Transparent

by Natalie Whipple

  “Awesome.” Before I chicken out, I touch Brady’s arm. He flinches, probably because I don’t have sleeves and he didn’t see it coming. But he doesn’t pull back. I lean in to whisper. “I just wanted to say thanks, for what you said.”

  He smiles. “No prob. Gotta protect you.”

  If The Pack and my brother weren’t there, I would kiss him right now.

  After saying good-bye, Miles drives us back to the house. We’re quiet at first, but then his mouth breaks into a huge smile.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I like seeing you act like yourself in front of other people.” The light from a streetlamp shines on his face for a moment, and then it’s back to the green glow from the dashboard. “They’re good for you. I’m gonna make sure you can stay here with them as long as you want.”

  I laugh, wishing it were that easy. “They must have put something in those burritos.”

  He punches my arm. “I’m serious!”

  “Fine, fine. I won’t complain.”

  When we get home, Miles collapses on the couch. I tiptoe upstairs to Mom’s door. I’m not sure what I expect to see when I open it, but I hope like I’ve never hoped before that she’s there. I turn the knob slowly and peek in. Mom’s figure rests under the covers, her chest moving up and down. I watch for a moment, just because it’s so surprising to see her safe. Graham really didn’t take her.

  I shut the door, deciding I better enjoy my luck while it lasts.

  Chapter 18

  Mom and I don’t speak much at breakfast, not that it’s new. Her drinking a half pot of coffee isn’t new, either, but something else is. I stare at her blue-and-white uniform, “Lauren” neatly carved into a plastic name tag. Graham’s taken her “job hunting” twice in the past two weeks, but I didn’t believe that’s what they were really doing. I imagined something more along the lines of telekinetically lock picking bank vaults.

  “Y-you actually got a job,” I finally get out.

  She nods. “At the bowling alley. Not exactly glamorous, but we’ll be able to buy food. Thank goodness the house is paid for.”

  I take another bite of my Pop-Tart, too shocked to say more. Is Graham actually protecting us? It’s too good to be true, and I know what that means: There’s a catch. I just don’t know what it is yet.

  “I’ll need the car. Do you have a ride? Or should I take you to school?”

  She’s not taking me to school. I’m still trying to forget the day she registered me. Pulling out my cell, I say, “I’ll find a ride.”

  I head outside after I get off the phone, and Bea, Carlos, and Hector pick me up in Sexy Blue five minutes later. “Hey, chica! Hop in!”

  I slide in next to Bea. “Thanks. Sorry for the short notice. My mom decided not to mention she got a job. At the bowling alley.”

  “So she’ll be waxing balls all day?” Carlos asks.

  Hector punches his shoulder, looking crankier than I’ve ever seen him. “What did I say about idiocy before school?”

  Carlos smiles. “Remind me.”

  Hector grabs Carlos’s bag and throws it out the window. He pulls up on the side of the curb. “You piss me off, you walk.”

  “Fine.” Carlos opens the door. “Then I won’t have to be seen with you.”

  Hector floors it once Carlos is out. He parks a few minutes later. Bea and I watch Hector storm off, and I can’t help thinking he’s the perfect best friend for Seth.

  “Note to self,” I say. “Hector is not a morning person.”

  Bea looks embarrassed. “You noticed?”

  We laugh as we head to our lockers. I don’t mind school so much now. Hanging out with The Pack gives me a place, and I never realized how nice it would be to have one. Math still sucks, but my other classes aren’t too bad. My favorite, to my surprise, is PE. I can barely contain my excitement as I change into my uniform.

  “Man, I hope we’re done with basketball soon. It’s so boring.” Bea pushes the locker room door open, and we head out to the gym to meet up with Brady.

  “I don’t know, basketball’s kind of fun.” I like playing sports. It takes my mind off things, forces me to concentrate on the moment instead of my problems. There’s one goal—win. I like winning.

  Bea rolls her eyes. “Maybe when you’re good it’s fun. It probably helps that you’re tall, too, punk.”

