Pain

by Amanda Mackey

  “Sure,” he said from somewhere behind me.

  I was a little taken aback that he’d agreed so willingly. “You mean, yes to a cookie or yes to meeting the animals?”

  “Both.”

  “Oh.” Well, what could I say back to that? Was the guy finally coming to his senses? “You’re not going to argue with me?”

  “Depends.”

  “On what?” I turned to face him, trying to ignore the way he was leaning against the opposite wall with both hands folded in front, his head resting back so his eyes were half closed as he surveyed me.

  “On how many cookies you give me.” When he stood up straight and moved forward, I immediately stopped him by placing both of my hands up, still wielding the knife. “Don’t come any closer. You invaded my personal space earlier, and it is out of bounds to you. Only those I deem worthy get to enter.”

  His mouth tipped up, a hint of a dimple appearing. “Oh, and I’m not space worthy? Is that it?”

  “That’s correct, and you would do well to learn it.”

  He saluted me and replied, “Yes, Ma’am.” A challenging glimmer surfaced in his eyes, so I turned my back on it and grabbed a plate from the cupboard, wondering how many cookies I should give him to make him comply.

  Four. I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice any more than that. Stacking them on the plate, I walked a couple of steps and then reached my arm out fully so he could take it without me getting too close.

  “Four? That’s it?” He flicked his eyes to the plate and then back to me as he took it.

  “Like it or lump it.” I placed three on my own plate and stayed in the corner to eat, facing him in order to monitor his movements at a safe distance.

  He sauntered to the table and pulled out a chair, sitting down and shoveling a cookie into his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in a month. Before he’d swallowed all of the first one, he was putting another one in with pure gluttonous greed.

  “Eewww. Manners!” I balked.

  He shrugged. “I haven’t had a homemade cookie since…uh…” He appeared to be really thinking about it as a frown cut into his forehead. “Since…a long time ago.” Shaking it off, he forced another one in, making me nearly gag with his piggishness.

  “You can’t remember the last time you ate a homemade cookie?” I was horrified. Who didn’t make them regularly? Surely in one of his foster homes the woman of the house had baked. Mothers of friends?

  Forcing his chair back, he took the last cookie off his plate and shot me a look that said, “subject is finished,” before walking out the back door, letting it slam shut.

  What did I say this time? Boy, what a Neanderthal. I’d been trying to put in a little effort as far as conversation went, but it appeared that no matter what I said, Justice was going to take offense to it. Better that I just kept my mouth zipped.

  Finishing off my own cookies, I locked the back door and looked around for him. He hadn’t gone far—down the back verandah steps and about twenty feet away. He was standing, scuffing his boots into the dirt, smoking a cigarette, gazing into the distance. He appeared to be attempting to simmer down. Maybe if he spent long enough here, he’d be able to rein in that temper somewhat.

  Who was I kidding? I wanted him gone as soon as possible so I could get back to my normal routine. The kid was obnoxiously annoying. I use the term “kid” very loosely. It was a moniker I tagged most people with under the age of twenty-one even though I was only a kid myself.

  “Hey, we need to go,” I called out, walking to my truck and climbing in.

  He turned to glance at me before swaggering over as if he owned the place already, his mask in place to hide what was really going on inside. I was no psychologist, but it didn’t take a rocket-scientist to figure out so soon that he was hiding behind layers of crap that had been piled on him. Heck, he’d only been here a couple of hours, and I had him pegged already. Let’s see if we could strip back some of those layers by getting him up close and personal with a species that could be far more aggressive and powerful than any human.

  He had the decency to stomp out his cigarette before getting in the truck, so I did my best to set aside my earlier snarky feelings.

  “So, let’s try this again, shall we?” Easing the truck away at a much slower pace than the first time, I could feel him looking at me, so I kept my eyes trained on the dusty road.

  He didn’t speak. Just kept staring. I started to fidget in my seat. It was bad enough that he seemed to fill up his side of the cab entirely and then some, but his energy swirled around me like octopus tentacles. It put me off kilter. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to get caught.

  Pulling up at the lions’ gate, I had come to the decision while driving that Justice would stay outside the perimeter fence today. It was still up close and personal enough for a newbie. The lions needed to sniff him out and get used to his scent without being able to physically touch him. Justice needed to get used to them too. It was quite daunting to be beside a fully grown lion. Most people didn’t understand how big these animals were in real life, and that alone was scary. I was hoping that even with a reinforced, galvanized wire fence separating them he would still get the full experience.

  Turning in my seat after undoing my belt, I found him still focused on me, so I swallowed hard and ignored his obsidian eyes. “I’ve decided to keep you outside the fence. I don’t want to take any chances on your first day. The gate will be unlocked but closed. You are to stay out at all times. Do you understand?”

  I could see him weighing up his options, and it was obviously new to him to take orders from someone a similar age. “And if I don’t?”

  “Then you must have a death wish. This isn’t a game. Those lions are still wild at heart, and if you go in there, I can’t predict what might happen. They are used to my dad and me and the two volunteers but no one else. Most of these animals were mistreated by humans, so they don’t trust easily.”

