Seeing Clearly

by Casey McMillin

  My mom danced across the kitchen to tell us good morning and merry Christmas. She gave both of us hugs. "Your mugs are on the counter and the breakfast casserole is warm in the oven. Rachel and Emily cut up some fruit, too. It's in the fridge."

  "Thanks Mom. I'm having a baby." Holy shit-bombs, did I just say that out loud? I looked from my mother to the other shocked faces in the room. From the looks of things, I had indeed made the confession out loud.

  "We're having a baby," Joel corrected casually. He came alongside me and put a protective arm around my shoulders. "The news is still brand new to all of us, but it's going to be great. We're excited."

  I smiled, confirming his words. I was nervous about their reaction, but really glad to have it in the open. The decision to have the baby and give in to my feelings for Joel felt so comfortable. I had no doubts whatsoever. Instead of listening to how my family would react to Joel's explanation, I gave in to the urge to reach up and kiss him on the side of his face.

  "Get a room!" my oldest brother, Graham yelled from the living room. He hadn't heard any of the conversation that went on before he looked up from the bike and caught sight of me kissing him.

  "Oh hush," my mom yelled. "You didn't hear what your sister just told us."

  "What'd she tell you? She needs to get a room."

  "A hospital room… in about nine months," my mom said.

  "What?" Graham asked. "You're having a baby? When'd you two get married?" He knew the answer, but what sort of big brother would he be if he didn't ask, right?

  "She'll marry me." Joel said with easy confidence. "She's just letting one thing sink in at a time." My brother got up from the bike he'd been putting together and had a momentary stare down with Joel, the type of thing where unspoken threats were made on both sides. After whatever truce was made, my brother smiled at Joel, then came over to me and gave me a hug.

  "Congratulations Gretchie. You look happy. And it seems like Joel understands that we want you to remain that way, which is such a relief. I wasn't sure if I could take a guy his size. Dad and Garrett are in the garage, so they probably wouldn't hear the ruckus till it was too late, and Collin would probably side with him."

  "You were actually thinking about possible fist fight outcomes?" I asked, incredulous.

  "Of course," my brother said. "But he's okay. I think he's fond of you."

  "Yeah, that's probably a good choice," Joel said, inferring that my brother backed down on account of being scared. "I killed it at Wii Boxing last night, and I'm pretty sure that makes me legit in real life."

  "There's no way you'd beat me. Where was I when you played that? Who'd you go against? My five-year-old?"

  "I won against everybody who was still awake after nine o'clock, and I'm pretty sure I'm untouchable right now anyway."

  "What's that supposed to mean?" Graham asked, his brows drawn together in confusion.

  "I beat Gretchen at a stare down last night."

  "No you didn't and if you did, she let you win. Gretchen's got plugs in her eyes to stop up the tears from running out the tear ducts. She used to have dry eyes until Mom brought her to an eye doctor who put little plastic plugs into her tear ducts so the tears couldn't drain."

  I looked at Gretchen to see if what he was saying was true. She nodded. "It's true. I have plugs, but it's not like they keep in every drop." She looked at me with a shrug. "You did beat me last night, fair and square."

  "Gretchen, as much as I love hearing about your eye moisture situation, I have to tell you, I'm more interested in other areas of your life right now." Mom looked from Joel to me with a concerned expression on her face. "Does this mean you two are together?"

  Joel and I both said, "Yes," at the same time. The room was silent, and everyone was looking at us. Collin's phone made a buzz from the bar. He quickly scooped it up and walked out of the room, trying not to interrupt what was shaping up to be a Lifetime movie moment.

  Mom broke the silence after Collin left the room. "What are you going to do about the show?"

  I sighed, not because I was regretful of quitting the show… I just felt like everyone else would assume I should be regretful. I didn't know how I would handle it if they were sad for me, because I couldn't have been more excited with the way my life was shaping up. "Listen, I've said for a couple of years now that acting would be a means to get to my real goal which was opening a community arts center." I looked into the faces of some of my closest friends and family. "Joel helped me with that dream. We're going to open it together." I shifted so I could look at Joel. "He's hired a whole team of experts to help me run the place, including Emily there who knew more about this than I did until last night."

  "I'm excited about it," Emily said sweetly. "It's going to be beautiful! Did you see the sketch of the dance studio?"

