Pain

by Amanda Mackey

  I had to hand it to them. They were extremely loyal. Hmm. Maybe I could use that advantage to keep Justice in line. Speaking of which, I peeked over to the truck to see no sign of him. He had obviously done as he had been told and taken to the floor. It brought a giggle from my throat. Such a big, strong, tough guy in his own environment but take him away from all that he had ever known and he was just like the rest of us. Good to know.

  I praised all my furry family, thanking them for looking out for me, even though they hadn’t needed to, and then I climbed into the truck.

  I didn’t start the engine right away. I had a bone to pick with a certain someone who had tried to huddle himself into a ball on the floor and had failed miserably. Half of him was sprawled out on the seat.

  “It’s safe now,” I said, wanting him to sit properly so we could drive out.

  “Jesus! What the hell was that? I could have been mauled to death. Why didn’t you tell me they were coming? Haven’t you got some inbuilt radar or something? You are the animal whisperer, aren’t you?” His harsh tone cut through me like an icy winter. He was blaming me? Oh heck no. That was not my doing.

  “First of all, city boy, ditch the anger. I saved your ass. If you’re going to go all alpha male on me, then how about you just get out right now and join Raj and his pride. They’d love some fresh meat. Secondly, that wouldn’t have happened if you had just stayed inside the damn truck. But nooo, Mr. Tough Guy who thought that these wild creatures were just animals, wasn’t expecting that. What did you think would happen? Did you believe that when they saw you manhandling me, they would walk up and lick you like a kitty cat?”

  His leather jacket creaked as he squeezed his hands tightly at my admonishment, knuckles cracking with the effort. Too bad. He needed to know that this was serious shit, and until he proved that he understood it, I would continue to whip his ass about it.

  “I. Wasn’t. Manhandling. You.” Each punctuated word became more clipped and hostile.

  “Tell that to the lions,” I quipped, turning the key in the ignition and revving the engine to halt his reply. He was quickly draining me. I’d said my piece so I turned the radio up loud and headed back to the gate. We drove for a few minutes in strained silence.

  He was combing his hair with one hand and banging his fist on his thigh with his other. I could tell he was pretty rattled by what happened, so I softened slightly. “Are you okay?” I wasn’t a total bitch.

  “Hell no! That was crazy! Do you have a death wish or something?”

  I chuckled at his naivety. “I know I’m pretty safe around them. I try not to get too complacent, but for the most part, I’m confident they won’t hurt me. Today though, I’ve never seen them like that. You really rattled them.”

  He sank back into the seat, rubbing his face. “Christ. I haven’t been scared like that since…” A whoosh of air escaped him and then he shut his eyes, clamming up. I looked over, waiting on more but his lips were tightly sealed. It was all I was going to get. What did that even mean? He hadn’t been scared like that since, what? Going to prison? I hated only hearing half of something, but I wasn’t going to push it. I was done with him for one day.

  Suddenly, my phone rang. Reaching to the mount on the dash, I pressed call and spoke hands-free. “Dad?”

  “Honey, wonderful news. We are officially the grandparents of one tiny girl and one not-too-tiny boy. Mia is doing fine. I just thought you might want to head over.” The relief and happiness in Dad’s voice was loud and clear.

  “OMG! That’s awesome! We’re on our way.” I hung up, my mood suddenly ratcheted up a notch. I grinned madly, so proud of Mia, not caring about anything else other than seeing the new cubs.

  Chapter Six

  Justice

  Did I have a sticker on my forehead that said “scare the crap out of the dumb prick,” because it sure as shit felt like it? Fuck that. I did not want to come within three fucking feet of those goliath pussy cats ever again. What was it with this place and everyone wanting me to meet the freaking animals? Not interested. No way. I’d been shaking so bad I was sure I was going to crap my pants, and then Li’l princess had come to my rescue, which was making me rethink her title because she certainly was no princess. She was Goddamn Rambo.

