and showed Danny his arm. Danny clenched his jaw. “Jesus Christ, Rake.”

  “Yeah.” Rake stared at his arm. He pulled two syringes out of his pocket.

  Danny’s voice dropped into a hiss, “Get that shit out of my home! That’s an order!”

  Rake set the needles on the stairs and stomped on both. He stared at the broken syringes in shock at what he’d done. He jumped up and smashed his feet down. He crushed the pieces of glass and metal into the wood. He slammed his hand down on the banister. “I’m done.”

  Ravil woke from her sleep and called out, “Rake, are you okay?”

  Rake stared at her door. “I’m fine, just fine, Ravil!” He dropped his gaze to the steps, he looked from his feet to Danny. “Shit. What am I doing?”

  Danny squatted on the stairs and looked up at him. “Rake, are you quitting?”

  “I have to. I have to be here for her.” His voice dropped to a whisper, “I can’t do this stuff anymore. She needs me.”

  “How much time do you have before you start to feel it?”

  Rake made a face. “Hours.” He got up. “Does your shower still work?”

  Danny sighed. “Yes Rake, of course it does.”

  “I’ll be quick. I want to talk to Keto when he gets here.”

  Danny nodded. “I’ll keep watch on the girl. Go do what you need to.”

  Rake grabbed his leather jacket and ran up the next flight of stairs to the third floor. He ducked into Danny’s master bedroom. He turned on the light and looked around. The place was immaculate and laid out the same as Danny’s officer’s quarters had been in Texas: overloaded bookcases, a sparse desk, and lots of pictures. Rake got déjà vu, shivered, and crossed the room to the bathroom.

  His eye caught on a group picture hanging on the wall by the bathroom door. Rake squinted. In it, he had on a party hat; it was his twenty-first birthday party. He had his arms around Oro and Katarina, the rest were there except for Danny, the photographer. He touched his face in the photograph. He’d still been flying then. His eyes drifted to the other pictures on the wall, more of their squad, back when they’d been together, when they’d all still been alive. Grief, never fully out of his mind, rekindled inside him into a blaze.

  Rake tore his gaze from the pictures. He stomped into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He flinched, he looked fucking terrible. His hair was greasy, shaggy, and cut unevenly; his clothes were splattered with mud and blood. He leaned in and looked himself in the eyes. He didn’t recognize what looked back at him. The man he saw was tired, fidgeting, overwrought, underfed, and damaged.

  He stared at his bare chest and stomach. The scratches and bruises there were small testaments to his recent life. He covered the needle marks on his arm, squinted and tried to picture himself as he had been a few years before. He dropped his eyes. He couldn’t make the two match up.

  He stripped and jumped into the shower. He turned the water to cold and leaned his head on the tile. He grabbed the soap and started on his hands and arms. He washed quickly. He had to get this started before the cravings kicked in and he changed his mind. He knew he would change his mind. He would scream, he would fight his decision and anyone trying to enforce it. This was not the first time he had tried to quit, but he wasn’t going to be alone this time. He wasn’t doing this just for himself anymore.

  Rake washed his hair and tried to imagine a life that didn’t revolve around shooting up, but he couldn’t. It hadn’t been that long, just over a year, maybe more, but his memory was cloudy. His thoughts over the past year or two were murky, muddled. Large blank spots took up time. He did not push at them too hard, not wanting to know the things he had done. He could easily imagine.

  Rake was not a sob story. He did not let himself get hooked by someone else. There had been no peer pressure involved. He had woken up on the bed he’d put Ravil on and decided he no longer wanted to live. He’d left this place and wandered into the slums, becoming a ghost to those here. He had become a phantom to himself as well, until there was barely any tethers to his old life, the one he had tried to obliterate through an overdose. He smiled, he’d failed even to kill himself successfully. He punched the tile. “You’re a fucking loser, Rake.”

  He had fucked over his life and he knew it. This was his fault and no one else’s. He stared into the cold water. Now he was going to have to un-fuck it. He rinsed his hair. “Lucky fucking me.”

  He turned the shower off and grabbed a threadbare towel. A small voice in his head whispered words of doubt. Why should he quit? He didn’t really want to. Ravil was safe her
e. She didn’t need him anymore.

  Rake shook his head and spoke out loud, “She tried to kill herself.”

  So?

  “I made her a promise!”

  And? He didn’t really mean it; he should be honest with himself. He was never going to fly again. He was never going to be a pilot. Besides, she’s fine now. She would get better and forget about her stupid dreams. They were just fever dreams after all.

