The Deadening

by Yvonne Heidt

  Raven felt tears on her lashes before she opened her eyes. She’d brought the acute feeling of helplessness back with her from the dream. Why hadn’t she been able to tell Shade her name?

  She’d saved her, had in fact put hands on Shade’s astral body before she was thrown back into her own. She ignored her lightheadedness and got out of her chair to stand next to Shade’s body lying in the bed. Raven’s arms still had goose bumps from the chill on the other side.

  “I won’t give up. I promise you. I’ll keep trying.” Raven knew she didn’t have the energy to try again this morning.

  Daily visits from Aura, Sunny, and Tiffany had ensured that physically, Shade’s body was continuing to heal at a rapid rate. The results of the brain scan the doctors ordered yesterday still showed brain activity. Her synapses showed they fired at a rapid rate and appeared normal. All of this still gave her hope.

  But she didn’t want to wait, damn it. She wanted to help now.

  The day nurse came in to take Shade’s blood pressure. The interruption and her seemingly careless handling of Shade’s body pissed her off. Raven wanted to smack the bored expression off her face.

  She forced herself to take a breath, then another. It wasn’t the nurse’s fault. Raven was exhausted and frustrated, and looking for a target to shoot her helplessness at.

  “It’s a tiny bit higher than it was,” the nurse said and checked her chart. She placed her fingers on Shade’s wrist to take her pulse. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say she’d been up and walking around today.”

  Raven was elated. If Shade was physically reacting to Raven’s presence there, by the same token, didn’t that mean she was getting closer to her here—on this side?

  The nurse left just as Aura walked in. Raven felt a rush of relief and quickly told her about the successful dream walk, and the change in Shade’s vital signs.

  “I had an idea that a force might be keeping her there against her will,” Aura said while brushing Shade’s hair back before kissing her cheek. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

  “What do I do now?” Raven asked.

  “We wait. I don’t recommend you try again until you’ve had a good rest. Your colors are very pale, and your mother is worried about you.” Aura sat in the chair closest to the bed and rearranged her skirt before reaching into her big bag for her crocheting. “As am I.”

  “My mother just came home from her trip, and she’s made it very clear she doesn’t want me here at all,” Raven said and looked at the floor.

  “She doesn’t have to like it, but she does understand why, Raven. That’s what’s important.”

  “The last two days, every time I try to talk to her about Shade, and ask for her help, she shuts down.”

  Aura smiled sadly. “Then she’s only seen one side of our girl now, hasn’t she? The necromancer, not the woman she is. I’ll try and talk with her again.”

  Raven stretched and stifled a yawn. “Why did you and my mother want me to work at SOS? I mean, if she has such a problem with Shade?”

  “Your mother and I have been good friends for almost twenty years, since you were a baby, but that’s a discussion you’ll have to have with her. After that, if you have more questions, just come and see me.” Aura’s crochet needle was twisting the yarn with lightning speed, even though Raven hadn’t seen her look down once at the project in her lap.

  “I’m afraid to go home,” Raven said. “I want to be here when she wakes up.”

  Aura’s head tilted slightly to the left, a mirror image of what Sunny did when she appeared to be listening to a voice no one else heard. “I still can’t hear her,” she said.

  “You love her.”

  “Yes,” Aura said. “Like my own daughter.”

  “What happened to her? Why is she so sad inside?”

  “Honey, that’s Shade’s story to tell and something you should hear from her. I’ll only say that she had a horrific childhood until we moved her into our home.”

  Raven nodded. There was no use in trying to wheedle any more information. This family of women stuck together like glue, and their loyalty was stellar. She would do the same in their position and she wasn’t completely inside the circle, yet.

  “Honey, go home now. Get some rest.”

  Raven yawned and leaned down to kiss Aura’s cheek. “Okay,” she said. “But call me immediately if something changes, promise?”

