The Deadening

by Yvonne Heidt

  Who the fuck was she kidding anyway? Phaedra was right. More often than not, Shade enjoyed playing on the dark side. It, at least, welcomed her with open arms.

  Shade stared at Phaedra’s feet. Her toenails were painted a polished steel color, shining against her bronze skin. She let her gaze travel up her long, long legs, to the silver scrap of material resting on her hips. She didn’t have to see between Phaedra’s thighs, the scent of desire was a delicious ambrosia inviting her to sample. She licked her lips and continued to look up, registered first, her small waist, then the full breasts, and her gilded nipples.

  When she finally met Phaedra’s eyes, she felt captured.

  In any fantasy Shade might have had of a perfect seductress, Phaedra could slide seamlessly into it. Shade wanted to flip her onto her back, force open her thighs, and give Phaedra what she so obviously wanted. Make her scream.

  Remember the fucking tail.

  Shade quickly looked down and cursed under her breath. She used to know better, to never look a demon in the eyes.

  Undeterred, Phaedra purred seductively in her ear. “You know you want me.” She placed a hand against the crotch of her jeans, and Shade was horrified when her hips bucked toward the pressure, and her own body welcomed Phaedra’s touch. It shot straight to Shade’s core, tripping a vibration of need, creating an empty space that begged to be filled.

  And it terrified her.

  *

  Sunny and Tiffany had taken a detour to the ladies’ room, so Raven was the first to get to Shade’s door. When she opened it, she heard a woman talking, and assumed it was Randi until she heard the actual words spoken.

  “I only wanted to love you. Why wouldn’t you love me back? Look at what you made me do.” Hysterical sobbing was followed by an eerily gleeful giggling. “Now look who’s broken. Not me. Nope!”

  Raven rushed to the divider and then threw the curtain open with a force that broke several of the hooks. “Who the hell are you? You’re going to want to step away, right now.”

  The woman ducked and pulled her ball cap lower over her forehead to hide her face. She backed up to the wall, where she tried to slide by Raven, who blocked her exit.

  Raven was distracted when she noticed Shade was completely exposed. She rushed to her side to fix the sheet which was indecently pulled down to her knees, while her gown had been scrunched up and gathered under her chin. “How dare you!” She was livid and ready to kick her ass, but the intruder had disappeared when her back was turned.

  Tiffany’s screech echoed down the hall. “It’s her, it’s her!”

  “Catch her!” Sunny yelled. “She’s the one who tried to kill our Shade.”

  Raven’s hair crackled with electricity and swirled around her face. She closed her eyes and pushed for a spell, but she was too furious to concentrate. The commotion in the hall grew louder, and she quit trying.

  Tiffany ran into the room. “Is she okay?”

  “Who was that?” Raven was calm because she’d already made a vow that as soon as she got home, she’d perform a blood spell, and Raven would find the woman who’d molested Shade while she was helpless. She imprinted the intruder’s energy signature into her mind.

  “Her real name is Sabrina-something, nickname Beenie, and she was the one who orchestrated my ex-husband’s attempt to kill her a few months ago.” Tiffany’s voice wavered. “Omigod, she may even be responsible for the bombing.”

  “Is that so?” If Raven had known what Beenie looked like before she caught her in this room, she’d never have gotten away. Then again, maybe it was better for Raven that she hadn’t. Hospitals were a very public place, and for what she had in mind…Raven kept herself from finishing the thought. All of the women worked consistently on keeping their energy pure when in Shade’s room, to keep the atmosphere full of love and healing light. It wasn’t always easy to do because the hospital, as inanimate as it appeared, possessed an aura of its own, a smorgasbord of death, regret, despair, and hopelessness, all wrapped in a smothering, pervasive blanket of fear.

  Sometimes, the walk from her car to Shade’s room made Raven feel as if she were running a gauntlet. It seemed to her that each day she came, there were more ghosts in the hall, looking for someone to help them. Raven needed to talk with her mother about the increase in her abilities, as she’d never been aware of so many spirits at once.

