Transparent

by Natalie Whipple

  She rolls her eyes. “Seth decided to gut their house and renovate it this summer. They work on it most of the weekend, unless Brady can talk Seth into taking breaks.”

  I sip my slushie, confused. “You make it sound like Seth is in charge or something.”

  Bea chews her lip. “They’re really private about their family. They wouldn’t want me to tell you.”

  “Tell me what?”

  She shakes her head. “Look, Seth does kind of run the show, but it’s not what you think. You can’t ask, okay? If you ask them, they’ll probably just freak out on you and run away. They’ll tell you when they trust you.”

  “Okay …” I sip at my drink, surprised by Bea’s words. She makes it sound like something horrible. Sure, Seth acts like his life sucks, but I’ve never seen Brady without that adorable one-dimple smile. Except for yesterday when I asked him about Seth. It was like his whole being changed. He was avoiding something.

  My mind runs through the possibilities. I have a feeling it’s about their dad, maybe just because mine sucks so much. But there are a lot of crap dads out there. “I really can’t ask?”

  “Trust me, it’d be faster to wait. They like you. It’s only a matter of time.”

  I sigh. “Fine.”

  She rolls onto her back, I guess to even her perfect tan. “They’re meeting us at Taco Bell for dinner, if you and Miles want to come. We might mess around after that.”

  I’m already so tired from swimming that I almost say no, but then a bird crosses the blue sky and I flinch. Better to be out than spend the evening with Graham. “Sure, I bet Miles would be all over it. He seems to like your brothers.”

  “Yeah, weird. Most people can’t stand them. Of course, Miles is used to ultragifted people, huh. They must not be scary to him at all.”

  “Nope.”

  Miles’s laugh carries over all the pool noise. I’d know it anywhere. He’s having so much … fun. Sometimes I don’t understand how he can let go like that. He barely knows them, and they look like old friends. He knows Graham’s here, that the Navarros are at risk being with us, that there’s more going on than people are telling us. And yet you’d never guess he had a care in the world.

  I wish I could be more like that. I want to put my problems in little boxes and only deal with them when I need to. I want to live like Miles.

  I just don’t know if I can.

  Chapter 17

  Dinner at Taco Bell is actually a who-can-eat-the-most-burritos contest. I’m starting to wonder where all the food is going, because it can’t be possible to hold eight burritos in your stomach and not puke. Yet Hector opens a ninth without hesitation.

  “Your record is going down tonight, bro,” he says to Tony.

  Tony just grabs another one. For a guy who supposedly knows every language in common use, he sure is quiet. He hasn’t said a word since I’ve met him, but he doesn’t look sulky like Seth. I figure everyone says plenty, so he doesn’t see the need. Maybe language is as dull to him as invisibility is to me. I like him for it.

  Miles throws down his fifth burrito, half-eaten. “Dude, I don’t know how you do that. I’m out.”

  “Wuss.” Bea licks her fingers, finishing off number six. Somehow she still looks good, even with hot sauce on her face.

  “Oh, you’ll regret that, Trixy.” Miles takes another bite.

  “We put off tiling the bathroom for this?” Seth grumbles.

  Brady hands him a burrito from the pile in the middle of the table. “Loosen up. Sitting between you and Miss Tense Invisible Girl is giving me ulcers.”

  “What?” I say. “I’m not tense!”

  “Oh?” I swear his smile has some weird power to melt my insides. “You’ve barely said a word tonight. What’s up?”

  I bite my lip. It’s sweet that he’s worried, but I can’t tell him what’s really bothering me. When Miles and I went to change clothes, Mom and Graham weren’t back from the supposed job hunt. I hate that I’m worried about her—she was asking for it—but I keep picturing her back in Las Vegas tied to a chair. “I’m just tired from swimming earlier, that’s all. And I’m trying to keep score on this riveting burrito competition.”

  Brady laughs. “I’ll get you some more caffeine, then.”

  Before I can protest, he takes my cup and makes Seth move so he can slide out. I watch him go, wondering how someone so kind could have any problems. And maybe I’m a little distracted by how much his muscles stretch out his shirt.

