Pain

by Amanda Mackey

  I was no therapist but I knew how much the animals we cared for helped me to put things in perspective. Maybe after a while they would do the same for this jackass—although, that was debatable.

  Chapter Four

  Justice

  My day was brightening considerably. Talk about a pocket-rocket. The little spitfire who had greeted me on the porch had balls—I’d give her that. Feisty. Hell, my adrenalin had been kicked up a notch. I could see we were going to butt heads constantly, but I liked that in a woman. There weren’t many around that had the gall to stand up to the likes of me. Timid and shy. Scared. Flighty. Li’l Miss Princess outside was none of those things, or if she was, she didn’t show it. Going eyeball to eyeball out the front when I’d arrived had given me a glimpse of her strong will. Her fight. Almost like looking into a mirror except I knew she didn’t have a patch on me. I was way more than fiery. I was all kinds of fucked up.

  Her tight denim-clad ass hadn’t gone unnoticed either. Oh no. What a fine piece of flesh that was. Something I could definitely sink my teeth into. As for the rest of her, well, call me hard up for having spent the last eighteen months in prison but, damn if her fine tits didn’t call to me too.

  They would fit into my hands perfectly with no wastage. I hadn’t had a woman in way too long. Not that I hadn’t had my fill in between jail stints. That had never been an issue, but while under lock and key, I’d been left to take care of things myself, aside from the time I thought I’d met my maker outside…do not go there, Jus. Let it go. Just let it go, man. That’ll never happen again. Ever. My breathing quickened, and a wave of vertigo seized me at the memory. Dark times that didn’t have any place in my head now. Twisted shards of shrapnel lodged deeply in my brain and I had no idea how to let them go. Fragments of the evil forced upon me, leaching into my very veins, taking up residence within, eventually turning me into a replica of the malevolence. To have dreamt about torturing and killing those that had wronged me surely made me no better than them. Not just ending their lives but imparting revolting acts of cruelty as revenge. The very idea ignited me with joy, and I was certain as all fuck that if I ever got to live out my fantasy I would laugh manically like a monster while I listened to them drag in their last breath.

  A car horn beeped twice, signaling the end of my reverie. I pushed it further down into my subconscious as I sauntered out to the waiting truck to see what awaited me, lighting another cigarette on the way.

  Lil’s annoyed face dragged a smile from me as I climbed in.

  “Five minutes! Not fifteen. What have you been doing? And for God’s sake, put that putrid cigarette out.” She was shooting me daggers of steel, fingers gripping the wheel so hard I was expecting it to buckle under the pressure.

  “You’re not my fucking boss. I believe that esteemed privilege belongs to your father and—” I swept my arm around, “—he’s not here now, is he?” The smart ass inside of me just begged to get loose, so I let it.

  “Wrong!” she bit back. “I am your boss whether you like it or not. My father gave me that privilege before you arrived because he’s got business to take care of, so I suggest you get used to taking orders from a female.” She floored the accelerator, thrusting my head forward like a rag doll. She, of course, had braced herself, being in full control of the vehicle.

  “Jesus! What the hell are you doing? Trying to rip my head from my shoulders? On second thought, don’t answer that.” Both my hands were gripping the seatbelt I’d thankfully pulled across before she decided to go all rally driver on me.

  “Better get used to it. I can drive around this place blindfolded. Been doing it since I was fourteen. There’s a lot you’re going to learn while you’re here, city boy, one of them being that I don’t take shit from people, you included. I was going to take you to meet my father first, but I think we need to bring down that attitude a notch.”

  “Fuck you. I don’t take orders from a girl. In fact, I don’t take orders from anyone. Stop this rust-bucket, and let me out. Now.” My muscles were bulging, ready for a fight. Blood pumping hard. Horny as hell.

  “Oh, I’ll let you out. Not yet, though. Just a little further.” She was sneering at me. The bitch was sneering! Oh, this little woman trying to pull rank with me was going to find out just how much of an attitude I had.

