Choices of the Heart

by Daniels, Julia

  “All very good news, indeed! So, what brings you here? You don’t often stop in the middle of the day.”

  “Can’t I just come for a visit?” Chloe chuckled to hide her embarrassment.

  “Of course. You know you are always welcome. Always have been.” She laughed.

  “I am here to ask a favor.” Chloe gazed out over the yard. “Perhaps for your opinion, as well.”

  “What do you need, dear?”

  Dottie took a sip of her tea. Chloe never understood how people could drink warm beverages when it was so hot outside.

  “Dr. Babcock asked if I would be interested in working as a nurse two mornings a week.” She spoke in a rush, before she lost her nerve. Her mother-in-law’s reaction worried her more than she feared Reese’s.

  “Well, that’s nice. I hear tell he’s a nice man. Haven’t had to see him yet.”

  “Well, I was wondering…if you would mind… That is, if you aren’t too busy, would you watch the little boys those mornings? The other four will be in school, and it’s just two days a week.”

  “What does Reese say about it?” Dottie studied her over the rim of her teacup.

  Chloe pinched her eyes closed. “I haven’t asked him yet.” She peeked to see her mother-in-law’s reaction.

  “He’ll be fine with it.”

  “You think?” Chloe wasn’t so convinced. “How can you be so certain?”

  “He’s got progressive ideas, Chloe,” Mrs. Lloyd said. “And remember, he wants you to be happy.”

  “Oh, I know that. It’s just…well…married women don’t work outside of the home very often, and with all the children, maybe he’ll expect me to be home taking care of them.”

  “But as you said, most of them will be in school. And I would be happy to watch my grandsons.”

  “Are you certain?”

  “Yes, dear.” She leaned forward and patted Chloe’s knee. “If Reese says yes, I’ll be happy to watch Charlie and Bobby. But just two mornings a week and not Wednesdays because I play bridge and not Fridays, because we quilt those days.” Dottie refilled her teacup. “You were always a good seamstress. Might be good for you to get involved in the woman’s circle, too.”

  “I would enjoy that. Thank you.” Chloe stood. “I best be getting back home. Reese’ll be wondering where I am.”

  “Let me know what you decide, Chloe.” Dottie carried Bobby out to the car and helped him inside. “Good luck.” She closed the door and backed away from the auto. “Remember, he loves you and wants to see you happy.”

  “He loves me?” Chloe stared at her mother-in-law, curious why she thought that.

  “Chloe, girl, are you blind?” Dottie laughed.

  “He hasn’t said anything.” Chloe let her fears show.

  “Oh dear, you do have a lot to learn about men.” Dottie laughed even harder.

  ~*~

  “That was easy,” Reese said as he joined Chloe in bed later that night. “They brushed their teeth, said their prayers, crawled into bed and that was that.”

  “Charlie, too, huh?” Chloe laughed.

  “Funny lady.” He pulled her next to him, needing to smell her flowery perfume. “You always smell like lilacs.” He nuzzled her neck. “How do you do that?”

  “It’s called bathing.” She wrapped her arm around his waist.

  “Which reminds me. The garden looks terrific. You did a nice job with the trimming. Too bad it will soon all be dying back.”

  “You like fall,” she reminded him.

  “I do, except that I’ll need to start harvest pretty soon.” As if on cue, raindrops started pelting the roof.

  “Won’t be tomorrow.” She laughed.

  “Let’s hope it’s just rain. No hail.” He rolled to his side, bone tired. “Tell me what Babcock said about Bobby and Charlie.”

  “Didn’t I tell you yet?” She frowned. “I thought I had. Oh, I told your mother.”

  “Where did you see her?” She hadn’t been gone very long today. He thought she’d just run the boys in to see the doctor and come straight home.

  “I stopped out there on my way home from town,” she explained.

  “You did?”

  “I’ll get to that in a minute.” She pulled his arms around her waist, letting her back rest against his chest. “Charlie is just fine, healthy. Dr. Babcock says to add Cream of Wheat or oatmeal to his diet.”