  For a second, he looked vulnerable, chewing on the inside of his gums. “Yep, well them and me both.”

  This time, it was my turn to stare. His words hit me on a basic level. Could this tough guy really be no different than the rescued animals we were nurturing at The Sanctuary? Had he undergone the same terrible atrocities and was waiting to be rescued? That thought suddenly invoked a sadness within. Had I misjudged him before finding out all the facts? Was I really that much better than everyone else who had labeled Justice as a thug? A shred of shame lodged in my heart.

  “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I don’t know you or your past, just like you don’t know me or mine. Can we just try to get along without arguing?”

  For the first time since we had left the house, Justice turned away. Not before I saw his nostrils flare and one hand clench the edge of the car seat. He was battling something, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to fire up at me again or not. Through clenched teeth, he bit out, “Let’s just do this.”

  Fine. I wasn’t going to add fuel to the fire, so I got out and walked to the gate, not sure if he was even going to get out of the truck. I didn’t care at that point. I just wanted to forget Justice and focus on my furry friends.

  I couldn’t see any of them, so I began whistling and calling out each of their names. “Raj, Titan, Shir, Elsa, Kiara, Ariel, Kesar, Leonie.” I made sure the latch was across the gate, knowing that if it wasn’t, any one of the lions just had to nudge against it and it would open. I walked inside their compound a bit, still within view of my truck, and called their names again. If they were too far away and didn’t come, I would drive around until I found them.

  Justice still sat in the truck but had opened his door. I guessed he was assessing the situation and waiting. Smart move. That told me he had some self-preservation intact.

  My hearing honed in for any sign of life that might signal the lions’ arrival, but I was met with birds chirping and wind rustling the leaves of the nearby trees, so after five minutes of waiting, I decided to drive in and find th
em. It was midday. I knew the lions preferred to eat later in the afternoon. The carcasses I had given them yesterday had been dragged away somewhere else, a couple of bloodied limbs and some stained grass the only sign that they had fed.

  Keeping the gate ajar, I drove the truck through and then closed and locked it again before gunning the engine.

  “Why didn’t they come when you called?”

  It was the most decent thing I think I had heard come out of Justice’s mouth yet. I shot him a suspicious look and was stunned to realize he actually seemed to be genuinely curious.

  “They normally wander a bit at this time of day. There are a few different watering holes scattered around the property. They could be at one of the furthest ones or they may have just gone for a walk. It’s a vast area, and they have free run of around one hundred acres. Same goes for the elephants and tigers. We’ve reserved around three hundred acres for future rescues.”

  “Seems like a waste to me. I mean, why do it? You’re not getting anything out of it. It’s not making you any money.”

  Was everything about money now? Couldn’t humans just do something without expecting a monetary gain?

  “Why not do it? Do the lives of these animals mean so little? Should everyone just ignore their very existence and let them be abused? And I’m getting plenty out of it. Money isn’t everything.”

  “They’re just frigging animals.”

  What the hell? Now he was aggravating me again. I frowned at him hoping to drill a hole through his face with the meanest stare I could muster. “Just animals? How can you even say that? You’re just a person. It doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to live. We all have something to contribute to the planet. This is what I do. Someone has to care. I get a great sense of accomplishment from doing something worthwhile to make a difference.” My blood pressure was about to hit the red zone.

  “Pfft. Waste of time if you ask me.” He had wound down his window and was resting his elbow on the door, his crazy hot eyes that I was trying to hate pinned me momentarily before moving out the window.

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t ask you, so just zip it, will you? It’s people like you who treat these animals in such a way that forces people like me to intervene.” Slowing the truck, I parked and got out, storming away so I could breathe. What a douche! I heard the slam of his door but didn’t care what he was doing. He’d probably decided to walk back to the house again. Well, he would only get as far as the locked gate because I had the key.

  “Oh, people like me? What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? Huh? You think you’re better than me?” I jumped. He was all but upon me, his deep voice bellowing out into the quiet.

  “People like you who don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, that’s who.” I was too annoyed to stop. He needed to be set straight if he was going to fit in around here. His ego needed deflating, and I was just the person to do it.

  He seized my arm and spun me around so that my chest was pushed up against his. He was breathing fiercely, and I could almost see lightning crackling in his eyes. “Don’t ever assume anything about me! I stopped giving a fuck long ago when I was treated the same way as your precious animals. Was there anyone around to save me? No. I had to save myself.”

  Beauty and danger were so relatable to me. I thrived on the fine line between fear and fight. Justice’s attempt at scaring me was no different. A challenging thrill ignited under my rib cage with his tank of a body mashed firmly with mine, his whiskered face looming above. I stood my ground, defiant against his fury.

  Before I could fire back at him, we both recoiled. A low, menacing growl sounded from not far away, signaling the appearance of Raj. I would know the sound of his snarl anywhere. It had a distinct rumble like thunder. I’d been too wrapped up in arguing with Justice to hear his approach. If he was close, the others would also be near.

  Justice stiffened, and his eyes were perfect circles as they focused on the owner of the growl behind me.

  I looked at the truck and tried to gauge how far away we were. Fifteen feet maybe. Shit. I didn’t like where this was heading. Raj was very protective of his pride, and he certainly considered me one of his own. Justice, however, was a stranger, and had me in a threatening grip.