  Aura put down her crocheting and hugged her. Raven felt a tiny surge of electricity flow through her body. “Thanks,” she said.

  “Just a little something-something for the ride home.” Aura smiled gently. “Drive careful.”

  “I will. Don’t forget to—”

  “Call you, yes, I know. Don’t worry. I’ll be here for a few more hours, then Tiffany and Kat are coming in for their shift.”

  “Bye.” Raven walked down the hall to the elevator and leaned against the wall while she waited. She was soul tired, even with the healing energy Aura had given her. She didn’t want to take the time to rest, but the lower the elevator descended, the more exhausted she became, until when she got out in the lobby, she knew she had no choice but to sleep when she got home.

  It was either that or pass out cold in public.

  Raven was in her car and pulling out of the parking lot when she felt another psychic push to keep her awake. Thanks again, Aura. She made it home safely, if not entirely lucid. After entering the house, she went straight to her room and fell across her bed fully dressed. She was asleep within seconds.

  *

  Wolves stirred in the underbrush, just beyond the light of the fire. The eerie howls tickled the hair on the back of her neck, and made her chest ache with their yearning.

  Shade opened her eyes slowly, and a full moon in a night sky full of thousands of stars shone brightly above her. She took a few deep breaths to prove she could. She didn’t sense anything or anyone, but the nagging feeling everything was wrong and out of place didn’t leave her. Her head was clearer than it had been, and she didn’t feel disoriented, she just wanted answers.

  She felt a raindrop hit her cheek, then another, but no clouds were above her. Shade, come back to us. Please. We miss you so much.

  Shade’s stomach twisted with grief. She knew that voice. Another drop hit her face, and she reached up to brush her cheek, tasted the drop on the tip of her tongue.

  Salty. Not rain, she realized, but tears.

  You have to fight. Don’t give up. We’re here for you.

  Something in her mind shifted, and she attempted to sit up, but was once again knocked flat by the pain shooting through her spine. “I can’t see you!” Bits and pieces of the past came back to her, and loving memories attached themselves to the melodic voice she could hear, but not reach.

  “Aura?”

  Thrashing erupted in the bushes. Branches bent, then broke and the air filled with the sounds of snarls and howls of pain. Shade shot a wary look to the left, away from the smoldering fire. The wolves looked frantic as they backed away from the forest, the hair on their backs stood straight up. Shit. That can’t be good.

  Two excruciatingly loud sonic booms vibrated the ground under her. The trees that encircled the clearing shook, and leaves showered to the ground before limbs began to crack and fall around her.

  The wolves whimpered and scattered, leaving Shade alone with the dying fire. She managed to get onto her side and pull herself along the forest floor by her elbows toward a large boulder almost twenty feet away. She was nearly there when the malicious laughter began, and the evil that emanated within it froze her blood, and paralyzed her.

  You didn’t think it would be easy, did you?

  Shade felt her eardrums strain and pop from the volume of the voice. She was scared out of her skull, but she wasn’t going to die until she faced whatever it was that came for her. She bit her lip against the pain and rolled over again.

  She had two seconds before she passed out again to wish she hadn’t bothered.

 
; *

  It was dark outside. Raven checked her clock, surprised to find that she’d been out for almost ten hours. She should have been back at Shade’s side by now.

  She hadn’t taken two steps toward her door before she staggered and leaned against the wall. She didn’t feel refreshed at all. If anything, she felt the same as she did before she went to sleep.

  Maybe a shower would help. When she’d finished, she was on her way back to her room when her mother stopped her in the hallway. “No, mija. You need to stay home tonight. You’re too drained to be out on the roads, or to help anyone.”

  Raven couldn’t argue with the tired part. The cold water hadn’t helped wake her up either. Still, she felt a spark of temper. “Why are you so against me being with Shade in the hospital? She needs me.”

  “No, Raven.”

