Sleepless Nights

by Amanda Heath

  That’s why standin’ here watchin’ Ashley dance with one of her brothers, I know I’d do anythin’ for her. She’s swingin’ around smilin’ like it’s the happiest fuckin’ day of her life. I think it’s Van she’s with but I’m not sure. He and that other one, the one with the girl name, look alike. I guess it don’t matter anyway, all three of them are tools. It’s hard to believe the girl I know came from the same people as them.

  I nod at Ryan who’s sittin’ at the bar drinkin’ beer and watchin’ his girl play the drums. His eyes are never far from her if she’s in the same room with him. He’s been doin’ that far longer than they’ve been together. I think he thinks someone is gonna come out of the shadows and kill her. He still can’t wrap it around his head that she can take care of herself. That’s where they differ in their relationship. Lola has proved herself capable of bein’ a badass. Don’t know anyone who questions that shit but for Ryan’s dumbass. But you can’t tell that stubborn shit anythin’.

  Ryan and I head to the stairs that lead to the catacombs. We don’t speak to anyone as we walk. Pop already gave his go ahead to get this done. I know the rest of the brothers aren’t gonna agree with this but it’s not up to them. We have rules to follow and people we can’t piss off.

  The Governor wanted Talon tied up down here for four days. We’ve reached the end of those four days. Pop and the Governor are pretty tight considering they both want to clean up this city. Talon was gainin’ too much attention so his dad decided he needed to be punished. So he sent him to us and we locked him up in the basement. It’s just a bonus to beat the shit outta him. Plus, lettin’ Ashley see him like that, well, I’ll just say that had to hurt his pride. I don’t know what Ashley’s told you, but it’s not the truth. Probably because we didn’t tell her the truth to begin with. Well, not the whole truth.

  Victor, Talon and Bastard were the ones to fuck up that whorehouse. Talon is a strange creature but he’d give the shirt off his back to a homeless man. Ashley doesn’t have a very good impression of him but that’s because Talon didn’t want her to.

  That goes into a lot of other bullshit. You see, he had a thing for Ashley, but I can’t blame him for that. She’s a girl who loves with her whole heart. Talon wouldn’t step on Victor’s toes so he made Ashley not like him. Which I guess makes him a good person. Victor on the other hand turned Ashley’s love for him against himself. Victor knew that Talon didn’t have the best home life. Not that the Governor and his wife are bad people, more like Maggie, the little sister, was causing a lot of tension.

  Talon asked Victor to keep what they were doin’ all those nights to himself. Victor agreed because Ashley shouldn’t have been involved anyway.

  So yeah, it turns out Talon and Victor have been doin’ this for years. Goin’ to the whorehouses whether they were owned by the mob or the gang. The club, we just transport. We don’t deal and that, thankfully, got us left alone. No one wants the son of the most powerful man in Texas to come huntin’ for you. The Governor doesn’t deliver death easily or fast. You’d suffer for weeks and he proved that when he took out the gang that got his daughter addicted to drugs.

  Where does Bastard come into all this? Yeah, you guessed it, Bastard is Talon’s brother. Seems the Governor used to step out on his wife, but most of them politicians do.

  Ashley thinks Bastard is gay but he wants people to think that. I know he’s not because I’ve walked in on him fuckin’ a female. A female that was all female if you know what I mean.

  I think he doesn’t want to get too close to the wrong person. If it got out about his paternity, bad things could happen to a lot of people. That’s why he’s with us. He can hide his real name and be whomever he wants. That’s why a lot of the brothers are with us.

  But to sum it all up, Bastard, Talon and Victor were jumped by the mob. They got the shit beat out of them and since Victor belonged to no one, he was taken. Before this, the mob blew up Chutney’s old limo and tried to make it look like Talon and Victor did it. Little did the mob know Bastard was in on that shit.

  Now they do know and they aren’t happy. They can suck a dick though. Wrath’s run this town and it’s gonna stay that way. We poured blood and sweat into this city. We take care of those who can’t take care of themselves. We give back and we have loyalty.