  “Don’t move. I mean it. Do as I say!” I demanded quietly.

  He wasn’t watching me but he nodded ever so slightly, suddenly understanding that these creatures were not just animals. They were aggressive predators when they wanted to be and could rip him apart in a second. Surely that had to garner some amount of respect from him.

  As slowly as I could, I turned while Justice still kept a hold of my arms so that he was now standing behind me.

  The whole pride had crept up on us and were positioned less than four feet away. Raj and Titan stood proud and almighty at the front. Being the oldest of the pack, it was out of respect that the others positioned themselves at their flanks. Both Raj and Titan were baring their teeth and snarling in a frightening display of territorial dominance. I’d never seen them look so angry.

  “Get them the fuck away!” Justice screamed from behind, his voice raised high in panic.

  “Shut up! Keep your voice down. Your yelling isn’t doing anything to help. Now, start very slowly walking backwards, closer to the truck. When I say slow, I mean turtle’s pace. Don’t make any sudden movements, and stay silent.”

  Even I had a twinge of uncertainty inside. Those two big guys up front weren’t playing. They were deadly serious, and I had to hope that we could get near enough to the truck to get safely inside. Justice, at least, so that I could try to calm the pride down.

  Gingerly we inched back, but the lions crept forward. It was always the females that hunted, but in this case, I knew they didn’t want us for food. They didn’t want me at all. They wanted Justice, and they wanted him away from me so they could attack.

  “Raj, Titan. It’s okay. I’m all right. He’s not hurting me.” I lifted a hand, palm facing them in a placating gesture, hoping to keep them from advancing, but they were too focused. Deep grooves cut into their snouts as they gathered their faces in more clipped roars. Drool trickled from Titan’s massive jaws, the pointed canines glinting in the sun painting a horrific picture of pure predatory power.

  “Where the fuck’s the truck? I’m not game to look back,” Justice whispered low in my ear. If we hadn’t been in a life-threatening situation, I probably would have reacted to the rush of air that fluttered against my skin as he spoke. The heaving of his torso against my back. It was far from erotic, though.

  All I wanted was a happy outcome. Why the hell did he have to get out of the truck in the first place? I was going to have words with him when this was all over.

  “Move your head to the side and look out your peripheral vision,” I said.

  I didn’t think for a minute that while Justice was behind me that Raj or Titan would attack. They would have to go through me to get to him. They’d never shown any aggression toward me before, so I was fairly confident that we were safe.

  I could feel Justice turn slightly. “About five feet left.”

  “When you feel the truck behind you, get in and shut the door as fast as you can.”

  “No arguments there. What about you?”

  “I’ll be fine. I just need you out of the picture so I can calm them down. Once you’re inside, get down on the floor and stay there until I say otherwise. Got it?”

  “Loud and clear, princess.”

  This time, I grumbled but didn’t offer him a smartass reply. We were nearly to safety. So close. I needed to stay calm and focused.

  Three of the females, Elsa, Kesar and Kiara had moved out of formation and were stalking outwards at an angle. They were going to surround us and the truck.

  “In five seconds, you need to turn and get into the truck. Don’t hesitate, and don’t look back—just go. Ready?”

  “No, but I guess I don’t have a choice.”

  “Five…four…let go of me now
…three…two…one…move like the wind. Go!”

  Not hesitating, Justice released me, and it wasn’t until I heard the truck door slam that I breathed out.

  I still didn’t move but stood taller to assess my pride. They weren’t silly; they knew the threat was still around. They could smell him.

  It was time to try and finish this. Calling them all by name, I took a step forward, hoping to God I could diffuse the situation. It was time to take charge.

  “Raj! Titan! Come!” For a second, they just looked at me, neither growling nor showing signs of surrender. I stood rigid and pushed my chest out as I did on any normal day. They needed to know that it was still me and that everything was okay. Individually, they were big softies, but all together, they were a force to be reckoned with.

  I kept eye contact with them all and talked softly. “Everything is fine. The threat is gone. It’s just me, guys.” A few half-hearted growls were let out at me, but they were weak at best.

  As soon as I did my whistle that they knew so well, their body language shifted, and they ran to me. Two massive male lions came at me, and I had to stand still and brace myself for the impact I knew was coming. Raj hit me first and stood on his hind legs as if I was his long-lost friend, nuzzling and licking my face while Titan pushed against me with his large, muscly thigh, marking me with his scent. I could barely remain standing but anchored myself to the ground, digging my heels in, using my own body weight to push into Raj slightly like he was doing to me.

  “Hey, boy? What’s with the mood today? Don’t you like our visitor? I guess the feeling is mutual, huh?” Both my hands were clasped around his thick neck as I cuddled him, crooning tenderly. Not wanting to give all the attention to Raj, I pushed him off me and let Titan have a hug. Both his paws came over my shoulders, powerfully yet so gently. His muffled grunts told me the showdown was over and all was well again. Even the females that had been on the other side of the truck had moved around and were waiting their turn. They could see with their very eyes that I was unharmed, and they were happy with that.