An Officer but No Gentleman

by M. Donice Byrd

  “Your hands warmed up.”

  She ignored him.

  “Have you been feeling feverish at all?” she asked, feigning a cool, detached air and rising to her full height to making eye contact with him for the first time since she entered the room.

  With the back of her fingers, she touched his forehead. Her hand lingered there only a few seconds before she touched his cheek over the jagged scar. Gingerly, she stroked his cheek with her thumb.

  Why couldn’t she stop touching him inappropriately? What was wrong with her? She placed her hand behind his neck to feel if he felt hot there as well.

  “You feel a little warm to me.”

  “You make me warm.”

  “I make you mad.”

  Jaxon saw the flash of hurt in her expression. “You drive me mad. There is a difference.”

  Suddenly, his mouth came down on hers. He felt the pressure on the back of his neck increase as she pulled him closer. Her breath was ragged and choppy—fast and shallow.

  Jaxon could not have said why he did it. Perhaps it was the fact he couldn’t forget the kiss from the day before or maybe it was just because it had been so long since he felt a connection with a woman that his baser instincts had taken over. He could still feel the way she had touched his chest the night before as if it was burned into his memory. All night long his hand kept searching out her hand upon that scar expecting it to be there because he could still feel it. How was that possible?

  He had begun to get annoyed when she hadn’t emerged from Daniel’s cabin. The longer it took, the more irritable he became. But the moment he saw her, he forgot everything else, but getting her alone.

  He pressed his body into hers, his strength pushing her back until his desk halted her. Her body bent backwards like a willow over it until her hips were on top. He pulled her knees around his hips and ground his pelvis into hers. Instinctually, she rotated her hips toward him. Through their clothing, she could feel his erection against sensitive area between her legs. She could feel nothing else. Her world had narrowed to the sensation building there as he moved against her time and time again.

  She didn’t hear the pounding on the door and had she; she wouldn’t have known what it meant. She only knew when Jaxon’s thumb brushed her nipple, her body convulsed in powerful waves of pleasure.

  “Go away,” Jaxon shouted at the door pulling his lips from hers, but continuing to grind against her repeatedly.

  “I’ve brought my chest. Open up,” called Daniel from the passageway.

  Jax swore, as he pressed into her one last time. He watched as her eyes opened—they were smoky with passion. “Are you with me?” he asked quietly. He lifted her off the desk to the floor. Her knees started to buckle and he held on to her until she began getting the strength back in her legs.

  “Damn it, Jaxon! I am going to break this door down if you don’t open it immediately.”

  “Hold on. I’m coming.” A knowing smile pulled at the scar on his cheek as he realized he brought her pleasure. He only wanted to kiss her and perhaps arouse her a bit, to tease of pleasures to come, it never occurred to him she would be so responsive.

  “Can you stand?” he whispered as reached for his desk chair. It scraped across the floor loudly and he helped her into it. “Act naturally. I’m going to let him in now. He gave her a quick peck before letting Daniel in.

  “Bloody hell, Daniel. What do you think is going on in here? You’ve only been gone a few minutes.”

  Jaxon turned his back on Daniel and crossed the room. He poured a glass of water and took it to Charlie.

  “We were just discussing Charlie’s need to keep a medical log of whom she treats, when and for what purpose,” he lied smoothly. “She was just about to check my wound when you started knocking. I’m afraid she’s not going to be happy with me when she realizes I’ve pulled a couple of the stitches.”

  She leaned forward in her chair. It was true. The skin around three of the stitches had torn slightly and drops of fresh blood had appeared. It hadn’t been like that when she had examined him a few minutes earlier.

  “I thought I told you no strenuous activity,” she said, her cheeks still flushed with passion. “Luckily, they aren’t bad enough to warrant any further stitches.” She went to the basin, wet a washcloth then dabbed gently at the drops of blood. “Good as new.”

  He liked seeing the blush on her cheek, the ill-concealed smile, the way she glanced up at him when her head was tilted down.