  “Hey,” Brady says when we sit next to him on the bleachers.

  “Mile run today! Everyone under seven minutes gets a break after,” Coach Ford calls. She’s not quite as loud as Bea, but the strange deepness of her voice makes up for it.

  “Yes!” I pump my fist.

  “You’re a freak, you know that?” Bea says.

  I laugh. “Don’t tell me you just figured that out.”

  “Don’t listen to her. It’s cool that you like to run,” Brady says.

  If only he could see my smile. “I just want to see if I can get a faster time.”

  Bea shakes her head. “Like I said, freak.”

  “Whatever, wuss.” I love that we’ve gotten to this joking level, where I know she’s teasing me and I can tease back.

  After we line up, the coach blows her whistle and off we go. Half the class is already walking around the track, not even trying. I don’t care if I look like an overachiever. I want to be the first girl across the finish line. I bet I can beat at least half the guys, too.

  I push myself hard, though it’s still hot outside. The end of October doesn’t seem to matter to Arizona. Sweat drenches my back, under my arms, and even between my boobs, but I don’t care because no one can see anyway.

  Halfway done.

  The heat radiates off the track, burning at my legs. My lungs beg me to slow down, but I know from experience that’ll wane if I just keep going. I could use a drink of water, though. Or maybe like a gallon of water. The girl keeping pace with me finally slows a little. I smile and run harder. I feel even better when I catch up with a few boys. They struggle to keep my speed as I pass, but eventually give up and fall behind.

  With the finish line in sight, I give it every last bit of effort I have, though my whole body burns.

  “Five-forty-three!” Coach Ford cries. “Great time, McClean!”

  I smile wide—five seconds off my last time. That’s probably the best mile I’ve ever run, though I’ve done far too many without a timer to know for sure.

  I jog to the drinking fountain, breathing deeply to slow my heart rate. Then I proceed to try to run the fountain dry.

  “I hate you!” Bea calls as she passes. I’m pretty sure she just finished her second lap.

  When I’m done rehydrating, Brady waves to me from the bleachers. He finished probably a minute before me, and I have a feeling he could go faster if it didn’t risk destroying the track.

  “Awesome time, Fi,” he says when I sit next to him. “You’re the fastest girl in school.”

  I try not to stare at him too much, but he even looks good sweaty. It’s bad enough he’s hot, what with the freckles and perfect smile. Oh, and the cut muscles. Does he have to be so freaking nice, too? “Yeah, right.”

  “I mean it. You should go out for track this spring with me. I’m not sure if they’d put you on the gifted team or not, since invisibility doesn’t help much with running, but either way you’re fast.”

  “Really?” I can’t help but grin. It feels nice to be good at something, especially when that something isn’t illegal.

  He smiles. “Yeah, really. Or you could try soccer. Oh! I bet you’d make an awesome running back—Seth could give you pointers. He and Hector are co-captains this year, so he would know exactly how to train you.”

  Because I need more of Seth telling me what to do. “Maybe. I’ll think about it. Track sounds fun.”

  He leans forward, looking over the remaining runners, or rather, walkers. “Well, either way, you should come running with me this weekend. I go out in the desert so I can run full speed. There’s some pretty cool stuff out there.” />
  My heart skips. I repeat his words in my head to make sure he really asked what I think he asked. “Yeah, I’d love to go.”

  “Great. Saturday? At like eight?”

  “Perfect.”

  I float through the rest of school, replaying the conversation in my head to make sure it actually happened. I’ve been trying to resist my crush, but maybe I don’t have to. Brady asked me out. He likes … me, my personality, I guess. That had to be why he told Carlos to back off. He was planning on making a move.

  This is the best day of my life.

  Chapter 19

  When I walk into tutoring, the Brady-asked-me-out high dissolves. Not like Seth looks pleasant often, but today he’s beyond stressed. And he won’t look at me. Bea glances my way several times, then finally leans over. “Do you know what’s up with him?”

  “How would I?”

  She shrugs. “He seems to be avoiding you. Wondered if maybe you guys got in another fight or something.”

