by Green, Vicki
I wake up early, anxious to start my day. I work from noon to six today, and I need to get with Shiloh and pack. I cook breakfast for Colby and Shiloh, full of nervous energy. We have a nice breakfast, and I talk to them about going home. They are both excited for me. Shiloh said she would make the arrangements for me and give me some extra money, if I need it. They are definitely special people. Not a selfish bone in their bodies. I told them I had enough if they could just cover the airfare for me and I would pay them back. Of course they told me I didn’t need to pay them back but I intend on doing just that.
Shiloh got me on a ten a.m. flight in the morning. I looked up our house on the internet and found the lawyer who is handling the estate. I called him, and he was surprised I was alive. So am I. I told him I would see him in the morning and what time my flight gets in. He said he’d send a car to the airport to pick me up and bring me to his office. I thanked him and then hung up and got ready for work. I’m excited yet nervous.
The day dragged. Anxiousness filled me. I feel like I fumbled all day, my mind on other things. Six o’clock finally came and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I told everyone goodbye and told Mr. Grandy I’d keep in touch. They all gave me well wishes and hugs and I felt so loved. I’m nervous as I drive, hoping beyond hope that my plan will work. If not, I’ll go home with a heavy heart.
Chapter Nine
Trevor
Another month and no Prie. I’m thinkin’ she’s finally done with me, startin’ her new life, gettin’ stronger, and I’m glad for that. I’m out here feedin’ the chickens, their squawkin’ the only sounds keepin’ me company. My farm is comin’ along nicely. Fresh vegetables growin’, some I already picked and ate or froze for later. I have Storm growin’ up on me and three more horses bein’ boarded here. Then there’s Fancy, a mare I bought from Nash. She’s mine, and it was instant love when I went to his place wantin’ to get a horse of my own. She flat out loves to run in the pasture and also, when I ride her through the creek, then over by the base of the mountains. The snow hasn’t kept her from her daily exercise, spring just ‘round the corner now. Today’s been rather warm, the snow meltin’ down to where you can see the grass below it. Nothin’ like a warm day, the sun shinin’ down on my skin, makin’ me feel more energetic. I’d removed my shirt about an hour ago, sweat coverin’ my body.
“Clarice! Go get your own food,” I laugh as my feistiest chicken snatches a piece of corn from the cob I’ve been holdin’ out to one of the others. I’ve been sittin’ on a bale of hay, next to the coop outside, just takin’ a breather. I’ve been enjoyin’ the peace, feelin’ great about my accomplishments. Life turned around, helped me to see that I’ve been blessed with what I have, what I’m makin’ for myself. The beauty of the land remindin’ me that every day is a new day, that I should be thankful for everythin’ I have. And I am. But then at night, the part of the day when bein’ alone is so hard. I miss Prie so fuckin’ much it hurts my heart so badly. I was gonna go to her, try to explain, ask for forgiveness, but then I thought she needs to have her life to herself for a bit. She needs the time and I guess I do too, even though it’s killin’ me. I dream of her every night, alone in my bed. Havin’ to tend to my own needs in the shower only causes her to fill my head, wishin’ she was here. God, I’d give anythin’ to hold her in my arms again, wrap myself around her at night and feel the warmth of her body.
I feel a tug on the cob and look down, pullin’ me out of my thoughts. The same thoughts I have daily. “Ah, Beatrice. Back for another piece?” I chuckle low as she squawks at me. The wind picks up. The hair on the back of my neck stands. The feelin’ of bein’ watched, and a familiar presence causes me to turn my head. The sun blinds me. I raise my hand up, coverin’ my eyes. A vision stands there, her long blonde hair blowin’ around her, those hazel green eyes blazin’ into mine. “Prie,” I whisper, blinkin’ my eyes, makin’ sure she’s not in my imagination. Her full lips turn up into a smile, tinted by a light shade of red lipstick, the breeze catchin’ the length of her sundress. I watch her hands move down to keep it from risin’, showin’ too much. The thought of hopin’ the wind will blow harder enters my mind.
“Hi, Trevor.” Her smile takes my breath away, her face almost glowin’ as the sun kisses it. God, I’ve missed her!