  “I think I’ll see if there is any willow bark in the medical cabinet.” A thought occurred to her. “Do you have a medical cabinet?”

  “In the galley.”

  “Your fever isn’t high, but a little willow bark tea should keep it from going higher.”

  Charlie stopped on her way out. “Oh, I assume you won’t want me to go alone into the fo’c’sle to check my other patients.”

  Daniel didn’t miss her swollen lips or the redness in her face where Jaxon’s unshaven stubble chafed her skin. “I’ll be happy to accompany you after you bring Jax his tea.”

  Daniel carried the chest into the room and closed the door behind him with his foot. He put the chest in the corner under the hammock. Daniel paced the length of the room then turned on his brother. Criticizing the captain of the ship just wasn’t done, even if the captain was the older brother you loved and worried about. If they were going to share the cabin, he didn’t need the whole thing to start off on the wrong foot. But he was also the first mate and he was the only one who dared to speak candidly with him.

  “Don’t say it, Daniel.” Jaxon could feel the lecture coming.

  “Don’t say what?” Daniel’s tone was firm. “Don’t say leave the lady alone? Don’t say you weren’t brought up to treat women like harlots? Don’t say everything your own conscience should be saying to you?”

  “Look, I’ll concede that I think you were right about her being an innocent and my behavior is…lacking. But something happens when I’m with her.”

  Jaxon admitted to himself it had been ages since he’d been with anyone. Was that all that this was; his need for release?

  Daniel had seen this rashness in his brother before. How could a man who was so logical and intelligent be so foolish when it came to women?

  “Jax, I have two words for you. Millie Adams.”

  “Indeed? How can you compare that insipid creature with Charlie?”

  “I’m not comparing them,” Daniel said. “It’s your judgment I question. When you were writing your letters to Millie, did you think you were in love with her?”

  Jaxon speared him with a hard stare. He didn’t want to answer that question. “Aye,” he admitted reluctantly.

  “Looking back now, do you think you ever loved her, truly loved her?”

  He could admit now, it had only been a schoolboy crush. Millie’s beauty was beyond compare and he had an idealized image of her. He spent years writing letters to her, but spent almost no time in her company. If he had, he would have realized she was not the person he thought she was. Having a girl back home to love was what he thought he wanted; it was why he pushed himself so hard. But Millie was the wrong girl. Was this attraction the same? Was he only obsessed with her because she looked beyond his scars to see him? No, whatever this was, Charlie felt it, too, he had no doubt. Whereas Millie was nothing more than a beautiful shell, Charlie was the most fascinating woman he ever met.

  Jaxon stopped and analyzed his last thought. Why did he find her so fascinating? He barely knew her. Maybe there was some truth to what Daniel said. It irritated him to think so.

  “Do you have a point?” Jax asked dryly.

  “You’ve barely met this woman. Maybe what you’re feeling is not real. Maybe you just want it so badly; you’re seeing things that aren’t there.”

  “Millie Adams was a mistake—one that I have no intention of repeating. This is not the same.” Jaxon would never admit to Daniel he had already entertained thoughts of marrying Charlie.
It was insane. He met her less than twenty-four hours earlier, but a voice in him knew she was the woman meant for him. He hoped he wasn’t being rash because he had been so rejected by women since he being keelhauled that he was latching on to the one woman who didn’t see his scars. “I have not convinced myself that I am in love with Charlie. As you said, we have only just met, but I am drawn to her like none who has come before.”

  “Drawn like a moth to a flame?” Daniel asked sarcastically. He knew he was not getting through to his brother. “It’s hard for me to trust your judgment where women are concerned, when you have made such a mess of it before.”

  He slammed his hand down on his desk. “I do not need a nursemaid, Daniel!” Jaxon raised his voice and could feel the scar on his forehead pull as his brow knitted. “We are finished discussing her.”

  “We are not finished discussing this by a long shot,” Daniel shouted and stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest.