  I studied her some more. Her emerald eyes flecked with yellow stormed furiously, and her pouty mouth that even when pressed firmly together still had a fullness to it that made me think of head jobs and angry kisses, all the while, I wanted to beat the crap out of something.

  Man, I needed to get laid. Just being within two feet of this fiery chick with a “don’t fuck with me” attitude had me aching for some pussy.

  I dragged hard on the cigarette, watching the end smolder brightly as I sucked back the nicotine and smoke. “You think you’re better than me?” I kept my eyes focused on the gates we approached, the truck slowing right down before coming to a stop. Lil reefed on the park brake and opened her door, pausing for a second. I didn’t know if she was going to answer me, but I should have known better than to think she would let that question slide.

  “I don’t think I’m better than anyone. We’re all born equal. We all die equal. It’s what you do in between that makes a difference.” With that she slammed the door shut and unlocked the gate.

  Jumping on my chance to get out of the confined space of the cab, I exited, needing to ditch this circus. I wasn’t interested in her trying to teach me any lessons or attempting to bring my attitude down a notch. She didn’t have any idea what my life had consisted of. No one did except the assholes who had made me this way. The freaking so-called foster parents who were meant to help kids stuck in the system. I’d had none of that. No one got me or tried to understand.

  If I didn’t walk away this very second, I was either going to nail her against the massive fence post attached to the gate or get in her pretty face and show her what real attitude was.

  Walking was the best choice. I strode off. I’d find my own way back to the house.

  “Hey! Where do you think you’re going? You can’t just take off.”

  Pulling my jacket tighter after stubbing my cigarette butt out with my boot, I stalked away. “Watch me.”

  Chapter Five

  Lil

  What a jerk! This was worse than I’d anticipated. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing with this guy or how I was supposed to help him, and now I’d have to go and let my father know that I’d pissed him off already and he was sulking back at the house. Give me an angry tiger any day.

  Sheesh. I was meant to have Justice with me all day. It had so far been around half an hour. My father was going to be disappointed, to say the least.

  Locking the gate again, I drove toward the building where we housed new rescues and, for now, Mia until she had her cubs. It was fully set up with all Dad’s veterinary equipment and holding pens for injured animals. There was also an office that I worked from three mornings per week, taking care of paperwork, phone calls, and so on. I wasn’t sure I would be doing any of that this week if I was expected to help Justice settle in. Hmph! That thought made me grimace. I just couldn’t see him fitting into our environment. He didn’t come across as the compassionate, animal-loving type. I guess time would tell. Right now, I had some damage control to tend to.

  Daniel was the first to greet me. All six foot two of him. If anyone could be described as a sweet country boy with kind blue eyes and an infectious laugh, it would be him. What he lacked in hotness he sure made up for in personality, which is why he worked so well with us. He had a natural way with the animals and was very instinctive, which was such a bonus when working with the big cats. He could sense a shift in their moods and act accordingly even before I could.

  “Hey, Lil. How’s it going?” He was sitting at the desk in the small office and smiled warmly when I walked over and leaned on the counter that divided the cluttered space from the larger room leading to the surgery and encl
osures.

  “Hi, Daniel. Fine, thanks. Good to see you. Don’t tell me Dad has you doing the bookwork?”

  “Haha. Yep. I’m the secretary for now. He’s got things handled with Mia and asked me to man the office. We’ve been getting a few calls coming in.”

  “Oh? Calls about rescues?”

  “Nah. Mainly about getting your dad out to look at sick animals. I’ve been ordered to refer any vet-related calls to Frank Wallace down in Loganville.”

  “Frank’s a good guy. He’ll look after our customers until Dad’s back on board.”

  Daniel looked behind me with a quizzical expression. “Where’s the new kid?”

  I exhaled loudly. “Don’t mention him to me. He’s here. Just not here.”

  “Uh, okay. So where is he? Your dad’s been talking about him a fair bit this morning.”

  “I bet he has,” I mumbled. “Let’s just say the new kid is currently walking back to the house after we, umm, probably got off on the wrong foot.”

