Choices of the Heart

by Daniels, Julia

  He met her eyes. It wouldn’t be fair to lie to her. “I am very fond of you but…” He swallowed and looked away, back to the spot where he’d seen Chloe. “I don’t know if I will ever feel for you what you feel for me.”

  “Yes, you will.” She was so confident that she patted him on the back. “Once we are married, living together, you’ll see. It will all be fine. I’ll make you happy. Really I will.”

  “Isabelle…”

  “Reese, I love you. I have for years, but your head has been so clouded with your memories of her that you haven’t let yourself fall in love with me. You look at me as a friend, and I think if you tried just a little harder to get her out of your mind, you’d succeed, and then we’ll be a happy family.”

  Had he been that obvious?

  “I don’t deserve you, Isabelle.” He swallowed. He knew his words were going to hurt, but…he was an honest man. “I just can’t give back to you what you’re offering me.” He stuck his hands deep into his pockets and leaned back on his heels, pulling from her arms. All this talk of feelings and emotions made him uncomfortable. Black and white issues were fine. Emotions couldn’t be as readily defined. Or forced.

  “Nonsense.” She waved away his concern. “You’ll come to love me. I just know you will.” She kissed his cheek and grabbed her handbag off the table. “I have to get home and give Mother her pills. You think about what I said, will you?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “I will.” He hadn’t thought about much else the past few days and long, long sleepless nights.

  “Fine then. I will be by tomorrow to get your laundry done.”

  “Isabelle, you don’t need to—”

  “I enjoy it. Truly, I like keeping house for you. Once we’re married, it will be even easier. No travel.” She laughed at her comment, kissed his cheek again and then caressed it with the back of her hand. She waved goodbye to him as she walked toward her automobile.

  He and Chloe needed to make some tough decisions fast—decisions that would affect not only his life, but also that of another woman and a little boy. That was enough pressure to make him sit back down and have another smoke.

  ~*~

  “I should have known.” Chloe cursed herself. She slammed another pair of shoes into her traveling satchel. “Why did I let myself open my heart to those feelings for him again?”

  She threw the bag onto her bed, crossed her arms and stalked over to the window. She could see the roof of Reese’s red barn in the distance, just above the treetops. Was Isabelle still there, or had she left?

  Still in shock, from finding them embracing on his porch, Chloe was beside herself. After leaving his house angry, she’d played with Bobby for hours, while weighing all the pros and cons in her head.

  Before seeing Isabelle in his arms, Chloe had decided to stay in Broken Bow, make it her permanent home. She loved Reese as much as ever, knew better now that there wasn’t anyone else for her. Her heart and soul were his. He was the love of her life.

  Daisy wanted Chloe to raise Bobby, and she would do as her older sister asked. How could she ignore her sister’s last request? She and Reese could make a go of it. Who knew if he would ever forgive her for leaving in the first place, but in her mind, for Bobby and her own heart, it was worth a try.

  Chloe turned back into the room and glanced at her half-packed bag. Reese asked her to stay and then hours later he was kissing Isabelle. What was he doing? Playing it safe? If Chloe wouldn’t stay, then he’d have Isabelle to fall back on? Or was it the other way around? Maybe he was hoping Isabelle would say yes and if not, he’d have Chloe as a backup.

  She plopped her bottom on the bed and fell onto her back, resting her head on her folded hands. Life wasn’t fair, and it shouldn’t be this stressful.

  “Chloe?” Dottie knocked on the door.

  “Come in.” She didn’t bother to sit up.

  “Taking a nap?”

  Dottie’s kind smile eased some of Chloe’s worry. Since the night she’d returned from Reese’s home, Dottie had been kinder to her. Perhaps it was just the shock at having her back in their life that had caused the older woman’s threats? Life always seemed safer when the older woman was near.

  “No.” Chloe sighed. “Packing.”

  “Packing?” Dottie’s face fell. “Oh, dear. Not ready to leave yet, are you?” She sat next to Chloe on the bed. “It has been a rough few days, hasn’t it?” She lay back next to her.

  “Understatement of the decade, Mrs. Lloyd.”

