Choices of the Heart

by Daniels, Julia

  “I picked them apples with Grandma today,” Bobby said, slipping onto Reese’s lap.

  “They will taste extra good, then,” Reese told him. He filled his plate with food and then turned his attention back to his wife. “Any exciting news from town?”

  “Nothing really,” Chloe answered. She passed the beef to Reese.

  Couldn’t she see he was dying to hear about her day? He could tell she was sullen, upset about something. Maybe she didn’t want to talk in front of Ma and Pa.

  “The train didn’t show up,” she commented in between bites of food.

  “At all?”

  “Not yet, anyway.” She shook her head. “Something happened with it in North Platte.”

  “Hmm.” Not nearly as exciting as Reese had expected.

  The rest of the conversation concerned the harvest, how much the neighbors had finished, in comparison to their own fields. When they were done eating, Chloe cleared the dishes and put them in the sink to soak.

  “You go on home with the children, Chloe. I’ll see to the rest,” Ma told her.

  “I’m headed to my chair,” Mr. Lloyd announced.

  Reese sighed. His father would nap, which meant they would lose an hour of daylight.

  “I’ll be here ’til supper, Chloe,” Reese said. “Then I’ll be home.”

  “That’s just fine.” She gave him a smile before scooping Charlie off the floor. “Let’s go, Bobby. Thank your grandma for playing with you this morning.”

  Reese watched the boy give his grandmother a wet kiss on the cheek and then he rubbed it off, making both of them laugh.

  Reese walked them to the door then stood there watching, making sure Chloe got the boys in the auto and that it started right up for her. After the vehicle disappeared behind the windbreak of trees, Reese looked at his ma. “How’d it go?”

  “Just fine. Those boys are sweet as honey. No trouble at all. Nothing like you and your brother used to be. Land’s sake, the trouble you two used to get in to.” She laughed. “Doesn’t seem like Chloe had a very exciting day, though. I reckon she was expecting a little more action.”

  “Seemed that way, didn’t it? She looked disappointed. I hope she’s not too disheartened. She was so excited this morning.”

  “Well, it’s just a small-town office. Nothing like the fancy hospital where she used to work,” Ma said as she started the dishes. “We don’t have that many people and most of us are healthy.”

  He grunted. He didn’t like to remember her old life, the one she’d left him for.

  “It’s good she’s trying this, Reese,” she continued, “or she always would have wondered what it would have been like. Give her time. You’ll see—she’ll make it work.” Ma turned to face him. “And so will you.”

  “Reese,” his pa called from the parlor. “You go on home and be with your young wife. There’re plenty of days left before it turns cold.”

  He considered the suggestion. Pa was right, of course, but it still didn’t make much sense to waste a perfectly good day. He wouldn’t be wasting it, though, would he? Time spent with Chloe was anything but a waste. He headed toward home, hopping on his horse and taking the shortcut across the fields.

  ~*~

  She’d held the tears until she was sure Reese and his parents couldn’t see her. She’d pulled the Model T out of the barnyard, onto the gravel road, trying to see through the wetness in her eyes.

  She’d had such fabulous expectations. She was going to be a nurse. Her husband and in-laws supported her. The doctor was young, would be easy to get along with, as he was learning how to run an office too. Only thing was, they’d only had one patient all morning. It had been the most boring four hours of her life. Boredom was something she’d never had to fight with in Lincoln. Dr. Babcock was new in town, had to earn the respect of the residents. Once he did that, surely there would be patients coming. Or maybe another flu epidemic would do the trick.

  She drove up the lane leading to her house, and pulled up to the porch where she normally parked, but Jacobson’s vehicle stood in her spot. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw who stood on her front steps.

  Dr. Tom Fields had found her new home.

  She considered driving right on out of the driveway, but she immediately dismissed the thought as too juvenile and parked next to Jacobson’s motorcar. There had to be a good explanation why he would have come all this way.