  But that would have to wait. First, she had a score to settle for Shade.

  And for herself. Raven wouldn’t have any problem carrying out any retribution if it were deserved. She didn’t have a clear line in her mind that said “don’t cross” when it came to her magic. She would do what she thought needed to be done and deal with whatever consequences came back threefold into her lap. It was a very good thing indeed for Beenie to have disappeared quickly. This way, Raven would have time to calm down and plan advantageously.

  She still brimmed with nervous energy, and her hands shook while she brushed Shade’s hair.

  “Okay, let’s breathe this out. We’ll get her.” Tiffany rubbed her back, and a welcomed soothing rush of energy followed shortly after.

  “Thank you,” Raven said. “And yes, I will.”

  “I’m not even going to ask any questions. We all love Shade, Raven, but I have a feeling you’re the one that’s going to make her happy.”

  “I hope so,” Raven said. “I really do.”

  The remnants of Sunny’s rage spiked the energy in the room when she returned. Raven realized she was getting better at reading their little group as a whole, but she refused to crawl when she wanted to run. “I’m so done with this,” Raven said. “I’m going to use Shade’s necromancy to call her back.”

  Sunny’s eyes widened. “I’ve told you. In Shade’s unconscious state, we’d run the danger of bringing something back with her.”

  “Can’t we just banish it if it does?” Raven asked. “I mean really, we’re all strong here.”

  Tiffany shook her head. “That’s a dark magic. I can’t do it. Neither can Sunny.”

  Raven wasn’t going to give in this time. She was getting stronger every day, becoming more like her father than she ever realized was possible. “Well, I can. So can my mother and my family.”

  “Are you sure?” Tiffany asked.

  Raven nodded. “After what just happened, she’s in danger here, and I’d rather be proactive than sit and wait for something to happen. The waiting is driving me crazy.”

  “I think it’s time,” Sunny said. “We need a plan.” She dug her phone out of her purse and walked out into the hallway.

  “I also have some calls to make,” Raven said. “I’ll be back.”

  Tiffany nodded and took her place at Shade’s side where Raven knew she would resume sending healing energy into her body.

  In the space of an hour, her insecurities masked as fear had been replaced with a quiet confidence. The battle lines had been drawn, her enemies revealed, and it was time to fulfill the prophecy.

  *

  Shade was disoriented when she opened her eyes, but the feeling was quickly replaced with humiliation when she remembered riding Phaedra’s hand. She tried to move, only to find her back seized up again.

  “What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?” Phaedra crouched next to her. “I’ve got a good use for it.”

  If she hadn’t been currently paralyzed, Shade knew she would have been crippled with self-loathing and hatred. As it stood now, she could barely turn her face away. “No, no. Can’t have that.” Phaedra grabbed the back of Shade’s hair, covered her mouth with her own, and slid her tongue past Shade’s teeth.

  Shade’s lust was instant, and she raised her hands to stop Phaedra from topping her, but came in contact with her breasts instead, filling her palms with soft, hot flesh.

  Phaedra hissed and arched against her. “Yesss.”

  The pain disappeared, and Shade experienced a rush of endorphins better than any high she’d yet to experience. The euphoria Phaedra’s kiss released pump
ed through her bloodstream; two things remained in her consciousness: her hatred of Phaedra, and the fire between her thighs.

  Shade lunged against her, and the momentum flipped Phaedra onto her back. Shade forced her thigh between her legs and pinned her arms above her head.

  Phaedra laughed, and her hips danced beneath Shade’s while she ground against her.

  Slick with sweat from the heat of the fire, Shade was a little surprised to find her clothes were gone, but it didn’t stop her rhythm. She was going to fuck her straight into the ground. Each time Phaedra moaned, Shade felt more of her strength return. Sharp teeth bit into her shoulder, and she cried out when she felt sharp claws digging furrows into her back. The sting and the smell of blood brought her back to her senses.