  I’d never had anyone save me from anything before. She’d actually put herself in the firing line to protect me. Not even my so-called parents had ever done that. This stranger who I’d only met this morning had put it all on the line for me. I didn’t know how to deal with the odd nauseous feeling in my gut, and I wasn’t sure what it meant. I did know I didn’t like those sensations squirming around.

  I was no pussy and certainly didn’t need or want some female saving my butt. Even one as sexy as the vixen sitting beside me, handling the truck like she’d been born behind the wheel. I watched her mannerisms. Her fingers were tapping on the wheel to some silent song that must have been playing in her head because the radio had been switched off since her cell had rung. Her fucking sexy mouth and fearless attitude was fast putting me into a lust-filled haze. I was barely holding it together. Rage and desire. One and the same to me. The adrenalin from a bunch of over-protective lions wanting my ass had quickly turned into a need so abnormally extreme, it only confirmed the truth. I was a freak. A mental douche-bag who got off on such things. My painfully rock solid cock was proof of that. If I didn’t get some relief, I was going to bust someone’s face open.

  I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes away from her face even as her sensational tits bounced to the rhythm of the truck hitting potholes. When her pink, smooth tongue danced over her lips, I nearly lost my shit. I jammed my knuckled fist into my mouth to stifle a groan. The movement had her turn to glare at me, which only proved to heighten my need.

  “You got a problem, city boy?” Her voice was strangely masculine. It wasn’t masculine in a creepy dude kind of way because I definitely wasn’t into men. You could still pick it as female, but it wasn’t high and whiny like many of the women I’d carelessly screwed. It was lower than that. Sexy as all fuck.

  Shifting uncomfortably, I released my hand from my mouth, only just managing to grind out, “No.” My mind was carrying on its own conversation, begging me to make my move and put out the fire flaming in my loins.

  Thankfully when we rounded a bend we came across a large brick single-story dwelling. Taking the key out of the ignition, Lil got out, not even bothering to look at me but calling over her shoulder as she walked off, “My dad wants to meet you.”

  I tried to think of something that would deflate my erection quickly, so I pictured myself in the cellar, chained up, hungry, and scared. Crying until I lost my voice, my wrists sore from twisting them furiously in an attempt to escape.

  Yep. Instant soft-on. Desire quickly transformed into fury. A simmering cauldron of horrific memories, which I had always fought to keep the lid on. I knew it was just a matter of time before the pot boiled over.

  I followed Lil into the building, my head a quarry of despicable thoughts.

  Chapter Seven

  Lil

  Reception was empty, which meant everyone was with the cubs. I practically ran, not waiting for Justice. He’d just have to find me. All I could focus on was meeting our two new family members and seeing how Mia was doing.

  Dad, Daniel, and Nate were all huddled into the small room, making it feel cramped. When I bowled through the door like a tornado, they all looked up and then smiled. My eyes briefly found all of them and then focused on the flashes of orange and black that peeked through the bodies of the surrounding audience.

  “Hi, all,” I offered half-heartedly, moving toward the focus of my attention. The three men knew how I would be feeling and moved aside to give me full view.

  The two beautiful tiny cubs were nestled into their mother, eyes tightly closed while Mia slept. They were both clean. Mia had obviously done her job as soon as they had been born.

  Kneeling beside the new lives that we had nurtured, I was
overcome with emotion. My eyes welled in the corners, and I had to swallow twice before I could speak. A hand found my shoulder. I wasn’t sure whose it was, but it didn’t matter. It was an auspicious occasion that I was sharing with the three people that meant the most to me.

  “They’re so tiny and perfect,” I squeaked, still not game to say too much through fear of blubbering like a big baby. The hand on my shoulder squeezed before I felt a solid body squat down beside me, leaving his hand in place. Garnering a whiff of the familiar, subtle aftershave, I glanced sideways, my lips nearly swiping over Nate’s.

  He was watching me with a full grin as I pulled back a little to allow some space between us. “It was amazing to see. As soon as they came out, Mia was all over them, sniffing and checking and cleaning them. She’s going to make a great mom,” he whispered to me.