  The mob steals girls out of their homes and sells them. The mob gets high society bitches addicted to pills and other drugs just for shits and giggles. They gun down people they don’t like in the streets, lettin’ innocent people get killed. Plus the million other horrible things they do.

  Dallas welcomes us with open arms. Dallas is terrified of the mob.

  I think you know where this is goin’. There’s about to be a war and we’re about to clean this city up. No more of the bullshit. We want our city to be clean and we want our city to love us. We’ll protect Dallas until the day we die out, if that ever happens.

  ***

  “Yay! Is it time for me to get out of this hole?” Talon mutters when we enter his cell. I personally don’t like Talon. I think he’s a douchebag just like his BFF. He’s too unsafe and a wildcard most of the time. We weren’t really sure he would tell Ashley the things we needed him to. But thankfully, he came through for us.

  Now it’s time to get his ass out of here.

  Ryan walks to the pole Talon is chained to. The Governor wanted Talon to learn a lesson. While what he did was admirable, it was also dumb as fuck. People got hurt because of what he did. While his heart was in the right place he should have thought it through more.

  Ryan unchains him and Talon stands up stretchin’ his muscles. He looks up at me and I sneer. “Can I ask you a quick question?” Talon moves closer to me and I take a step back. I punched him a few times and I don’t feel like explainin’ to Ashley why I have a black eye.

  “No,” I answer, stoppin’ at the wall across from the door.

  “Who’s the voice of the angel?” Ryan and I both bunch up our eyebrows.

  “What?” I ask on a bark. This guy has lost his mind and I really don’t want to be around him.

  “The chick who’s been singing up there? Sometimes I can hear her.” Talon rubs his wrists where the cuffs rubbed his skin raw.

  Ryan growls and I take a step closer. “You forget whatever you heard. She’s off limits to you. Now get the fuck outta here.”

  Talon raises both eyebrows and somethin’ clicks in his eyes. “Well that explains that.” He walks as close as possible to me without touchin’, to exit the door. “I’ll be seeing you guys.” Then he takes off in the opposite direction that we came.

  “There ain’t somethin’ right in that guy’s head,” I mutter as we head back up to the surface.

  “Think we’ll need to keep an eye on Chutney. He’s got a thing for her voice, wouldn’t want him to see her in person.” Ryan pulls his smokes outta his back pocket and lights one up.

  “Chutney has better standards than that.” I don’t smoke but I steal his smoke anyway and take a drag. Sometimes you just need to smoke a cigarette. I don’t like what came out of Ryan’s mouth. I don’t like anyone bein’ interested in my baby sister.

  Pop is waitin’ for us at the door when we emerge. “It done?” he asks, watchin’ me smoke the cigarette. “What he say to you, boy?”

  Ryan laughs and lights another cigarette. “Talon asked who the voice of the angel was.” Pop looks confused so Ryan explains. “He could hear Chutney singin’ down there sometimes. Wanted to know who it was.”

  “Jesus Christ,” he grunts out, his face screwin’ up in disgust. “Just what we need, the Governor’s son with the hots for my baby girl. Fuck that shit.”

  Ryan and I nod our heads in agreement. “I’ll talk to Bud about keepin’ an eye on her at school,” Pop mutters and then rushes off, probably to do just that.

  Lola comes runnin’ up from nowhere and throws herself at Ryan. He has to take a step back on impact but luckily he keeps her from falling on her ass. “Baby, I’m fucki
ng drunk!” she shouts and then her tongue is goin’ into his mouth.

  Fuckin’ gross.

  I walk away from them lookin’ for a head of long black hair and an ass that won’t quit. I find her sittin’ at a table with Charlie and his old lady. They are either talkin’ about somethin’ interestin’ or Ashley’s drunk.

  When I get to the table Ashley looks up at me and I can tell from her eyes she’s sober. “You know, I thought you were full of shit but it’s nice to find out for a fact.” Then she smiles and my heart stops.

  In fact, every time she directs that smile at me, my heart stops. I don’t know how I got so fuckin’ lucky that a girl like her fell for me. I pray to God every second that I don’t screw it up again. “How am I full of shit?”