  “I always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter.” She gently touched Chloe’s shoulder. “Someone who would share their dreams with me just like this. We’d have giggles and private stories I wouldn’t tell Randy about. I figured I would find out about their crushes and the boys they admired. Reese and Ronnie never shared that stuff with me. Of course, it was always pretty obvious who was on Reese’s mind. Ronnie wasn’t as open about his feelings.”

  “Is Reese still as obvious?” Chloe closed her eyes, worried about her answer.

  “Yep, he sure is.” Dottie sat up straight again. “Isabelle Mathers is downstairs. She asked to speak with you.”

  “Well, that’s just swell,” Chloe sat on the edge of the bed. “Just swell.”

  Dottie shooed Bobby, who had been waiting at the doorway, ahead of her and left the door open, letting Chloe decide if she would follow or not. She really wasn’t in the mood for another confrontation, but Isabelle didn’t leave Chloe much choice.

  Isabelle sat at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of lemonade.

  “Hi, Isabelle.” Chloe joined her at the table.

  Bobby took Chloe’s hand and squeezed her fingers.

  Isabelle looked at her then at the boy and smiled. There was no animosity in her expression.

  “Chloe.” Isabelle nodded a greeting and took a long sip of lemonade. “Can we talk for a bit? Perhaps out on the porch? There’s a nice breeze.”

  “Certainly.” Chloe bent lower to look at Bobby. “You wanna go out and chase your kitties?”

  “Uh-huh!”

  She laughed at his enthusiasm, waited for Isabelle to stand up and then followed her out the screen door. Isabelle had a lovely dress on. It was short, barely covering her knees, and was made of a sheer, silky, light-green fabric. She was taller than Chloe, with curly blonde hair that was just below chin length.

  Bobby squealed, drawing Chloe’s attention, and she watched as he ran laughing through the yard, the cats scurrying beyond his reach. Mr. Lloyd called him over to the barn, and he ran away, swinging his arms at his sides.

  “He’s a happy child,” Isabelle commented before sitting.

  “For a boy who grew up in a city, he seems to have adjusted well out here, yes,” Chloe agreed, watching the boy.

  “When are you leaving, Chloe?”

  Nothing like cutting to the chase. Chloe’s gaze snapped square on Isabelle. Isabelle’s eyebrows rose, waiting for her answer.

  “I haven’t decided yet.” It was the truth, even if her bag was almost packed upstairs.

  “Have you signed the paperwork?”

  So she knew about that, did she? Apparently, Reese had involved Isabelle more than Chloe had thought.

  “Mitch Schroeder, Jed’s new partner, is supposed to bring the papers over after supper.”

  “And you will sign them,” Isabelle insisted. “All of them?”

  “Isabelle, just be frank, would you? Have your say.”

  “He’s mine.” Isabelle leaned forward and put her glass on the porch floor. “When you left, he turned to me. Now that you have come back, he’s turned away. I have always admired him. Even when you two were involved, I was attracted to him.”

  “You speak as if he’s a piece of property. Reese is a man. He has choices, Isabelle.” Chloe looked away, trying to choose her words carefully. “I’m glad you’ve spent time with him. Ronnie and my sister’s death have changed things for all of us. There is much more for me to consider now.”

>   “So are you leaving?”

  “I can’t answer that yet,” Chloe answered. “As I said, I have a lot to consider.”

  “He asked me to marry him, Chloe.” Isabelle stuck her nose in the air and looked away. “I said yes, of course. So it’s time for you to go back to Lincoln and take care of other people. Leave Reese and Bobby to me.”

  “And if I don’t?” Once Chloe made the decision to stay, she wasn’t going to be easily swayed. It was hard enough to come back here in the first place.

  “Not much I can do. But mark my words, I will make life here difficult for you. It’s a small town; gossip spreads fast and well. You being away for so long, people will look at you as an outsider.”

  “Why would you want to hurt me like that?” The threat was a hollow one, Chloe was almost sure. Isabelle was a nice woman, and Chloe couldn’t imagine her being vindictive. “I was given custody of my nephew. Is it so wrong that I want to raise him?”