  I looked at Joel, who shrugged. "What? I didn't expect to tell you about it while we were here. I have a few sketches… they're all rough, and nothing's set in stone. You'll have total control."

  "I'm sorry," Emily said. "I didn't realize you hadn't seen them."

  "Oh, no don't be sorry," I said. "I'm glad I have something to look at when we get back to the city. And I'm really glad you're going to be involved, Em. It's gonna be great." I looked at my mother. "I know you well enough to know what you're worried about… and yes, I'm leaving the show on good terms. I think I helped the producers find my replacement."

  "You're kidding!" my mom said. "Who?"

  "Well, I hate to say anything since it's not official, but I may wind up in a position where I have to help Rachel find another new assistant."

  Rachel thought that news was too hilarious to be bummed out about. "If you would've given me three guesses, I would've gotten it right," she said. "Sometimes when I catch Bailey making the right expression, I can really see the resemblance. I think you guys have the same mouth or something. What are they going to do about her hair? Is she going to be a redhead?"

  "Well, like I said, things aren't a hundred percent yet, but yeah, if she gets the job she'll be made to look as close to me as they can get her."

  "Keeping it all in the family," my brother chimed in. "At least I still have a shot at getting my wife a tour of the place. She's been telling me to ask you, but I keep forgetting."

  "Graham, all you had to do was ask. Becca can come by the studio anytime. I'm going to be there for a few more weeks, maybe a month… just tell her to call me."

  "So," my mom said, trying to steer us back to the topic at hand one last time, "let me get this straight so I can fill in your father... you're quitting your job, starting a non-profit, and having a baby. Is that everything?" Looking back and fourth from me to Joel, she asked, "Are you two moving in together?"

  "Yes," Joel said without hesitation. I just looked at him. I'd considered the question, but I hadn't been able to imagine myself making that move just yet. Feeling myself tucked into his protective embrace and looking into his beautiful face, made me realize I rather liked the idea of waking up next to him every morning. "I guess that's a yes, which also means I live with Bruce Willis."

  "Yeah, sort of…" Joel gave me a look of mock regret. "I feel like I should tell you he doesn't live there anymore, per say. Actually, he doesn't even come by to check on the place."

  I laughed at him.

  Joel looked up at the crowd at large. "Bruce did sell me the furniture in the guesthouse which is always open to any of you." He looked at me and smiled before looking back at the family. "I love her, and I'm going to take care of her."

  "Awwww," My mother couldn't stand it. She rushed over to us and grabbed us both up in a big bear hug. I heard kind words coming from the rest of the people in the kitchen.

  Collin chose this moment to come back into the kitchen. "What all did I miss?" he asked, looking at my mom, who was wiping away some happy tears.

  "I'm not sure where you walked out," Rachel said, "but there's a job switcheroo, some new hair do's, a baby… which I think you heard, a community cen
ter, and… Is that all? Oh, no. How could I forget? Gretchen's moving into Joel's house, which was once Bruce Willis'. Gretchen and Joel are going to invite us over because Bruce comes by all the time to reminisce over wine and cheese." Collin looked at Rachel like he wasn't sure how much of that to believe. "Most of it's true," she said. "All but the Bruce Willis part."

  "Sounds like some big stuff," Collin said. "I guess congratulations are in order." He walked over to Joel and me, half-hugging us as he slapped Joel on the shoulder. Collin turned to my mom who was standing right beside me. "I'm sorry to spring it on you, but I just talked to a friend of mine, and he'd really love to join us for Christmas dinner. Do you mind if he comes over?"

  "My goodness no, sweetheart. You tell anyone you want to come on over."

  "Who is it?" Rachel asked.

  "Ethan."

  "Ethan's in town?" She asked, surprised.

  "No, he's driving up from San Diego. Seems like none of us told him we ran into Emily the other night. He got all mad just now when I mentioned she was here."

  "Should I leave, you think?" Emily asked, looking nervous and self-conscious.

  Collin looked at her, incredulous. "Should you leave?" he laughed. "You're the only reason he's driving up here."

  "I am?" she asked, unable to suppress a smile. "Did he say something about me on the phone? What'd he say?"

  Collin glanced around the room deciding how he felt about repeating whatever it was Ethan had said on the phone. He smiled at Emily. "I'll tell you later."