  “It’s bad enough I have to tell Aunt Pru what happened to Jimmy; don’t make me tell Mother what happened to you.” His shouts were louder than Daniel’s.

  Daniel and Jaxon stared at each other, neither one understanding how the conversation had grown so heated.

  Daniel shrugged holding his open palms up. “I never thought a woman would come between us,” he said. He picked up the sea chest he just placed under the hammock minutes before. “Good luck. I hope it all works out. Just remember they all have a sheath for your sword. Hers is not lined with…frankincense and myrrh.”

  Daniel saw the fist flying at his face too late to block it by lifting the chest. The blow landed on his cheek, just below the black eye Charlie had given him. “I’m not going to fight you, Jaxon. You’ve made your bed….”

  Charlie heard the raised voices as she came down the passageway and opened the door in time to see Jaxon hit his brother.

  Daniel nearly knocked her over in his haste to leave making her spill some of the willow bark tea she carried. “I’m taking my quarters back,” he said to her. He paused. Daniel knew there was little he could do to stop Jaxon from rushing into a relationship with her. “Oh, I just thought you should know; your ship was coming back for you yesterday when we set sail. Jaxon knew they were no match for the speed of his Baltimore clipper.”

  Daniel shot his brother a caustic smirk before he disappeared down the passageway.

  “Is that true?” she asked turning to Jaxon. “My ship came for me and you didn’t even ask me if I wanted to stay or go back?”

  “Charlie, I didn’t find out you were a woman until after we’d sailed.”

  “And that makes shanghaiing me all right?”

  “Charlie….”

  “You had no right,” she shouted. “The decision should have been mine. You have no idea what you have taken away from me.”

  “Charlie….”

  “Turn the ship around. They’re probably still pursuing us.”

  “No, Charlie, I’m sure they’re not. Second mates are easily replaced,” Jaxon said.

  “I’m not just the second mate, Captain. My father and Dr. Kirk owned the ship. I am now half-owner of the Arcadia.”

  He hated to admit to what he’d done, but she might as well hear all of it. “We put your uniform on Jimmy’s body and transferred it to the corsair. They were to give it to your crew and tell them you had met with a terrible accident. As you know, Jimmy’s face was unrecognizable.”

  Charlie was dumfounded. Morty was the only person on the ship who would have known a male corpse was not her. She doubted anyone would look past the face to check for the scar on her arm. Morty was her only hope and he had been locked up in the brig when her ship had abandoned her. Unless the others told him when they released him, he would have no way of knowing where she was.

  Charlie knew abandoning her had been no accident. Byron hated her since he realized the captain was Charlie’s father, but the crew going along with him surprised her. It was piracy plain and simple to leave her there when she owned the ship. Perhaps the crew was just trying to make a point. They had been terribly angry with her in the days since she locked up Morty. That was why they came back. Her lesson learned. Either that or they remembered Morty was locked in the brig, released him, and he had convinced them to go after her.

  She was angry and hurt. Not just by her shipmates, but by Jaxon as well.

  “Morty,” she said to the air. “If you truly love me, come get me off this ship. You are the one person in this world, I know I can trust.”

  She set the tin cup of willow bark tea in front of him. “You’re no better than those damn Limey bastards that took my crew members.” Charlie turned on her heel and strode towards the exit.

  Jaxon shot to his feet. He had an arm around her waist before she reached the door. He pulled her to him, her back against his chest. With long arms, he reached around her and swung the door closed. “Charlie,” he said, wrapping his other arm around her. He held her firmly, but not tight enough to hurt her. “You’re right about everything, baby. It was wrong of me to do it. But I can’t undo it and since I have you in my life because of that decision, I wouldn’t change a thing if I could. I know I should tell you how contrite I am, but I’m finished lying to you.”

  “Have a care, Captain,” she said in a tightly controlled tone. “You need to understand when it’s best to let me leave. All I can think about right now is how many ways I can inflict pain on you from this position. The count is over half-a-dozen.”

