UI 101

by M. K. Claeys

  “They printed that?” Mitzy and I yelped at the same time.

  “They did. It’s right here,” Rae said, passing us the paper.

  Mitzy whistled. “I can’t believe they would put something like that in a university-sponsored newspaper. President Allerson must have upset someone pretty high up in the press office.”

  “She did it,” I whispered as I dug into my cherry pie with unusual gusto. “I can’t believe she did it.”

  “Ryn,” began Paul, setting down his spoon in his pudding bowl. “What did you do?”

  “Me?” I feigned innocence. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “Ryn,” Paul thundered. “Don’t you lie to me, or I’ll tickle it out of you right in the middle of the caf’ and you know I will!”

  The whole table was waiting for me to answer, so I took the last bite of my pie, savored every morsel, set my fork down on my plate, and wiped my mouth daintily with my napkin before I answered.

  “I didn’t do anything. I just happened to be talking with one of my classmates before lecture last week about what Allerson had done with the alumni donation money, and when she asked me what I thought of the president, I told her.”

  “You told her you thought the university president was a—” Jamaal grabbed the paper so he could read the quote aloud. ‘Self-absorbed ignoramus with no concept of the university’s more pressing needs, and she must have a brain power rivaling that of an intellectually deficient Neanderthal if she can’t see where funding could be used more appropriately.’ You said that?”

  “I did. I thought it summed her up quite succinctly, as a matter of fact.”

  “I won’t deny that our president needs a good spanking and a look at the world without her rose-colored glasses on,” said Mitzy primly. “But I still can’t believe you said that. And how did it get in the paper anyway?”

  “Simple. The girl I was talking to is actually a journalism major who works at the paper for her internship. She thought what I said was so…what was it? Oh yeah…‘honest and refreshing’ that she asked me to write it down and give her permission to quote me.”

  “And you gave it?”

  “Naturally.”

  Meanwhile, Paul was smoothing out the paper, folding it up, and carefully slipping it into his backpack.

  “Hey! What are you doing with that?” I cried.

  “I’m saving it!” he said sincerely. “I’m going to take it to my room, cut it out, and frame it. Because not only did someone finally say what thousands of people on this campus have been dying to say, she got it printed and published in the university paper, and she also happens to be my best friend. So I am going to save it and frame it and show it to my future children that I will someday be able to have thanks to people like this brilliant little minx sitting across from me.”

  I blushed. “Well thanks, Paul. But I think you could get a better copy. That one has a stain on it that looks suspiciously like spam.”

  “All the more to savor from the moment, my dear Ryn.”

  “I just hope you don’t get in trouble, Ryn,” said Mitzy worriedly.

  “My name isn’t on there, though, is it? She did that on purpose, just in case. But I know I said it, and that’s enough for me.”

  “But why did you say it? I mean, if you’re so upset about what she did, why didn’t you just go and picket in front of the admissions office with all the other students? Then you could take a more active role in the protest.”

  “That’s true,” I admitted, “but that requires so much more energy. And besides, I heard that a few of those kids ended up getting violent and throwing stuff at the windows of the office. I’m pretty sure they’re being expelled.”

  “You’re kidding!” cried Rae. “Expelled? Who does that anymore? And why throw things at the windows only? Why didn’t they try to bring down the Bucky statue? I mean, if you’re going to be destructive and get expelled, you might as well make the most of it, right?”

  “Well,” commented Jamaal, “because I think the students kind of forgive Allerson for that. We’re one of the only universities left that didn’t have a monument in tribute to its mascot, and I think a lot of people were embarrassed about it. Graduating students wanted to have something they could take their picture by in their caps and gowns.”

  Rae nodded slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. It is a pretty sweet monument to Bucky.”

  “That’s all well and good,” I agreed, “but it doesn’t change that she spent almost half a mil on renovating her office.”

  “Which had just been redone five years ago,” noted Paul.

  “Exactly! She could have redone the biomedical building and still had enough money left over for Bucky.”

  “I’m not saying I support President Allerson, but well, students could have picketed and not thrown bricks at the windows, though, right?” pressed Mitzy. “Isn’t that what the spirit of America is about? Being able to protest? You couldn’t do that when we were still British colonies. I mean, if it is something you feel so strongly about, wouldn’t you want to do everything in your power to amend the situation?”

  “The pen is mightier than the sword,” I quoted.

  “I know that, I just don’t understand why you would rather berate someone in a paper or online blog when you really should just do something about it and have it done.”

  “Ah, you see, my dear Mitzy, that is where you and I don’t see eye to eye. While berating someone to their face is all fine and dandy, you can only tongue-lash a person once. When you protest, you can really only do it so many times or hours before you get a restraining order slapped on you. When you berate someone in a book, newspaper, or online, you get to stab them with your proverbial sword each and every time someone reads what you have written.”

  “And everyone reads the Illington Industrial,” Jamaal said, nodding. “Most people would rather sit and do the crossword than pay attention in a lecture, and any article related to Bucky is bound to have nearly the entire student population read it.”

  “Right. And only a handful of people even cared about those protestors because it’s such a small campus, which is totally sad because they had a point.”