  “That’ll add some weight to him. Isn’t he growing enough?” He closed his eyes on a sigh.

  “Yes, but he needs something more than formula now.”

  “What about Bobby?” He nuzzled her neck, drinking in her scent.

  “He has a slightly crossed eye, what they call strabismus. But the doctor thinks he’ll grow out of it. He can see just fine, but the eye doesn’t move the same as the other.”

  “Is that normal?” he whispered as his hands reached under the hem of her nightgown.

  “No.” She giggled as he tickled her waist. “But he didn’t seem concerned. In fact, he said it would probably correct itself.”

  Reese pulled back, needing to hear what else she had to say before he continued to touch her. If he didn’t stop now, there wouldn’t be any more talking for quite a while.

  “What else? Quit wiggling, would you?” He laughed.

  “Stop touching me, then.” She laughed and then sighed. “Well, let’s see… Dr. Babcock did some research on children who speak late. He expects Lucas to start talking once he feels safe and secure with us. He read somewhere that it’s rare for a child not to be able to talk at all. He thinks he just doesn’t want to talk.”

  “How can a child not want to talk?” Reese asked.

  “If you grew up where he had, with the things he saw, what would you say?”

  “True.” He nodded. “Is that all?” he asked. “Not that I don’t like to talk with you, because I do, honey, but my body is asking for me to do something else with my lips.”

  “One more thing and then I’ll be happy to tie up your lips for a while.”

  “Better hurry,” Reese warned her.

  “I have something else to tell you to.” She swallowed. “Actually, something to ask you.”

  “What’s that?” His lips were back nuzzling her neck and his hand was working the hem of her gown over her waist.

  She paused, and knowing her as well as Reese did, he figured she had something serious on her mind. He stopped his loving and waited patiently for her to sort it out.

  “Babcock asked if I would consider working in his clinic two mornings a week.” She said the words so fast, she sounded like she was speaking foreign language.

  Her body turned rigid. She felt like a plank of wood in his arms instead of his beautiful wife.

  “Relax, honey. I’m not going to hit you, for heaven’s sake.” He moved a hand to rub her back. “Is that something you would like to do?”

  He knew the answer without asking. She wouldn’t have told him unless she was interested in working there.

  “The four older children will be in school, and your ma—that’s why I stopped at their place—she said she would watch the two youngest any morning except Wednesdays and Fridays.”

  Reese laughed. He probably should be mad she talked to everyone but him, but he wasn’t. It just showed she was prepared to go through with it, should he agree, which he would.

  He waited a few heartbeats, clicking off the objections in his mind. When he decided there were no solid reasons she couldn’t nurse, he sighed. This marriage stuff was hard work.

  “If that’s what you want to do,” he told her, “we’ll make it work.”

  “Really?” She flipped to face him, wiggling like a fish out of water. “You don’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind? I want you to be happy, honey.” He brushed back some of the hair that fell against her forehead. “As long as you don’t overdo it. There’s plenty to keep you busy around here, but I don’t see why a couple of mornings a week would hurt any.”

  Sh
e relaxed against him, no longer stiff and tense. It was about time he admitted that he loved her too. There was no point of keeping his feelings quiet.

  “I saw Isabelle today too, now that I’m thinking about it.” She grimaced. “She’s very angry.”

  “I reckon she will be, until she finds someone else to care for.” He sighed. “She loved me, Chloe. If Ronnie and Daisy hadn’t brought you back here, she and I would likely be married.”

  That comment hung in the air like fog on a summer morning.

  “Do you miss her?” Chloe looked up at him shyly.

  “I do,” he admitted. No point in lying to her about his feelings. “But not how I missed you. She’s a nice gal; you know that. We played cards a lot, talked about the news.”

  “Did you ever try…” She cleared her throat. “Did you ever want her in your bed?”

  He paused before answering. “God’s honest truth?”

  Chloe nodded, wide-eyed.