  Her mother’s expression was closed off, and her tone matched the finality of her statement. Once again, she felt like a small child being told she couldn’t do something, though she felt an absolute need to do it. This was where the fights with her mother always started. And the more her mother pushed against her doing something, the faster Raven ran toward it.

  Dios, she had no energy to argue right now. Instead, she sidestepped her mother, entered her room, and opened a drawer to find a pair of yoga pants to make sure she was comfortable while trying to rest in such a hard environment.

  “Why are you so stubborn?” Her mother sat on the edge of Raven’s bed.

  Raven smiled in spite of her irritation. “I came by it honestly.”

  “Sit down, por favor.”

  She finished dressing and then sat next to her mother, who wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Raven was struck with the familiarity of love and laid her head on her shoulder. Her mother began rocking and humming an old traditional lullaby she’d used to put the children to bed. The soothing motion and melody had her melting into her mother’s side. It brought Raven to a lovely place, when things were simple, and they weren’t at odds all the time.

  Unexpectedly, she began to cry. The self-imposed pressure she’d heaped on herself after Shade’s accident began to lift. She hadn’t realized how scared she’d been because she’d refused to acknowledge it. That was the thing about fear and denial, both bit you in the ass when you least expected it. It was time to face it head on.

  “Mama, do you think she’s going to die?”

  Her mother’s grip around her tightened, but she remained quiet. Her silence caused Raven’s stomach to cramp, and she cried harder. “Please tell me.”

  “Only if you get back in bed and stay there until morning.”

  Raven shook her head. “No, it’s my job.”

  “It is not. Your job is as a receptionist, not a babysitter.”

  Why did her mother sound so cold? How could she talk to her about how she felt if she wouldn’t listen? Raven needed to throw down a virtual gauntlet, set an adult boundary. She wasn’t a child anymore. “Mama, I love Shade.”

  Her mother’s expression remained closed and she stayed silent.

  “Did you hear me?” Raven asked.

  “Sí.”

  “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

  “I’m thinking of how I’m going to say it.”

  Raven’s cell phone vibrated on the nightstand, and she jumped to answer it. Tiffany’s number appeared on the screen. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Raven. I wanted to call and let you know I’m taking your shift at the hospital tonight. Kat took Angel to the city, and I don’t want to stay home alone.”

  “Weren’t you supposed to move back to your old house today?”

  “Originally. Jordan’s friend completed the remodeling, but we decided to put it on the market instead. We’ll be looking for a new place to live in the next couple of weeks.”

  Raven thought that was a good thing. Of course Tiffany and her family wouldn’t want to stay in that house. A fresh start would be good for them.

  “So, listen,” Tiffany said. “How about you come in the morning, and we can have breakfast together.”

  “Are you sure?” Raven asked. She hadn’t missed a night since Shade was hurt, and she was anxious to see if she could reach her again.

  “I’m positive. In fact, I’m already here with her. Take a break, Raven. I’ll call you if anything changes.”

  What could she do but agree? “All right. I’ll see you about seven thirty?”

  “That sounds fine. Good night.”

  “Good night.” Raven placed the phone back on the table.

  “So, you’re staying home tonight?”

  “Apparently.” She looked down at her clothes and then went back to her dresser for pajamas. She was disappointed, but a full night’s sleep in an actual bed was undeniably appealing.

  “I’ll make you something to eat,” her mother said. “Go on, get in. I’ll bring it to you and we’ll talk.”

  Raven finished changing and got into bed, under the covers this time. Blanca, her white cat, joined her. She petted her absently, noticing the tangles in her normally pristine coat. “I’m sorry. I’ve been neglecting you.”

  There was no recrimination coming from Blanca, who continued to purr and knead Raven’s comforter while she combed the cat’s fur with her fingers. She rested with her eyes closed until her mother came in with a plate for her.

  To Raven’s surprise, without a word, her mother climbed into bed with her. Her energy was heavy with—what? It was unfamiliar. “Is everything okay with you?”