The cob pulls my arm, and I turn away, hopin’ she’s not gone when I look again. I lay the cob down and rub my hand on my jeans as I stand. Holdin’ my breath I turn around and she’s closer, right in front of me. My hearts beatin’ so fast, I feel like I can’t catch my breath. My eyes scan down her body. She’s put on a little weight, all in the right places. Looks healthier, more beautiful, if that’s possible. “How are you?” Squeaks from my mouth, much like Clarice was doin’ earlier. My lips are dry, about as bad as my throat. I feel like I can’t even form a coherent sentence with her standin’ there, takin’ all the oxygen I have left.
She rolls up on her booted feet then back down again, her hands relaxed at her side. No fidgeting, no nervousness. So unlike the old Prie. “I’m good actually. Really good.”
I smile, can’t help it when she’s smilin’ so bright at me. “Good. I’m so glad. Happy for you.” Suddenly confusion sets in. Why is she here? She’s not upset, not actin’ like she hates me.
She looks down then her gorgeous eyes find mine again as she looks up at me from beneath her long lashes. “I’m leaving town tomorrow.” What? Now my heart hurts, beatin’ fast for entirely a different reason.
“Will you be back?” I ask in barely a whisper, afraid of her answer.
Please say yes.
She looks around the area, the wind blowin’ her hair behind her shoulder. When she looks back, her cheek is sunk in as she bites down on the inside in nervousness. She shakes her head, releasin’ it and her features soften. “I’m not sure.”
Panic hits me hard. She’s goin’ away and not sure if she’ll be back. How much more can I endure? Everythin’ good in my life, except my friends, have left me in one way or another. All not by choice. This time, she has a choice and chooses to leave. Leave me. My heart shatters. I may never come back from this. Hattie was hard enough but I’ve managed to make my peace with it, as much as I could. She’ll always have a special place in my heart and soul. But this, there’s no way ever to get over this, my heart is beaten.
She raises her head, tilts it to the side, like she’s studyin’ me. Tryin’ to figure out what I’m thinkin’, feelin’. “I wondered if you’d like to have dinner. I could cook or….” She smiles, her beauty overwhelmin’. “Or we could cook together.” She looks around again, takin’ in the land, and then smiles back at me. “We could even cook out on your grill. It’s such a lovely day.” She’d give me this. This last time together. Like our last supper before she leaves. Can my heart take it, one last time?
My mouth opens before I can think anymore. “I’d love that.” I smile but hers. Hers is almost more than I can bear. She nods, matter of fact, and starts to turn around. “Oh, are you done here or did you want to play with your chickens a while longer?” She giggles, her playfulness new and fillin’ me. I love seein’ her this way. She’s so different yet the same in ways but she’s more lighthearted.
I look down at my boots and chuckle, lookin’ back up at her with a grin. “No. I’m done.” She nods, holdin’ out her hand to me. I take it, her hand small in mine. Her skin as soft as I remember – a fire ignitin’ inside me quickly. We walk to the deck together. I stop and light the grill when we reach the top. She walks inside like she belongs here.
She does belong here.
We busy ourselves makin’ dinner. I’m grillin’ some fresh vegetables and steak while she makes a salad and puts rolls in the oven. It’s like we’ve been together for a long time, comfortable in our silence. Finally, we meet at the table. She’s already put plates and silverware down and filled our glasses with milk and water. We
sit and start fillin’ our plates.
“So. Where are you headin’ off to? If you don’t wanna tell me then….”
Please tell me.
She swallows the bite in her mouth. The look of seriousness covers her face. “I’m going home.” She moves her fork around her plate, starin’ into my eyes. “I need to make peace there. For me. For my family.” She swallows hard and I can tell she’s pushin’ back her tears.
“I’m so proud of you, Darlin’. You’ve become so strong, so confident. You’re healin’.” She nods. A small smile graces her face.
“But I need to make my peace here too.”
Hattie.
Anger.
“I need a night,” she whispers, not as confident as she started.
“A night?” My brows lower with my confusion.