  Daniel roared out laughing. “Lil, I’m shocked to hear this. I can’t imagine anyone not getting along with you.”

  He had been working here long enough to know that I could hold my own in an argument and didn’t back down on many things, so I didn’t take his comment to heart.

  “Yeah well, I guess there’s always a first time,” I snickered, turning to go find my father. Daniel was still laughing as I walked down the hallway, checking each door before finding him at the very end in a room called the nursery—although, Mia’s cubs were about to become the first newborns we’d housed.

  The tigress was lying on her side on a makeshift bed. Her head was the only thing that lifted when I entered the room. Dad was sitting on the floor beside her with his stethoscope around his neck, checking her vitals and that of her unborn cubs.

  Mia let out a brisk growl when I neared, but only out of discomfort, not as a threat.

  “Hi, Dad. How are they doing?”

  “Hey, Lil. Mom’s not too comfortable, but the two babies have strong heartbeats. If everything goes according to plan, we’ll be proud new grandparents by this evening. Sooner, hopefully. Labor hasn’t begun yet, but it’s not far away.”

  Dropping to my knees, I put my face up to Mia’s and kissed her. “Hey, girl. You are so amazing. You’re doing a wonderful job. Won’t be long and you’ll be a mama.” She nuzzled me a little before wearily placing her head back down. I kept my hand on the top of her head just to reassure her and then looked to my father to see if I could garner what sort of mood he was in. Not that he was ever really angry or anything, but he’d been stressed over the last few days, so I wasn’t quite sure how he was going to react to the news about Justice.

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah, sweetie?” He took the stethoscope earpieces out and placed them around his neck, turning to me and kissing my cheek before rising.

  “Justice arrived earlier.”

  “He did? Well, why didn’t you bring him to meet me and show him around?”

  “Well, I was trying to but…we kind of had an altercation.” There. I’d said it. It didn’t sound so bad. Altercation downplayed the word argument. Actually, I wasn’t sure it had been an argument either, more like two strong personalities not hitting it off.

  Dad stopped midway to the door. “What do you mean by an altercation, and why do I get the impression I’m not going to like this?”

  Running my hand through Mia’s fur, I hoped she could give me some strength to continue.

  “Lil?”

  “Daaad!” I whined. “This guy is going to be too much hard work. I just don’t think I’m cut out to show him the ropes. He’s getting under my skin already.”

  Dad glanced at his watch. “He hasn’t even been here an hour yet. Don’t you think you should cut the guy some slack until he gets used to us? I mean, he’s come directly from prison.”

  I knew he would say as such. “I know, but…”

  “I need you on this, Lil. I’ve got my hands full here, taking care of Mia.”

  Why I had even came and bothered him, I didn’t know. I should have just returned to the house with Justice. God only knew what he was doing back there. Probably stealing the good silverware.

  “Where is the guy, anyway? Please tell me he’s out in the truck,” Dad asked.

  Oh no. He was so not in the truck. “He stormed off in the direction of the house.”

  Dad rubbed his face in frustration. “I really don’t want to deal with this right now, which is why I left you in charge. I don’t want him left in our home on his own until we can build some trust. You need to get back there and stick to this guy like glue. Please!” That last desperate plea to get me to agree had me sag my shoulders in defeat.

  “Whatever. Do you need me to do any pickups later?”

  “We’re all good until tomorrow. Just get this kid settled in and introduced to the animals. The sooner, the better.”

  The conversation was as good as over so I ambled out past Daniel, who gave me a quick wave while talking to someone on the phone as I cursed my father for making me do this.

  ***

  The house was deathly quiet when I walked through the back door. I didn’t know what to expect, so I strolled through each room until I reached Justice’s closed door. I listened for any noise inside, but there was nothing. I moved back into the kitchen to grab a soda.

  I’d give him an hour of brooding, if that’s what he was doing, and then I was going to get him back outside to meet our four-legged family whether he liked it or not. Dad’s orders. In the interim, I would whip up a batch of cookies and then clean the kitchen. I hated to sit around twiddling my thumbs with nothing to do. I guess the good thing about living where we did was there was always something to do.

