Sleepless Nights

by Amanda Heath

  Two

  Ashley

  When I got home from school that day, I had my first letter from Victor. I ran up to my room to read it before I did anything else.

  Ashes,

  With this letter, I bring the dust of Iraq to you. Talon says Hi and that he misses you. We both know that is a lie because he has me all to himself. I just wanted to say that I love and miss you…so much. I think about you all the time and I hope you’re doing okay without me. I know you are, but hoping is a good thing. Like I hope you aren’t getting into any fights, though that shouldn’t be a problem because no girls are hitting on me over here. The one important thing I wanted to write was to tell you to get out. I know we stayed cooped up in our own world for as long as we can remember. Go out and make friends. Go out and get drunk. You don’t need me for any of those things. Just remember to bring mace in case some drunk asshole doesn’t understand the word no. Go to the movies. Go to the beach by yourself. Do things you never got to do because you were hanging out with Talon and me.

  Love you forever,

  Victor

  I want to say tears were streaming down my face and I was so in love with him I could die. Well, that’s not what was happening. I was mad. I never got to do any of those things because he didn’t think they were fun. He wouldn’t even do them for me. Now he wants me to go and do them by myself? What a load of shit!

  I refold the letter and throw it on the floor. I go to my closest and fish out a lacy tank top and a pair of cute shorts. I change quickly and put on some strappy sandals. I pass Court and Annabella in the kitchen. They are both doing homework but nudging each other with their elbows. I want to stop and tell them to go out and get their own friends. I want to tell them being as close as they are isn’t healthy. But I don’t because that would make me hypocritical.

  I jump into my vintage Camaro. I bought it off a friend of the family a year ago. I spy the picture of Victor I’ve taped to the dashboard and I study his face. Much like his sister, his hair and eyes are this unusual honey color. It’s actually kind of freaky the first time you see it. He’s wearing his best smile in the picture but I don’t feel its usual affects this time. Maybe without having him around, his affect over me is wearing off.

  God, I hope so.

  I start my car and head out of my driveway. I drive around until I can’t stand it anymore. I don’t have anywhere to go or anything to do. I find a movie theater and park in the lot. I see the movie times from the car but nothing peaks my interest. Instead, I climb in the backseat and curl up into a ball.

  I guess I must have fallen asleep because the rocking of my car startles me awake. It’s dark outside and I guess the person breaking into my car can’t see me through the tinted windows. I want to scream but I don’t. I just quickly grab my purse out of the front seat and get my mace out.

  Whoever it is finally gets the jimmy to work and climbs in the front seat. My head is behind the driver’s seat so I slowly lift my head, trying to see who is stealing my car. All I can see is a hoodie. Great.

  Instead of spraying the mace in my car where it could hurt me as well, I reach out quickly and knock the rearview mirror to the right so whoever this is can’t see me. Then I put my mace up to their temple sideways, pretending it’s a gun. “Tell me who you are and where you’re taking my car, or I’ll blow your brains out.”

  The person laughs and I can tell it’s a guy. “Go ahead. Shoot me. You’ll die too. I’m drivin’ down the highway.”

  I sigh because I know that voice. I’ve only heard him speak a few times but it’s like the sound of him is imprinted on my soul or whatever. “I guess we’ll sort this out when we get to your dad’s.”

  Damien turns to face me and blanches. “Fuck Glossy! Why were you in the backseat of your car?”

  I roll my eyes and climb over the front seat. “Because I was. Just shut up until we get to the shop, please.”

  He sputters and looks at me, then to the road and back again several times. “Do you realize how dangerous that was? You could have gotten hurt if it was someone else!”

  “No, if it was someone else this car would have already been wrecked. And it would be full of pepper spray.” I cross my arms over my chest and lay my head back against the seat. Lights flash in and out of the interior while I stew in my anger. I can’t believe this jackhole was trying to steal my car. He’s lucky I like his dad or I would beat him to death.

