Totem Lost

by James Hadman

  “My spirits tell me that you have made my aunt sick. If you don’t suspend your spell or whatever you have done, I will use all my power to destroy you as I destroyed the mighty Skull Breaker.”

  He laughed. “Hah, what nonsense is this? You’re claiming you destroyed Skull Breaker, the most powerful war chief in the land? How did you accomplish this miracle? Did you wear him out by spreading your legs for him?”

  “Our shaman speaks truth,” Killer Whale Rider said. “Both Pearl Shell Woman and I witnessed what her spirits did to him. When we left Kasaan, we left behind a paralyzed and speechless man.”

  “I thought you people were going there to enlist his help in some scheme your shaman is promoting. What happened?”

  “He attacked our shaman and her spirits did him in,” Pearl Shell Woman said. Bear Claw was silent for a few moments and apparently decided not to respond to this unsettling piece of news.

  “What makes you think I have anything to do with your aunt’s illness?”

  “She is incoherent except for repeating your name. That’s enough for me. If you don’t relieve her distress, I will summon all my spirits to deal with you.” Kushdaka picked that moment to whistle and Bear Claw flinched.

  “I have a proposition for you,” he said. “I will help your aunt if you agree to help me. I wish to stay here in Howkan as the village shaman, but my future has been clouded by your success at curing the yitsati’s daughter. Since you did that, I’ve heard people suggest that you are better suited to be the shaman here. There isn’t room for two of us.”

  “You have miscounted. There are three shamans here.”

  “If you agree to my terms there will only be one, and it will be me. Your aunt will be restored to good health and retired from practicing her craft.”

  “What about me? Do you want me to return to Klawak?”

  “I want you to abandon your quest to be a shaman. If you do that, I won’t care where you live.” He reached under his robe and took out a weathered box. I immediately recognized Sky Shaker’s thunderbird painted on its side.

  “I was walking in the woods and came upon this,” he said, holding it, so I could see the design. I reached for it, but he pulled back. “Ah, I see you recognize your aunt’s cut-tongue box. I not only have her box, I have her tongues. As long as they are in my keeping, your aunt will continue slipping into madness.”

  Killer Whale Rider looked at me and took a step toward Bear Claw.

  “I can take the box from him.”

  “Do you think I am a fool? The box is empty. See.” He opened it and turned it upside down. “If you so much as touch me, you’ll never see the tongues again and Sky Shaker will die.”

  “How do I know you even have them?” I asked.

  “You saw your aunt.” He shrugged. “Do you want her to continue suffering? The decision is yours.”

  “All right. I’ll assume you have them. What must I do to get them back?”

  “You must cease your efforts to become a shaman by burning the tongues you have cut.”

  “What! You’re ordering me to give up my quest to save our people from the whitefaces?”

  “I’ve heard you talk about these evil whitefaces, but no one I know has seen one. Why should I believe you?”

  “How can you say such a thing? My father was a whiteface. He knew about the danger we face from whiteface invaders.”

  “Your father, a noble and famous man, a friend to Haida and Tlingit alike, lived among us for his entire life. Such a great man could never be one of the evil whitefaces you describe.”

  “You’re not making sense. Do you know what you’re saying?”

  “I’m saying that you have made a great mistake by trying to become a shaman. If, as you claim, you destroyed Skull Breaker, the most famous Haida war chief in the land, you have proven that you are not fit to be a shaman.”

  “That’s your opinion, but you’re trying to have it two ways. First, you refuse to believe I did Skull Breaker in, then you want to use his destruction as proof of my unsuitability to be a shaman. You deny my father was a whiteface when everyone knows he was. Your statements prove there is no reasoning with you–your mind is made up. What if I agree to your demands and give up becoming a shaman? Suppose returning Sky Shaker’s tongues fails to cure her madness and I have lost my tongues, what then?”

  Bear Claw snorted. “That would suit me just fine.”

  “Shaman,” Pearl Shell Woman said. “Sky Shaker wouldn’t want you to give up your quest for her. Don’t destroy your tongues.”

  “I have a suggestion,” Killer Whale Rider said. “Let’s have Sea Beaver take charge of both sets of tongues. He can return Sky Shaker’s tongues to us and if that cures her, he can then burn our shaman’s.”