  In no time, I was elbow deep in flour, butter, and eggs as I made the cookies from scratch. Sure it was easier to buy cookie dough, but I actually liked the idea of no artificial anything in my food.

  My iPod was cranked up high as I whizzed around the kitchen, bopping out to Katie Perry’s “Raw.” The song resonated with me, considering where I lived and worked.

  Once the cookies were in the oven, I went about cleaning up my mess. It was surprising where the flour had ended up. Not only was it down the front of my shirt and jeans, I’d even managed to get it in the fruit bowl that sat on the counter about three feet away from where I was working. There were clean, fastidious cooks, and then there was me. I swear more of the ingredients ended up strewn around the kitchen than in the actual bowl. But I enjoyed doing it. That was the main thing.

  Thank God for dishwashers. I loaded it up and turned it on and then set about wiping everything down. I was so into what I was doing with the music blaring that I screamed when I backed into someone standing just behind me.

  Spinning around in fright, I was met with a very entertained-looking Justice, sporting a grin that somehow looked out of place on a face that had worn a mask of self-importance since his arrival. Talk about a mood swing.

  The dimples edging his ample mouth changed him from an arrogant son-of-a-bitch into a more relaxed, quite dazzling specimen.

  Both of his large, smooth hands were void of any evidence of hard work. He used them to grip my shoulders to help steady me.

  “Justice! You scared the bejesus out of me!” I blurted, my heart running a marathon in my chest. I pulled my earphones out and stuck them in my pocket with my iPod.

  As if flicking a switch, I watched his boyish, carefree persona change back into a hard shell of protection. With his smile morphing into an overconfident leer, I wondered if I had imagined the brief glimpse behind the façade.

  “Thought I smelled something cooking. Just coming to check out what there is to eat. I wasn’t counting on a floor show, Li’l princess.”

  Pushing against his chest hard so he would release me, I hissed, “Don’t call me that!” For each step I took back, Justice moved forward, keeping me in the danger zone until my butt hit the counter.
>
  He was a storm, wild and unpredictable. His troubled eyes called to my natural tendency to want to fix what was broken. And oh mercy, my gaze was level with his succulent, plump mouth that was glossy with moisture. I could barely hear him as I watched his lips form words that sounded something akin to, “What should I call you, then?” Did his voice just rumble like one of the lions?

  Damn. With the hot stove a mere foot away and this tower of tempestuous, untamed male bearing down on me, I could feel perspiration dribbling down my temples.

  Take control, Lil. Don’t succumb. He’s teasing you. You’ve got this.

  “How about using Lil? Just Lil. Nothing else.” My bravado was letting me down as the seconds ticked away and the smell of his leather jacket prickled my senses. The waver in my voice sold me out.

  His dangerous eyes were locked on, defiantly intense. “Hmm. Nope. Can’t do that. Lil just isn’t enough for you. You’re…more.”

  More? Jesus! I was toast. He’d taken my authority and stomped on it and then thrown it back in my face. Still, I wasn’t one to back down. “Move!” I ordered, a second before the stove timer went off, causing me to jerk again in fright for the second time in as many minutes.

  Justice didn’t even bat an eyelid. He merely lashed at his lower lip with his tongue, slanted his head, and purred, “Saved by the bell.”

  Wasn’t that a fact? Thank God I’d put those cookies in, or I could very well have bitten the hell out of that lip.

  I needed to get my act together fast. As soon as Justice backed away, I was on the move. I sidled to the stove and reached for the mitt that hung on a hook on the rack above and opened the door, pulling the tray out and setting it on the hotplates, needing to do something with my hands. I grumbled out, “Cookies are ready if you want some. Dad wants me to get you out with the animals soon.”

  I couldn’t even look his way. Instead, I pulled out a knife and peeled the cookies off the tray and placed them onto the cooler rack, careful to not break them as I went. At the very least, my grip on the knife was firm. He’d better not get in my personal space again, as I now brandished a weapon and I wasn’t afraid to use it.