  When he gets back, Seth doesn’t move; he just slides over so he’s next to me. Brady sits on the end like it doesn’t bother him, and I feel silly for thinking he sat next to me because he likes me. I’m reading way too much into everything, and yet I can’t stop myself. If anyone could deal with my invisibility, it’s him.

  Brady slides my cup over. “Drink up.”

  “Thanks.” I grab the soda, but miss the straw because Seth’s shoulder slams into mine, almost spilling the drink over the burrito pyramid. “Ow!”

  “Sorry!” Brady says. “My bad.”

  Seth rubs his arm, which is when I realize Brady probably bumped him too hard. Seth gives me the saddest, most sympathetic expression. I had no idea he even possessed the ability to look like that. “You okay, Fiona?”

  “Yes.” My fingers go to my neck. It’s still sore from Graham, and the jostling made it worse.

  “You sure?”

  I pause, surprised by his concern. “Uh … yeah.”

  “What?”

  Maybe he didn’t notice he actually sounds nice for once. It could have been a fluke, and I probably shouldn’t point it out. He might never make that mistake again. “It’s nothing.”

  He sighs, and I expect him to grumble about my answer. He doesn’t.

  “Hey, Fiona, mark me down for another!” Carlos puffs out his chest. “I’m gonna break the record in your honor tonight.”

  Seth scoffs. “You’ve never even gotten close.”

  “I didn’t have my muse!” Carlos grabs another burrito and then blows me a kiss. “For you, baby.”

  I’m not sure if I should gag or laugh, so this embarrassing half snort comes out instead. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

  Everyone bursts into laughter, and even Seth manages a little grin. He finally unwraps his first burrito and eats. I take a deep breath, hoping he doesn’t bite my head off for talking to him. “Are you in for the contest?”

  He shakes his head and takes another bite.

  I sip my drink. I guess that was the end of that conversation. There’s something off with him tonight. This isn’t his usual negativity.

  After Hector and Tony both finish their tenth, Seth clears his throat. “Would you hand me another one, please?”

  He’s not exactly out of reach, but I’m so taken back by the softness in his voice that I comply.

  “Thanks.” He glances at me, almost meeting my eyes. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

  I bite my lip, wondering if this is some kind of joke. “I had a couple tacos before you guys got here. The burritos gross me out.”

  “They are kind of gross.” He takes another bite.

  I hold in my laugh. “Then why are you eating them?”

  He shrugs, and it’s so chill I’m temporarily thrown off-balance. “I’m starving. Free food.”

  “True.” I take another long sip of my drink, grateful for something to fill the awkward pauses with. What the hell is up with him? This is the first normal conversation I’ve had with Seth, and it’s so … well, normal. I glance at him, and for a second it seems like all the tension in his face is gone, just like Brady changed yesterday. I don’t understand, but it’s strange how they both have two completely different sides.

  “Hey.” Miles snaps me out of my daze, but when I look up I realize he’s not talking to me. He’s looking at Bea and Brady, who’re whispering to each other. “You guys look like you’re plotting.”

  Bea laughs, her Trixy grin firmly in place. “Oh
, we are. We thought some night games were in order after dinner.”

  “Night games?” I say.

  Brady’s face lights up like a five-year-old about to tell a cool story. “Yeah, you go to a park after dark and play. I call you for my team.”

  “Hey!” Carlos cries. “No fair! She has way too much advantage.”

  “You’re the one with night vision!” Hector says.

  “That doesn’t mean I can see past invisibility, stupid.”

  They fight over whose team I’m on through the rest of dinner, then all the way to the park, and for a good ten minutes after that. I’m not sure whether to feel flattered or just exhausted. They’ll see my clothes, so I don’t know what the big deal is.

  Bea groans. “Joey, just pick! If I hear any more of this I’ll make Fiona go home right now and keep her to myself.”

  “We’ll play sardines, okay? Then no one can have Fiona,” Joey says. “Everyone happy with that?” They all agree. “Fiona, you get to hide; last one to find her has to do whatever she dares them to do.”

  “Okay.” I smile at the possibilities, hoping Brady will find me first.