  “I’ve only ever wanted one woman in my bed, and it was you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Isabelle would have been a friend and a helpmate as a wife, but you, Chloe Anne…you are everything to me. You and now the children are my world.”

  “So, do you think you made the right choice in the barn that day?”

  “Marrying you?” What a question! “Hell yes, I did.” He pulled her up against him, knowing this was the chance he’d been waiting for. “You’re my life, honey. You always have been. Don’t you know that?”

  Chapter Twenty

  They weren’t exactly the words she was hoping for but close enough to give her comfort over the days to come. Between starting harvest and getting the children ready to start school, the only time they shared together was in bed, the few minutes before they drifted off to sleep.

  The trunks and cases and crates arrived from Chicago, along with the extra car. Dottie and Randy were helpful in unpacking and helping move things into the house. Bobby shared his bounty of toys with his new brothers and sister, and many of his clothes now fit baby Charlie, who was growing by leaps and bounds. Chloe knew he’d soon be crawling to keep up with the other children.

  Rosie had become her shadow, always helping, especially with Bobby and Charlie. She never said no to Chloe, was willing to do whatever her Pa asked, too. The older boys were learning their place at the farm, but Reese gave them plenty of free time to play and roam and be kids. Chloe thought they reminded him of how it was when he and Ronnie were growing up.

  All in all, Chloe couldn’t ask for things to be going better.

  Except, during the day, Reese continued to be distant, as if he had the whole world on his shoulders. Despite her frequent requests that he unburden himself, Reese kept everything inside, including any feelings he might—or might not—have for Chloe. She just wanted to hear I love you. Just once. He’d never said it before she’d left for school, but she knew. And although he proclaimed she meant the world to him, was that the same as love?

  Dottie was right, she certainly had a lot to learn about men.

  “You sure are a looker, Mrs. Lloyd.”

  She glanced up from the mirror she was using to tuck her hair up under the starched white hat she’d decided to wear and caught Reese’s smile. She’d put on one of the long nursing gowns she’d used as a uniform at the hospital in Lincoln. Dr. Babcock had said she needn’t wear one, that any outfit would do, but she felt like a professional in this garb.

  She turned toward Reese, cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed his lips. “You’re sure about this? You don’t mind?”

  “I want you to be happy, Chloe,” he repeated the line he’d used the week before when she’d first asked him.

  “But if it doesn’t make you happy, I won’t do it.”

  “Try it.” He shrugged. “See if you’re able to work, care for the house and the children. After harvest, I’ll help you out the best I can.” He kissed her. “I’m proud of you, for all you’ve accomplished with your schooling. If you can have your dream of nursing and still be my wife, making my dream come true, well how could I ask for more?”

  Tears filled her eyes. He had stated the obvious, which, sadly, hadn’t been so obvious to Chloe. They were both getting what they wanted and would still be happy together.

  “Mama! We’re gonna be late!” Rosie popped into their bedroom before Chloe could answer Reese. The little girl dragged on Chloe’s skirt for her attention. “Come on, already. ’Nuff of that kissy stuff.”

  Chloe laughed at her daughter’s scrunched-up face and then sniffed away her happy tears.

  “I love you,” she whispered to Reese, before kissing him again. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

  “You have a good morning, now.”

  He followed her as she swept from the room and into the kitchen, where she gathered up the six children. She double-checked that the four going to school had their lunches and books and made sure she had enough formula and diapers for Charlie. What a whirlwind!

  She chuckled as they all screamed goodbye to Reese and bolted for the door, fighting to get the front seat of the Model T. She followed them out, knowing at least that she wouldn’t have to reserve the driver’s seat, although in the not-so-distant future, that would probably change, as well. Michael, the eldest, seemed to have an interest in machinery, and Reese thought he had the mind for it.

  They stopped at the Lloyds’ on the way. Her mother-in-law waited on the porch, ready to take the two youngest boys. Chloe quickly said goodbye, got back on the road and headed toward town.

