Hand-Me-Down Love

by Ransom, Jennifer

  “He’ll be here in a minute,” she said putting her phone back in her purse. She seemed very excited about that. Derrick walked in a few minutes later and sat beside Jada in the booth. Sean ordered boiled shrimp and another pitcher of beer.

  “Did we remember to put the closed sign on the door?” Marla said. “I don’t remember doing that.”

  “I did it,” Jada said with a shrimp in her mouth. “Nobody’s coming today anyway.”

  Like children playing hooky from school, Marla, Sean, Jada, and Derrick spent the afternoon at Steamboat Joe’s. At one point, Derrick got up to put some money in the jukebox and music filled the restaurant. The lunch hour was long past and a few regulars sat at tables. It was basically a bar when the lunch and dinner times were over.

  The bartender brought another pitcher of beer along with crab legs and boiled shrimp. They ate like pigs, none of them caring if they looked like pigs. And they did, sucking on crab legs, peeling shrimp and stuffing it in their mouths. At one point, Derrick and Jada got up to dance. Marla giggled watching them do their moves in the confined space. Then, before she even knew what was happening, Sean had pulled her out of her seat and they were dancing beside Jada and Derrick. They switched partners like they were at a square dance, back and forth, back and forth.

  Everyone was laughing. It was a day that none of them expected and they welcomed it with open arms. When the dinner crowd started to come in, they left Steamboat Joe’s and walked arm in arm back to the shop. They were all a little drunk.

  “Y’all come up,” Marla said to Jada and Derrick. “We’ve got some beer.”

  Everyone went up the stairs into Marla’s apartment. Sean went immediately to the iPod player and hit the button to start it. No one wanted the day to end. When “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed came on, Derrick and Jada danced close together. Sean looked at Marla on the couch. “I think something’s going on between them,” he whispered. Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her up to dance the slow dance. He leaned down and kissed her as they swayed.

  “They can see us,” she whispered.

  “I don’t care,” he whispered back. But he stopped, and they held each other as they danced. Many songs and dances later, the evening did finally end.

  “I guess we’ve got to work tomorrow,” Jada said.

  “I guess so,” Marla said. “Don’t worry if you’re late.”

  “I’ll be on time,” she said, as she and Derrick opened the door in the kitchen and walked down the stairs. Marla shut the door.

  “I think they’re a couple,” Sean said. “Didn’t it seem like that to you?”

  “Definitely. I think it may have been going on for a while and I wasn’t paying attention. They seem good together.”

  “I’ll get the lights,” Sean said. “Be there in a minute.”

  Marla visited the bathroom. As she was walking back down the hall toward the bedroom, Sean came into the hallway. His tall frame was illuminated by the lamp in the living room. He pulled her to him and pressed her up against the wall.

  “I’ve been wanting you all day,” he said. He kissed her. With one hand on the wall behind her, he used his other hand to unbutton her jeans and slid them to the floor. She stepped out of them. He unzipped his own jeans and pushed against her. She was moaning with desire as he picked her up. She straddled him and he slipped into her. She held him tight with her legs as he thrust deeper and deeper until they both cried out.

  “Oh my God,” he said as he set her on the floor.

  Back in the bedroom, they pulled the covers back and got into bed. Sean held her hand but they didn’t talk. Lucy jumped up and nestled herself between them.

  The next morning, Sean got up with Marla. “I’ve got to start doing something. I can’t stay here all day. Can I come help out in the shop?”

  “Of course,” Marla said walking over to kiss him.

  Sean and Derrick worked together on several pieces from estate sales, sanding the furniture and applying paint. Marla and Jada worked on the books. It wouldn’t be long before taxes were due. It was a slow day. Later in the afternoon, Sean was sitting on the other side of Marla’s desk when the front door opened. It was Ceecee Answorth.

  Marla walked to the front of the shop to greet her. She had been a good customer over the years, but she was a busybody.

  “Hey, Mrs. Answorth,” Marla said.

