Love's Secret Torment

by Stacy L. Darnell

  “Hi John. I’m Sam.”

  “Hey, nice to meet ya.” He winked.

  Suddenly, the girls took off, and I was left standing by the stairs, alone. I watched as they ran up to who I figured must have been Riley and Quinn. They spread their arms wide and grabbed the girls by their waists. Tamron and Alison squealed in unison, then proceeded to kiss their boyfriends. I sighed, longing for that type of happiness again.

  Their kisses held a tenderness that seemed oddly out of place, the type that made you feel like you were imposing on a private moment, only they couldn’t care less about sharing it in front of anyone who happened to be in the room. It was almost as if they were in their own little worlds, and none of the fifty or so people partying around them even existed.

  My heart ached for the loss of what I’d had with Alec. Unable to watch any longer, I turned to go upstairs and find a bathroom when I ran smack into a naked chest—a hard, tanned, muscular chest. I stopped and looked up at the body I’d collided with to see the sexiest lips on the cutest smirk, coupled with the most incredible blue eyes I’d ever seen.

  His hair was jet black, in stark contrast with his mesmerizing eyes, and so sexy, I didn’t realize I was staring at them, nor was I aware that my hands were still pushed up flat against his chest. He cleared his throat, and I regained my composure. He looked past me to where the girls and their boyfriends were still standing and shook his head with a laugh.

  “I’m so sorry,” I blurted out.

  “Oh, no, it’s okay darlin.’ They’ve run me out of the room plenty of times.” He chuckled. “Hey, would you like a beer? I was going to grab one and head outside for some fresh air. You’re welcome to join me.”

  I smiled up at him. “Sure, a beer sounds good, and the fresh air sounds even better.” Don’t stare, Sam, don’t stare . . . don’t be a creeper.

  “Cool, I’ll grab them and meet you outside. The back door is down the hall through the back of the kitchen.”

  As I walked through the house, I could feel everyone’s eyes staring at me. I knew it was the ridiculous outfit Tamron and Alison talked me into wearing. Jeans and a t-shirt, I’d declared. Well, I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, all right, but the jeans were cut into barely-there shorts. If they had normal pockets, they would have been longer than the hem of the shorts. I guess the designer had planned it that way, because the front pockets were barely deep enough for my lip-gloss and car keys. Then there was the t-shirt . . . yes, I also got to wear a t-shirt, like I said, but it was about two sizes too small and clung to my chest like a second layer of skin, stopping just above my freshly-pierced belly button.

  “Why have the piercing if you’re going to hide it?” Tamron had asked.

  “Show it off. It’s adorable and sexy . . .” Alison added.

  I was too frustrated to remind them they had coerced me into getting it in the first place, even though I had always loved the idea of getting one. So there I was, walking through the frat house half-full of drunken college guys, to go outside and hide from staring eyes. I could feel people looking at me and hated being so self-conscious.

  I heard the French doors close behind me a moment after I walked outside and there he was, Mr. Hot Stuff, walking toward me with two beers. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He motioned for me to sit down on the lounge chairs as he set our beers on a table between them. He had that cute smirk on his face again and held his hand out toward me.

  “So now we can really meet each other. Hi, I’m Emmett. I live here with Riley and Quinn.”

  “Hi, I’m Sam,” I smiled softly. “Alison and Tamron have been my best friends for as long as I can remember. I’m in town visiting them for a while. It’s nice to meet you.”

  He was staring into my eyes; it felt very intense, like he could see straight through me to my soul. But, at the same time, it was comfortable. It was so weird. I didn’t understand it.

  “Tell me about yourself. Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “Well, I just had a bad breakup, so I’m not really looking for a relationship. He really hurt me,” I said as I twisted at my bracelet.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. Guys can be such dicks sometimes. It sounds like you’re better off without him. Even in a breakup, things can be handled nicely, or at least respectfully.”