  The silence lasted.

  “Mama?”

  “I tried everything to keep this from happening.” Her mother’s expression was one of sadness.

  Raven shivered as her mother continued.

  “All those years ago, I saw this, and I prayed for it not to be true.”

  “What?” Raven asked the question, but she knew the answer. Her mother knew she’d been with Shade. Of course she would. She briefly wondered what it would have been like to grow up in a normal family, where such things were kept secret.

  But her mother didn’t answer. She kept talking to the wall and didn’t meet Raven’s eyes. “I kept the two of you apart by any means necessary.”

  “Look at me,” Raven said. “Mama, please, I need to know.”

  Her mother wiped her eyes with a tissue she’d pulled from her pocket, and finally looked at her.

  Resignation.

  That’s the energy her mother wore, and that—more than anything—scared her the most. Her mother was never defeated; she was the strongest woman Raven had ever met.

  “What did you see?”

  Her mother sighed heavily, her entire manner one of reluctance.

  “The necromancer and the witch.”

  Chapter Five

  Shade came back to consciousness slowly.

  She was back in the tunnel.

  The agony was omnipresent. It took on a life of its own and became the only thing to exist during, and between, each breath.

  It was cold and she was soaking wet. The pain and the nagging feeling she was missing a critical piece of information wouldn’t ease. She felt a sense of urgency, and she knew if she didn’t solve the puzzle soon, she’d be here forever.

  Lost inside a demented board game, do not pass go, do not collect…

  She managed to turn her head to look down the tunnel and saw a light in the distance.

  Realization came in tiny degrees, until her location was clear. The astral plane she traveled as a necromancer. The place she used to kick ass, take names, and force the dead to give up their secrets.

  Her short-term memory told her she’d been here for an eternity. She closed her eyes and strained for more answers. Come on…how did I get here?

  In her mind, she saw fire, burning with intense flashes of orange and red, but attempting to look past the black smoke only intensified the stabbing pain in her temples.

  She couldn’t find her lifeline, her connection to her physical body. Trapped in this nightmare, she tr
ied not to give her fear validity, but trembled at the thought she might be dead after all. Is this it, then? Is this what hell is like?

  A nasty hissing noise came from the other direction.

  “Lay-see.”

  Fucking awesome. A tortured spirit who knew her name.

  “Ish Mommy!”

  “Oh, hell no.” Shade fought the ball of nausea forming in her stomach and turned away from the light.

  Story of her life.

  “Waiting for you.”

  “Wait a little longer, would you?” Shade was furious and forced herself to her feet, surprised at the lack of pain in her back.

  A cacophony of blood-curdling screams pressed in on her eardrums, and the reverberation through the tunnels intensified the pressure until she was sure they were going to burst.

  Clods of dirt hit her in the back, and hands burst through the walls, waving maniacally in their blind attempts to grab her.

  One made contact with her arm, and it burned along her skin like a razor blade. The claws left three bloody scratches in their wake.

  She backed away from the attack and into a body, and she whirled to face her mother.

  Bile burned in the back of her throat when she got a good look at her. In the decades since seeing her first dead person, Shade had been spared seeing her mother’s death mask.

  Now she saw the full impact of her murder. The left side of her face was sunken from what must have been a powerful blow that appeared to have broken her cheekbone. Her head tilted at an odd angle, the result of having her throat cut from ear to ear, a gaping tear that left little to support the weight of her skull.

  Her mother smiled at her obvious discomfort, but Shade found it impossible to spare even an ounce of pity for the woman who had sold her when she was eight years old.

  “Ungrateful leech. You were lucky I waited that long.”

  Shade’s body shook with the force of her anger. “Did you really just fucking say that? No wonder you’re stuck here.”

  A whistling, sucking sound resembling a laugh erupted from her mother’s open throat. It was just wrong, Shade thought, vile and wrong. She had to get away while she still had respite from the pain in her back.