  “Her dreams aren’t stupid.” Rake hissed. He remembered her words and the look on her face. He saw himself in her desire to fly and to fight. He wanted it too. He clenched his jaw and picked up his leather jacket, he wanted her dream.

  But, the voice went on. She didn’t need him to be around. He was bad for her anyways. He should leave, now, as soon as possible. He should leave and find a place to make some more money. He’d need it soon.

  Rake slapped his face and ran out of the bathroom. “Danny!” He jumped down the stairs. “Danny!”

  Danny stepped out of Ravil’s room and tossed Rake some clothes. “Keto’s here, what—”

  Rake dropped his towel and pulled on pants. “Give me something to do, distract me. What does she have, what does she need?”

  “Rake.” Keto stepped out of Ravil’s room, a troubled expression on his face. The African doctor was in his forties and completely bald, but he was built like a linebacker. “How does someone get Chickenpox anymore?” He looked at Rake. “How long has she been sick?”

  “Mid-morning? Maybe afternoon, I wasn’t really in a state of mind to notice.” Rake scuffed his feet on the ground. “I was high.”

  Keto scratched his shiny scalp. “Normally that illness is not a problem, but she’s not taking it well. It’s like her immune system is completely vulnerable.” He tapped his skull. “Though she obviously has other genetic issues, I don’t know.”

  Rake shook his wet hair out. “What the fuck are you saying?”

  Keto sighed. “She is quite ill. She’ll live, but the next few days are going to be very unpleasant for her. There could be life-long repercussions.”

  Rake shivered. He ignored the creeping symptoms of withdrawal. “Don’t you have medicine for her?”

  Keto looked at his bag. “I have things, but nothing strong enough, and she’s going to be in a lot of pain.”

  Rake hissed. “Nothing addictive, Keto.”

  Keto nodded. “Of course not, but that factor also costs money. I need to buy some, Rake. I don’t have the money. I deal in the missions and orphanages. I do not have high-quality medicine.”

  “How much do you need?”

  “As much as one of your syringes costs.”

  Rake looked at the smashed syringes on the stairs and made a face. “I can get you the money in an hour.”

  Danny went rigid. “Rake, don’t.”

  Rake glared at him. “I don’t remember you lecturing Katarina when she went out for a day!”

  Danny grabbed his arm. “Katarina has sense and regulars that she brings here! She does not take to back alleys and street corners.” He scowled. “At least bring them back here, Rake. You’ll be—”

  “No.” Rake slipped on his jacket and looked at Keto. “I’ll be back with the money you need. After that, you and I need to speak.”

  “Danny told me you’re trying to quit.” Keto looked him over. “I have some medicine for that already.”

  Rake nodded. “Good. If she asks, do not tell her what I am doing. Tell her I’m shopping, that I’ll see her once I’ve gotten back.”

  Danny rubbed his temples. “She doesn’t know what you do?”

  “A little, but she’s not going to know the details if I can help it.” He took a deep breath. He took off his necklace and walked into Ravil’s room. He put the pendant around her neck. She stirred and touched the necklace. Rake patted her hand. “Insurance, I’ll be back for it.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Getting you medicine, Bebette. The people here will take care of you. You can trust them. Go back to sleep.” He touched her cheek briefly and then tore out of the room. He nodded to Danny and jumped down to the landing. He threw open the front door. “Solo out.”

  Rake slammed the door behind him. He looked up the street towards the city. He cracked his knuckles, then his neck. “Time to make money.”

  ***

  Keto and Danny stood on the stairs looking at the door Rake shut. Keto shrugged. “Well at least he’s planning on quitting the needles.”

  Danny glared at him. “Is that really what a doctor should be saying?”

  Keto headed towards Ravil’s room. “I can cure STIs, Danny. I can’t cure death from an overdose. One thing at a time, that’s all we can work on.”

  Danny followed Keto. They looked down at the sleeping girl. Keto looked grim. “If she dies this could be bad.”

  Danny sat on the end of the bed. “Why didn’t you tell him how sick she was?”

  Keto frowned. “He would not have left her side if he thought she was going to die. He would have probably got it in his head to kidnap her and take her somewhere else.” He stuck a thermometer in her mouth.

  Danny stared at Ravil’s white face. “If she dies, we are tying him to a bed. I don’t care what he says. He will not leave this goddamn house to commit suicide. He is going to get off that junk to get better.”

  Keto looked at Ravil’s temperature. “Bath now!” He tore her out of the bed and raced up the stairs towards Danny’s room. “Bring my bag!”

