by E. L. Todd
Two blonde sauntered to Ryan, standing behind his chair. “You look casual,” one said, her hand direct next to his shoulder.
“I’m lazy,” he said shortly.
“I like lazy guys,” she said seductively.
A brunette moved to Sean, strutting as she walked. When she stopped at Sean, he panicked. “I’m married.” He held up his left hand and leaned away. “Happily married and my wife is pregnant.” He said the words so fast like he was about to have a heart attack. You would think she was pointing a gun at his head.
“Dude, chill,” I whispered.
He kept leaning away from her, like he wasn’t rejecting her enough.
The girl who had her eye on me stood next to my chair, her thigh at my shoulder. Her dress was dangerously short. “You’re cute.” She smiled down at me.
“This is my bachelor party.”
“Oh.” She smirked. “She’s a lucky girl.”
“I’m the lucky one,” I said honestly.
Her hand moved to my shoulder, making my heart stop. “So you need one more round before you tie the knot, huh?”
I leaned forward, forcing her hand to drop. “No. Not my style.”
“Relax.” She placed both her hands on my shoulders and started to rub the muscle. I knew girls could be sluts, but rubbing a stranger’s back was just pathetic.
“Don’t touch me,” I growled. I wanted to be more aggressive, but I didn’t want to destroy her confidence completely.
“Geez.” She rolled her eyes and walked away.
“I’m not interested in a threesome.” Ryan brushed them off.
What did I miss?
One girl sat on the armrest of his chair. “You look like you’d be good at it.”
“I am,” he said flatly. “But I’m satisfied with my fiancé.”
“Come on,” the girl said. “Live a little.”
Ryan had been pushed too far. “Go open your legs to someone else. I’m not interested in buying anything you’re selling.”
The girl’s eyes widened in offense. She slapped Ryan across the face before she walked away.
I tried not to laugh.
Ryan rubbed his cheek then finished his glass.
Sean was still panicking. “I’m married,” he said to another girl in a weak voice. He kept looking at the floor, averting his eyes as much as possible. His left hand was held up. “I married!”
“I just wanted to borrow a coaster…” The girl looked at him like he was crazy.
“Oh.” He threw it at her. “Here.” He looked down at the ground again.
I burst out laughing.
“I think that guy has turrets,” I heard a girl say.
I laughed harder at my brother. He really knew how to make an idiot out of himself.
Kirk and Cameron were in paradise. They each had a girl on their thigh. They were too absorbed in them to pay attention to us.
“So, this is lame,” Ryan said honestly.
“It’s the truth,” I said.
Sean looked like he might pass out.
“Dude, calm the hell down,” Ryan said. “We know you aren’t going to cheat on Scarlet.”
“I just don’t want her to think I am,” Sean said defensively. “I don’t want her to hear rumors about me being too friendly with the women.”
“You’re at a bachelor party,” Ryan said. “She knows women will be around.”
“I’m married.” He said it like it explained everything.
“You can still be cool,” Ryan said. “If I told Janice some girls offered to have a threesome with me, she wouldn’t flip out.”
“Well, I’ve haven’t had the best past with Scarlet,” Sean said darkly.
I rolled my eyes. “Let the past go. She has.”
“I’ll never make up for what I did,” my brother said.
I was tired of arguing with him. “I wish Cortland were here.”
“Me too,” Ryan said. “I hope everything is okay with Monnique.”
“Why don’t they just get back together?” Sean asked. “It’s like, they are but they aren’t.”
I shrugged. “It seems like they really love each other. I hope they can work it out. Monnique wasn’t my favorite person, but she’s warmed up to me a lot.”
“Me too,” Ryan admitted. “I don’t think her behavior was acceptable, but she seems sincere about her apologies and her shortcomings.”
“Maybe we should have guy talk with Cortland,” Sean said.
“No,” Ryan said. “He needs to figure this out on his own.”
More rounds were brought to the table. Cameron and Kirk ignored theirs since they were more interested in the beautiful women on their laps. I knew both of them had a hard-on.
The guys and I drank more and more. My head started to buzz so I stopped. I couldn’t get drunk anymore. I was about to be a husband and a father. My days of youth were long gone. Now I had to be responsible and a role model. My dad made it look so easy.
“Let’s head to the room and play poker,” Ryan said.
“Good idea.” I’d been hit on by three different women. I was getting sick of swatting them away. “You coming?” I said to Cameron.
Kirk had his tongue down the girl’s throat. He was unable to speak.
“We’ll catch you later,” Cameron said without looking at me. His eyes were glued to the busty chest in his line of sight.
We threw the cash on the table then left.
Unable to drive, we walked to the plaza hotel and checked in. We didn’t bring any bags because we would just pass out anywhere then head home the next day. We took the elevator to the penthouse, where we saw a card table in the center of the room. The chips and board were already in place, along with a fully stocked bar.
“You ready to lose your money?” I asked.
Ryan sat down at the table then shuffled the cards. “You obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with.”
“Maybe we should keep it friendly,” Sean suggested.
