Wastes of Space

by Darcy Town

  Tasanee slapped her leg. “Don’t think about him.”

  Ravil blinked. “I wasn’t.”

  “Sure, sure.” Tasanee fired off rounds into the stars. “You look infatuated.”

  Ravil stuck her tongue out at Tasanee. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Good, fly us away!”

  Ravil stared at the screen and pointed them towards deep space. “Let’s see how far this training program goes.” She hit full speed and they took off.

  ***

  Kennedy jogged alongside a garbage infested river. He licked his lips and stared at the long shadows as the sun went down. The locater effect on the prey was weakening, harder to lock onto. He turned around and stalked back along the river. If it were getting weaker walking north, then south was the way he would go. He stumbled on garbage and hissed, kicking the crap into the brown water.

  The blood of the prey felt different, harder to trace. Something was going on and it infuriated him. He had never experienced this before. He did not understand it and if the prey were dead, then the prey would be of no use.

  The phone in his pocket went off. Kennedy glared at it and flipped it open. “Yes?”

  Lincoln hissed through the line. “How is the tracking?”

  “It is getting weaker as I move north.”

  “Then go south.”

  “That is what I do!”

  Lincoln chuckled through the line. “Have you slept? You sound exhausted.”

  “No, not slept!” Kennedy made a face. “I not need that.”

  “Kennedy, rest.”

  “No.” Kennedy broke into a run. “I can’t.”

  “Marx and I—”

  “Marx.” Kennedy spat. “What can he do?”

  “We’re getting samples for you, Kennedy. Now stop running, take a nap, and recharge. You are no longer yourself.”

  “I fine.” Kennedy stuck his tongue out towards the phone.

  “When was the last time you ate?”

  Kennedy’s stomach grumbled. “I have not.”

  “Since we parted?”

  “Yes.”

  Lincoln hissed. “Eat and then sleep. That is an order.”

  “You cannot force me to.”

  “If you do not, I will make you suffer when we rejoin.” Lincoln growled. “That is not an empty threat. Rest now, Kennedy.”

  Kennedy stopped in his tracks near a garbage dump. He dropped to the ground and pawed through bags of refuse. “I find food now.”

  “Good,” Lincoln’s voice returned to normal. “I have nearly ten samples, one more and I will join you, then we will call in Marx.”

  Kennedy chewed on a fish head. “Fine.”

  “Rest as well.” Lincoln hung up.

  Kennedy glowered at the fish heads he’d discovered. He licked the eyeballs out and they popped in his mouth. He swallowed and grabbed another fish head. He felt better almost immediately. He grinned. “Food!”

  ***

  Rake woke up as the sun set. Danny sat by his bedside. Rake licked his lips. “Danny? Are you a hallucination?”

  “No, Rake.” Danny set his newspaper aside and gave Rake his attention. “I’m really here.”

  “Wh—why?” Rake’s stomach cramped. “Shit. Fuck!”

  Danny mopped his brow. “Evgeniy is working tonight and Keto needs to sleep.”

  “Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

  Danny sighed. “Because I don’t want to.”

  Rake looked away. “Go away.”

  “No Rake, you can’t order me out.”

  Rake sulked. Dead Lara walked into view. She stuck her tongue out at Danny, but he could not see her. She grinned at Rake. He looked to Danny. “I changed my mind, don’t leave me.”

  Danny eyed him. “Are you seeing things again?”

  “It looks like Lara and it won’t leave me alone.”

  Danny held up his gun. “I’d shoot it if I could.”

  Rake managed a smile and then retched. Dead Lara smelled like rotting flesh.

  The phantasm glared at Danny from across the bed. “I don’t want him here, Rake. Send him away.”

  Rake breathed in through his mouth. “When can I stop the medicine Keto is giving me? I don’t want to see crazy shit anymore. She’s making herself look like a zombie and won’t stop blaming me!”

  Danny frowned. “Rake, Lara wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “I know!” Rake closed his eyes. “I know she wouldn’t, but it doesn’t help when I can see her there. She screams at me, Danny, the same way she screamed then. She reenacts the entire thing!”