  She got out and reached back in to get the boys. Bobby immediately went running up to the porch, where his kittens sat patiently waiting for him. Charlie tried to wiggle free of her hold, but she held him close.

  “Hello, Tom,” she called out just before slamming the car door.

  She felt no excitement over seeing him again. Once, she’d found him handsome, but after watching Reese’s muscles work as he toiled in the field, watching him play with their children on the floor and seeing his silly smile after they made love at night, she knew what handsome really meant. It wasn’t perfect white teeth, or hair that never moved from its place. Beauty was something that lived inside a person. Reese had it; Tom did not.

  “You have your hands full,” Tom said, stepping off the porch to stand before her. He bent forward as if he meant to kiss her, but Chloe took a quick step back, out of his reach.

  “I come all this way to see you, and I don’t even get a kiss?”

  “No. Sorry.” She shook her head and took more two steps backward. “I’m married now.”

  “What?” Shock ripped across his perfect face. “Married? No one said anything about that to me! When? To whom? You were going to marry me, Chloe!” He grabbed her shoulders, gave them a gentle shake.

  Charlie began to cry.

  “Get your hands off her,” Reese yelled as he galloped toward them. In a flash, he was off the horse and standing next to her, placing a protective hand on her shoulder.

  “This is my husband, Reese Lloyd.” She threaded her arm around his waist. “Reese this is one of my former supervisors, Dr. Thomas Fields.”

  Reese recognized his name from the letter. Chloe saw it in his eyes.

  “What do you want out here?” Reese asked, a cold edge in his voice.

  “Chloe and I are…were…involved… In Lincoln. I was more than her supervisor, and when she resigned so suddenly and said she wasn’t coming back to Lincoln, I wanted to know why.” Tom reached into his pocket, took out a cigarette and lit it. “Guess I know now.” He blew out a stream of smoke.

  “I wrote you,” Chloe said, glancing at Reese. They’d never finished their conversation about Tom. “I told you I had married and wouldn’t be returning to Lincoln and St. Elizabeth’s.”

  “I never got it,” Tom bit off. “I wouldn’t have come so far out of my way if I had.”

  “I’ve been gone several months, Tom, surely it was obvious I wasn’t interested in you any longer?” Chloe said.

  Tom groaned. “Can I speak with Chloe alone for a moment?” he asked Reese.

  Her husband looked at her, and when she nodded, he sighed.

  “I’ll take the boys inside for their nap.” Reese glared a warning at Tom as he passed but didn’t say another word.

  “Shall we go on the porch?” she suggested, walking that way, not caring if he followed or not. All she wanted to do was get out of her uniform and apologize to Reese for this whole scene.

  “Why would you settle for this, Chloe?” Tom asked as he sat on a rocker. “You could have had so much more with me.” He stamped out his cigarette. “Who are these children? Did they come with the marriage?”

  “The older boy is my nephew, Bobby. The baby is a boy Reese and I adopted.” She’d lost track of time. Already couldn’t recall how long they’d been together as a family. “We took in the baby’s sister and three brothers, as well.” She sat on the other rocker.

  “Six children?” His voice was incredulous. He flounced backward on the other rocker. “You gave up a promising career and the opportunity to marry well, for this?” He spread h
is hands wide.

  “This is what I wanted, Tom.” She set her chair to rocking, anger stiffening her spine. “As for marrying well, I couldn’t have done any better than choosing my true love.” She looked at him, really saw him for the man he was.

  “But, Chloe, you and I were so good together.” He looked ugly when he whined.

  “You can find someone else to dance the Charleston with,” she suggested with a placating smile. “I was never that good at it, anyway.” She looked out over the barnyard where two small cats were chasing after each other. “I never enjoyed it nearly as much as you did.”

  “There was more to us than the dancing,” he spat. “You’re fooling yourself if you don’t admit that.” He flung his second cigarette off the porch and then gave her a once-over. “You’re wearing a uniform?”