  It takes about twenty minutes until we pull up to the garage. Damien tries to talk to me a few times but I ignore him. I could have done a lot of things to get my car away from him, but this is the easiest way. Plus, I need to send a message. I can go over Damien’s head and straight to his father.

  Lots of men hang around the shop in leathers as I step out of the car. Pantera plays over the speakers and I smile because I like this song. I don’t see Blade hanging around so I jump up on the hood of my car and relax. Damien stops and lifts a brow at me but I ignore him some more.

  I don’t know much about motorcycle clubs but I do know what I’ve heard around town. You don’t disrespect a guy in this club unless they disrespect you first. Plus, I’m not all that scared because I know I could weasel my way out of anything. It’s how I survived the first eighteen years of my life.

  Damien heads out a back door and returns ten minutes later with Blade. Blade is a tall man with wide shoulders and badass-looking long blonde hair. His eyes light up when he sees me. He stops in front of my car and smirks. “When he told me he stole a car with a chick in it, I should have known it was you.”

  “Well he stole a vintage Camaro I bought from you last year. You’re not in the market of stealing your sold cars back are you?” I tap my fingers against the hood, as the room grows quiet.

  “You know her Pop?” Damien asks, disbelief in his voice.

  “She’s a friend of the family.” He steps closer to me and leans down. “I don’t know what my boy was thinkin’, but he didn’t know I sold you this car, Ashley.”

  I smile real big at him and jump down. “I know. He seemed real surprised to see me in the car.” I wrap my arms around Blades waist and let him squeeze me for a second. “If you don’t mind, I gotta get out of here. My mom has me on a curfew still.” I wrinkle my nose like this annoys me but really it’s never been a problem before.

  “Sure thing girl. Sorry about the confusion,” Blade answers on a chuckle.

  I look over at Damien who wears a scowl on his face. “You should really check and see if anyone is in the car first. Might save you a lot of hassle.” Then I wink at him before climbing into my car and driving away.

  I didn’t look to see the hatred written across Damien’s face or see the revenge in his eyes.

  Damien

  “What the fuckin’ hell were you thinkin’?” Pop yells at me while pacin’ back and forth in front of me.

  I roll my eyes. Yeah it’s disrespectful but he doesn’t see me so I figure it’s like it never happened. “I saw a nice car that I wanted so I fuckin’ took it, just like I been doin’ for the past five months, Pop.”

  Pop stops pacin’ and glares at me. His deep blue eyes have sparks flyin’ out of his sockets. “I know I should let you off the hook because you didn’t know that I fixed that car up for Ashley, but it’s really hard. I want to strangle you until you pass out and then smack some sense back into you.”

  I widen my eyes at that. “Little extreme. You said to pop cars that would make us money so that’s what I fuckin’ did. That car is worth a lot of money and now I’m kinda pissed you just gave it away.”

  “That girl is like another daughter to me. Her dad was a lifelong friend of mine. She deserved somethin’ good for herself after the life she’s lived. You look at ‘er and you think she’s happy and livin’ life her way but she’s not. She’s the most miserable teenager I ever been around.” Then he turns to face the window, lookin’ outside of the shop. “I didn’t just give it away, I sold it to her. Yeah, the price mighta been cheap but I
still sold it to her.”

  His words make a pain appear in my chest. Not about the car but about Ashley. I never thought the chick looked happy. She always looks like the world is about to fall on her shoulders. Makes a man want to fix all her problems so they can get in her pants. I rub a spot over my heart hopin’ the pain will go away. I don’t wanna start feelin’ that way about Ashley. I’m super pissed with the bitch right now.

  “If you’re so damn close with her, why haven’t I ever met her before?” I question, squintin’ my eyes at him. His long blonde hair falls around his shoulders and not for the first time in my life, he reminds me of a vikin’. And if he was actually a vikin’, he’d be at the bow of the ship directin’ everyone around before destroyin’ some poor village.

  Pop sighs and leans against the wall. “Because you would be all over her and she’s been fuckin’ some douchebag since she was fifteen. I love all my kids just the same, even the ones that aren’t my blood, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna fuck with their lives. She makes her own choices, just the way you do. I don’t like her boyfriend but he ain’t abusive and he mostly treats her right. I ain’t lettin’ you go off in there changin’ her mind. Her momma would have my head.”