  Pride showed on his face. He loved the animals as much as I did. Who would have thought that a rough diamond could have such a soft heart? Unlike Daniel, Nate hadn’t had an easy upbringing, but he thrived in the environment here at The Sanctuary and had proved himself over and over in all areas of his work. He was handsome in his own right with his mousy collar- length hair, almond-shaped light brown eyes, and square jaw that at present was covered in a three-day growth.

  I knew that Nate had always had a little crush on me, and sometimes I wondered what it would be like to take things further, but I loved him too much as a friend to want to spoil that. Plus, as much as he probably was my type, there was still something missing. A spark. That zing that felt like a shock to the system when we were close.

  Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed movement behind me and turned to see Justice leaning against the door frame, his gaze moving from Nate to me and then back to Nate, who still had his hand on my shoulder. There. That zing right there. The one that made my heart skip a beat. If looks could kill, the fire in Justice’s eyes was enough to have me detonate on the spot. Giving him an antagonizing half-smile, I purposely leaned my head down onto Nate’s arm in an affectionate gesture. He responded by kissing the top of my head.

  A low clearing of the throat sounded, causing everyone to turn and notice Justice for the first time.

  Immediately, my dad was on his feet with Daniel close behind.

  “Hi, son. You must be Justice. I’m Tom. Welcome!” Dad reached out, and I was surprised to see Justice return the handshake. Then again, my father did have a certain way about him that could immediately put anyone at ease. “How are you settling in? I hope Lil has been showing you around.”

  Dad shot me a questioning glance and then turned back to Justice, who pinned me in place with his dark eyes. He cleared his throat again, turning to my father. I hoped he didn’t mention the earlier fiasco with the lions. “Sir. It’s different than what I’m used to, so we’ll just have to wait and see.” Slanting his eyes to me again and holding them there, he added, “Lil has introduced me to the lions. It was…uh…interesting.” His lip quivered for just a second and then stopped.

  I cringed, hoping Dad didn’t push further, but he didn’t get a chance, as Daniel spoke.

  “Hey, bro. I’m Daniel. Nice to meet you. If there’s anything you need, just ask.”

  Justice appeared uncomfortable as if he wasn’t used to people being nice, but he did a fist bump with Daniel and then offered a simple, “Thanks.”

  Seeing as though everyone was introducing themselves, I nudged Nate, who rose and strode over to the others. “Name’s Nate.” Both guys nodded at each other, doing the once-over. It seemed a little awkward, so I turned my back on them and watched Mia and her cubs sleep soundly while I listened to the guy chatter.

  “We’re having a few drinks tonight to celebrate the arrival of the cubs. Nothing fancy, down at the house. Lil’s going to BBQ some steaks and throw together a salad. We’d love it if you’d join us, Justice,” Dad said.

  “Wouldn’t miss it,” Justice answered.

  “Good. Well, Daniel’s about to go home, and he’ll be back later for dinner, and Nate and I are heading out to get some drinks and food. Lil, you and Justice can stay and watch over everything here until we get back.”

  I spun around and saw Dad motion to Justice. “Son, go on over and get a closer look. It’s not every day you get to see tiger cubs less than an hour old.”

  Justice rubbed the back of his neck before jamming both hands under his armpits, appearing to weigh up those words. After his run in with the lion pride, he probably didn’t want anywhere near another animal. Nodding, he inched forward only marginally. Dad caught him on the back with a friendly slap and then left the two of us on our own as everyone else walked out.

  I looked back to Mia.

  “Don’t worry. You’re safe while she’s asleep. Even I’m not sure how she’ll react to me being this close to her babies. It’s hard to tell. She was okay with Dad and the boys, but it could be a whole different scenario with me.”

  “Why is that?” He’d made no effort to move any closer. An easy and quick getaway if needed.

  “They react to each person differently. Even though I trust her implicitly, it’s different now that she’s a mom. She’s going to be extra protective. If she considers me a threat in any way whatsoever, she’ll act on instinct.”

  “You really don’t fear anything, do you?” His gritty voice was doing things to me that it shouldn’t.

  Turning my face toward him, I was thankful he was focused on Mia and not me. The big tough guy looked like he could pee his pants at any moment as he visibly ground his teeth and hovered.