  “A new doctor came to town. William Babcock. He’s building up his clinic and hired me for two mornings a week.”

  “Is that so? I don’t know that name.” He leaned forward with a frown and rested his elbows on his knees. “How, pray tell, will you manage working, when you have six children to rear?”

  She smiled. “I have a very helpful, very progressive husband, who is more supportive than I ever could have imagined. It will be a challenge but something I am looking forward to.”

  He snorted. “I’ll be going now.” Abruptly he stood, the rocking chair swaying as his weight left it. “My plan had been to pick you up and head into Denver for the week. My parents rented a cabin in the mountains and are expecting to meet my fiancée.” He laughed without a hint of humor. “I’ll still go. Explain to them you’ve married your true love and he’s nothing like me.”

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you.” She did feel some remorse. She never would have married him, even if Reese hadn’t wanted her, but she perhaps had led Tom to believe otherwise.

  “Don’t be. I was never sure if you’d be a good enough hostess. After all, you lacked the social graces I needed in a wife to propel me forward in society. I figured you could learn, but now I’ll just find someone better schooled.”

  She swallowed back the insult. “You do that,” she encouraged.

  He slammed his hat back onto his head and stalked by her, down the porch stairs and climbed into the car. He gunned the engine and pulled away. A light rain was just beginning to fall, making the dusty gravel turn to mushy mud, splattering all over his car as he sped down the lane.

  She waited a few minutes, enjoying the cool breeze brought by the rain, before going into the stuffy house. She’d open the windows a crack to let the fresh air in. She headed into the living room, where she found all the menfolk sleeping. Reese lay on the sofa, with Charlie on his belly. Bobby had curled up on the other, smaller sofa with his blanket, and as Chloe approached, he snored quietly.

  Her heart swelled nearly to overflowing with love as she took in the sight of their precious faces. Maybe life in Broken Bow wasn’t quite as exciting as a trip to Denver and being married to a doctor who wanted to be a state senator and then president, but Chloe wouldn’t give up Reese and her children for anything.

  “Chloe?” Reese whispered.

  She walked closer, and he opened one eye.

  “Did he leave?”

  “Yes, of course.” She bent over him and kissed his lips. “I love you,” she whispered.

  He opened both eyes and shifted to a sitting position. “How long before you have to go fetch the children from school?” He handed the sleeping Charlie to her.

  “Hours,” she answered, breathless, understanding well why he was asking.

  “Let’s put the boys to bed and use the time for ourselves.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “I’m thinking we need to have a little chat ’bout the good Dr. Thomas Fields.” Reese joined Chloe out on the porch just after all the kids had been bathed and put into bed later that night.

  “What do you want to talk about?” Chloe asked, accepting the glass of lemonade he handed her.

  The rain that began as a drizzle had turned into a steady downpour. It had continued all afternoon and now, well into the evening, it was still raining. The days were definitely getting shorter, and while Chloe had always loved fall, it still made her a little sad to watch all the flowers and trees fade away.

  “Will he be back?”

  She looked at him, confused by the question. “Why would he come back here?”

  “It looked as if the two of you had some unfinished business. Kind of how we ended things back when you moved to Lincoln.” Reese lit a cigarette. He still hadn’t fully quit the nasty, smelly habit. “Did you leave him heartbroken, too?”

  “You make it sound as if it was intentional. Hurting you. Hurting him.” She glanced at him and then looked away.

  “Unintentional or not, that’s what happened.” He took a long drag and blew out a puff of smoke. “At least, with me.”

  “Reese, what do I have to do to make it up to you? Can you tell me that?” Her voice rose on a wave of anger. “You sulk around all day, hardly saying a word to me, even though I’ve told you I love you. I have apologized many times, too. I just don’t know what else to do or say! I’ve tried to show you every way I know that I am happy to be here, being with you, being your wife.”