  “You’re getting in the way of my happiness. And Reese’s. He’s been happier with me than he ever was with you.”

  “Fine.” Chloe stood and walked down the stairs of the porch.

  “Fine, what?”

  “We’ll let him choose.” Chloe walked onto the lawn. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  “Drive us over to Reese’s house. He can decide which one of us he wants. If he says you, fine, I’ll back off and go home to Lincoln. But if he says me, you’ll move on.”

  “Fine.” Isabelle nodded and stuck her nose in the air.

  “Dottie, I’ll be back in a bit,” Chloe called to Mrs. Lloyd. “Bobby just ran out to the barn with Mr. Lloyd.”

  “Have Reese come back with you, would you?” Dottie was fast onto the porch. “He can eat supper with us.”

  The woman had been listening to the conversation.

  Did she want Chloe for a daughter-in-law? Or Isabelle?

  Chloe wondered who Reese would choose. He’d complained that Chloe never gave him options. Here was a huge one for him, a choice that would change the course of the lives of many.

  Who would he choose to become the new Mrs. Lloyd? Chloe or Isabelle?

  Chapter Ten

  “Hello, ladies.”

  Isabelle and Chloe, wearing deep scowls on their lovely faces, had him cornered in the back of his barn. Reese was in for it and had nowhere to run. He knew why Chloe might be upset, having seen him kissing Isabelle, but why on earth was Isabelle mad at him?

  “Isabelle paid me a visit,” Chloe started, with no pretense of pointless pleasantries. “She claims you asked her to marry you. I find that rather odd, as you suggested the same thing to me earlier.”

  “Chloe, listen—”

  “No, Reese, you listen.” She advanced on him, pointing a finger at his chest. “I won’t be manipulated. I left you earlier with the understanding that I had a decision to make.”

  “You do have a—”

  “You had your say earlier. Now, let me finish.” She cut him off and moved him even farther toward the back wall of the barn. “If you are playing games with us, you need to stop. You can’t have it both ways.”

  “I’m not playing a game.” He sidestepped her, knowing the wall would soon be at his back. The sweat on his forehead started to drip in his eyes, and he pulled a rag from the back pocket of his overalls to wipe it away.

  “What is it then?” Isabelle’s soft voice chimed in.

  He turned slightly and sighed. “Let’s go up to the house and talk this over.”

  “I want to hear it now. Right here. Right now.” Chloe crossed her arms and stared at him.

  Isabelle sneezed into her handkerchief. “Perhaps he’s right, Chloe. It’s awful dusty out here.”

  “Now, Reese.”

  Damn if she wasn’t like a dog with a fresh bone.

  Isabelle sneezed again and shot Chloe a murderous look.

  “At least let’s go out in the sunshine,” Reese said. He walked through the wide main door of the barn, not caring if the two followed or not. The sun was gone, and dusk had started to set on the horizon, a pretty purple sky, with tinges of pink taking its place. How long had he been working in there? The day just kept getting worse.

  Isabelle stopped next to him and placed a proprietary hand on his arm. He held back the urge to shake it off.

  “Tell her, Reese. Tell her we are going to raise Bobby together. That we will be married as soon as she leaves.”

  He looked down at her, taking in her wide smile.

  “Tell her,” Isabelle begged and squeezed his arm. “Please.” Her voice trailed off and her gaze snapped between Chloe and him.

  What was he going to do? Most men would envy his current position. Two women vying for his attention, wanting him to share their lives. Two women who were about as different as night and day.

  He gritted his teeth, could feel his jaw muscles tighten.

  “Chloe, would you wait in the barn for a few minutes?” He had to clear the air with Isabelle first. That was the gentlemanly thing to do.

  “Fine,” Chloe agreed with a frown.

  He moved just far enough away from Isabelle so he could look at her and still watch Chloe as she entered the barn. When Chloe was out of earshot, he took a deep breath. He hadn’t had too much experience with women. He’d never had to break up with one. The only two women who ever loved him were right here, and one of them would leave disappointed. Life was a hell of a lot easier a week ago.