  Danny grabbed the thermometer off the floor. “Fucking hell that can’t be right, Keto! She’d be dead at that temperature!”

  Keto jumped in Danny’s shower and turned the water on cold. The spray hit Ravil, her blood red eyes shot open. She screamed incoherently. He held onto her. “You’ll be okay, little one.”

  Danny ran in with a bag of ice. “Do you need ice?”

  “Some. Not too much.” Keto stepped out of the tub and forced Ravil to stay at the bottom. “Dump it in the water. Get more for backup.”

  Danny upended the bag, ignoring Ravil’s shouts. “She can’t be that hot, Keto. Your thermometer is broken.”

  Keto grabbed Danny’s hand and placed it on her forehead.

  Danny pulled his hand back. “Christ! How is she still alive?”

  Ravil thrashed and punched Keto in the nose. “Jungay! Jungay! Jungay!”

  Danny grabbed her wrists. “Stop it!”

  Ravil snapped her teeth at him. “Jungay! Where’s Rake? Rake!”

  Keto pressed her into the water. “Goddamn she’s strong! Girl, stop it! You’re sick and Rake is fine. I am a doctor. We’re just trying to help you!”

  Her eyes narrowed as she took in his appearance. Keto did not have red hair or blue eyes. “Not Jungay, Waster.”

  Keto smiled slightly. “No, not whatever that means.”

  Ravil settled into the ice water. Her eyelids drooped. “Rake?”

  “He’s out, he’ll be back soon.” Danny let her wrists go. Her head dropped to the side as she went unconscious. Both men sighed. Danny stood up. “I’ll get more ice.”

  Keto glared at him. “Leave the red-eyed demon alone with me, how thoughtful of you.”

  Danny smirked. “I am older than you and I have arthritis.”

  “By four years.” Keto turned the shower off and ran a cool bath instead. He stripped off his wet shirt and threw it to the side. He opened his medical bag and pulled out a worn book on children’s medicine. Diseases like the one Ravil had were almost entirely wiped out; he hadn’t seen it mentioned since med school. He held her head above water with one arm and flipped to the viruses section with the other.

  Danny walked in, followed by a tall man in his early thirties. Danny gestured to the floor. “Look who came home in time for the fun.”

  Keto glanced up. “Hello, Czar.”

  Evgeniy set down his bag of ice next to Danny’s. The dark-haired Russian eyed Ravil. “More?”

  Danny nodded. “Please, Czar.” He dumped his bag
in on top of Ravil. He took a seat on the toilet. “It’s really Chickenpox?”

  Keto nodded. He set his book down and lifted Ravil up. He rolled back her t-shirt to show her shoulder. “I noticed she doesn’t have any vaccine tattoos. None Danny, for anything. She’s never had a single shot.”

  Danny leaned over to look. “How is that possible?”

  “I don’t know.” Keto eyed him. “What did Rake say about her?”

  “That she’s wanted by the Empire, that’s it. He was frantic when he brought her here. She was not symptomatic yesterday when Mica saw her.”

  “What did Mica see her for?”

  “Virote wanted her to give as a present. Mica kept it from happening.”

  “Disgusting bastard.” Keto grimaced and turned off the water. “So we have no idea who this kid is, where she’s from, how old, nothing?”

  “Her name is Ravil and Mica said she’s been with Rake a few days.”

  Keto rolled back her eyelids and shined a light in her eyes. He checked her ears, ran his fingers over her skull. He took out his stethoscope and listened to her breathing. He lifted up her shirt and pointed to her hip. “Did you see this?”

  Danny leaned over. “What is it?”

  “A tattoo, I think.” A fine black tattoo marked her white skin on her left hip. It was a line of symbols.

  Danny rubbed at it. “Rake didn’t mention that.”

  “Why would he have? Knowing him, he’s been high half the time they’ve been around each other. That and unless she undressed herself, Rake never would.”

  Danny leaned back. “It looks like a property tattoo, but in Greek or something.”

  Keto nodded. “It’s not like any of the ones I’ve seen on the children in the centers. Why have it there? No one can see it there.”

  “It’s probably not one then. Rake would not get involved if he thought she belonged to someone.”

  “Danny—”

  “Keto, Rake’s not the same anymore.” Danny looked at Ravil. “Something forced these two together and I am glad that it did. Because for whatever reason, he’s started to care about himself again, if only to protect her. Regardless of who owned her before, she stays right fucking here as long as it takes Rake to get better.”