  “Hey yourself,” the old woman answered. She looked beyond Marla to the desk area. Sean was walking out the back door.

  “Was that Sean O’Connell?” she asked.

  Marla was flustered. “Yes, he came by for a visit today.”

  “That poor boy,” Mrs. Answorth said. “How’s he doing?”

  “He’s getting by,” Marla said. “Is there something you’re looking for today?”

  Mrs. Answorth took her eyes off the back door and looked at Marla for the first time. “I was hoping to get one of those dough bowls you sell here. My daughter-in-law is in love with them and I thought I’d get her one for her birthday.”

  “I’m sorry that we’re sold out at the moment,” Marla said, wanting the old lady to leave. She didn’t feel comfortable with her old, peering eyes, looking into her business.

  “But I can put you on the waiting list. They go so fast, I can’t keep them in stock.”

  Mrs. Answorth was disappointed. “I really need to get her something and that’s what I had in mind.”

  “Why don’t I show you some other things we have here she might like,” Marla said, leading Mrs. Answorth to the vintage side of the shop. “I’ll put you at the top of the list and when the dough bowls come in, I’ll call you. But we can find her something else for now.”

  Dammit! Marla was going to have to deal with Mrs. Answorth seeing Sean. She would have to talk to Sean. While these thoughts were running around in her mind, she led the old woman to the vintage side. Mrs. Answorth looked around with Marla at her side explaining the history of various objects, but she didn’t buy anything. “Let me know when those bowls come in,” she said as she left the store.

  Relieved she was gone, Marla walked to the back and went out the door. Sean was sitting in a chair rubbing Lucy with his foot.

  “That old biddy is gonna be trouble,” Marla said. “She saw you.”

  “I know,” he said.

  “We’ve got to figure this out,” Marla said.

  “Let’s talk about it tonight,” Sean said. “We’ve got a lot to finish up here today. I’m supposed to go to Mobile with Derrick to pick up that furniture.”

  “Okay,” Marla said. She walked over to Sean and leaned down and kissed him. He kissed her back. “Don’t worry so much,” he said.

  Later that night, when they were finally in bed, Sean said, “I know we’ve got to talk about Mrs. Answorth, but I need to talk about something else first.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Go ahead.”

  “I realized today that I’ve got to deal with the house. It’s just sitting over there empty and I’ve got to deal with it. I can’t really afford to keep paying for it when I’m not even living there.”

  “What do you want to do?” Marla asked. She had been checking on the house periodically since Meredith’s death. She hated going inside, but she knew someone needed to look after it, make sure water lines hadn’t burst or the power went out. She had also been starting Meredith’s car every time she went over, just to keep it going.

  “I think I need to go over and figure out what to do with everything. Can you come with me?”

  “Of course,” she said and put her arm on his reassuringly. “Of course I’ll help you with it.”

  “Thanks,” he said. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  They slept that night without making love.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Are you ready?” Marla said to Sean, who sat in the passenger seat of her car. They were parked in the driveway of his house.

  “No,” he said. “But it’s got to be done.”

&nbs
p; They got out of the car and walked to the kitchen door. Marla used her key to unlock the door and opened it. She went in and Sean followed. The kitchen was clean but felt hollow and empty. There was no life there. Sean walked into the room and walked to the stove. That had been Meredith’s domain, the stove. He stood there staring down at it.

  Marla came up beside him and put her hand on his arm.

  “I still can’t believe she’s gone,” he said. He turned to her and she took him in her arms. They fell to the floor holding each other. Sean wept loudly and unashamedly. So did Marla.

  “Sean, I can take care of things here for you if you can’t do it,” Marla said, his head in her lap. “Really, I can do it.”

  Sean pulled himself up. “No, I’ve got to figure this out. It’s not fair to put that on you.” He got up and she followed him down the hall to the master bedroom. He opened the closet door. “I don’t know what to do with all of her clothes,” he said. “What should we do?”