  To add difficulty, I pull off my sheer peasant shirt, leaving just my black tank top and dark jeans. Off go my glasses and my shoes, too. Then I notice all the boys minus Miles gaping at me. “What?”

  Carlos shakes his head, smiling slightly. “Invisibility doesn’t exempt you from our imaginations. You just took off half your clothes.”

  Seth smacks his arm, but the others laugh. I’m confused. Did they find that … sexy? They can’t see anything. It’s not like I’m naked, yet they look at me like I’m some kind of supermodel.

  “Dude, she’s my sister. Don’t make me skunk it up,” Miles says.

  They shut up.

  “Cover your eyes, sickos,” Bea says. “I’m counting. You got sixty seconds, Fiona.”

  When they close their eyes, I run. I’ve never been to this park, so I have no idea where a good hiding spot would be. There are lots of trees, but not so many bushes, and even being invisible, they’d still find me under the picnic benches or behind the trash can.

  “Thirty-six!” Bea yells.

  After forgoing the trees and bathrooms, I sprint for the playground. It’s actually huge now that I take it in. A large central tower is lit in the moonlight, surrounded by slides and ramps and tunnels. Perfect. There has to be a good hiding place around here somewhere.

  “Forty-nine!” Bea’s megaphone voice is so loud she may as well be next to me. I’m positive the whole neighborhood can hear.

  I jump into the first tunnel slide and climb halfway up. I have no clue if I’ve picked an easy spot or not, but I guess it doesn’t matter since they’re supposed to find me.

  “Sixty!”

  I hold my breath. My heart pounds as I listen for them. They whoop and holler like they’re on some treasure hunt. Some of their voices get quieter as they go the wrong direction, but there’s a set of feet approaching. They circle around me for a minute. I hope like a dork that it might be Brady.

  The footsteps are close, just above me on the ramp. My skin tingles with anticipation. I look up as a pair of skinny legs comes into view.

  Seth. Of course. Just my luck.

  “There you are.” Seth’s voice is a whisper. He crouches down and carefully makes his way toward me. “Tell me if I almost smack your head or something. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Why are you being so nice?” I snap.

  “Weren’t you the one who said I should be nicer? Now you have a problem with it?” Seth holds out a hand like he’s blind.

  “No! I …” Sighing, I grab his hand to guide him, so he doesn’t have to look so silly.

  “Thanks.” He settles right next to me, our legs touching since there’s not much room. “What were you saying?”

  I keep to my own space as much as possible. “I guess I didn’t expect you to actually listen.”

  “You really think I’m horrible, don’t you?”

  I grit my teeth, trying not to get upset. If he’s being nice, then I should try, too. “I don’t. How could I think that, growing up like I did?”

  He’s silent.

  I put my head to my knees. “I can’t blame you if you think I’m horrible, though. I am. There’s no avoiding it when you’re syndicate-born.”

  “That’s not your fault. Being syndicate-born doesn’t make you horrible. You can’t control that.”

  I laugh bitterly; the thought of Dad’s last order still makes me sick. I wonder if he went through with killing those girls without me. It still feels like my fault. If I hadn’t spied on those men or brought back the Radiasure … I may not have killed anyone with my own hands, but how many people have died as a result of information I supplied? I don’t know. I don’t want to know. “You’re so naive. You don’t even know what horrible is, Seth.”

  I can feel his shoulder tense. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  A lump forms in my throat, remembering what Bea said earlier. “Sorry. I guess I don’t know enough, do I?”

  “Not yet.” His voice is a whisper.

  My skin tingles with curiosity. Will he tell me now? I want to ask, but I keep my mouth shut. It took me so long just to get Seth to be nice to me. I can’t risk going backward now.

  “She’s over here!” I jump at Seth’s voice, then realize he didn’t say anything. It’s Bea messing with everyone. I cover my mouth to muffle my laugh, and Seth actually smiles.

  “The sad thing is they always fall for it,” he says.

  “That is kinda sad.”

  Cursing breaks out when they realize it’s not me, and I can barely keep it together. I can’t believe no one else has found us yet.