“Looks like Sean sucks at poker,” Ryan said with a smile.
“I just meant because this is Mike’s bachelor party,” Sean said.
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”
Sean poured the bourbon then handed out the cigars.
Ryan didn’t touch his and neither did Sean. I was the only one who lit up. I’d only smoked a cigar three times in my life. It was only for special occasions. “You aren’t going to smoke?”
Ryan shook his head. “It’s not for me.”
Sean didn’t touch his. “Me neither.”
“You used to smoke cigars,” I said. “Especially in college.”
“Well, that was years ago,” he brushed off.
“You’re pussy-whipped.” I called him out on his shit.
“I don’t care,” Sean said. “I’ll admit it to anyone.” He picked up his cards and we started the game.
After a few rounds, we started making bigger bets. Ryan started betting thousands of dollars so I met his tender. My cigar lasted a long time because I savored it. I hoped Cassandra wouldn’t smell it on me when I got home, but then again, after everywhere we went tonight, I probably smelled like booze and piss.
“So, getting cold feet?” Ryan asked, studying my face.
“No.”
“Really?” He smirked at me. “I never thought I’d see the day when Mike took a wife.”
“Neither did I,” I said honestly. “But I could say the same about you.”
“Touché,” Ryan said.
“Cassandra asked me the same question the other day,” I said. “Honestly, I’m surprised she had the balls to ask me that when she was the one who dumped me to begin with.”
“Well, she has pregnancy hormones,” Sean explained. “Her emotions might be out of whack.”
“Maybe,” I said. “I’m waiting for her to get really horny.”
“You don’t do it enough as it is?” Ryan asked with a laugh.
“Oh, we do. But more is never enough.”
I liked having sex with Cassandra. A lot of it.
We played a few more rounds. Ryan won’t the jackpot a few times, but I won it back. By the end, we broke even. Sean was the only one who was in the hole.
“You really do suck, bro,” I said.
Sean rolled his eyes. “It’s been awhile, alright?”
“We’ve been playing for hours,” Ryan said.
“I guess I’m stressed out,” Sean said.
I stared at him. “About what?”
“That Scarlet will think I cheated on her tonight or something.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
Ryan and I shared a glanced. “Dude, you’re being paranoid.”
“I just don’t want to stress her out.” I could tell he had too much to drink because his eyes were drooping and he was getting emotional. He was hardly like that. “I’m afraid she’ll lose the baby again. When Flynn came to the house, I almost killed him because he was dropping all his personal bullshit on her. And then Monnique’s dad died…” He covered his face. “I know I’m being selfish, but I can’t go through that again. I can’t…” His voice cracked at the end.
I gripped his shoulder and steadied him. “It’ll be alright, man.”
“I’ll kill myself if I make her lose it again.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Ryan said gently. “And Scarlet will be fine. She’s been staying home and laying around, getting fat.” He tried to lighten the mood. “I know she eats ice cream like it’s water.”
Sean rested his head on the table and fell silent.
I rubbed his back while he mumbled something incoherent. “Horrible husband…”
I sighed then threw my cards down. “He’s out.”
“I can tell.”
I looked at Ryan. “I’m sorry that Cassandra I paraded over your wedding and engagement. We just needed to do this fast.”
He smiled. “Dude, it’s not a problem. Janice and I don’t care in the least.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about it. We’re happy for you.”
“Hopefully Cortland will be at your bachelor party.”
He nodded. “If he can’t come, then we won’t have one at all. He’s my best friend.”
“It seems like Scarlet is,” I teased.
He shrugged. “No one will ever compete with my sister. Our ties run deep. Only she will ever really understand me. She’s seen my darkness and understands the true meaning of depression. Scarlet has seen me at my lowest point, something I’ll never show anyone—not even Janice. It had to be her.”
I knew they had a bad childhood but I never asked about it. It was none of my business and Mike never mentioned it. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?” A sadness crept into his eyes.
“Something bothering you?”
He was quiet for a long time. “I’m just stressed out.”
“You can talk to me about it…”
He shook his head. “No, I’ll take this one to the grave.”
“And there’s Scarlet,” I reminded him.
“No. She can’t know about this one. And I’m sure Sean would kill me if I told her.”
That was the truth. “Well, I’m here if you change your mind.”
“I know, man.” He gave me a serious look. “You’ll be a great dad and husband. Cassandra is very lucky.”
Ryan hardly said nice things to me, and he certainly didn’t get mushy-mushy. Sean was better known for that. For a guy, he was incredibly emotional and sensitive. Well, he became that way after he got married. Before that, he was an insensitive jerk just like the rest of us. “Thanks, man.”
“Yeah.”
We sat at the table quietly, Sean snoring.
“Should I throw him on the couch?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. I’ll help.”
Together, we laid Sean down then tossed his jacket over him.
“I’m sleeping on the bed,” Ryan said. “I called it.”
“I got the other couch,” I said.
“Cool.” Ryan kicked off his shoes.
I glanced at the clock. It was four in the morning.