  “I think we should put them in storage for now,” Marla said. “Figure that out later. In fact, we can put everything in storage so we don’t have to figure it out right now. Do you want to do that?”

  He turned to look at her and her heart broke to see him in so much pain. “Can you get anything that you or your mother might want? Can you take that stuff out of here? Like family pieces?”

  Marla reassured him that she would take care of that. She would take care of everything.

  “I need to get it on the market right away. I’ll never be able to stay here again.”

  “Okay,” Marla said. “As soon as we empty the house out, we’ll put it on the market.” She hesitated a moment before asking, “What about her car?”

  “I need to sell that too, I guess,” he said. “What do you think?”

  “Yes. I know someone who can take care of that. I can get him over here tomorrow, if that’s what you want.”

  He nodded. “Let’s go,” he said. “I need to get out of here.”

  Marla drove Sean back to her apartment. He seemed numb and uncommunicative. She led him to the bedroom and took his clothes off down to his underwear.

  “I’ll be back in a minute with some tea,” she said, pulling the covers over him.

  Sean had propped himself up on pillows when she came back into the room with a cup of tea with lemon and honey. He took the cup from her and gave her a grateful look. She sensed he wanted to be alone and left the room. “I’m right in there if you need me,” she said.

  She sat down at the kitchen table and put her head on her arms. Wracking sobs took over her body, but she was careful to keep the noise low so Sean wouldn’t hear her. She wept for her dead sister, she wept for her parents and the loss of their child, she wept for Sean, and she wept for herself. If she could have brought Meredith back and lost Sean in the process, she would have given him up. She stayed at the table for a long while.

  The gray sky turned to black. Marla walked through the dark apartment and stood beside the bed, removing her clothes before crawling under the covers. Lucy had settled beside Sean’s leg and didn’t move. Marla closed her eyes, hoping sleep would come soon.

  “I know you love her as much as I do,” Sean said into the black room. He touched her arm in the dark.

  “Yes,” she said. “I love her. I miss her so much I can’t stand it.”

  “I love you, too, Marla,” he said. “I know it doesn’t seem right or fair, but I do. I love you.”

  He turned on his side and put his arm around her. She pulled herself over to his chest and settled there as he stroked her arm. “I love you too,” she said. Both of them were worn out with the emotions of the day and they slept in each other’s arms all night.

  Early the next morning, Marla woke up leaving Sean in the bed. As soon as she had a cup of coffee she went down to the shop and called Jada.

  “I’ve got a lot of things to take care of with Sean’s house this week. It’s kind of sudden, I know, but can you take care of things for me for a few days?”

  Marla drove to a Wal-Mart in Mobile and stocked up on boxes and large plastic containers and went to Sean’s house. Sean’s house. Not Sean and Meredith’s house. Nobody’s house anymore, really, Marla thought. It was a dead house.

  The master bedroom closet was full of Meredith’s clothes. The last time Marla had gone through the closet it was to get Merrie’s blue dress. With eyes full of tears, she took down each dress, each blouse, each skirt and carefully folded them and placed them in the plastic containers. She ran her fingers over the embroidery on a peasant blouse Meredith had bought in Mexico and worn every summer since. The hardest of all was seeing Meredith’s wedding dress, protected in a zippered plastic bag.

  Marla tried to work like an automaton removing the clothes and shoes. There was so much to be done. She thought about calling her mother for help but then thought better of it. She didn’t want to put her mother through it.

  Sean kept his clothes in a spare bedroom closet and Marla tackled it next. She put them in a plastic container marked “Sean’s Clothes.” He might want them, or he might not, but she would give him the option.

  With the clothes out of the way, Marla stripped every bed and put the sheets and bedspreads in large plastic bags. She did the same with extra linens and all of the towels. By lunchtime, all of the closets and clothes drawers were emptied and packed. Marla took Meredith’s jewelry box and put it in her car. She planned to hide it somewhere in her apartment so that Sean wouldn’t see it.