  “Shh. You’ll give us away before it gets really hilarious.” Seth’s face is close, so close that I can feel his breath though he doesn’t know it. The sensation brings an unexpected shiver, and I look away.

  Footsteps finally come near. It sounds like two pairs. I hold my breath.

  “Damn, that Fiona is hot,” Carlos says. “And she’s way too good at this.”

  I hear Brady laugh. “You don’t even know what she looks like.”

  My chest tightens. Why do I keep hoping my invisibility doesn’t matter to him? Of course it does. He’s just a nice guy. That’s all.

  “That’s the thing, though—she could look however you want,” Carlos says. “I could picture her different every day.” The way his voice sounds makes me sick. I pull my knees in closer, hoping they don’t find us. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I tense when Seth’s arm comes around my shoulder, but I don’t move. Surprisingly, it’s not so bad. Maybe Brady and Bea were right—Seth doesn’t hate me; he just sucks at expressing himself. I lean my head on his shoulder, wishing I could run far enough to block out the rest.

  “Jeez, she’s not a shape-shifter, Carlos.” Brady sounds angry. “Don’t talk about her like that. Besides …” I don’t hear the rest. They must have gone to whispers.

  “Ah, gotcha.” Carlos laughs. “Fine. I won’t ask her out.”

  “Like she’d say yes.”

  “Ouch, man!”

  As relieved as I am that Carlos isn’t going to make a move, my mind reels over what Brady could have said to make that happen.

  “Only two people haven’t found me!” My voice comes from behind, startling me out of thought. Brady and Carlos run for it, Brady’s feet pounding the ground hard enough to make a mini earthquake.

  “Carlos is a horndog. Ignore him,” Seth says.

  My stomach turns. “Is that what all you guys think? Do you just imagine me as whatever you want?” I should probably see it as a good thing—as far as I know that was the first time any guy said I was hot.

  “No.” He squeezes my shoulder, which is when I realize he hasn’t let go yet. Somewhere in the back of my head I know it should bother me, but it doesn’t. “Like I said, Carlos has always been a perv. I know you have a face, your own face that’s unlike an
yone else’s.”

  “Really?” My voice squeaks, and I shove the tears back inside. No one has ever said there’s something under my invisibility. It’s always been maybe. Knowing someone might actually believe it means more than Seth can understand.

  “Really. Brady knows, too—same with everyone else. And if they don’t, Brady will squash them.”

  I nod into his shoulder, unable to say words without betraying my feelings. I have a face. Other people believe it, too.

  There are footsteps on the ramp, and I realize it’s been a long time for a game of sardines. Bea’s perfect legs appear. “Well, well, am I interrupting?”

  “No.” I smile as she scoots into the slide just above us. “You’re hilarious, by the way.”

  She shakes her head. “I know. Total dumbasses, huh?”

  It doesn’t take too long for Hector to show up after that. Then Miles, Tony, and Joey come a minute or two behind. It’s between Brady and Carlos for the dare, and I start planning what I’ll do to the one who loses. It has to be good.

  “Noooo!” Carlos yells as the ground rumbles. Brady must be running, which means he must have seen Joey climb into the bottom of the slide. It feels like an earthquake as we laugh and hold on. We still slide down the tube and fall into a dog pile.

  “Yes!” Brady pumps his fist. “Carlos, I have a feeling you’re in big trouble.”

  I stand, looking forward to inflicting punishment on Carlos. He breathes hard, his eyes glowing like a cat’s. “Okay, baby, give it to me. I deserve it.”

  “Hmm.” I want it to be mortifying, something to get him back for what he said. “I dare you to streak down Main Street. It’s only fair.”

  Everyone breaks out in howls of laughter, but Carlos’s face turns cunning. “You just wanna see me naked.”

  “Oh, I’m not coming—that’s the last thing I want to see. I need to get home.” It’s past midnight, and my body begs for sleep. That, and I have to know if Mom’s still here or not. Even if she isn’t the perfect mother, we’ve always been together.

  “Sounds good,” Miles says.

  “Don’t worry, Fiona.” Joey gives Carlos a noogie. “We’ll make sure he goes through with it.”