  She parked at the old schoolhouse and stepped out to let the children climb from the car. After each of them gave her a kiss on the cheek, they ran inside to start their day. This was only day number two, but their excitement—even Michael, the oldest, seemed thrilled with his new school—warmed her heart.

  She climbed back in the auto and sat for a moment, enjoying the silence. She didn’t want to admit to anyone how nervous she was today, her first day of work. She liked being with people, felt helping the sick was her vocational calling. Working in her hometown, for just a single doctor, should be easy and rewarding. She just wished she knew better what to expect.

  She took a few deep breaths to steady the butterflies in her stomach and pulled out of her parking spot, back onto the road and down a few blocks to the small, brick building where Dr. Babcock both lived and worked.

  She cut the engine, took another breath and then stepped from the car with her leather medical bag in her hands, a smile plastered on her face. Today was the start of something wonderful.

  ~*~

  Reese saw the Model T pull up the road as he and Pa were working through the cornfield, him running the corn picker, Pa driving the horse and wagon. Reese didn’t carry a watch, but according to the cramp in his stomach, it was about time for Chloe to get home for lunch. He glanced at the full wagon and made a sign to his pa for a break. He flipped off the machine and then took the rag from his back pocket and wiped the sweat from his brow.

  Chloe was back.

  He’d been on pins and needles all morning, waiting for something. He worried she would be gone all day, enjoying her new job so much she’d forget about him and the family. But she hadn’t.

  “Let’s head on up to the house. Ma’ll have dinner all ready,” Reese told his father.

  “Sounds good. My old bones could use a break.”

  Reese laughed. His father had been sitting on a wagon all morning. Reese had been the one walking behind and pushing the horse to get the heavy picker through the field.

  Reese hopped up in the wagon, and soon, with a little horsepower from Bessie and Boots, they were back at the house. He was anxious to see Chloe, couldn’t wait to hear how her day had gone.

  He hated himself for the mixed feelings he had. On one hand, he hoped the job worked out well. Being a nurse—even if only part time—would make her happy. But by the same token, he selfishly wanted her all to himself. Seemed like too much effort to care for everything at home and sti
ll be gone from the house for even eight hours a week.

  Reese held back the urge to run inside and scoop her up in his arms. He still felt like a schoolboy around Chloe, still got the tingly feeling in his gut when she was all pretty and made-up like she’d been that morning. He knew he looked bad, all sweaty and smelly, but she’d have to get used to it, right? Sure wasn’t the first time she’d seen him like that. But what a contrast to the squeaky clean doctor she was working with.

  He clomped in the back door, washed his hands and face and dumped a bunch of water over his sweaty hair, cooling himself off immediately. They sure were having an Indian summer this year. He sat on the bench by the door and slid off his dusty boots, knowing his mother would be fit to be tied if he tromped in her clean kitchen with dirt on his shoes. Both men brushed off their overalls and then went inside.

  Chloe smiled as soon as she saw him and met him a few feet into the kitchen. She was holding Charlie, who smiled all the time now, giggling and laughing at the tiniest thing. Since coming to the farm, he’d almost doubled in weight. Chloe had weighed him almost daily on the small scale in the barn that Reese used for the hogs. She’d scrubbed that thing until it glistened and then set him on the slick metal surface, holding him tightly so he wouldn’t squirm off.

  “So, how’d it go?” Reese asked her.

  “We had a slow morning. Only one person came in today.”

  “Well, that’s all right. I reckon it’s a good thing people aren’t too sick,” Pa told her.

  She set a blanket on the floor in the corner of the kitchen and placed Charlie there, giving him a spoon and a pot to keep him entertained. He sat up by himself really well now, and Reese felt a glow of pride. The boy got stronger every day.

  Bobby hung on Chloe’s skirts, obviously wanting attention. She picked him up and somehow managed to hold him and scoop a heaping pile of potatoes into a bowl at the same time.

  “Not much traffic makes for long hours,” she answered, placing the bowl on the table.

  Ma set the beef roast down, along with the gravy. Chloe grabbed the corn and a bowl of apples and joined him and Pa at the table.