  “Until they started throwing things, of course,” said Mitzy. “That’s when they lost any chance of making a difference.”

  “Uh-huh. You’re totally right that peaceful protests can make a magnanimous impact, like the bus boycotts and stuff, but those five kids who got expelled will be long forgotten in just a few weeks, whereas my statement in the paper will be documented forever in the university archives. So yeah. I’d totally rather attack someone with my proverbial sword than a physical brick to their window any day. Can you pass the sugar? My pie is a little dried out.”

  Mitzy, Rae, and Jamaal just looked at one another, while Paul and I gave each other a high five.

  “Nice use of the word proverbial, Ryn,” Paul praised.

  “Why thank you, Pauly. I rather thought so myself.”

  The paper article wasn’t mentioned again until three weeks later. It was the week before Thanksgiving, and I found a package wrapped and waiting for me on my bed. I opened it to find that Mitzy had taken Paul’s idea, cut the article with my quote in it out of the paper, and had matted and framed it next to the paper’s color photo of the new Bucky statue. On the back she had written,

  To taking a stand and doing what’s right—not just for you, but for everyone. I’m proud to call you my friend. Love always, Mitzy Callaway.

  “Rae, can I borrow your notes?” It was Monday night. Thanksgiving was on Thursday and our sadistic professor had decided to give a test on Wednesday, right before we broke for the holiday.

  “What notes?”

  “The notes, as in from our psych lecture notes. Can I borrow them?”

  “No.”

  “Thanks. I’ll get them back to you—wait. What?”

  Rae sighed and swiveled her chair away from her laptop and faced where I was sitting on the rug, painstakingly tr
ying to find important bits of information from lecture from my pieces of notebook paper.

  “No, you can’t borrow them, Ryn.”

  “But there’s a test on Wednesday! The last one before our final in December!”

  “I know. Which is why I have been studying since last Friday. Which is why I have been reading the material in the book since the last exam we had back in the middle of October.” She sighed and then added, “Which is also why I haven’t been texting in class and so only getting down half the notes from Professor Winters’ PowerPoints.”

  “But if I don’t study your lecture notes, how will I pass? He doesn’t post the lectures online.”

  “He doesn’t post them online because he tries to prevent people from skipping or not paying attention in lecture,” she deadpanned. Rae tossed the textbook to the floor at my feet. “Here. I just finished typing up the last of my textbook notes. You’re pretty good at retaining information by just listening to it, so if you read aloud you might be able to get by without lecture notes.”

  I stared at her. It was like an alien had come in and replaced my roommate. My roommate was a pod person!

  “Professor Winters goes by the book mostly anyway,” she continued, as if she had no idea that her brain and heart had been extracted and replaced by a life-sucking being from another planet. “So if you read the chapters and maybe take some notes of your own, you should be okay. The book’s even highlighted, so it should only take you, like, an hour and a half to go through each chapter.”

  I picked up the book and scanned through the required chapters. It was Monday. There were over five chapters to read by Wednesday.

  “Rae. This is impossible! Can’t you just let me use your notes this one time and then I won’t ask again?”

  “No. I can’t. Because for the last two tests you have used my notes to study from, and I feel like I’m passing this class for the both of us and that’s not fair to me. I’m really sorry, Ryn, but I can’t let you do it anymore.”

  “I—”

  “It would be different if you actually paid attention in lecture and took notes yourself because then we could compare them along with our notes from the reading. But you don’t read and you don’t take notes, so that doesn’t work. It’s not fair for me to do the work for both of us.”

  I grabbed the book and my notebook and stalked off to the study lounge in a huff. I had hardly been there for five minutes when my phone rang.

  “Hey, Brian, what’s up?”

  “Ryn! Hi, babe. I’ve been trying to call for hours. Is everything all right?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine. I have a major test this week, though, so I’m trying to study.”

  “Why study? Don’t you know it all already?”

  “No. And my roommate won’t let me use her notes anymore because she doesn’t think it’s fair for me to pass using her work.”

  “What a psychotic bitch. So listen. I have the night off. Do you want me to come over and we can hang out?”

  “Brian, I really can’t. If I flunk this test, I could be in serious trouble. I got Cs on the last two, even with Rae’s notes.”

  “So I’ll help you study. And if your stupid roommate won’t let you use her notes, just steal them when she’s not in the room and use them.”

  “Brian!” I cried, scandalized. “I’m not going to steal Rae’s notes! First off, it’s wrong, and second off, she would hate me for life!”

  “So? Who cares? I mean, passing this test is what’s important, right? What do you care if your roommate, who you’ve only known for three months, hates you?”

  I couldn’t think of anything to say; I was so shocked at how Brian was approaching the whole situation.

  “What do you think, then? I’ll come over and help you study for a little while, and we can use her notes, since she’ll leave if I’m there to give us privacy, and then we’ll relax.”

  “Brian, this test is really important.”

  “Right. Which is why I’m offering to help your study. For a while. Because you know I can’t keep my hands off you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea because you know I won’t get any work done.”

  “Does that really matter? I just want to spend time with you, Kathryn.”