  “He was a good guy. I don’t really know what happened. But anyway, this is an ex-boyfriend free zone. I don’t want to think about him. Let’s just talk and get to know each other a little. Tamron and Alison dragged me here. I may as well have fun,” I said. “What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”

  I wasn’t sure why I suddenly felt nervous about his answer. I just met him. But I was nervous of what he would say, just the same.

  “No, I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t really do the girlfriend thing.”

  I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I used it as another nail in my box of ‘I don’t want another relationship anytime this millennia’ reminder.

  “Okay, to each their own.” I laughed. “What are you studying in school? Do you go to Auburn, as well?”

  “Yeah, I’m a sophomore. Planning on going to med school after I graduate. I hope eventually to become a trauma surgeon.”

  “Oh, that’s cool, I want to be a psychologist.”

  “Sweet, we have something in common then. We both care about the wellbeing of others,” he said, smiling over at me.

  “Yeah, I’ve always wanted to help people, and I think mental illness is one of the most misunderstood conditions people face. I just want to make a positive difference with my life.”

  We sat there for a couple hours, talking about our likes, hopes, and dreams, laughing at random girls being thrown into the pool, cracking up at the guys who got suckered into helping them get out, only to be jerked in with them at the last minute.

  I didn’t know how many beers we’d had before he came out with a couple glasses of ice water.

  “Where’s the beer?” I giggled.

  He shook his head. “No more beer tonight,” he said. “If I am lucky enough to spend the night with you, I want to remember it tomorrow. And I sure as hell want you to remember it, too.”

  It was a ‘come fuck me line’ if I’d ever heard one, and I’ll admit, it’s the best one I’d heard yet. I wasn’t looking for a rebound fling, but even I could see he was sex on legs, so I decided, what the hell, in for a penny, in for a pound.

  Maybe the beer was doing all my thinking, but I hoped this would help ease the hurt. At the very least, it would be a temporary Band-Aid on my heart. As Emmett sat down, I took a deep breath and stood up, smiling at the shocked but excited expression on his face as I pulled him back up to his feet. I led us to the French doors and walked inside.

  I didn’t even notice the girls as we walked through the house. Whatever. They were having fun, and I was happy for them. Emmett paused in the kitchen and traded our water for some sweet tea. Then we headed up the stairs to his bedroom. I wondered where my panicky feelings were. I’d only ever been with Alec. My heart was broken. Yet here I was, following a guy I’d just met upstairs into his bedroom.

  Yup. Had to be the beer.

  But I was comfortable. I wasn’t scared, nervous or worried if I was making a mistake. It felt as if we’d known each other forever, as if it was natural to have this strong, sexual attraction.

  He opened the door to his room and stood back so I could walk in first, closing and locking the door behind him. I spun around at the sound of the lock clicking into place.

  “Just to be sure no one stumbles in here looking for the bathroom. The last thing I want is some drunken fool interrupting us. Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna change,” he said

  I sat on the edge of his bed, not sure what to do with myself. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and tossed them on his bed. When I turned around, his back was to me as he pulled his jeans down. He had the finest ass I’d ever seen, hotter than Channing Tatum’s, and that’s really saying something.r />
  But Emmett’s ass, mother of God, I was practically drooling, and even checked to make sure. Thank God I wasn’t, but holy hell, I wanted to get my hands on this guy. In less than a minute, the jeans were off and his shorts were on, and sadly, that beautiful, naked ass was out of sight.

  Damn.

  He reached into his top drawer and shuffled around, looking for something. As he closed the drawer I saw a foil packet in his hand. I was on the pill, but we couldn’t be too careful.

  Emmett had the naughtiest expression on his face as he walked around to the edge of his bed where I was sitting.

  For a moment, I worried about getting hurt again, the way Alec had hurt me. But I pushed those thoughts away and decided to face that possibility another day. Emmett said he didn’t really do the girlfriend thing, so maybe it was okay to get lost in him once. Or twice . . .

  He stood over me, and I swallowed hard as my gaze traveled from the waist of his shorts, up his naked chest, to his intense blue eyes.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked as he took my hand in his.