“Don’t wake me up tomorrow,” Ryan said as he walked away.
“Yeah. Ryan?”
“What?” He turned around.
“Why didn’t you smoke?” Ryan and I had been somewhat close over the past year, but I felt a stronger connection to him after tonight. It was something I would never ask and I would probably never get another opportunity to ask it. So I took a shot. I knew there was a strong reason why. He wasn’t against drinking or tattoos, so there was something holding him back.
He pulled down his shirt, stretching the neck. Faint circles marked his shoulder. He pulled it back after I got a good look. “My mom used to burn cigarettes into my skin.” He said it with a straight face, no emotion. Then he walked into the bedroom and shut the door.
10
Cortland
When we went to bed that night, Monnique was quiet. She hadn’t spoken since she broke down at the cemetery. But she didn’t cry either. When we went out to dinner, she ordered her food but didn’t touch it. Both she and Javi were lost in their thoughts. I respected their despair and remained mute.
She opened her bag and pulled out her shorts and t-shirt. I knew she usually just slept in a t-shirt with no bottoms or bra, but she was making an effort to cover herself. I wouldn’t make a move anyway, not when she was depressed like this.
She went into the bathroom and changed before she came out, her hair pulled back.
I stripped down to my boxers because that’s usually how I slept. It was too hot sleeping next to Monnique.
She sat at the edge of the bed and unclipped her earrings, dropping them on her nightstand. I got into bed and waited for her to join me. She stayed on the bed, facing the wall.
I wanted to say something to make this better, but I couldn’t. There was nothing. Her father was gone and I would never change that. The pain she felt would radiate through her body no matter how I touched her or loved her. I couldn’t protect her from this.
I placed my hand on her back and rubbed her gently, trying to clear her mind of whatever she was thinking. She finally lay down and pulled the covers over her. She immediately turned on her side, away from me. I stayed on my back and looked at the ceiling.
“Monnique?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “I know.”
I spooned her from behind and wrapped my arm around her stomach. She didn’t push me away or react. My face moved to the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. More than anything else, I missed this. I missed holding her while we slept. She was better than any teddy bear I had as a child.
I faintly heard her sniff.
“Talk to me,” I whispered.
“I have nothing to say.”
I grabbed her hand from her chest and gripped it tightly. “I’m always here for you, Monnique. Remember that.”
She didn’t speak, but the sound of a few more tears escaped. Listening to her cry made me want to cry. I hated it.
“Try to get some sleep.”
“I can’t…”
“Think about something else.”
“When I’m not thinking about him, I’m thinking about you…”
“Then think about Sean and Scarlet’s baby and how cute it will be.”
She took a deep breath. “It will be cute.”
“And you’ll be there aunt, their favorite aunt.”
“I don’t know about that…”
“You’re a nurse. They’re going to think you’re a hero.”
She chuckled. ‘That would be cool.”
“They’ll love you.” I rubbed her back and kept talking about their baby. She listened to me and responded a few times, but eventually, she fell asleep.
The next day, we got ready for the funeral. Monnique wore a black dress with a see-through
fabric around her shoulders. She wore a black veil around her face along with a small black hat. Her hair was pulled back and she wore waterproof makeup.
Even in her depression, she looked beautiful. She reminded me of the gorgeous women from the 20’s, classy and elegant. Even when the despair weighed on her shoulders, she held herself proudly. I felt like a jackass for finding her so beautiful. This was a difficult day for her, and all I could think about was those beautiful cheeks and lips.
She and Javi skipped breakfast because neither one of them were hungry. I didn’t have an appetite either. On the drive over, I held her and kept her close to me. The veil got under my skin. I kept thinking of a white one covering her face, on that I would lift on our wedding day. The daydream made me want to crumble into tears.
We arrived at the church, seeing the casket in the very front. An arrangement of flowers was placed on it, and a large portrait of her father sat beside it. Monnique greeted the pastor and made her comments. I stayed beside her the whole time. Javi was taking the reins more than she was, but I was grateful. Monnique needed all the support she could get.
We sat in the front row and waited for the ceremony to start. Javi greeted their relatives but she stayed beside me, unable to speak or smile. My arm was over across the back of her chair and I held her hand in the other. She stared straight ahead, lifeless.
When everyone was seated, I looked behind me. The church was packed. Her father was a popular guy. I kept squeezing Monnique’s hand, telling her I was there. The pastor stepped to the podium and spoke about her father, recapturing his life in words and in pictures. Monnique didn’t cry. She just listened.
Javi sat on the other side of her, tears falling freely.
I really wished this hadn’t happened. Monnique had already suffered enough. Why did she have to suffer still?
Javi approached the podium and gave his speech. It was short and sweet, telling everyone in the church how much his father meant to him. Monnique watched him, a stoic expression on her face. I wondered if she prepared a speech. If she did, I didn’t see it.
Javi returned to the row and she stood up. Reluctantly, I released her hand. With grace, she rose up the steps then reached the podium. Her black gloves could be seen on the stand. If she was nervous, she didn’t show it.