  “You didn’t sleep with all the club whores. In fact it sounds like you were being a choir boy.” Then she taps her finger against her chin and smirks at me. “But I kept telling Charlie you aren’t a saint.”

  I give her a small smile and grab her hand. I ain’t havin’ this conversation out here for everyone to hear. I drag her down the hall towards our room. Fuck that sounds good. It ain’t been our room in five fuckin’ years. And it’s hard to believe that the night before last was my last sleepless night. No more tossin’ and turnin’. No more reachin’ for Ashley and she ain’t there. No more dreams of her fuckin’ my brains out, only for me to wake up and it not be true.

  When I see our door, I shove her against it. My cock gets rock hard at the excitement and desire in her eyes. “I fucked a few chicks when we weren’t together. And that was to scratch an itch. I thought about you each time, because they couldn’t get me off on their own,” I whisper against her lips.

  She moves her head away from me and I growl thinkin’ she’s turnin’ me down. “I didn’t fuck Victor all over our apartment. I never even took him there. And truthfully, I didn’t have sex with him all that much while we were together. It made me sick to my stomach.”

  No longer wantin’ to talk about that, I take her mouth as fast as I can. I open the door while I shove my tongue down her throat. She groans around my mouth and I rub my cock against her. It might be hidin’ behind my pants but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t know who we’re kissin’.

  “God you feel so fuckin’ good,” I mutter as my hands go down to remove her shirt. Or should I say my shirt. Her tits bounce as I move her backwards once I drop the shirt to the ground.

  I don’t waste time as I lay her back on our bed; I push the cup of her bra down and suck a nipple into my mouth. Ashley arches her back and groans out my name. I push my hand into her pants and since she’s not wearin’ underwear, my hand meets hot, wet skin. “Fuckin’ wet for me already,” I growl out, lovin’ how turned on she is with just a few kisses. “Gonna fuck this tight, wet pussy.”

  “Fuck…” she trails off as I pump two fingers into her and use my thumb to circle around her clit. When she’s on the edge of comin’, I remove my hand and pull her jeans off. As I stand I take my own off and remove my shirt.

  Once I’m naked I climb back over her on the bed and thrust my cock into her. My favorite part, even back in the day, is when her eyes get all wide at my size. A man could get real arrogant fuckin’ Ashley. “You like this big cock fuckin’ you?” I whisper against her ear as I slowly pump my hips into her.

  “You know I do,” she whimpers as I start to pick up my pace.

  “Best pussy I ever had. Swear to God.” I don’t know what it is about her but I can’t stop talkin’ like a dirty freak when we fuck. I think it’s cuz she always looks surprised and it makes her wetter.

  Her hands are everywhere. In my hair, down my neck, over my shoulders and her nails diggin’ into my ass as she urges me on. I stare down at her, as I do every time, because it’s so fuckin’ beautiful when she gets off. I might have started callin’ her Glossy because of what she was doin’ when I first saw her, but I have other reasons for keepin’ it. Like how her eyes get that way right before she comes. Or how my cock looks after I pull it out of her.

  I’m not picky though.

  I see that look in her eyes when I put my thumb back to her clit. Then she’s saying my name over and over again. “Damien. Damien. Damien.” Her tight passage grips me for dear life and it’s all I can do to hang on. But I don’t.

  “Fuckin’ come all over this dick. God, baby that’s so hot.” I put my forehead to hers as I feel the tingle down my spine. Then I’m fillin’ her up and my hips are jerkin’ in all different directions.

  After she’s gotten up to clean up and returned to me, I hold her as close as possible. I feel like she might just slip away when I’m not payin’ attention. So I guess I better start payin’ attention all the time.

  “Will you sing for me?” she asks sleepily.

  I smile in the darkness of our room. My girl, lyin’ naked in my arms and wantin’ me to sing to her. Never gonna get old. So I sing “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” because it’s my favorite song. That’s why I sang it to her the first time she cried. My mom loved The Beatles. She was always playin’ their songs around the house. She used to comfort me with their songs when I was little, so I sang one for Ashley. Never realized how much it would stick.

  She falls asleep about halfway through. “I love you, baby.” Then I fall asleep myself.