  “No . . . yes.” I choked out a laugh. “I guess it comes and goes. One minute I think this is crazy, and the next I feel like it’s normal.”

  He pulled me up to him, lowered his mouth to mine, and kissed me softly. “It’s normal to think that.” His teeth tugged at my ear. “But let’s not think tonight . . . let’s just feel.” He ran his hands through my hair, capturing my mouth with his and kissing me breathless.

  I kissed him back just as frantically, losing myself in the feel of him. I stiffened as his hands settled on the small of my back.

  “Don’t worry.” He laid kisses on my neck and inhaled deeply. “You can trust me.”

  I sighed with relief as his mouth closed over mine again and he tugged at the bottom of my shirt. Lifting it over my head, he stepped back and looked at my black lacey bra. He smiled as he brushed his hand lightly over my skin, leaving a tingling trail across my flesh. Emmett was a force of nature. His presence commanded my attention, and my body answered of its own accord.

  Emboldened by his touch, I ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders, pulling him back to me, kissing him. He reached down and unbuttoned my shorts, never breaking eye contact with me. My body shook slightly as he lowered my zipper and pushed my shorts down to my ankles. I held onto his arms as I stepped out of them, and reached for the waistband of his shorts, tugging them off. As he lowered me to his bed, I had a flash of Alec and the blond. I locked that memory away and let Emmett make a new one in its place.

  The next morning, I woke up with Emmett’s arm around me and my head resting against his chest. I could feel his eyes on me. It was so quiet in the house, a stark contrast to the previous night. As I lay there, still as stone, and wondered what would happen next.

  I was out of my element. Way—the hell—out. As I lay there in bed, everything felt normal. But I was the farthest from normal as I’d ever been. My own breathing was distracting me. How could it not when every single breath I exhaled caused silky brown hair to float up in my face?

  Sam.

  Last night, we met at the frat party. We drank, talked, and fucked. That was normal for me. Yeah, I was a player. I knew it, and was totally cool with it. The abnormal part was waking up the next morning with the girl’s head on my chest and my arm wrapped around her as she slept.

  Her breathing was an even rhythm, combined with the faint flowery scent in her hair, and it was almost enough to lull me back to sleep. Almost—if I didn’t have to pee. I slowly withdrew my arm and gently positioned her head on my pillow. I was fascinated by the way her hair draped along her bare back and shoulders.

  I walked around to the end of my bed, grabbed my shorts off the floor, and pulled them on. I didn’t want another traumatizing event if I ran into Tamron or Alison in the hallway on my way to the bathroom.

  My damn door creaked as I opened it, and I glanced back at the girl asleep in my bed. She stirred a little, but only enough to roll over onto her other side, exposing a hint of her perfect breast. Flashes of how kissable it was flooded my mind, and I forced myself to walk out of my room before I acted on my urges.

  After relieving myself, I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my reflection.

  What the fuck am I doing? I never let them spend the night. And to make things even more complicated, she’s the girls’ best friend. I raked my hands down my face. They’re gonna fuckin skin me alive. No—they’ll just chop my dick off—even better.

  I’d intended to walk past my room and keep going downstairs, but when I got to my bedroom door, I couldn’t stop myself from peeking in at Sam. She was beautiful. Funny. Smart. Sexy as hell. But she’d been hurt, and hurt bad by the little glimpse I had of the pain in her eyes when she briefly mentioned her ex last night.

  What a rat bastard.

  And now, she had me to deal with. I didn’t even know what I was doing. I just hoped I didn’t mix up her life anymore than it already was. I quietly closed my door and headed downstairs. Just before I made it down, I heard a low whistle from the floor above me. I looked up to see Quinn standing at the top of the stairs, motioning me to come back up.

  “What’s up, man?” I asked when I reached him.

  “Apparently you, as usual.” He laughed.

  I leaned back against the wall. “Yeah. You know how it is.” I tried to act normal.

  “So, who was she? Did she get all clingy when you told her she couldn’t spend the night?”