She nods slowly. “My last night here, at least for a while I hope. I need this night with you.” I swallow hard, chokin’ on my emotions, tryin’ to rein them in. “I need you, Trevor. I need to know we’re okay. We left things….” She takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “Well, I didn’t know that the answer I gave would hurt you so badly.”
“Prie.”
“No. Had I known I would have answered them differently, with more gentleness. Trevor. I had no idea you were the boy who had captured her heart. I understand your pain.” How could she? Anger begins to well up but I push it down. I won’t do this to her again. “I lost her too. I may not have loved her in the same way but I loved her. She was my sister, my best friend.” Damn. I’m so damn selfish. I never thought about her pain, what she lost. I just didn’t think at all. “I want to leave tomorrow knowing our friendship is intact. That….” She starts bitin’ the inside of her cheek again then stops. “I….” She stumbles, fightin’ to find the right words. My eyes tear up, my heart racin’ yet I’m not sure why. She looks down and smiles but when she looks back up into my eyes, hers are wet too. “I just want to be here with you before I leave.”
She does want me. Like I want her.
Dinner forgotten, I stand, my chair pushin’ out abruptly. I walk the two steps and bend, grabbin’ underneath her legs, my arm around her shoulders, and lift her effortlessly. She doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around me and press her mouth against mine. Warm. Wet. Delicious. Just as I remember. I carry her to my bed, our mouths movin’ in sync as our tongues do their own dance. Her fingers have woven into my hair and as I lay her down they tug, makin’ my body boil with such intense desire. She releases them as I stand back, lookin’ down at her. I pull her boots off and help her outta her dress and bra. She’s exactly how I envision an angel to look like. Stunning. Beautiful. There’s not a word in the dictionary that can describe her accurately. Her long hair is splayed out around her. Her eyes have darkened, filled with desire, her chest risin’ and fallin’ with her labored breathin’.
For me.
She stares into my eyes then looks down as I tug my shirt free from my jeans, unbuttonin’ each button, then pull it over my shoulders and let it drop to the ground.
“That night we made love….” I unbuckle my belt, pullin’ it free from the belt loops, then drop it on top of my shirt. “Even though the beginnin’ happened because of the dream….” I release the button, slowly pullin’ down the zipper. “When I saw it was you….” I run my fingers underneath the waistband. I pull them down and step out of them. She licks her lips seductively when she finds I’m commando, showin’ just how hard I am for her. “Felt you….” I grasp my hardened length and stroke it. “I was relieved.” Her eyes snap up to mine. Her desire burns in them but confusion clouds over. “Since the first time I’d seen you….” Climbin’ onto the mattress, it presses down, I put my fingers in the waistband of her panties. Pullin’ them over her hips and down her legs, I remove them from her feet and drop them on the floor then hover over her. I look down at her beautiful face, scannin’ every inch until I meet her eyes. “Even though I knew it was wrong….” Her legs spread as I move in between them. “I wanted you so badly.”
Her lips part and a gasp escapes when I push into her. The achin’ I’ve felt for her for so long, not satisfied, but the feel of her makes me unable to hold back. I begin to move, her walls so tight around me. Her legs wrap around my waist, her feet borin’ into my ass as she starts meetin’ my movements. We move as one, connected as we are meant to, fittin’ perfectly together. I bend down and capture those full lips as my hand kneads her breast. I release her mouth, rubbin’ the side of my face against the silky skin of hers and whisper in her ear, “I’ve wanted to be inside you so bad I almost went crazy.” I feel her fingers tanglin’ in my hair as she lets out the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard in my life. Her moan comes from deep within her. I could almost feel it as I press against her face with mine.
“God! Trevor!”
I push into her deeper, harder. Faster. Her fingers leave my hair and move to my shoulders. I feel her nails dig into my skin, and I welcome them, welcome the pain as she drives them deeper with my thrusts. Makes me feel again. Feel her. She’s all around me. Her smell. Her touch. Her legs squeezin’ my waist as I push and push, wantin’ more, not able to get close enough, deep enough. I grab her arms, pullin’ her up as I sit back. Deeper. Much deeper. She leans up with her legs then back down, her head tiltin’ back as we moan together at the feelin’. Her arms wrap around my neck as I thrust up when she envelopes me each time, causin’ me to go deeper. “Fuck! You feel so good around my cock,” I murmur into her ear. She pulls her head up, her mouth findin’ mine, pressin’ hard.