  “I could agree to that, but she must destroy hers first,” Bear Claw said, looking at me. I nodded.

  Killer Whale Rider took me aside and said, “Tell me where they’re hidden and I’ll go get them.” I searched his face but found no alternative. I hesitated. This was such a wrenching decision.

  “Whatever we do,” he said. “We need to hurry.” He was right. Helping Sky Shaker was the most important thing. I whispered instructions in his ear until he nodded. He lit a torch and left. I asked Pearl Shell Woman to inform Sea Beaver of his part in this unfortunate plan and she departed, leaving me alone with Bear Claw.

  “Now that Skull Breaker has had you,” he said, smirking at me, “I could show you how a real man pleasures a woman.” Then he clutched his crotch with a grubby, long-nailed hand. This man was a truly vile creature. I clasped the handle of my knife.

  “If you so much as lay a hand on me, I won’t wait to have my spirits kill you. I’ll personally cut your evil heart from your disgusting chest.” Kushdaka let out a shrill whistle as if to emphasize what I’d said. She began squirming, so I put her down. She sat upright and glared at Bear Claw. He wouldn’t meet her piercing gaze.

  “Get that thing away from me.” I motioned to Kushdaka and we left without a word.

  When I stepped through the door of Sky Shaker’s house I was met with my aunt’s demented shrieks and Lina’s sobs. I wanted to turn around and leave, but instead I tried to calm Lina.

  “Help is on the way. We know what’s wrong with Sky Shaker. Bear Claw found her cut-tongue box, and if all goes as planned, we’ll get it back, and she’ll be cured.”

  I tried to sound confident, but inside I was a mass of confusion. This crisis had appeared so suddenly. When I began my training, I remembered Sky Shaker telling me that if anyone but the shaman they belonged to possessed her tongues, she would die a raving maniac. Now, I was seeing proof of what she had said. If I did nothing, she would die. On the other hand, I could save her by destroying my tongues, but that would end my quest to become a shaman and protect our people.

  Pearl Shell Woman had made it plain she wanted me to keep my tongues and continue my quest. Killer Whale Rider had threatened Bear Claw, but he was the one who had gone for my hidden tongues. I was confused. I could refuse Bear Claw’s vile exchange or I could destroy my tongues to save my aunt. The final decision was mine.

  “Come. Take a look at her and see if you think she’s getting better,” Lina said, motioning for me to follow her to Sky Shaker’s sleeping place. I did and peered into the gloomy cubicle where the poor thing was writhing and moaning. The fastidious woman had messed herself. I couldn’t bear to see her like this.

  I must get her tongues back regardless of the cost. I returned to the fire to wait for Killer Whale Rider’s return. He and Pearl Shell Woman returned together and he nodded when I looked at him.

  “I woke Sea Beaver and explained what we needed to have him do,” she said. “I had difficulty persuading him because he is reluctant to meddle in spirit matters, but I persisted and he says he’ll help. He’s waiting for us.” I sent Lina to inform Bear Claw that
we were ready to trade the tongues at Sea Beaver’s house as soon as he could get there.

  My assistants and I were waiting outside when Bear Claw approached. We filed inside. The fire that was to end my shaman’s quest was burning brightly.

  “I could just take the box of tongues from him,” Killer Whale Rider said.

  “No, I agreed to his demands and Sky Shaker needs our help. We’ll go through with this.”

  Bear Claw took his place across the fire from us next to Sea Beaver and said, “Show me your shaman’s cut tongues.” Killer Whale Rider took my cut-tongue box from beneath his cloak. He opened it and displayed my precious tongues.

  “Burn them.” Bear Claw ordered.

  “Wait,” I said. “Show us Sky Shaker’s tongues first.”

  He took her box from a shoulder bag and opened it. It was full of tongues.

  “Give the box to Sea Beaver.” Killer Whale Rider ordered.

  “Throw hers in the fire first and then I’ll give this box to the yitsati.”

  Killer Whale Rider obeyed and I watched my hard-won tongues drop into the fire. They sizzled and a chill ripped through my body and took my breath away. I was frozen in place.