  “Did you do the same to Fields?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You must have done something to make him think you’d marry him?” Reese charged. “If you didn’t go all the way with him, did you kiss him?” He leaned forward on his elbows. “Did you touch him like you touch me? Did he touch you, put his mouth on you? Was he at that petting party you told me about when we were at the speakeasy? Damn it, why did he come here?” He stood and stomped to the railing and leaned against it, crossing his arms against his chest and staring down at her.

  “Reese, I told you…”

  “Did he touch you in your private places? Did you touch him where you touch me?” he repeated.

  “No!” she shouted. “Kisses that made me feel dirty, like an adulterer, that’s all I did with him.” She stood heavily and walked to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

  “He wanted to marry you. He wrote that in his letter, and now he came here to follow up.”

  She sighed.

  “He asked me to marry him, and I wasn’t even sure if he was serious. We were from such different backgrounds, and I had no reason to believe he really wanted to marry me. He never gave me a ring, or introduced me to his parents or even to his colleagues. So I never gave him an answer. If he read that as a yes, then it was his fault.”

  Silence dragged between them. She didn’t know what else to say. What could she say that he would listen to and believe, or that would break the barrier still standing between them?

  “Why didn’t you give him an answer?”

  She’d wondered that herself. “Honestly, Reese, I thought he just wanted to sleep with me, and he thought the only way to accomplish that was to make me believe he would marry me. He thought I was a dumb Dora from the boonies who would fall for his charm. He didn’t know I had already given my heart to you. And since I didn’t believe he was legitimately interested in marriage, I didn’t think he really needed an answer.”

  Why hadn’t she just said no from the start? Was it because she was flattered that he’d asked her, excited to think she could marry a dashing doctor so far above her in social class?

  “Plus, he asked me just weeks before Daisy was murdered.” Chloe stared off into the darkness, catching the glint of an occasional raindrop off the light from inside the house. “I’ll admit he’s a handsome man, Reese, but I didn’t have any intimate feelings for him. I certainly didn’t love him. He came from money and has grand schemes for his future. He talked about taking me to exotic places I never thought I would see, painted pictures of mansions and traveling on huge ships overseas.”

  “Chloe, you made the wrong choice, honey.” Reese flicked his spend cigarette and then moved away. “You should have gone with him inst
ead of getting stuck out here with me.” He walked into the house, letting the screen door slam gently behind him.

  “What in the world is his problem?” Chloe asked herself.

  And then she got mad.

  She ground her teeth and balled her fists, her fingernails biting into the skin of her palms. How dare he make such a comment and then leave her to wonder? She ought to…no. She sank back onto her rocker. It was harvest time, one of the most stressful times for a farmer. Surely he was simply tired, angry about the rain, which would keep him from the field for the next day or so. Why take it out on her, though?

  Reese had some thinking to do. If he took the time to just look at their life, he would see she didn’t make the wrong choice. His fickleness—loving her one minute hating and doubting her in the next instant—was insane! She couldn’t keep up with his moods, and she decided she really didn’t want to, either.

  He had to work it out for himself.

  ~*~

  Two days later, they still weren’t talking to each other. Not beyond the absolute necessary comments. It was late when Chloe finally came to bed, and he’d been tossing and turning for hours. He had an inner fight he was working through. A fear of letting himself finally give in to his love for her, while at the same time worrying she would leave him again. When he saw the Lincoln doctor at the house, he thought for sure they were through, that she would pack up and go back to Lincoln. Life had to be so much easier there. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, Reese couldn’t get beyond the worry that she would up and leave them.

  It didn’t help that he saw Graham Whitman in town the day before, reminding him again that wives do sometimes leave their husbands. Whitman’s wife left him with two kids and never looked back. Chloe could leave too…and then what?

  She’d given up the moon to stay in Broken Bow, and as disappointed as she’d been with her first few days of work, surely she wouldn’t last here much longer. The only thing saving him from completely losing his mind was the reminder that she said she loved him. She not only said it at every opportunity, but she showed him through everything she did for him, as well.