“Take me, Trevor. Take me hard….” she whispers against my lips. “I….” She moves up and down, each time comin’ down on me harder, faster. “I’m gonna…. I can’t….”
I reach down, findin’ her achin’ and swollen clit and start pressin’, rubbin’.
“GOD! TREVOR!” she screams as her body relaxes into mine. I keep goin’, not able to get enough of her. I lay her down, gently and continue to get my fill, as if I ever could. I ram into her, over and over, until my balls tighten, my desire overtakin’ me. I cum hard as I yell out her name. Her eyes open, half-masted, sated but full of love. My body shudders, my arms strainin’ with my weight, not wantin’ to crush her. I roll off her, layin’ down beside her. My body is spent, wore out but fully satisfied.
For now.
I feel her hand softly rubbin’ up and down my back, a sheen of sweat coverin’ my body from my exertion. I turn my head and look into her love filled eyes. For me. My heart swells, fills with her love. My love. How can I let her go now? Not knowin’ if she’ll be back? How can I lose my heart again? This time I fear it will kill me. I push it back, not wantin’ to spoil the night.
Maybe the last night.
I reach over and run my thumb over the smoothness of the skin on her face, her eyes flutterin’ closed with my touch.
“You’re incredible. I….”
I stop cold. I want to say it, mean it with all my heart and soul but it’s too soon.
I might scare her again.
“I love how your body fits so perfectly with mine.”
Her eyes open lazily, a smile spreads across her face. Her stomach growls and we both laugh. I push up until I’m sittin’, then take her hands and pull her up. “Let’s go heat up supper. Need to feed that growl.” She laughs as I pull her out of the bed. I walk into my closet and grab a t-shirt then return to her, pullin’ it over her head. She looks up at me, her innocent eyes burnin’ into my soul. She pushes her arms through the sleeves, her long soft hair fallin’ all around her. I pull it down, the hem reachin’ mid-thigh. “Looks good on you.”
She smiles, movin’ her head to her shoulder and takin’ a deep breath. She lifts her head, her eyes darkenin’ quickly. “Smells of you.”
God, what she does to me.
I give her a grin, walk over
and pick up my jeans, watchin’ her as I put them on. Her eyes stare at my cock that’s already hardenin’ again, achin’ to be inside her, until I pull them up. I walk over, chucklin’, and take her hand. “Food first.” She lets out a laugh as I lead her downstairs and into the kitchen. I take her to the chair she was sittin’ in before, then grab our plates and put them in the microwave above the stove. I dare not look at her sittin’ there in my t-shirt, lookin’ all kinds of sexy, or she’ll never eat. I’d storm over, pick her up and toss her over my shoulder, carry her back up to my bed and make love to her until mornin’.
Mornin’.
She’ll leave me.
Go far away.
My heart becomes heavy so I push that back into my mind. I’ll spend every single minute with her – for as long as I can, for as long as she’ll let me.
By four o’clock in the mornin’, I’ve lost count how many times we’ve made love. Right after I felt she got her fill of supper, I ‘bout attacked her, made love to her bent over the breakfast bar. She giggled, at first, and then was lost in the feelin’, in my love. We made it to the livin’ room after that but didn’t make it to the couch though. The rug was the mattress. She rode me like an experienced rider. God that was the deepest I’d been in her yet. Carried her up the stairs, into my bathroom, and made love to her against the shower tiles before we managed to wash each other. I explored every inch of her silky skin, every nook and cranny. That was the first time I’d ever seen the scars on her back. As I washed, I kissed every one of them, tellin’ her how beautiful she is, how strong she’s become. She was shy, at first, but she shivered with my kisses. I ran my finger over the scars lovingly, feelin’ her pain, lovin’ her more for endurin’ it. I would have taken all those beatin’s for her and more. Makes me want to kill Mikael all over again.