  Thirteen

  “So just like that you took her back?” Bastard raises both his eyebrows. It’s hard to take him seriously with all the bruises and cuts on his face. The man is usually well maintained but it’s like he got up this mornin’ and decided to say fuck it. “You want Victor Gage’s sloppy seconds?”

  I reach up and slap him upside the head. “Shut up about my old lady. We’ll get shit worked out, but yeah we got back together. I’m tired of livin’ a lie. Tired of runnin’ from somethin’ that wasn’t even there to begin with.” Which is true. I’ve followed Ashley around for the last five years. She always looked miserable to me. Even with a huge ass smile on her face. I know what those baby blues look like all lit up with her smile. She never once smiled at Victor Gage like that.

  “Ashley’s a good girl. One of these days she’ll stop bouncin’ between you two.” Bastard holds up his shot glass and tips it into his mouth. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand and stands up.

  “Do you want another black eye? Or a broken nose? Because your mouth is gonna get you there,” I mutter, takin’ my own shot of whiskey and standin’ up. “I can’t even pretend to understand her relationship with Victor. Seems to me it was a whole lot of twisted and fucked up. But she did love the guy so I guess she had her reasons.”

  Bastard walks out the front door of the club with me trailin’ behind him. “The way I see it, Ashley has two sides to her. The one that has to please those around her and be with Victor and actin’ like a fragile flower is what her family wanted.” He stops and turns around to face me. “Then we have the side of her who wants to kick ass and take names. That’s where you come in. She can be that person with you and that’s when she feels safest. She just didn’t know how to merge her lives, so you did it for her, right?”

  I grimace at him and take a step back, hatin’ how he’s so…insightful. “Whatever. You shouldn’t use that college degree against me. It’s not fair.”

  He just smirks at me and turns around to head to his bike. We have a meetin’ with the big man this afternoon. The big man bein’ Barney, the head boss of the Dallas mob. I seriously hate the guy.

  I left Ashley in bed a few hours ago. I figure with the past couple of days she could use the rest. Though I’m almost to my bike when I hear her voice call out to me. I have my eyes on her so maybe that’s why I don’t notice the people around me. Ashley is definitely distractin’ with her swingin’ hips and bouncin’ tits.

  I bunch up my brow at the look on her face as she runs across the lot to get to me. The brothers gathered around outside are yellin’ and screamin’ and right before Ashley gets to me, I see the problem.

  Micah Benito stan
ds on the other side of the fence, a huge rifle in his hand. And he has that motherfucker pointed right at me.

  The second Ashley jumps into my arms I wrap mine around her but she has other ideas. She wraps her legs around my hips and points Lola’s gun at Micah.

  But it’s too late.

  Searin’ pain goes through my shoulder and I nearly drop Ashley. I hear her cry out but I’m in too much shock to pay attention.

  That crazy motherfucker shot me. I seriously can’t believe he shot me. Standin’ in my own yard. That’s a fuckin’ act of war.

  “Damien…” Ashley whispers, jerkin’ me out of my thoughts. I don’t know how I could hear her over all the gunfire and yellin’ but I do. Though I wish I could go back to the moment she first got out here. I would have jumped on top of her. Covered her with my body, but then again that didn’t help her anyway.

  Ashley stares up at me with wide eyes, blood soakin’ her white shirt. It’s hard to believe that the bullet went through me and into her. “Baby…”

  “No!” screams Lola, who rushes towards us only to be pulled to a stop by Ryan.

  Ashley’s hand goes limp in mine, all her blood pooled around us. “No baby…no. Stay with me,” I whisper, leanin’ my forehead down on hers. Then I sing our song to her. I do it softly, the words ripped from my throat.

  It escapes my notice the things goin’ on around me. I’m either in shock or my soul has left my body along with Ashley’s. Because if she’s dead, I know it’ll only be a matter of moments before I go to.

  I can’t live without her.

  “Son…” Pop’s voice echoes in my head and I lift my head to see him. “You gotta let the paramedics get her. You need to go with ‘em too,” he says calmly and in control. Nothin’ on him is out of place, but then again, he’s the club prez, he learned control at birth.