  He chuckled, “Enlighten me.”

  “The leather over the wooden heels of my boots will do little to cushion an impact to your instep, knee or shin. With the way you have left my arms free, I could easily scratch you or gouge your eyes or even pull your hair. I believe I can also throw an elbow into your ear or face.” She didn’t mention the head butt because that was where she intended to start her attack if he didn’t release her. “The only thing you did right is protecting your wound, because the way I’m feeling right now I would happily double you over with an elbow or fist to that area.”

  “Damnation, woman,” Jax said releasing her.

  “Don’t you curse at me. I have every right to be mad. And until I’ve cooled down, I don’t want to see you or talk to you.”

  Charlie strode up the companionway to the deck, looking for a place where she could be alone. The ship was absolutely brimming with men, men who stared openly at her. She looked up to the crow’s nest and found two men in it. When she was a child, especially after a nightmare, she liked to go into the crow’s nest. Unless the moon was bright, it was pointless to man it, so it was usually empty. But his ship was so overstaffed it seemed anywhere she might look for privacy, there were men there.

  After realizing there was no place for her to go on the ship, Charlie found herself knocking on the door to Daniel’s quarters.

  “Charlie?” Daniel was genuinely surprised to see her there.

  “I-I wanted to talk to you. May I come in?”

  He hesitated, but eventually stepped back allowing her entrance. Charlie reached to close the door, but Daniel stopped her. “It wouldn’t be proper,” he said.

  “It wouldn’t?” She seemed to have to analyze his statement. She had been alone with men in her cabin countless times and it had never occurred to her that had they known she was female, she would have needed to keep the door ajar.

  “I see no chaperone.”

  “Oh.” A confused expression crossed her countenance. “How’s your cheek?”

  “Is that what you came here for?”

  “No, not really. I mean I do care, it’s just that’s not what I’m here about.”

  “Go on.”

  She could tell he didn’t want her there. He was cordial enough, but his tone was also cold.

  “First, I wanted to thank you for telling me about my ship coming back.” She didn’t give him a chance to say anything before she continued. “But I’m here because I wanted you to assign me to the starboard watch as crew. There�
�s not enough for me to do as loblolly boy—uh, girl. I’ve….”

  Daniel interrupted shaking his head. He knew this was not Jaxon’s idea. The whole idea was preposterous. Even if she could do the work, she would be a distraction to the rest of the men.

  “I don’t know….”

  “Also, I was hoping you might let me sleep here. If I were on the second mate’s crew, we’d be on opposite shifts. We’d never be here at the same time.”

  “What about your medical duties?”

  “I can check on my patients before or after my shifts, and I’m sure your blower could excuse me for emergencies. If there’s a large demand for my services, I might be allowed to take off the dogwatch when necessary. I promise you, I can carry my weight on deck.”

  Daniel eyed her speculatively. She had served aboard her ship long enough to know it was the first mate’s duty to staff the watches, but he’d never put her on one without the captain’s agreement.

  “And what does Jaxon think of this arrangement?”

  “I don’t know. I’m avoiding him,” she answered honestly.

  “Are you intentionally trying to drive brothers further apart?”

  “No, I swear.”

  “He’ll never agree to it and you know it. That’s why you’re approaching me.”

  “You’re probably right. He’ll never approve,” she said. “But I know if you gave me a chance, I could prove myself. No doubt everyone on this ship thinks I got where I did because my father was captain, but I earned it. I may not be as strong as most men, but I work hard and I’m smart and I can climb the riggings like a monkey.” When Daniel looked dubious she added, “Plus, I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to share his cabin.”

  “Something we both agree on.”

  “I didn’t ask for this to happen. I came here to help your crew after you saved us. Now, I can’t seem to get control of anything in my life. I’ve gone from an ordered life, to one where I don’t have clothing that fits and nothing to wear if I want to alter them.”