  Danny brushed Rake’s hair back from his forehead. “It’s okay Rake, just calm down.”

  “It’s not okay!” Rake began to hyperventilate. “She’s going to do it again.”

  Dead Lara nodded. She jumped on the bed and writhed, her clothes torn, her face going from tan to red to purple. She clawed at her invisible assailant; she reached for Rake, called for him. He struggled to reach her, to stop what was happening. Her breaths came out in ragged spurts as she was choked, let off, choked again. Rake could not take his eyes off her. She lost consciousness. Her arms dropped limply to her side, her eyes bulging, staring at what wasn’t there. Her body jerked and shuddered as she died. Rake howled and arched his back.

  Danny pushed Rake down into the bed. “She’s not really there, Rake!” Rake did not see him; he could only see Lara’s dead body on the grass in his memory. Danny slapped him across the face. “Listen to me, Drake. That’s an order cadet!”

  Rake’s eyes focused on him. “Don’t call me that! That’s not my name!”

  Danny lifted off him. “You were hysterical.”

  Rake sobbed. “She won’t stop.”

  “You won’t stop, Rake. You are punishing yourself!” Danny’s hands shook. “Let go of the guilt already.”

  “I can’t. I can’t.”

  Dead Lara rolled to her stomach, appearing alive. “And you won’t, ever.”

  Rake shook his legs to move her. “She hates me, Danny, blames me.”

  “No she doesn’t, Rake. She’s dead, and she’s not in this room.”

  Rake stared at the ceiling. “I should have died, Danny.” He hit his head into the pillow. “I…it should have been just me that was hurt, not them!” He bit on his lip until it bled. “What kind of man can’t protect their own girlfriend and sister?”

  “The young kind, Rake.” Danny looked down at him. “What happened to them wasn’t your fault.”

  “Could you say that if it had been you?”

  Danny gripped his shoulders. “Rake, I am responsible. You were my wards, all of you.”

  “But we snuck out, tricked you, you couldn’t have known.”

  “I was tricked by a bunch of teenagers, Rake. That’s my fault. If I had kept you on the base in your quarters it wouldn’t have happened.” Danny made sure Rake looked at him. “Please put the blame on me, the adult, and forgive yourself.”

  Rake shook his head. “You weren’t there. You didn’t have to watch the love of your life get choked to death!”

  “I loved her, and you, and Sammy like you were my own kids, Rake, so don’t talk to me about love!” Danny got up and paced. “Not only did I fail you three that night; I failed to keep you from doing this to yourself.”

  “I’m an adult, Danny. I chose to kill myself.”

  Danny threw his hands out, aggravated. “Rake, why are you even trying to recover if you hate yourself and your life so much?”

  Dead Lara nodded. “Yeah Rake, why are you trying to do this?”

  “Ravil.” Rake looked away from Dead Lara. “She needs protection.”

  Danny sat down. “So you make up for one tragedy by preventing another? If you forgave yourself it wouldn’t be necessary.”

  “So what, I just leave Ravil to the wolves?” Rake snarled. “I won’t!”

  “That’s not what I mean, Rake—”

  “She’s my responsibility! She’s my friend!”
/>
  “No she’s not, she’s just a child.”

  “I’m all she has!”

  Danny rubbed his temples. “You don’t have to be.”

  “I want to be!”

  “Why, Rake?”

  Rake blinked back tears. “I…I like her, Danny. I don’t know why, but she makes me feel better.”

  Danny shook his head. “I don’t think this is healthy, Rake, what you’re doing, getting involved with her.”

  “What?”

  Danny stood. “I think she should be sent to Bombay. Charlie still has all of the cadets her age hidden there. She’d fit in, he’d keep her safe.”

  Rake gaped. “No.”

  Danny stepped away. “I think it is better. It’s healthier for her at least. She needs to be with children her age, not adults, not criminals, whores, and killers.”

  “Danny, no!” Rake strained. “Don’t take her away from me!”

  “She’s not your possession, Rake!” Danny looked down at him. “She’s a girl, a real one, not an actress, not your therapist! She’s not your sister; she’s not your girlfriend. She’s not even your friend. She’s a stranger that shouldn’t have to deal with your messed up trauma. I’m doing this for the good of both of you.”