  Once she was back on the road, she called Jada. “I’m going to get lunch for everybody at Shrimper’s, unless you’ve got other plans. Is Derrick there?”

  “Yes, he’s here,” Jada said. “Shrimper’s sounds good. I’ll tell him.”

  “Jada, I was thinking of asking Derrick if he could go over to the house with me tomorrow and the next day to help me. Do you think he’d be okay with that?”

  “I’m sure he would be,” Jada said. “We don’t have any deliveries or anything this week and he can stop the stuff he’s doing with the furniture here.”

  Thirty minutes later, Marla walked in the shop door with four shrimp baskets with hushpuppies and French fries. Jada came up to help her and they put the baskets on the desk. “Hey, Derrick,” Marla said as he walked through the door. “I brought lunch.”

  Jada and Derrick each picked up a basket and went outside to the courtyard to eat. Marla went up the steps with the baskets for her and Sean. “I’ve got lunch,” she called when she opened the door. Sean came around the corner and sat at the table. Marla sat with him and they began to eat the fried shrimp.

  “I know it must’ve been terrible for you today,” Sean said. The spark had gone out of his eyes and he was unsmiling.

  “It wasn’t easy,” Marla said truthfully. “But I got a lot done. I think I can get it taken care of in the next couple of days.”

  “I know it’s not fair that you’re doing everything. You’ve always done everything.”

  Marla put down the shrimp she was about to eat and looked at Sean. “This isn’t about fairness or anything like that. She was my sister and I consider it an honor to do this. Merrie would want me to do this. She would want to lessen your pain, I know that. She knew I could do it.”

  “And she probably knew I couldn’t,” he said.

  “What she knew is that it would be too hard for you. She knew that and that’s why she asked me to look after you.”

  “She did?” Sean said, surprised. “She asked you that?”

  Maybe Marla shouldn’t have told Sean that. She thought it might reassure him, but maybe it didn’t.

  “Is that why you’re doing everything?” he asked.

  “No, that’s not why I’m doing everything. I’m doing what I want to do.”

  “Is that why you’re. . .” His voiced trailed off. Then he looked directly at her and said, “Is that why you’ve been with me?”

  She knew what he meant by that. He wanted to know if that’s why she was
having sex with him.

  “Absolutely not!” she said emphatically. “I’ve been with you because I care deeply about you. It just happened naturally, maybe because we’re both grieving and found comfort in each other. I don’t know. I just know that it’s real for me.”

  He nodded.

  “The rest of the world may think it’s wrong, but I don’t think that Merrie would think that. I think she would want us to find comfort and love. I really believe that.”

  “I believe that too,” he finally said. “If I didn’t believe that, then I wouldn’t be doing it.”

  Marla walked around to where Sean was sitting and put her arm around his shoulders. He took her other arm in both of his hands. After a few minutes, Marla said, “I’m going back down to the shop for a little while. Will you be all right up here?”

  “I think so,” Sean said. “I just didn’t realize how hard it was going to hit me going back to the house. I’m going to get better, I promise.”

  “We’ll get better together,” she said and walked down the stairs.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Marla and Derrick worked on Sean’s house for the next two days, packing all of the kitchen in one morning. That was tougher than the clothes. Meredith had loved to cook. She was one of those natural cooks who threw things in without measuring and made up her own recipes. Marla should have paid better attention to that, should have asked more questions.

  Cynthia called on one of the packing days and Marla had no choice but to tell her what was going on. Cynthia wanted to help, but Marla encouraged her not to. She said that everything would be in storage if they wanted anything, and Cynthia surprisingly agreed. Marla knew she wasn’t ready to face the emptying out of her dead daughter’s house.

  Derrick arranged for a large climate-controlled storage room on the edge of town, and on the third day of packing, the movers came. In and out of the house they went with sofas and beds, tables and chests of drawers. Then they packed the labeled containers and drove off with Derrick to the storeroom. Marla stayed behind and cleaned every room, vacuumed and mopped every floor, wiped down every countertop. And it was done.