  “I fear people more than anything.” That brought his eyes in line with mine as if I had hit a nerve and he could understand what I was saying. He shifted slightly, the only sound was the crinkling of leather. Lifting his chin he asked, “Do you fear me?”

  Giving him a quick, false smile I said, “Should I?” There was definitely something dark inside Justice that had me on edge. Yet it was with this trepidation that I flourished. Like an adrenalin junkie searching for the next high, I couldn’t help but want to push his buttons to see what I could get away with.

  I thought back to my own troubled childhood. My dad had left my mother when I was seven, and it had really screwed her up. She had hit the booze big time and had turned from a nurturing, fairly quiet woman into a screwed-up mess, downing bottle after bottle of vodka in an attempt to erase her pain. By the time I was eleven, I was getting myself to school, cooking meals, and taking care of her. It was a life I hadn’t asked for but one I had been forced to live. I’d tried so hard to save her from herself, begging and pleading with her to clean up her act—if not for herself then for me. I quickly discovered not all things could be saved. She downed a bottle of pills and half a bottle of straight vodka and was cold and lifeless on her bed when I’d eventually found her.

  That’s when I’d moved to live with my dad, and I’d been trying to make a difference ever since.

  “Yeah, you should.” Justice snapped me out of it as I refocused on his face. Eyebrows drawn together, he was observing me critically.

  I rose, my bravado all show. I’d learned to hide my insecurities well. “Give me one good reason why I should be afraid of you.”

  If he decided to get too loud, Mia would wake up. I was using her as my shield.

  Stopping within two feet of him he made up the distance until we were toe to toe. I had to look up slightly to keep eye contact. He was breathing loudly, his eyes flicking from my eyes to my mouth, backwards and forwards. His hands were still safely tucked under his arms where I was hoping they would stay.

  His nostrils flared, and a vein in his temple appeared out of nowhere. “Because, like your furry friend over there—” his head nudged forward only slightly, “—I bite.”

  His eyes were coal pits, blacker than night, and I didn’t doubt that he could bite, but again, that small part of me that reveled in danger led my brain to keep provoking him. Dangerous and oh-so silly. I knew that. But in the moments of uncertainty, I felt mor
e alive than I ever had.

  That static charge in the air was insurmountable. Not knowing how this would play out was pushing my heart rate well above normal. I was so close I’d probably be able to count his lush eyelashes one by one as they fanned across his eyelids.

  Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed both my upper arms, pushing me into the wall, the ebb and flow of his breath against my lips causing me to hold mine.

  Moving one hand from my shoulder, he placed it around my neck, his thumb squeezing my jaw. Not hard but enough to let me know that he was in control. It forced me to breathe out through my nose. If his grip were any tighter it would have taken much more effort.

  Lips that begged to be kissed were parted and ready. God, they looked tasty. Hormones surged through me, awakening my senses that up until now had been closed off. Kiss me already, I wanted to yell. Animalistic aggression danced in his eyes. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, not even with the big cats. My body was singing the same song as his. My nipples ached and everything below fluttered and swirled in a confused mix of anticipation and alarm.

  His grip was soft yet unyielding around my throat. Moving his head slowly as if to finally put me out of my misery and kiss me, he swerved at the last minute and rasped against my ear, “Don’t tempt the tiger, Li’l princess.”

  Then he removed his grip on me, pushed off from the wall, and stormed out the door toward the exit, leaving me a hot mess, syphoning in more air than my lungs knew what to do with.

  Chapter Eight

  Justice

  I either needed to fuck someone or fuck something up. Both would be good. That crazy bitch was pushing my buttons and didn’t know what she was getting herself in to. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could restrain my pent up yearning for female flesh and that sassy, fierce wildlife warrior wasn’t making it any easier. Christ, she was strong. I’d never come up against a woman who could look me in the eye and call my bullshit. None of my foster mothers were able to handle me. They’d all been so wrapped up in their own pathetic existences that they’d barely even noticed I was alive. Slaves to their dipshit husbands.