  “This is Keto’s idea!”

  “Originally yes, but I see his point.” He frowned at Rake. “You talk about her in your sleep, Rake. You say strange things.”

  Rake pulled at his bindings. “Danny, please don’t do this!”

  Danny shook his head. “This isn’t your decision. I’ve already discussed it with Keto and I’m going to call Charlie. You can visit her once she is settled. Oro can travel with her tomorrow morning, he can smuggle her out of the county. The bounty hunter she claims is looking for her will have no idea. She’ll be safe with Charlie, much safer than being here.”

  Rake thrashed. “Do not do this!”

  “If you really care about her and not just about what she represents then you’ll see that this is for the best. She should be with others her own age.”

  Rake’s eyes took on a darkness that made Danny take a step back. He hissed. “Don’t take Ravil away from me!” He pulled at the bindings, making the wounds on his wrists bleed through the gauze. “Don’t do it!”

  Danny stared.

  Dead Lara grinned. “Fight it, Rake! Break it! Come on, just a little more!”

  “Shut up, zombie!” Rake glared at the corpse. She shut her mouth. He pleaded with Danny. “Don’t do this to me, Danny. Please, Danny! Please!”

  Danny paled. “Rake, you just met her! You can’t possibly feel this way! This is the drugs talking—”

  “No it’s not!”

  “She’s just a bandage for all of your problems. You don’t really care about her.”

  “Yes I do!”

  “Then what if she doesn’t want to be around you, Rake? What if she gets hurt under your protection? Are you just going to spiral down again and go back to drugs? Are you really only doing this for her? Can’t you do anything for you?”

  Rake stared at him.

  Danny folded his arms. “I can’t have you dependent on a child for your mental health, that isn’t right. She was a good instigator, but now that you’re doing this, she doesn’t need to stay, especially if you could be a danger to her.”

  “Me?”

  “These feelings you have, they’re not healthy.”

  Rake went limp in his bonds. “Please, Danny.”

  Danny’s face went hard. “No, I am not letting you trade one fix for another. You are getting clean. You are going to get better on your own. She is going to Bombay, that’s final.”

  Rake’s face turned red. He clenched his jaw. “Do that and you’ll never see me again, Danny! I’ll leave I swear it!”

  “Christ, Rake, calm down, you don’t know anything about her! She could be anything, anyone, you don’t know.”

  “None of that matters, I’m her pilot!” As Rake said it, a cold sense of calm washed through his body. He went limp in the bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t understand the meaning of what he said, but relief came with the words. He looked at Danny. “You won’t succeed in getting her away from me. We’re bonded.”

  “Listen to yourself, Rake, really listen. You sound crazy. Now I’m positive this idea is for the best.”

  “Fuck you.” Rake took a deep breath. “I know what’s best, and she knows what’s best.”

  Danny shook his head. “I am going to put this down to the drugs you’re on.”

  Rake shrugged. “You don’t understand, but you don’t need to.” His pain stopped, his shakes lessened. He breathed clear and strong. “I’m not protecting her to replace or makeup for Lara and Sammy. I want to help her, Danny. She’s one of the family now, but if she’s not one of yours, she’s still one of mine.”

  “Why, Rake? She’s a kid.”

  Rake shrugged. “Who the fuck cares that she’s a kid? She’s a good person.”

  Danny shook his head. “You’ll feel differently when you’re better.” He slipped out his cell phone. “You’ll understand later.” He looked at Rake and waited for an outburst.

  Rake stared at him evenly. “You must do what you feel is—”

  “Shut it.” Danny sighed. “Don’t quote that to me. I’m the teacher here, not you.” He stepped into the hall to make the call to Charlie.

  Rake dropped his head to the pillow. Dead Lara sat by his side and leaned over him. “What is wrong with you? You’re sick, Rake. Danny’s right. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s not me.”

  “You’re not you either.”

  “Eww! Do you have feelings for her?” Dead Lara stuck out her tongue. “She’s fourteen! That’s sick!”

  Rake made a face. “No, she looks like a boy.”