  “I ain’t ever seen her with a boyfriend,” I mutter, steppin’ backwards until I hit a nice cherry red mustang I popped a week ago. I lean against the red beast and cross my arms over my chest.

  Pop scrubs a hand down his face and meets my eyes. “You wouldn’t. He left for Iraq shortly before she transferred to your school. He’s best friends with the Governor’s son.” He says that like it explains it all, and he wouldn’t be wrong.

  Victor fuckin’ Gage. I know the name, though I don’t know the face. I’ve only seen Talon in passin’ when Pop had meetin’s with the Governor and I tagged along. But Pop bein’ who Pop is, I know lots of things about Victor and Talon. Those two think they are smart and stayin’ out of the limelight but they got a lot of people in a tizzy.

  Talon and Victor like to fuck with the mob. Small time stuff, like beatin’ up their drug dealers and vandalizin’ their property. But their names got picked up by the mob and the mob ain’t happy. I figure that’s why both Victor and Talon got sent to Iraq so quickly. I don’t think they’ve been out of basic trainin’ for all that long.

  “So Ashley Southerland is a lot more complicated than she looks,” I state, scrubbing my own hand down my face. Their goes my dream of fuckin’ her against that sexy ass car of hers.

  “You think about talkin’ to her or gettin’ in her life, you keep the shit you know to yourself. She don’t know what Victor and Talon are up to or why they joined the army. Victor, even with all his other faults, he loves that girl and he kept a lot of shit hidden to protect her.” Pop moves away from the wall and stretches out his arms. “Let’s hit the kitchen. I’m fuckin’ starvin’.”

  I watch him walk away from me and I move away from the car to follow. My body may be with Pop but my mind is with Ashley. I knew she was hot and I wanted to fuck her but now I wanna know her. I want to find all the things inside of her that make her tick. I want to know why Victor wouldn’t tell her the things he hasn’t. Those are some pretty big fuckin’ secrets to have.

  I ain’t gonna tell her though. It’s not my business to fix her relationship with her old man. No, it’s my business to take over where he left off. If I have a chance at Ashley, I’m gonna take it. No second thoughts or second guessin’ myself. I want her in my bed and in my life.

  I just have to get her on board.

  Three

  Ashley

  For the next few days, whenever I saw Damien in the hallways, he would glare at me. For some reason he’s blaming me for the fact he stole my car and got into trouble with his dad. If he had looked real close he could have seen me in the back of the car. I mean who steals a car and doesn’t check to make sure it’s empty. I was parked in a movie theater parking lot. I could have been making out with somebody in the back. But I guess Damien doesn’t know how to use his common sense.

  I did seem to make a friend and I didn’t even realize it. Her name is Lola Montez. She is this quiet Latina girl in my art class. I wasn’t real sure why she started talking to me¸ but I quickly figured it out.

  Lola has a huge crush on Ryan Daniels, Damien’s younger brother. Apparently I’m the focus of a lot of talk in the Daniels social circle. They had never heard of a girl coming between Blade and Damien. But Damien didn’t know how I knew Blade or that he was a father figure in my life a long time ago.

  I guess Lola thinks hanging out with me will make Ryan notice her. What she doesn’t realize is, Ryan already knows she exists. I see him staring at her whenever she isn’t staring at him. His problem? No idea. He’s hot; she’s hot and hot for him. It’s the same as one plus one equals two.

  Today it’s been three days since the car incident and today is when Damien’s anger came to a head.

  So I’m just standing there in the hallway at my locker, minding my own damn business. The guy at the locker next to me was checking out my butt but that couldn’t have been what pissed Damien off. I was literally about to smack the guy when Damien strode up. “I heard somethin’ interestin’ about you.”

  I gave him an annoyed look and slammed my locker door shut. “I’m sure you’ve heard lots of interesting things about me. About five percent is true.”