  I don’t want this. She heard the crack a split second before she felt a blow behind her ear. Phaedra’s tail wound around her, squeezed, and threw her several feet away. Shade heard her spine crack on impact, and the agonizing pain returned.

  “Choose, necromancer.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Choose what?”

  “You have to want me. Pick me, all I stand for, and I can make all the agony of your miserable life disappear.”

  Shade’s will went to war with her body’s need for sexual, emotional, and spiritual release. It was getting harder for her to remember why she was fighting so hard, but she refused to cower. “No, final answer.”

  Phaedra waved her hand in front of her face; her features shifted and changed in its wake. Her white hair morphed to blond, and she glared at Shade with one green eye and one blue.

  “Don’t you fucking do that.” Shade hissed back at her. “You don’t get to bring Sunny in here. Not ever.”

  Phaedra shifted back, but she’d done irreparable damage with her trick. Shade remembered why she’d been resisting. Overwhelming grief made her feel as if her chest were going to split open.

  Shade screamed until the illusion shattered like broken glass, and she saw her reflection come back to her in the pieces. She felt herself slip away, growing smaller, disappearing into the shards, until there was nothing left for her to hold on to.

  *

  Raven sat in the one padded chair in the space. She was both nervous and excited. Tiffany was guarding the door to make sure there were no interruptions, and Sunny sat in the other, harder chair, to combine her energy with Raven’s.

  She wasn’t sure how to do this again. She hadn’t been trying when she fell into the last dream walk. “Tell me again why you can’t come with me? Wouldn’t we have a better chance together?”

  Sunny’s expression was full of sadness. “I can’t go there.”

  Raven’s anxiety lessened. She wasn’t afraid of going alone, and that’s why she was meant for Shade. She could and would go to the dark places Sunny was banned from. Raven knew it was out of necessity for Sunny’s spiritual light. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of triumph.

  “Good for you,” Sunny said.

  Raven twitched and stared at her, but there was no evident sarcasm in her statement. “Are we good to go then?”

  Tiffany looked down the hall. “Shift change. We have time. Go.”

  Raven imagined the tools, herbs, and offerings she would have used, while she cast a circle in her mind. She hoped it was enough. The rituals were important for focus and intent. She felt a little lost without them, but continued anyway.

  She stared at Shade’s face for clarity, even though she’d already memorized every detail and shadow. She closed her eyes, held Shade’s exact mirror image in her mind, and inhaled deeply before whispering and weaving the spell around her image.

  “Mistress of night, open my dream eyes, and guard my flight. Find my love, bring her to sight, aide me in my attempt to fight. As I will it, so shall it be.”

  Raven felt a push of light from Sunny’s direction. She held on to the armrest and forced her taut muscles to relax while she opened her mind to the astral plane.

  Much faster than she expected, Raven was traveling down a dark tunnel. Unruly laughter echoed through the small space, rolling around her, growing in volume, until every hair on her body lifted with her terror. She realized how unprepared she was to actually walk the darkness on her own.

  Look, fresh meat.

  The voice hissed right next to her in the dark, and Raven startled violently while she fought her revulsion.

  I get her first.

  The voices were guttural, inhuman, and oh, so close.

  She frantically searched for the small astral trail connected to her physical body, and ran a slideshow of positive, love-filled images of her family and her time with Shade.

  A powerful force slammed her backward.

  Raven’s breath whooshed into her lungs the same instant her eyes opened and she saw Sunny’s and Tiffany’s concerned faces.

  *

  Shade floated in the never ending black abyss, weightless, emotionless. She couldn’t feel anything at all, but unlike when she was drowning, the peace she sought was unobtainable as thoughts continued to spiral through her consciousness. She wasn’t at all afraid, and wondered somewhat idly if this is what it felt like to be a baby in a warm womb.