  Dead Lara folded her arms. “Good.”

  Rake eyed her. “For a hallucination you certainly have a lot of personal problems.”

  Dead Lara snarled and went dead-eyed. “You made me this way, Rake!”

  Rake closed his eyes. “You’re not really here.”

  Dead Lara laughed. “You’re going crazy, Rake. Your body finally broke your mind. You’re insane!”

  Rake shook his head. “I’m fine and I’m sane.”

  “Exactly what a crazy person would say!”

  Danny entered the room. “Are you talking to Lara again?”

  Rake nodded and yawned. “You and her sound remarkably the same.” He closed his eyes. “I’m going to sleep.”

  Danny took his seat back at his chair. “Good. The more you sleep, the faster this will be for you.” He looked at his watch. “Keto says your system is almost entirely clean, you should be better soon.” Rake nodded, mumbled, and passed out.

  ***

  Ravil stumbled into Katarina’s room with Tasanee on her heels. It was past sundown, they were tired, covered in dust and grease. Tasanee grabbed at Katarina’s bag of things she called ‘girlie stuff’. She took Ravil’s hand. “Come on.” She led her upstairs.

  Ravil looked back. “Are you sure she’s okay using her stuff?”

  “Of course, this was her idea!”

  The pair tromped into Danny’s room, knocking dirt off their boots as they went. They took over his bathroom. Ravil turned the shower on; she stayed dressed and only got her long hair into the spray of water. Tasanee hopped on the counter and leaned over Ravil. She toweled Ravil’s hair off and let her sit on the toilet, leaving the towel around her shoulders.

  Tasanee took out a razor and sliced Ravil’s hair, adding layers. “This look shall henceforth be call punk rock albino! You’ll like it I promise.”

  Ravil smiled. “I trust you, Rat.”

  “I cut my own, I’m a pro.” Tasanee grinned; her spiked short hair was skewed at angles. “Your hair is straight as a board, you need some spice!” She sliced more off, still keeping it long, but making some parts very short; they sprang into the air, waving as Tasanee moved in the bathroom. Free of dead weight it took on a li
fe of its own, looking like a mane of white.

  Tasanee nodded, satisfied. She divided Ravil’s hair into two sections. The top she piled on top of her head, keeping it in place with pins and paper clips. She covered the lower section of Ravil’s hair in colored goo.

  Ravil eyed it. “What colors did you find?”

  Tasanee looked at the tubes. “You’ll see.” She kept Ravil away from the mirror and painted on red, orange, and yellow through her lower layers of hair. Tasanee rinsed Ravil’s hair out and smiled at the result. She shoved Ravil in front of the mirror. “You like?”

  Ravil grinned and touched her hair. The top layers remained glossy white, but everything underneath was fiery, like a sunset. Ravil hugged Tasanee. “It’s amazing!”

  Tasanee grinned. “Your white hair does lend to some interesting opportunities. When that fades we’re going electric blue.”

  Ravil’s stomach growled and she rubbed her abdomen. Tasanee gestured out the door. “Dinner awaits us and Kat’s cooking.” The pair bounded down the stairs and slid into the kitchen. Ravil grinned and grabbed at a warm bun, fresh baked. “Bread! You made these?”

  Katarina looked up from her seat. “I did, we had a store run earlier today.” She pushed two bowls of soup at them and nodded appreciatively at Ravil’s hair. “Rocket girl. Rat, did you take her to the ships?”

  Tasanee nodded. “Played on the simulators some and had her work on the US Defender I have.”

  Katarina smiled. “Oh yeah? Is she going to be the grease monkey’s new assistant?”

  “Grease Rat, thank you very much and we’ll see.”

  Ravil started in on her soup. “I didn’t think I would be able to, but it wasn’t that complicated and it was fun the way things fit together, like a puzzle!”

  Tasanee looked smug. “Under my tutelage anyone can build a ship.”

  Katarina smiled at Ravil. “Not true, I couldn’t.”

  Tasanee grinned. “That’s only because you’re like eight feet tall and can’t fit anywhere.”

  Katarina rolled her eyes. “How’d you do on the simulator, Ravil?”