  “I have to be honest with you,” he said. “Before all this business with my brother’s death, and Chloe returning with Bobby, I had expected we would marry.”

  Her bright smile felt like a punch to his gut, and he opened his mouth to correct her obvious misperception.

  “That’s all I needed to hear.” She rushed forward so hard she almost knocked him over.

  He caught her and held her shoulders for a moment before he pushed her away from him. “But—”

  “But what?” she asked.

  “Isabelle.” He bent over slightly and captured her gaze. “I can’t marry you. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “Reese—”

  “I told you already that I can’t love you like you love me.” He took her hands, gave them a gentle squeeze, even though his were feeling sticky, sweaty from his nerves. “Ronnie wants me to raise his son, and I have to see to that. But you deserve to be happy, and I can’t give you that. I wanted to tell you that when you were here earlier, but I wasn’t man enough to do it. For that I am sorry.”

  “Don’t you see, Reese? You do make me happy. And I would never ever leave you. Not ever. I would devote my life to making you and Bobby happy.” She was crying, seemed panicked almost, but she continued. “If you’ll just give me a chance… I’ll love Bobby like my own son. I’ll—”

  He pulled her against him and rubbed her back slowly, letting her cry. He rested his cheek on her head and swallowed the lump in his throat. “It’ll be fine, Isabelle. You will meet someone else, another man who will make you happy, someone who has a whole heart to give you. I’m sorry, so sorry I hurt you.”

  “No one will be as good as you. No one.”

  He chuckled at that. The woman had to be deaf and blind to think that. He pulled away and smiled gently at her. “You think too highly of me. I’m just a farmer. Nothing special.” He shook his head. “There will be someone else for you, you mark my words. I’ll always be your friend, Isabelle. If you need something, you can call anytime.”

  “What if she won’t stay? What will you do then? I’ll wait for you, Reese. All you have to do is say the word.”

  “Please don’t.” He shook his head, humbled. “I couldn’t ask that of you.” He placed a finger over her lips when she opened her mouth to speak.

  “I’ll just be going.” She waited, as if she expected him to ask her to stay.

  Finally, when she turned and slowly walked away, toward her car, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. That was easy compared to what
he was about to face. He lit a cigarette, needing a minute to compose himself before he went in to Chloe.

  ~*~

  What in the world was taking the man such a long time? All he had to do was tell Isabelle to take a hike or offer her marriage. How long could that possibly take?

  “Okay, Chloe Anne, think this through,” she said it out loud.

  If he chose Isabelle, everything would be as she’d planned before coming back to Broken Bow with Daisy and Ronnie. Chloe would return to Lincoln, agree to marry Dr. Tom, and live happily ever after, trying not to think about her nephew, or about Isabelle and Reese getting married, having babies and growing old together. She didn’t know if she could live with that.

  She walked to each of the two far corners of the barn and lit the lanterns that hung there, the fading sunlight allowing darkness to crawl into the spacious building, making her feel more uneasy than the situation itself. She walked back toward the front of the barn, the lamplight leading the way and comforting her wary nerves.

  “Humph.” Chloe planted her bottom on a bale of hay, leaned forward on her elbows, and rested her chin in her hands.

  What if he chose her?

  She thought when she’d left him on the porch he’d left it up to her to decide their future. And if he did want her? Well, that led her back to square one, when she was walking to his house to declare her feelings and intentions toward him.

  Should she let it bother her that he’d been kissing Isabelle on his porch? Should she worry that he was trying to get the attention of both women? Should that be enough for her to say no to him, to forget about Daisy’s request and move back to Lincoln, as if nothing had happened the past week?

  “Man alive!” She jumped to her feet, feeling even more confused than ever.

  She wandered—paced really—from empty stall to empty stall, trying to think of anything but Reese and Isabelle and what they might be doing right this moment. Her heart couldn’t be beating any faster, and if Reese didn’t come back to her soon, she’d go out and discover what was taking him so long. Chloe stopped pacing the long aisle between the stalls as soon as she heard boots on the gravel outside the barn door.