  “Uhh, well . . .” I groaned as I ran my hands through my hair.

  Quinn’s eyes opened wide. “Wait. No fucking way—you let last night’s romp sleep over?”

  I nodded. “It seems that way. I mean, we . . . well, you know, but then I woke up with her head on my chest and my arm around her.”

  “Holy shit, Emmett. What the hell are you gonna do now? She’s bound to wanna come back for more. They always do.”

  I leaned over and put my hands on my knees. “Well, there’s another complication.”

  He rested his hand on my shoulder. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”

  “Yeah, but she’s not just some girl from the party. She’s Sam—as in Tamron and Alison’s best friend—Sam.”

  “Oh, fuck, man.” He looked up to the ceiling as he leaned back against the wall.

  “Yeah. I know.” I groaned. “They’re gonna have my ass, aren’t they?”

  “Dude, you gotta get out of here. I’ll just say you had to work early or something. At least until Riley and I can get them to calm down after they find out.”

  “No. I’m not running off. I . . . like her. I think that’s why I let her stay over. There’s just something about her, like she pulls me to her.”

  “For fuck’s sake, now you just sound like a girl.”

  “Shut up, man. I don’t want her to wake up with me gone and feel like she was just some piece of ass.”

  He stared at me, his eyes wide, then shook his head. With one last bewildered glance in my direction, he turned around and walked back to his room muttering, “And that folks, is how life, as we know it, changed forever.”

  I briefly considered mainlining the cup of coffee I’d just brewed when I heard soft footsteps on the kitchen tile. I turned around and saw her standing there, wearing a pair of my boxers and my AU t-shirt, which swam on her small frame. I was suddenly thankful I was wearing loose fitting shorts and not my damn jeans, although the jeans would have solved the damn tenting issue I was about to have.

  “Morning.” I smiled, holding the coffee I had just poured for myself out to her.

  Her eyes lit up when they settled on the steaming cup in my hand. “Good morning,” she smiled as she took the cup from me.

  “We, uh, have milk and sugar, if you want some. There isn’t any of that foo-foo creamer here though.”

  “Milk and sugar is good. Thanks.”

  “So, you like coffee,” I said as I poured myself a new cup.

  She chuckled. �
��Yeah, you could say that.”

  “We don’t really have much normal food in the house this morning. I might be able to scrounge up an English muffin or two.”

  “Those are good.” Her voice was a little shaky.

  “Look, Sam, this doesn’t have to be weird. I mean, we’re both consenting adults. This is just new territory for me. I’ve never had this kinda interaction with a girl the morning after.”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Well, just what kinda interaction do you usually have then?”

  “None.”

  She gasped. “None? Like ever?”

  “Nope, I’ve never let a girl stay overnight before.”

  “What? You just use ’em and toss ’em out the front door?”

  I held up my hands. “No, that’s not it. The girls I’m usually with just go back to the party or whatever when we’re done, then go home when everyone else does. There’ve been a few who wanted to sleep over, but I was up front with them from the beginning. It’s just not my thing . . . or, well it wasn’t. Until you.”

  “Oh . . .” she began, but shouting from the living room suddenly interrupted us.

  “What the fucking hell, Quinn? How did you let this happen?” Tamron yelled as she rushed into the kitchen.

  As soon as I saw the angry look on Tamron’s face, I leaned back against the counter and stared up at the ceiling.

  “Babe, just wait a minute . . .” Quinn urged as he caught up with her.

  “No. I will not wait a damn minute, Quinn.” She swung her head in my direction. “And you!” she seethed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing with her?”

  Sam cleared her voice. “Tamron, stop. There’s no need to be upset or yell. We spent the night together. Quite frankly, it’s none of your business.”

  Tamron shook her head. “Sam, Emmett doesn’t spend the night with girls. He fucks them and moves on,” she said in an exasperated tone.

  “Well, he spent the night with me,” Sam replied as she motioned to herself and the clothes she was wearing. “And I enjoyed it—every minute.”