  Shade became aware of a drum in the distance. The steady repetition beat against her body and brought feeling back to her skin, separating her from the safety of oblivion, and it brought her further into awareness.

  The pounding increased until gradually, she felt the solid surface of the earth beneath her, and realized the drumming was her own heartbeat.

  When she opened her eyes, she was looking at the tunnel entrance across from where she sat. A tiny blue orb danced in the distance. Shade willed herself to go toward the light, despite her reservation of the entities that lived in it.

  The color of life was visible, tantalizing her, but staying out of reach. Just like so much of her life had been, elusive and hidden in the smoke of time.

  She asked herself why she hadn’t simply given up yet. Sunny had Jordan; Tiffany and Angel had Kat to protect them. Shade didn’t want to continue being the one they worried about. Hell, she couldn’t even function any more without chemicals of some kind.

  A small breeze blew past and brought with it a nagging feeling she was still missing something. The light danced closer, near enough she could see tiny spinning stars of yellow weaving in and around the blue orb of energy.

  The signature felt familiar—like the stranger you meet and you know you’ve met before, but couldn’t quite pin down.

  Shade knew there were more answers hidden in her mind, solutions she couldn’t reach, but she couldn’t drum up enough energy to pursue them.

  The insistent caw of a crow screeched in the tunnel, unleashing another level of urgency within her, but Shade found herself slipping away again, unable to do anything about it.

  When she woke again, she halfheartedly tried to consciously will herself out of this place, but she didn’t budge. Her ass was numb. After she shifted her position, she looked down. Next to her was a large, shiny black feather.

  The missing pieces came together like cymbals in a fancy orchestra finale.

  The sound of beating wings, the crow calling, the feather.

  Raven.

  The bomb.

  The fire.

  All of it rushed back to Shade at once, making her dizzy and sick to her stomach.

  The sound of clapping came from beyond the light of the fire that had just sprung up from the cold ashes. “Brava,” Phaedra said. “Finally, we can get down to business.”

  Shade ignored her and continued to file the pieces of memory that returned. Raven had bravely come to this hellhole, not once, but twice, in order to save her.

  “You don’t deserve her.”

  Shade’s jaw tightened, and her teeth ground together. She really fucking hated that hissing sound, but her words were true. She tried to swallow the shame she felt about the way she’d treated Raven.

  “Pay attention,” Phaedra said.
Her tail cut through the air with precision and it stopped a fraction of an inch away from Shade’s face.

  Shade didn’t flinch. “Go to hell.”

  “Oh, that’s rich.” Phaedra laughed. “We’re already there.” Red light flowed from within her eyes. “And the next time your lover comes, I will slam the gates and keep her.”

  The threat turned Shade’s blood cold in her veins. She’d rather die than let that happen.

  “Really?” Phaedra asked. “Your self-sacrifice is amusing. What happened to you?”

  Shade glared at her. “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Phaedra said, then leapt across the fire and landed next to her. “I do know you. Fucking hypocrite.” Phaedra jabbed Shade’s chest with a pointed claw before continuing. “You abused your power with a don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, and then compromised souls with your absolute arrogance. What makes you think you’re any better than me? You—with your drug addiction and pathetic depression. You positively stink of self-pity.”

  Shade had harsh words to spit back in self-defense, but found they wouldn’t leave her throat. Phaedra was right.

  “Don’t you get it?” Phaedra asked. “You created this place, and you have no one to blame but yourself.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “Can you guess what I was before I came here?”

  “I have no idea,” Shade said. “Why don’t you enlighten me?” She kept her voice calm and even. She didn’t want Phaedra to know how much her verbal attack had shaken her.

  Phaedra grinned. “I was a necromancer.” She poked Shade again, accentuating each word with more sharp jabs of her claw nails. . “Just. Like. You.”

  The truth in her words washed Shade with a chill from head to toe. The elation she’d felt when she remembered Raven quickly faded into despair and guilt.

  I’m never getting out of here.

  Chapter Eight