  I go to walk around him but he stands in my way. His eyes flash at me with menace. “Well I’m pretty sure what I heard was true.” He leans in closer to whisper in my ear. Something I’m coming to understand he does to get a rise out of me. “Your boyfriend seems to like his male best friend more than he does you. I mean he even followed him off to war. Seems a little silly to me.”

  I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to hear the words. It’s one of those insecure thoughts I’ve had myself. If Victor loved me so much, why did he leave me here to go off with Talon? He has money; he could go on adventures with me. “Shut the fuck up,” I snarl back at Damien opening my eyes to get a good glare in.

  Damien smirks and puts his hands on my shoulders. “It’s okay Glossy. It’s not your fault he doesn’t love you. Oh wait, it is. Who could love a crazy bitch like you?”

  There is one thing I hate more in life than my dead stepfather, and that’s being called a bitch. I don’t even think before I throw my fist right into Damien’s eye. He stumbles back and stares at me with a wide-open mouth. “You’re fuckin’ lucky I don’t hit girls, bitch,” he spits out around his shock.

  I close my eyes and grit my teeth. I’m not going to hit him again. I swear that I’m not. “Do. Not. Call. Me. A. Bitch!” Then I jump at him but he catches me around the waist, breaking our tumble to the ground on his back. He quickly grabs my wrists before I can deck him again.

  “You know, I like a girl who can stand up for herself.” He smiles around his words, giving me a view that steals my breath. It’s like angels have come down and cleared a path to heaven, he’s so beautiful when he smiles.

  “The sexual tension between you two is killer.” I wretch my head up sharply and meet another pair of dark blue eyes. Ryan smiles widely and puts his hands on his hips. “Righteous.”

  “Ms. Southerland, Mr. Daniels, in my office now,” Principal Farah states from a few feet away. This is about the time I realize I’m straddling Damien and something got happy in his pants.

  “Oh gross.” My face cringes up and I almost knock over Ryan when I stand up as fast as possible. “Put that thing away, Damien. No one in this hallway wants to fuck you.”

  “Ms. Southerland!” Principal Farah screeches, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards her office.

  Damien gets to his feet with help from Ryan. His eye is red but not swelling, so he might not have a bruise. Lucky bastard. He hurries to catch up with us and I sneer at him when he gets too close to me. “Glossy, we have got to do this more often. You’re drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy.”

  “Back the fuck off! I’ve had it with y
ou. Just leave me alone and maybe I won’t break your face again!” I scream for the entire world to hear but I don’t care. They say Damien’s road name is Rage, but I honestly feel like they should be calling me that.

  He just smirks and walks around me to lead the way to the principal’s office. I pretend I’m not watching his ass.

  ***

  “You’re both eighteen years old. You’re both way too old to be acting this way,” Principal Farah tells us a few minutes later.

  “He shouldn’t even be here. He didn’t use foul language or hit anyone,” I mumble, crossing my arms over my chest and glowering at the principal.

  “It was really all my fault. She pissed me off a few days ago, so I decided to piss her off more. It got out of control but I know she’s sorry.” I turn to look at Damien right as he turns to look at me. We both give each other “WTF” looks.

  “I called your father, Mr. Daniels,” she says to Damien. “I tried to reach your mother, Ms. Southerland, but I wasn’t able to,” she then said to me but I figured she wouldn’t get Mom on the phone.

  “Well, she is a nurse who works with surgeons all day long. You probably won’t reach her until tomorrow. Think she had a heart transplant today.” I’m not sure if that is true. My mom doesn’t really pay attention to me anymore, not since I grew up and moved out of the house. I did move back in but that’s because I wasn’t raising Victor’s little sister, the she-devil.

  “Regardless, the older Mr. Daniels has asked me if he can take care of punishment. Since detention is filled up for this afternoon, I decided to take him up on the offer. It will count against your grades and you will be suspended if you miss his punishment.” She stands up and heads toward the door to her office. “Mr. Daniels would like for both of you to meet him at the Wrath MC clubhouse after school. Seems you’re both on dish duty. Have a nice day children.”