  “Not really.” I thought Seth and I had reached some tentative truce since that game of sardines. Not that he’s been chummy, but he certainly hasn’t been as jerky as before. He even talks to me sometimes at lunch, though he mostly studies with Hector. We’re kind of friends, I think.

  “You should talk to him and see what’s up,” Bea says. “He seems to open up around you, and he listens to you.”

  “What?” I try not to laugh. “He does not.”

  Her look is flat. “He does. Trust me.”

  “Whatever.” I focus on my homework, sure we’re reading into it too much. Seth is always stressed over something.

  But then the entire hour passes without Seth checking on us once. In fact, he stays as far away from me as possible. Maybe his furrowed brow does have something to do with me. Every minute he avoids me makes my heart beat faster, and I go into panic mode.

  He let my secret slip.

  My mind races through the possibilities. Maybe he was talking to Hector about me and someone overheard. They figured out I’m not hiding from my dad. He’s probably scared to tell me. And he should be, because I’ll never forgive him if he ruined everything.

  As I pack my stuff, his feet come into view. “Fiona?”

  “Yeah?” I look up; he stares at the floor.

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “You could have done that during class—Bea’s my ride. My mom actually got a job…”

  “I can take you home. This is really important and … private.”

  My throat closes. Crap. Someone does know I’m on the run. They told my dad. He showed up and seduced the school secretary into telling him where we live. He’s probably there waiting for Mom and me to come home.

  I’m such an idiot. I’ll never have a normal life, and now that I’m losing this one I know what I’m missing.

  “Fine. See you, Bea.”

  She nods. “It’ll be okay.”

  I wish she was right.

  After the door closes, Seth takes the seat next to me. He chews the inside of his lip, and his blue eyes turn sad. “I have some bad news.”

  My hands won’t stop shaking. “Who’d you tell?”

  His brow furrows. “What?”

  “C’mon. You look like you’re being followed by the Grim Reaper. You must have let my secret slip. Who’d you tell?”

  “I didn’t tell anyone. She figured it out on her own and came to ask me about it.”

  My jaw drops. It was probably one of my dad’s spies, following a lead. I thought Seth would be a lot smarter than that. “And you just told her? I thought you said you were good at keeping secrets!”

  His eyes turn angry. “I didn’t tell her anything! I lied to her for you, but she’s not happy with your performance either way.”

  I pause. “Wait … what?”

  He sighs. “You failed your test again. Ms. Sorenson wants to put you in remedial classes like I told you she would.”

  “Oh.” I put my hand to my heart, noticing how fast it’s beating. As I realize how wrong my assumption was, I sink in my seat.

  “What did you think I was talking about?”

  “You kept avoiding me, so I was worried you were going to say you let my other secret slip. I thought I was about to see my dad walk through the door or something.” I squeeze back the tears. So much for feeling safe under Graham’s supposed protection. Try as I might, his words aren’t enough to keep me from constantly looking over my shoulder.

  “Bea and Brady know, even the rest of The Pack—you trust them. Why don’t you trust me?” His voice is indignant, and I open my eyes to find his face the same way.

  “They earned it.”

  “And I haven’t? If anything, I’ve done more than them!” He puts a fist to his mouth, as if he’s trying to stop the words from coming out wrong. “I thought … we were friends now. I thought you trusted me. I know way more than they do.”

  “That’s the problem! Yes, we’re friends, but you could ruin me in one breath, accident or not. You know way too much for your own good—and you keep prying.”

  “I’m not prying.”

  “You’re always asking if I’m okay and trying to get me to tell you about my past. And you won’t breathe a word about your own! Not exactly fair.” The words feel like a cheap shot now that they’re out, and I wish I could take them back.

  He glares at me, like he’s trying to push away whatever he feels. “I’m just trying to help.”

  “What do you expect from me, Seth? You think it’s easy for me to believe people when I’ve lived one giant lie of a life?” I try to force down the guilt, but it doesn’t go away. “Under my dad’s control, I couldn’t even trust myself, my own feelings. I want to trust you, I really do, but …”

  “But what?”