  Instead of turning and handing Sky Shaker’s box to Sea Beaver as agreed, the cheating shaman held it over the fire. He smiled at me and I watched in horror as he slowly began to turn it over. He was preparing to dump her tongues into the blaze, too. We stood openmouthed, stunned by his treachery. He paused for an extra moment, apparently savouring our reaction.

  That pause was all Pearl Shell Woman needed. She reacted while the rest of us were frozen in place. She dove across the fire pit and seized the box from him. A couple of tongues spilled and fell to the floor, but none went into the fire.

  She tossed the box to Killer Whale Rider who caught it. That move caused her to lose her balance and Pearl Shell Woman drove her left hand deep into the glowing coals. When she screamed, Bear Claw turned to flee but ran into the enraged yitsati. Sea Beaver put both hands on his chest and pushed.

  Pearl Shell Woman was screaming as she pulled her hand from the coals just as Bear Claw sprawled butt first into the fire. He screamed, too.

  Sea Beaver was shouting that Bear Claw was no shaman, and that he had defiled his house, and that he was no longer welcome in Howkan. It was a big mess.

  Killer Whale Rider handed Sky Shaker’s cut-tongue box to me and went to Pearl Shell Woman. Bear Claw was shrieking and flailing, but I wasn’t going to help him. After what he had done to Pearl Shell Woman and my aunt, the vile slug was getting what he deserved.

  “I think he’s cooked enough to remind him of what his treachery has earned him,” Sea Beaver said, dragging him from the fire by his hair. I picked up the spilled tongues and put them in the cut-tongue box. Then I hurried back to Sky Shaker’s house.

  “What’s all that screaming about?” Lina asked.

  “I’ll tell you later. Let’s go see how Sky Shaker is doing.” We picked up a torch and approached her sleeping area. All we heard was silence–no moans.

  “Maybe she died,” Lina said.

  “I hope not after all the trouble we had retrieving her tongues,” I said, showing her the box. “Let’s take a look.”

  I held my breath as we peered into her dimly lit sleeping chamber. My aunt was lying on her back and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw her chest move. She was sleeping comfortably with no hint of the terrible convulsions of a few minutes ago. Lina smiled at me and I nodded.

  “I think she’s going to be just fine,” I said, putting her cut-tongue box down next to her. “Let her sleep. Come with me. I need your help. Pearl Shell Woman is badly hurt.”

  We returned to Sea Beaver’s house and had to weave our way through the crowd. Attracted by Bear Claw’s ongoing screams and moans, they had gathered like scavengers around a dying animal.

  The scene inside the house was still chaotic. Poor Pearl Shell Woman was sobbing and holding her burned hand in the box of cool drinking water. Killer Whale Rider was trying to comfort her and looked close to tears himself. Bear Claw was sprawled on the floor writhing in pain. Every time he shrieked, Sea Beaver kicked him and, of course, he screamed louder.

  When Sea Beaver saw me, he said, “This false shaman’s despicable act has defiled the honour of my house and I want him out of here. I don’t care if he lives or dies. Either way, he is finished here in Howkan.” He looked at Killer Whale Rider. “Could you give me a hand throwing him out onto the beach.” He nodded and when he got up, I took his place.

  I helped Pearl Shell Woman wipe her tears away. Then I took her good hand and told her that I was going to treat her and she was going to be all right. We had all seen burn injuries and I knew what we needed to treat her wound. I sent Lina for seal grease and soft bark cloth. She followed as the men dragged Bear Claw through the door and dumped him outside. He was still screaming and when they realized who he was, the crowd shrank back. Several people shouted at Lina, asking her what had happened.

  “He’s been burned.” I heard her say. “Send for his assistants and let them care for him.” She returned a few minutes later with the grease and bandages.

  Pearl Shell Woman winced as I dressed her wound. It didn’t look good. Her hand resembled cooked meat covered with blisters and oozing fluid. I doubted that she would ever have full use of it again. This was an awful blow to such a talented weaver and seamstress. My first thought was to ask my spirit animals to have Great Raven heal her, but then I remembered–their tongues and my power were ashes in Sea Beaver’s fire pit. I would have to take very good care of her to honour her sacrifice.