  Ugh. There he goes, calling me by my full name again.

  “Look, now is not a good time. I’ve got to study, and it looks like my only source is the textbook.”

  “So ask her again. You probably weren’t assertive enough. You never are. Ask her and keep asking her until she relents.”

  “Brian, she won’t.”

  “You don’t know until you try. See, that’s your problem. You’re too passive. You need to go after things you want and not take no for an answer.”

  “Like how you won’t take my telling you not to come over because I have to study for an answer?”

  “Exactly. So do you want me to pick up Chinese food on the way? I really will help you study. I promise I’ll be a good boy.”

  I smiled. “I know, but really tonight is not a good time. I’ll be home Wednesday afternoon, though, and we can have Chinese food then, if you’d like. I know I’d really like to. We can celebrate me kicking this test’s ass, okay, babe?”

  Brian sighed. “Fine. The guys wanted me to hang out with them tonight anyway, so if you don’t want to see me, I can always go chill with them.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to see you, you know that. It’s just this is really important to me, you know what I mean? I’ll make it up to you, though, I promise.”

  “All right. I’ve got to go and let them know I’m coming out with them. They always hate it when I add or bail at the last minute. Bye.”

  And he hung up. I looked down at my phone for a moment, wondering whether he really had just basically hung up on me, but decided that I didn’t really care. I picked up my book and headed back to my room.

  “Hi, Rae.”

  “Hey, Ryn,” she said cautiously. I think she knew I had been upset when I left and was gauging how to read me.

  “Look, about the notes.” Rae stiffened, and my heart plummeted. I hated fighting with my roommate. It made life so miserable. “You’re totally right. And I’m sorry. It’s not fair to you, and I really do want to pass this test. So I’m going to read and take notes from now on so when the final comes around we can study together, okay?”

  “Sure, Ryn,” she agreed, brightening. “And if you have questions on something, just ask, and I’m sure we can figure it out together, okay?”

  I nodded. “Thanks. Well, I better get cracking, huh?”

  “Yeah. Chapter ten is a killer, but I think as long as we know the defense mechanisms, we should be okay. I mean, that’s like ten questions right there, so what more could Winters ask, you know?”

  “Yeah.” I settled down onto the futon and began flipping through the pages, making notes in an actual notebook this time.

  “Ryn, are you okay?”

  “Hmm? Me? Yeah. I just had a fight with Brian a little bit. But it’s fine. I’ll see him Wednesday, and it’ll be fine.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m here if you want to talk about it. You know that, right?”

  I actually smiled at her. “Yeah. I do.” I paused. “Actually, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Shoot.”

  “I know Mitzy’s going to her aunt’s for Thanksgiving, but I didn’t know if you had anywhere to go. And I mean, it’s Thanks-frickin’-giving. You should have a family to eat it with. So if you want, my parents and I wanted to invite you to ours.”

  Rae smiled. “Really? You mean it?”

  “’Course I do. You’re like my best friend, Rae, I wouldn’t want you to be alone on Thanksgiving. It’s, like, sacrilegious.”

  She came over to the futon and hugged me. “Thanks, Ryn. It means a lot to me.”

  “Me too. That you’ll actually come, I mean, when I was so crappy to you just now.”

  “Aw, stop! I feel bad, t
oo, about—”

  “Don’t. You’re totally right. I can’t expect people to do my work for me. I’m glad you’re a good enough friend to come out and say it to my face right off, or else, who knows? I might have really screwed myself later down the line. I mean, it sucks to have to learn the hard way, but it could have been a lot harder if you hadn’t been honest with me. It was really brave of you.”

  “Pshaw! Whatever. But you’ll be fine. You’re smart, Ryn, and I bet you remember more from the lectures than you think. So get cracking on that book and make it happen!”

  “I will. Do you want me to help you hang the blanket up over your bed so the light won’t bother you? I think it’s going to be a long night.”

  “Sure. Thanks. And if you get stuck. wake me up. Well, on second thought, don’t, because I’ll probably be sleep-retarded and give you wrong information. Just mark it with a sticky note, and I’ll look it over tomorrow.”

  “Sweet. Thanks, Rae.”

  I helped her hang up the blanket over her bed and then settled myself down with a cup of tea and started reading. After all, it was only Monday night. I still had all Tuesday and Wednesday morning if I wanted to wake up early, and Rae could totally quiz me on the walk to the lecture hall.

  I could do this. I just had to put my mind to it.

  12

  Mitzy

  “I can’t believe that exams are less than two weeks away,” I moaned to my friends on our way down to dinner. “I haven’t studied nearly as much as I should have.”

  “Mitzy,” said Brad, “they say you’re supposed to study, like, two or three hours a week for every credit hour you take. Wasn’t that it, Rae?”

  Rae shrugged and helped herself to more vegetables on top of her rice, liberally applying soy sauce and salt.

  “What?” I cried. “Three hours per credit hour? Then I’m even more behind than I thought!”

  “Mitzy, please,” beseeched Ryn. “No more about exams tonight. You study, like, an hour a week for every credit hour you’re enrolled in. Most of us only study an hour a week per class. So get over yourself. You’ll be fine.”