  I’m scared. “Cut me some slack. Please.”

  He folds his arms. “Then do the same for me and stop worrying about if I’ll tell. I won’t.”

  I nod. “Fine. Whatever.”

  We’re silent for what seems like ages. I almost get up to leave, but then I remember he’s my ride. Why did I agree to this again? I just want to run away. I can’t seem to get enough air when he gets worked up. It stresses me out.

  “Can I say what I was going to say without you getting mad at me?” he asks.

  “Go for it.” The sooner this is over, the better.

  “I told Ms. Sorenson I’m still helping you catch up, since your tutors were neglectful. She agreed to give you one more chance—if you pass the next test you can stay in the class.”

  A lump forms in my throat. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like such a jerk. “Thanks.”

  He glances at me, his eyes meeting mine just briefly before he looks down again. “I think you’ll need more personalized tutoring to pass. I know it’s probably the last thing in the world you want to do, but we could figure this out if you stayed after every day. You’re getting better; you’ll keep getting better.”

  I stare at him, unable to speak. “You’d still help me, even after I treated you like that?”

  He nods. “I’m kind of used to it by now.”

  My eyes narrow, and I have to hold back a smile. “Okay. May as well give it another shot.”

  A small grin crosses his lips. “I won’t give up if you don’t.”

  “Deal.” I swallow the lump of pride in my throat. “Sorry. I’m a little on edge about stuff.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m dealing with crap, too. Maybe I’ve been taking it out on you, since everyone else gave up on my attitude problem a long time ago. They don’t even bother fighting back.”

  I almost ask what that means, but I don’t. I have a feeling it’s been a while since Seth’s said something like that to anyone. “So, are you gonna make me start working today? Or do I get a break?”

  His smile breaks into a full-on grin. “I’ll take you home.”

  I can’t help smiling back. “Wow, so you do have a heart in there somewhere.”

&
nbsp; “Shut up.”

  My laugh surprises me, as does Seth’s.

  Chapter 20

  Miles and I sit under the tree out front, savoring the shade in the fading light. He leans on the trunk, pouting.

  “Stop it.” I close my eyes, unable to look at him any longer. It kills me every time, but I am not giving up my date with Brady no matter how watery my brother’s eyes get.

  “I can’t believe you’re ditching me for a guy.”

  “It’s just one night, and it’s not like this happens every day.”

  “I guess that’s true,” he grumbles.

  I venture a peek; he doesn’t look happy, but the pout’s gone. “You know Brady. How could you not approve?”

  He shrugs. “Yeah, he’s nice, but I guess I never pictured you with someone like him.”

  I scoff. “You probably never pictured me with anyone.”

  “No!” He smiles. “Well, not like I sit and think about it all the time. I just imagined someone … less huge.”

  I laugh. “You have a problem with his muscles?”

  “He could hurt you! Not that he would, but that kind of strength … Fi, it’s not something that’s easy to deal with.” He bites his lip. “I always hoped you’d find a guy who wouldn’t make your life any more complicated than it is, you know? Someone safe.”

  As I look at the ground, this ache forms in my chest. I’d never thought about it, really. Brady’s strong. He could easily demolish a house with his fist, never mind a person. And yet … “He’s so gentle. He controls it really well. You can’t say he’s not one of the nicest people you’ve ever met.”

  “He is.” Miles puts his arm around me, squeezes tight. “But people are like paper to him. Don’t forget that. Of course he’d never do anything intentionally—that doesn’t stop accidents, though.”

  I push his arm off. He should be happy for me. He has to know it’s a miracle anyone would ask me out, especially someone like Brady. “You’re judging him.”

  “Fi, calm down. That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “Then what?”

  He takes a deep breath. “I’m just making sure you don’t forget what kind of sacrifice you’d be making, if this does go further. I mean, look at Mom. She resisted Dad at first, and he was so crazy about getting her because of it. Then things changed. She thought she could deal with it. She wanted to love him for real, and she paid the price.”