  May 10, 1778: Dawn was breaking when Killer Whale Rider and I helped Pearl Shell Woman from Sea Beaver’s house. The beach was unnaturally empty. Bear Claw was gone and everyone else had vanished too, apparently nervous about what might happen next.

  Once back in Sky Shaker’s house, I had Lina fix a bed for Pearl Shell Woman next to the fire, so I could keep a close watch on her. Color had ebbed from her face and her teeth were chattering. Lina brewed strong willow bark tea, and after we got that down her, we laid her flat and covered her with a warm cloak.

  I spent the rest of that day and a very long night nursing her and occasionally looking in on Sky Shaker. By first light of the next morning, I was exhausted and Killer Whale Rider took over while I napped. I awoke to Kushdaka and the puppies tumbling over each other–the first lighthearted moment since I returned to Howkan.

  May 11, 1778: When I got up, I checked on Sky Shaker and was surprised to see her sitting up. She had a dazed expression and when she saw me, asked, “What happened to me? I feel like I’ve been beaten up, but I don’t have any bruises.” She struggled to her feet. “Where’s Lina? I need a bath and my tea and I am so hungry.”

  “You have been unconscious for a while,” I said, and then told her about Bear Claw finding her box of tongues and using them against her and me.

  “I was surprised to see them beside me when I woke up. How did they get here?”

  “With Sea Beaver’s help, my assistants and I retrieved them from Bear Claw. I put them close to you hoping they would make you well again and it seems to have worked.”

  “I’ll take my revenge on that Bear Claw. He had no right to touch my tongues.”

  “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about him any more,” I said. “He had a bad accident.” When I told her how Pearl Shell Woman had saved her tongues, and the price she had paid, she took my arm.

  “You say she’s down by the fire pit. Help me get down there. I want to take a look at her and see what I can do. Have you asked your spirits for help?”

  “My tongues were destroyed,” I said, blinking back tears.

  “Oh, no. That’s terrible. You’d better tell me the whole story.”

  I started at the beginning and described Bear Claw’s attempt to become the
only shaman in Howkan by using extortion against me.

  “You lost your tongues defending me?” I nodded. “I’ll have to think about how to deal with this disaster.”

  Pearl Shell Woman’s colour had returned and she looked better than she had but was obviously in pain. She winced as Lina removed the dressing on her hand. If anything, it looked worse than I remembered. Sky Shaker gasped when she saw her poor hand.

  “I have some special medicine we can try. Go get my box, Lina.” While we were waiting for her to return, Killer Whale Rider came in. When he saw Sky Shaker was up and around, he smiled at her.

  “I am happy to see you looking so well,” he said. “I have news. Sea Beaver went to tell Bear Claw and his people that they are banished from Howkan, but the only thing in the house was Bear Claw’s corpse. I checked and their canoes are gone, so it appears all of his relatives and helpers have fled.”

  “So, Bear Claw is dead,” Sky Shaker said, sprinkling powder on Pearl Shell Woman’s hand. She smiled at us and added. “That’s good news. Now I won’t have to kill him. Finish bandaging her, Lina.”

  “The medicine stings a little, but I think my hand is feeling better already,” Pearl Shell Woman said.

  “All you have to do is get well,” Sky Shaker said. “I got you into this shaman’s assistant business and I’ll take care of you until you’re all healed.” Sky Shaker was back in charge and that was good. I didn’t feel capable of making any decisions.

  When everyone sat down to eat, I picked up a piece of salmon and headed for my sleeping area. I had no appetite, but I knew Arrow and her family would be hungry. I fed them and watched while they attacked the fish. I’d lost my spirits, but I had my Kushdaka. I rolled up in my sleeping robe and fell into a deep sleep.

  May 12, 1778: I awoke early and gathered up my writing things. I wanted to catch up my journal and hoped that would help me make a decision about my future. I fed the fire and began writing. Recounting Skull Breaker’s vicious attack and the loss of my tongues was a painful experience, but I told the entire story. I was finishing when Lina appeared. We greeted one another and then she made willow tea for Sky Shaker and took a bowl back to Pearl Shell Woman who was still in bed.